The morning of the Order comes early.
However, it’s later than Astalion’s.
The reason was that since Bersia came to the Order, she had never once overslept.
When the dawn light trickled through the window and tickled her skin, Bersia opened her eyes.
She briefly woke her dazed mind, washed her face, and sat up.
It was only at that moment that she remembered what kind of day it was.
It was part of her daily routine.
‘The third day of the festival.’
She had plans in the afternoon.
In Usher’s body, her role was to assist Usher who resided in her own body.
Though, in reality, it was quite close to a date, but well, if that’s assisting, then it was assisting.
She smiled faintly and washed her body.
The water temperature was quite cold. The sensation of it waking her mind was something she had grown fond of lately, so she tended to wash herself with this temperature.
Afterward, she finished getting ready and wore a light shirt and pants.
Today was a free morning.
Usher had been summoned with other holy women for festival matters, and this kind of thing had been happening quite often for almost a month. Bersia had gradually learned how to reflect on solitude.
These days, she realized more than ever how much things had changed.
The speed of change was unlike anything she had experienced before.
In the past, Bersia’s life had been almost stagnant for five years with Astalion, and another 15 years with the Order.
During that time, her life had been confined to thinking and acting within specific categories.
But now, every day was different.
The person she was yesterday and the person she was today had different thoughts, different emotions, and remembered different things.
Except for Usher, who stood at the center of it all, her inner worldview was constantly expanding.
The colorless world had started to take on color, but such a cliché expression didn’t quite capture it.
There might be a more fitting description, but as Bersia left her quarters, she mulled over that thought.
During her free time, she often went for walks alone.
It was the best way to clear her mind and empty herself.
Her thoughts flowed smoothly as always.
And, as always, the end of her thoughts led to Usher.
More precisely, the cracks in her thoughts led to memories of Usher from the previous day.
The way he shyly nodded when she jokingly asked if he needed a secluded spot was truly…
The more she thought about it, the more amusing he seemed.
‘He won’t let me kiss him, yet…’
He was fidgeting, almost drooling, so she pressed her lips towards him.
He turned his head, biting his lower lip as if to say, “That’s not happening.”
Though his eyes clearly seemed to yearn for it, it wasn’t easy to break down those psychological or sexual barriers.
‘How should I make him fall?’
If he knew I was thinking this, he’d probably start scolding me.
Should I try? That squirming reaction never got old, so it was a thought she had.
She was walking alone, smiling to herself.
“Of…!”
She paused, her steps halting.
A boy was walking towards her.
With sky-blue hair and blue eyes, he looked strikingly similar to her, even in his facial features.
It was him, the boy.
“Your Highness! It’s nice to see you!”
Ah, this was the brother she had finally met during the festival.
“…Ah, the crown prince.”
She smiled lightly, trying to appear friendly.
To look like she held no ill will.
“Are you out for a walk?”
“Yes! I thought it might be rare for me to visit the main church of the Sacred Order, so…”
It was an uncomfortable situation.
Actually, she had lied to Usher.
She had pretended to act like it was because of the backwards nature of the system, hoping he would like her better if she acted cool.
In reality, that intention had worked. She had gained some satisfaction through him.
However, Bersia could not look at this boy fondly.
It wasn’t that she harbored ill will towards him, but rather she hated the faction he belonged to—Astalion.
It was hard for her to smile.
He didn’t know her true feelings. That’s why this boy approached her, smiling so innocently and offering a gaze of affection.
“If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind showing me around the Order…?”
The words of refusal rose to her throat.
But she couldn’t bring herself to speak them.
Berzia smiled brightly instead.
“Yes, gladly.”
If it was Usher, she would have done so.
That was the first reason. The second was because she herself couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at the absurdity of it.
Though she didn’t want to, she couldn’t leave the boy alone.
That feeling blossomed within the confines of brotherhood.
-Sister! Look at the clouds!
To Bersia, siblings held that kind of meaning.
She headed toward a quiet terrace at the outskirts of the Order.
On the way there, she passed by the Order’s main buildings, so she was able to fulfill his request to show him around.
During the process, she gathered several bits of information about the boy.
