To pass the time, I had been testing the strength I’d gained from Bliss’s procedure until just moments ago.
Bliss’s procedure had proven unexpectedly helpful. My capacity for divine energy had increased dramatically.
‘Even if it’s still minuscule compared to magic…’
At least I was no longer incapable of using it. With a few more of her procedures, I might even reach a perfect state.
Of course, deciding whether to undergo her procedure again required careful consideration.
“Sigh… I’m so bored.”
I muttered into the air, knowing no one could hear me. It was a meaningless lament, purely an expression of my boredom.
At that moment, I heard the sound of footsteps.
I turned my gaze in the direction of the sound. Soon, the owner of the footsteps appeared.
To my surprise, it was the Hero.
“Hero? What brings you here at this hour?”
“I couldn’t sleep tonight. May I speak with you for a moment?”
I nodded at his question. It was a welcome opportunity, as I had been feeling bored.
The Hero sat down near the campfire, taking a seat.
Soon, he began to speak.
“The night sky is beautiful.”
“It truly is. So dazzlingly beautiful, it looks as though someone scattered jewels across it.”
As was customary, the conversation began with small talk to ease the initial awkwardness.
“Indeed. By the way, are you finding the journey uncomfortable in any way?”
“Thanks to everyone’s consideration, I’ve faced no major inconveniences.”
“That’s good to hear.”
The Hero replied with a faint smile and fell silent for a moment. After a brief pause, he looked at me with an apologetic expression and spoke.
“I sincerely apologize for what happened before. I could have approached things more gently, but I pushed my own intentions too hard. I’m truly sorry for hurting you again.”
Was he referring to that incident? Perhaps the event after the celebration, or maybe even our very first meeting.
I offered a faint, bitter smile and answered.
“It’s fine. It’s all in the past now. There’s nothing to be done about it anymore… I’m the one who’s been struggling to move on, that’s all…”
As my words trailed off, silence enveloped us again. The atmosphere made it difficult for either of us to speak further.
It was the Hero who eventually broke the silence.
“I heard you used the Holy Sword.”
“Ah, that. Yes, I did, though I’m not entirely sure why, even now.”
“Could I ask what was going through your mind at the time? Were you thinking about what you wanted to achieve, or perhaps you were simply acting out of desperation…”
My thoughts during that time…?
I hesitated, unsure if I should divulge them.
But if I didn’t respond, our rare opportunity for conversation would end abruptly, and that would be a shame.
So I decided to answer.
After carefully thinking about his question, I cautiously began to speak.
“At that moment, I only wished for one thing—to protect Reina. That was all I wanted.”
“To protect her… I see. That makes sense. Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”
“Not at all. I’m embarrassed that such a simple answer was of any use to you.”
“No, your words have made it clear to me what I currently lack.”
Really…?
I struggled to suppress the look of confusion that threatened to appear on my face in response to his words.
‘It somehow reminds me of the time with Olivia…’
As I found myself wrapped in that inexplicable feeling again, he suddenly asked me another question.
“Ruina, may I ask you something?”
“Yes? What is it?”
“Is a life without meaning one of living… or one of dying?”
I turned my gaze to him, puzzled by the question. He wore a bitter smile, his voice tinged with self-deprecation.
“What?”
His abrupt question left me no choice but to respond with a bewildered expression.
“It was a slip of the tongue. My apologies.”
He quickly dismissed it with another bitter smile.
“Please don’t mind it. Just think of it as me talking to myself.”
When he said that, it only made me pay more attention.
Looking at the Hero, it was as though he was practically screaming that something was weighing on his mind.
I began to wonder why he had asked such a question.
From his troubled expression, one thing was clear:
‘He’s definitely grappling with something…’
But what was it? That was the question.
‘If I could help him solve it, it might earn me a lot of goodwill.’
Lately, I hadn’t been living up to the image of a saint. If I could offer him the right words to resolve his troubles, wouldn’t that reinforce my image as a saint in his eyes?
Even if it didn’t, no harm would come from it.
So I thought carefully about what I should say.
