[“Hey, um… do you remember me?”]
Is this one of those “Do you know the Way?” kind of things?
I was blankly staring at my phone in a café near campus when I got that message.
I glanced at the top of my group chat, which warned me to be careful with messages from unknown numbers, and felt confused.
Not many people contact me.
Actually, I barely even have any numbers saved in my phone.
Hmm.
Impressive, huh.
“…Who is this?”
Kim Yeji.
I stared at the name and photo on the profile for a while, then dredged up a memory of her from a corner of my mind.
“Oh, that group blind date.”
She was the girl sitting across from me at the group blind date a few days ago.
She kept trying to talk to me, clearly showing interest, which made things awkward.
Maybe it was my fault for even going to a blind date I wasn’t interested in.
[Yeah. I remember. So, what’s this about?]
I replied casually.
Based on experience, these kinds of things usually turn into a hassle.
[Um… I like you, oppa. Would you maybe like to see a movie with me this week? You said back then that you liked movies.]
Just as I thought.
My bad premonition didn’t miss.
It’s a bit unfair, though.
When my friend told me about the blind date, they said it didn’t have to be romantic.
They said I could just go to have fun or make friends, and to keep it lighthearted.
This is the point where I shouldn’t leave any room for hope.
If I hesitate here, I’ll just end up hurting her more.
So I sent a clear reply on KakaoTalk:
[Sorry. I really appreciate how you feel.]
[But I was just filling in a seat that day, and I’m not looking to date anyone right now.]
After finishing the message while carefully thinking of how to hurt her the least,
A blunt voice brushed past my ear from the side.
“Not looking to date right now? Sorry, I really appreciate how you feel? Ugh. Just go die, you damn popular guy.”
“When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
“You shouldn’t be snooping on other people’s phones. That’s not cool.”
“Then scold me. Ooooh, so scary. I’m terrified. Shaking.”
Yoon Kanghoo.
He was looking at my phone, then sat across from me.
Making weird sound effects and mocking me—he’s my classmate in university.
Wearing horn-rimmed glasses that don’t match his muscular body,
He’s got this weird character of being both a gym rat and an otaku.
I’m not even sure how we ended up friends.
I think we just randomly chatted at an MT, realized we liked the same games and were both otakus, and naturally hit it off.
“This is why I don’t like good-looking guys. Don’t give girls false hope if you’re not into them. You lead them on, then go, ‘Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.’ Just crush her innocent heart. So tragic.”
“Hey, stop exaggerating. You shooting a musical or something? And I didn’t lead her on!”
“Just going to a group blind date is already giving her hope, no?”
“That’s… true, but you know why I went.”
“I do. Very well. You went to make your childhood friend of 15 years jealous, didn’t you?”
In true otaku fashion, as a media and film major, Kanghoo replied with a movie character impression.
I felt pathetic for even talking about love with a guy like this.
Because I’ve never dated anyone, and Kanghoo has had several relationships.
Even this guy gets to date… so why not me…?
“It wasn’t just to make her jealous. I mean, that was part of it, but not the whole reason.”
“Yeah, yeah. So how did it go?”
I took out my phone and showed him my conversation with Yoo Chaeryeong, my friend of 15 years.
I scrolled and let him read.
The message was painfully honest.
[Already done? That fast? Was it fun? Anyone you liked? Are you finally dating someone now?]
I had sent that after getting home from the blind date.
I was definitely trying to gauge her reaction.
And this is what I got.
“Like this?”
“This is serious. You’re seriously hopeless. Can’t you give up already? Doesn’t this tell you everything you need to know?”
“…”
“Yoo Chaeryeong—is she even a girl? How can she not notice when you’re dropping this many hints?”
“…”
“Is she just clueless, or does she seriously not give a damn about you?”
“Ugh…”
Kanghoo’s harsh truths pierced through my chest like arrows.
Yeah, he’s right.
Even after I told her I went on a blind date, she just cheered me on.
Yoo Chaeryeong, the girl I’ve been in love with for years, has no idea how I feel about her.
Or maybe she knows but just doesn’t care.
She only sees me as a good friend.
That’s why she can send messages like that.
“Well, you’ve been best friends for 15 years. Maybe it’s more like siblings than anything romantic?”
“Don’t say siblings.”
