Chapter 1: Regression – (1)

I let the slow tolling of the bell slip past one ear as I gazed at the face of the woman standing before me, dressed in a pure white dress.

Her hair, even whiter than her dress, the sharp arch of her brows, the beautiful sapphire-like eyes within them, a nose that could be described as classic, and neatly layered crimson lips.

She, Ilia Rigmond, was to become my bride, and though my heart fluttered at the thought, the moment I read the emotions in her eyes, that faint excitement vanished forever.

Despair, anger, shame.

Her cold, lifeless eyes glared at me, devoid of any positive emotion.

‘Is there no other way?’

Perhaps it was an inevitable outcome.

This marriage was nothing more than a farce.

Under the name of the imperial decree, she was shackled to me, destined to live a life of constant surveillance, and I couldn’t help but feel pity for her.

Moreover, as if the emperor’s wrath wasn’t enough, he even set the wedding date to coincide with the anniversary of Ilia’s parents’ death.

In such circumstances, how could I, the second son of the Serigard family—the emperor’s most loyal sword—appear favorable to her?

I let out a hollow laugh inside.

Though three years had passed since our engagement, she had never once agreed to meet me during that long stretch of time.

Thus, this wedding was only our second meeting.

‘Maybe it was better not to meet awkwardly.’

It was a play orchestrated by the emperor.

Naturally, I was given a role as well, and that role was to monitor my wife-to-be, Ilia, and…

I stopped my thoughts.

The wedding had begun, and there was no more room for distraction.

The tedious and monotonous speeches.

Yet, there was one redeeming quality.

“Aren Serigard, do you swear to love Ilia Rigmond as her husband for the rest of your life?”

“Yes, I do.”

Even though it was the emperor’s question, I answered honestly, without a hint of falsehood.

“Then, my niece, Ilia Rigmond, do you swear to love Aren Serigard as his wife for the rest of your life?”

Ilia bit her lip and glared at the emperor, but nothing would change.

The emperor looked down at her with amusement, and Ilia reluctantly nodded.

“I hereby celebrate the birth of a new couple. Now, share the kiss of vows.”

I knew.

‘I’ll probably never get close to Ilia in this lifetime.’

The shallow feelings I harbored for Ilia after only two meetings would never see the light of day.

I would never receive her love; instead, I would only receive her anger.

Her attitude might cool my heart, or perhaps I might even come to despise her.

Yet, at this moment, I could swear that I loved her.

Though that faint excitement had vanished forever, my heart was still racing.

On the day of our nominal engagement, when she wore a black mourning dress even before the funeral rites were complete, I had already fallen for her.

So today, at this wedding, I decided to be true to my feelings one last time.

I slowly approached her.

Ilia didn’t step back, nor did she show any emotion.

Perhaps she had resigned herself to this cruel and sorrowful fate.

Her expression bothered me, so I forced a smile and whispered in her ear.

“At this moment, I love you more than anyone else.”

Her expression twisted at my words.

She whispered back into my ear.

“I will never love someone like you.”

“I know.”

As I said this, I leaned closer to her.

“Still, I’m glad I can be true to my feelings, even if just for now.”

“…Ugh…”

I took her hand and interlaced our fingers.

Our bodies were close, and soon our lips would meet as well.

“…I don’t want this.”

Those words didn’t come from me.

They came from Ilia, who had tightly shut her eyes.

‘…Ah.’

It must have been an unconscious utterance.

Ilia knew that her resistance alone couldn’t nullify this marriage.

That’s why it was her true feelings, the vulnerable part of her hidden beneath her sharp demeanor.

‘…What am I even doing?’

Perhaps that’s why I was suddenly overwhelmed with a strong sense of doubt.

This made me no different from the emperor, who was watching us with cold eyes from the podium.

So, I turned my body, changing the angle between Ilia and me.

To the onlookers, it would still appear as though we were kissing.

The distance between our lips didn’t close any further, and after confirming the guests’ reactions, I relaxed my posture.

“…What…”

Ilia looked at me with bewildered eyes, but I ignored her gaze and looked up at the emperor.

The emperor’s face was filled with delight.

He didn’t say a word, but his gaze remained fixed on me for the rest of the ceremony.

That strange reaction filled me with unease, and that unease soon became reality.

War.

Less than a year after Ilia and I were married, the emperor declared war.

It was a war against the kingdom to the east of the empire.

And, of course, Ilia, who was a thorn in the emperor’s side, was sent to the front lines.

The justification was more than sufficient.

The Rigmond family had produced war heroes for generations and was one of the four families that protected the empire.

As the head of the family, Ilia had no grounds to refuse.

Moreover, since she carried the blood of the imperial family, albeit only half, she couldn’t escape the responsibilities of the royal household.

I knew this was all part of the emperor’s scheme, but there was nothing I could do.

The emperor wouldn’t listen to me, and Ilia and I hadn’t exchanged a single word since the wedding.

‘Am I just supposed to watch as Ilia goes off to war…?’

The only consolation was that Ilia was far from weak.

Born between the imperial family and the Rigmonds, her talent for swordsmanship was overwhelming, and she possessed the combat prowess of a high-ranking knight.

But war was war, and even a high-ranking knight wasn’t guaranteed to survive.

‘If Ilia dies…’

Just the thought made the world seem to crumble around me.

The more Ilia ignored me, the stronger my feelings for her grew.

Perhaps it was because the emotions in her eyes when she looked at me were no longer just disgust or anger.