‘A life without meaning…’
After pondering for a while, I spoke softly.
“I suppose I can answer you like this: both.”
I then waited for his attention to shift to me.
I deliberately avoided looking directly at him, giving the impression that my words weren’t specifically directed at him. It was a subtle way to ensure I had an escape route if I misspoke.
While sneaking a sidelong glance, I eventually noticed his gaze turn toward me.
Once I was sure I had his attention, I began to speak again, letting my thoughts flow freely.
“Humans are such contradictory beings. We die to live well, and we live to die well.
These contradictions manifest inconsistently across the lives of many individuals.
Some die because they cannot live, while others live because they cannot die.
Human life appears in all these varied, inconsistent forms, but there is one constant across all human lives.
And that is: all human lives begin with birth and end with death.
Although some transcend death to live on eternally in books or oral traditions, most lives follow the same path—from birth to death.
This means our final destination is the same for all of us. The only difference is the path we take to get there.”
With that, I paused, gently brushing Reina’s hair as she slept peacefully on my lap. I took the moment to gather my thoughts for what I would say next.
After a brief pause, I looked up at the night sky and continued.
“Hero, I believe that life and death are not far apart. To me, they are like the two sides of a coin.
The front and back of a coin may appear different, but they are always bound together as one coin.
Though the coin has two sides, ironically, when we use it, we can only see one side at a time. The other side remains hidden, obscured by the one in view.
There is only one way to see both sides: flipping the coin to view the opposite side.”
I paused after speaking and checked on the Hero’s reaction.
Fortunately, he was focused on my words. Though his gaze was fixed on the campfire, I could sense his attention was directed at me.
Relieved that my words were still resonating with him, I continued.
“Similarly, life and death are not entirely separate.
Just as flipping a coin changes the side we see, depending on circumstances, will, or thoughts, one of the two—life or death—manifests in our lives.
Thus, life is determined by your will.”
I turned my gaze to the Hero. This was the highlight of my argument.
Adopting a tone and voice full of motherly compassion, I spoke:
“When the gods brought you into this world, they blessed you with two paths: the path of living and the path of dying.
It doesn’t matter which you choose. In the end, both paths lead to the same destination. Only the process differs.
If you choose to live, you will live. If you choose to die, you will die.
Which path do you wish to walk? The choice is yours and yours alone. No one can decide it for you.
But one thing is certain: whatever path you choose, the gods will respect and bless your decision.
So, choose. How is your life flowing right now? Are you living? Or are you dying?”
I finished speaking and looked at him intently, waiting for his answer.
After a moment of silence, he finally replied.
“I am… dying.”
“In that case, there is only one answer I can give you.”
I gently clasped my hands together as if in prayer. Smiling softly, I looked at him and said,
“I will pray for you to live again.”
At that moment, the Hero stared at me with wide, surprised eyes.
‘Perfect.’
Satisfied with his intense reaction, I smiled inwardly and closed my eyes, uttering the motto of my faith.
“The gods desire it as well.”
After a brief pause, I carefully opened my eyes and immediately checked his condition.
The Hero had shifted his gaze back to the campfire. The astonished look on his face was gone, replaced by an indifferent expression.
‘Did I fail?’
Disappointed by his seemingly detached demeanor, I inwardly lamented. I thought I had delivered a compelling speech, but it seemed I had overestimated myself.
Accepting reality, I prepared to move on, ready to let go of my lingering gaze on him and turn back to the campfire.
But then.
“Thank you.”
His words reached my ears.
At that moment, a small smile tugged at the corners of my lips.
Those words meant that my speech had, in some way, impacted him.
And that meant I had managed to raise his impression of me in his heart.
‘Perfect.’
I struggled to suppress my rising grin, forcing it into a warm and benevolent smile.
A great performance must be flawless to the very end.
I glanced at the Hero one last time. He seemed deep in thought. If left alone, it felt like something might change within him.
‘My work here is done.’
I shifted my gaze back to the campfire.
Soon, silence enveloped us again, with only the crackling sound of the fire breaking the stillness.