The crown prince’s name was Ludio. Ludio de Astalion.
It was said that Queen Hermion had given him that name.
At that point, Bersia had to hold back her urge to curse.
Even so, there was no helping the faint bitterness that surfaced in the smile, so they tilted their head back to hide their expression.
Ludio. Ludia.
The intention behind that name was too clear.
Bersia felt sympathy for her young sibling.
Because just from that name, she could realize what kind of life the boy had to live.
A replacement for a deceased sibling.
Within the name “Ludio,” the queen’s overwhelming self-pity was deeply embedded.
It might be a bad thought, but realizing this wasn’t entirely bitter.
At the very least, Bersia had one more reason to feel less uncomfortable around Ludio.
From one piece of information, countless others unraveled.
Finally, the tiny speck of curiosity about the sibling gradually expanded into a broader understanding of them.
“The book described the temple’s architecture as a living history. From the grand cathedral built in ancient styles to the modern lodgings, everything is arranged in chronological order from the center to the outskirts. That’s why they call it a spectacle. Seeing it like this, I can truly understand! As expected, time is….”
Ludio was a child who learned about the world through books.
Despite having a position where he didn’t have to, he lived that way.
It wasn’t a choice he made himself. He must have been placed in an environment where he had no other option.
“That must be a sacred artifact. The way it’s been exceptionally well-preserved, and the boundary set around it… Ah, then those priests must be guarding it….”
He was quick-witted and observant.
His keen insight and observation skills must have made him aware of his circumstances.
“It’s beautiful. As expected, getting a recommendation from a local was the right choice…!”
Even so, he was naive. Having lived in such an enclosed cage, he displayed kindness too easily.
That could be dangerous, yet his defenses were too weak.
‘Is she trying to atone for something? That woman.’
The thought slipped out unconsciously.
A wave of disgust surged.
As if doing this would bring the dead child back to life.
At that moment, they arrived at the terrace.
It was a place Bersia personally knew.
She had never brought Usher here.
And for good reason—this terrace overlooked the coastal cliffs, and she only came here on days when she felt like throwing herself into the sea.
It was strange.
Without much thought, since Usher wasn’t around, she immediately thought of this place and wandered here unconsciously.
Fortunately, the choice wasn’t wrong.
Ludio gazed at the waves crashing against the cliffs.
The wonder on his face was so pure and full of admiration that someone like Usher would have smiled warmly and looked at him with pity.
“Is this your first time seeing the sea?”
“Ah, yes…!”
“Of course, Astalion is deep inland. It’s also particularly cold there.”
“Oh, you know about Astalion?”
Her tongue had been too loose.
She had no choice but to gloss over it.
“The Saintess tells me things from time to time.”
But the reaction to those words was strange.
Ludio flinched in surprise and stiffened.
Then, as if contemplating something, he pressed his lips together before finally asking,
“…That’s surprising.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s just… surprising that the Saintess talks about our kingdom. Just… a little. Yes, surprising.”
It was a statement with a lot of implications.
At least one thing was certain.
Ludio was not the ignorant, pitiful child Bersia had thought he was.
Somehow, through some means, he knew about an event that had happened before he was even born.
An event that had never been officially recorded.
A bitter smile crossed his youthful face.
Bersia realized something through that smile.
Before considering what emotion it carried, she first confronted her own feelings.
Pity.
The emotion that had always lingered at the base of her heart deepened just a little more.
‘Why?’
Why did he try to bear the burden?
He hadn’t even been born at the time—he had done nothing wrong.
So why was he trying to become a sinner like her?
Because he was too mature for his age?
Or because he felt indebted?
No.
Her brows furrowed.
“I thought the Saintess wouldn’t talk about her homeland. I don’t know if you’re aware, but… it wasn’t exactly a pleasant place.”
It was simply the environment he had been placed in.
Humans adapt to survive, and that underdeveloped child had merely figured out how to become a sinner in order to live in such an environment.
That didn’t sit well with her.
Maybe that’s why.
“Your mother’s a fucking bitch.”
“…Huh?”
“The Saintess says that often.”
Bersia, uncharacteristically, attempted to comfort him.