“If someone told me to date my own sister, I’d be horrified too.”
“It’s not that horrifying… come on…”
I get it.
When a relationship has lasted for a long time, it’s hard to change how you see someone.
But still, I wish it wasn’t like that.
“Honestly, with your face, you could date any girl you wanted. Just confess to a stranger and she’d probably say yes.”
“I want to give up too… but what can I do when I just can’t?”
I really did want to give up.
That’s why I went on that group blind date.
I thought things would be different once I started college.
I believed that if I met new girls and broadened my experiences, my feelings for her would fade.
But now it’s been over a month since the semester started, and nothing’s changed.
Even when I meet classmates, go to group blind dates, or see pretty upperclassmen—none of them interest me.
Yoo Chaeryeong is just way cuter.
Ugh, I miss Yoo Chaeryeong.
That thought just kept circling in my head.
“You’re such an idiot. If you’re not gonna give up, at least confess already.”
“Can’t you tell just by looking at this? If I confess, we can’t even be friends anymore. She doesn’t even see me as a guy.”
“Then what do you want? You don’t like this, you don’t like that. Just get rejected and move on. That’s the fastest way.”
“Are you a T (personality type)? You’re supposed to empathize! Empathize!”
“Boohoo. Poor Taeo, drowning in regret because Yoo Chaeryeong doesn’t notice him. So hard for you, huh?”
“F*** off. Just don’t even try to empathize.”
He said it in that deep-man-trying-to-be-a-baby voice, and I could feel the iced Americano I just drank trying to come back up.
At the glare I shot him that screamed “you’re disgusting,” Taeo took a sip of his drink with a slurp.
Then, he changed his tone and spoke in a more understanding way.
“Honestly, I get it. Yoo Chaeryeong is seriously pretty. No wonder you can’t give up. Makes sense.”
He’s right.
Yoo Chaeryeong is really pretty.
It sounds childish, but she’s famous around the school as the goddess of our department.
“She’s the goddess of the Media & Film Department, isn’t she? With that face, she should’ve been an actress, not a director or PD. What’s she even doing here?”
“I don’t like her just for her looks. It’s her personality, her kindness—those are what I like.”
“Oh, sure. Of course. I totally believe you. Yep.”
He clearly didn’t believe me. Asshole.
But the truth is, I actually know why she came here.
Yoo Chaeryeong wants to be a YouTuber.
When she first told me she was coming to this department, she said:
“I’m gonna learn how to do YouTube here and become a famous YouTuber!”
It was such a pure goal.
So her.
No need to tell this idiot that, though.
Then it happened.
My phone, which I had placed on the table, started vibrating.
Was it that girl from earlier?
She hadn’t replied since I turned her down.
Maybe she finally sent some long curse-filled message?
I picked up my phone to check—and her name popped up.
[Yoo Chaeryeong]
Speak of the devil.
I put a finger to my lips and motioned to Kanghoo to be quiet, then answered the call.
“Hey. What’s up?”
I kept my tone calm and casual, like always.
Thanks to years of acting and a well-worn friendship, it wasn’t hard.
[Hey, Yoon Taeo! What are you doing? Class over?]
“Yeah, I finished class. Had lunch and came to a café with Kanghoo.”
[When’s your next class? Are you done for the day?]
“Yep. All done.”
Her voice was as cheerful as a puppy greeting its owner.
That clear, honest tone always suited her.
Like a beagle, maybe.
Whenever I thought of her, that was the animal that came to mind.
Kanghoo just stared at our conversation like it was ridiculous.
[I just had this amazing idea! Taeo! It’s totally crazy! Seriously!]
“Oh, really?”
[I mean it! You’ll be shocked when you hear it! Don’t just give me that bland reaction!]
With her, sudden outbursts and nonsense were nothing new.
I just waited quietly, wondering what kind of dumb idea she’d say next.
Probably something like how amazing the new toilet cleaner she bought is.
Or that the pasta she ate earlier was so good we should go try it together.
That’s the kind of stuff we usually talked about.
“So? What’s this world-shattering idea of yours? Let’s hear it.”
[Okay, so…]
She paused for dramatic effect, then giggled playfully and said:
[Wanna start a YouTube channel with me? I’ll make you famous.]
With a baseless confidence from who knows where, she declared that nonsense loud and proud.