If Ilia were to die, I would live a life worse than death, and eventually, I would follow her to the grave.

My decision was swift.

I immediately turned my steps toward her office.

“Haa…”

I sighed as I stood before the door to her office.

It was inevitable that I would feel anxious at the thought of facing Ilia.

Still, I reached out and knocked on the door.

“Come in, Sebastian.”

Sebastian was the head butler of the Rigmond family.

‘She thinks it’s Sebastian.’

That was fortunate.

If she knew it was me, she would never have opened the door.

In fact, I would have been lucky if she didn’t lock it.

“Yes, what is it, Seba…”

Our eyes met.

For a moment, her eyes showed surprise.

“…Why are you here?”

Her voice was icy.

It was the reaction I had expected, so I pushed aside my bitter feelings and forced a smile.

“I am your husband. I don’t think there’s anywhere I can’t go.”

“You know as well as I do that we can’t be called a real couple.”

“There’s still the formality, isn’t there?”

“Even though we haven’t fulfilled any of the responsibilities of a couple, emotionally or… physically?”

“That was your choice, wasn’t it?”

Ilia closed her mouth, seemingly at a loss for words.

Her reaction stung, but I had no intention of forcing the responsibilities of a husband on her, nor did I hold any hope that such a thing could happen, so I brushed it off.

“So, what do you want?”

“Take me to war with you.”

At my words, Ilia’s eyes widened for a moment before she shook her head.

“No.”

It was the reaction I had expected.

“I don’t understand why you’re refusing.”

“…How can I trust you? You’re from the Serigard family.”

Serigard.

A family that had served as the head of the Obsidian Knights, a knight order that moved solely for the emperor, a family that had sworn loyalty only to the emperor.

That was the Serigard family, so it was only natural that Ilia distrusted me.

After all, circumstantially, it was the emperor who had killed Ilia’s parents.

There was no physical evidence, but the suspicion was overwhelming.

In just one year, two members of the royal family had died, and the emperor had been replaced.

It was clear to everyone in the empire that the emperor had orchestrated it.

And the emperor’s enforcer was the Serigard family.

There was a question mark over whether the emperor truly trusted the Serigard family, who had served the previous emperor, but at the very least, the Serigard family, and my older brother, the head of the family, served the current emperor.

The distrust of me, the second son of such a family, seemed deeply rooted in Ilia’s heart.

But I had no intention of backing down.

Ilia’s life was at stake—how could I back down?

“What would I have to do for you to trust me?”

At my question, Ilia scoffed.

“Well, it’s not going to happen, but maybe if you branded yourself.”

A brand, as the name suggests, is a kind of shackle placed on slaves, and it is, of course, a symbol of relinquishing one’s dignity as a human being.

“Branding might be difficult. But I can offer something similar.”

Something similar to a brand.

A binding of the soul that, if trust or faith is betrayed, demands atonement through death.

Fundamentally, it’s no different from a brand, but the symbolism changes completely when it shifts from master and slave to knight and lord.

“I will make the knight’s vow.”

The knight’s vow.

A pledge that those who have awakened their aura can make only once, entrusting their aura, achievements, and life to their lord.

And I was now offering that vow to her.

“…What…?”

She blinked, seemingly shocked.

That’s how significant the knight’s vow was.

People romanticize it as love, loyalty, and the like, but in reality, it’s no different from a brand—a curse with only the subject changed.

Ilia fell silent for a moment.

Her gaze was fixed solely on me, and for some reason, that made me incredibly happy.

“…What do you want?”

“Nothing. As I said, take me to war with you.”

“So why do you want me to take you? Why throw your life away meaninglessly? There’s no need for that.”

“I don’t want to see you die. I don’t want to see you get hurt. If that happens, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

“…Who are you to me?”

It was a fundamental question.

Ilia and I had no connection beyond the formal relationship of being husband and wife.

We had never met before the engagement, and we didn’t even know who each other was.

Yet, I had fallen in love with her, and even the fragile thread of our marital bond was precious to me, so I spoke.

“I am your husband. As a husband, I can’t bear to see my wife get hurt, can I?”

“…That’s just a relationship forced by the emperor. It doesn’t explain anything.”

Ilia’s voice was calmer than I had ever heard it before.

I could easily detect the hint of tears mixed within it.

I smiled once more.

This time, it wasn’t a forced smile.

It was a faint smile, one of the most genuine I had ever mustered.

It hung on my lips.

“I wish you would smile. You’re beautiful even when you’re frowning or crying, but I think you’re most beautiful when you smile. Though I’ve never seen it.”

“…Just because you say that doesn’t mean I’ll like you.”

“I know. I’m prepared for that.”

“…You don’t have to make the vow. You have the right to go to war as my husband.”

“Still, I want to make the vow.”

“…Do as you please.”

Ilia took a sword hanging on the wall and drew it.

The sword was completely blunt, but neither of us objected.

That blunt sword was the perfect representation of our relationship.

“Aren Serigard, do you swear to pledge your lifelong loyalty to the current head of the Rigmond family?”

“Yes.”

“Aren Serigard, do you swear to sacrifice yourself for the daughter of the fallen prince for the rest of your life?”

“Yes.”

“…Aren Serigard, do you swear to love me, Ilia Rigmond, for the rest of your life?”

“Yes.”

“Then you are my first knight and my sword.”

With that, the knight’s vow was complete, and I could stand before her not as a nominal husband, but as her knight.