Chapter 71: A Horse Without Legs Can Travel A Thousand Miles

In a subculture game I once enjoyed, there was a sub-quest titled “The Galactic Train Carries Love.” 

It was a quest that revisited the early parts of the story, and I remember being quite moved by it. 

But now. 

That memory has been brutally overwritten. 

Yes, if I had to describe it. 

The train carries love dolls……. 

I’m not sure if this is actually part of the game’s story or if I took a wrong turn and the story went off the rails. 

Perhaps it’s the fault of the game developers who created this world in the first place. 

Lost in such thoughts, I gazed out the window, enjoying the bumpy ride reminiscent of the Mugunghwa train. 

In the distance, I saw a rice paddy ridge. 

A lizard humanoid (gender unknown) and a human man were sitting face-to-face, sharing a drink from a kettle (probably makgeolli). 

Beside them, a robot with flowers in its hair (gender unknown, alcohol consumption capability unconfirmed) was dancing. 

It was a bizarre scene, as if 23rd-century cyberpunk civilization had time-traveled to 18th-century Joseon. 

And then, one excited kid shouted. 

“Duju! What’s that, what’s that?” 

《Identifying. Adjusting image quality. Identification complete. It is a statue of Empress Heo, the founding contributor of the Great Hwan Empire. Looking into the statue’s eyes brings happiness, health, laughter, growth in height, and even an increase in bust size, among other positive effects.》 

Not believing a single word of this absurd claim, I stretched my neck to look out the window, not at the eyes but at the tiny head of the statue. 

Tina and Neb moved their heads smoothly at one degree per second until the statue was out of sight. 

……Even Neb, who always scolds Tina for being dumb, fell for such a ridiculous story. 

“Here, Ark-nim? Ahh, say ahh──” 

“Wang!” 

“Oh my.” 

On the left. 

Ellis kindly offered me a piece of candy, holding it up to my mouth. 

On the right. Rumi, who ate the candy Ellis meant for me. 

“……Me too…….” 

Next to the two still diligently moving their heads. 

Rene, drooling profusely. 

If I were the Demon King, I would’ve quit right then and there. 

How could I conquer the human world with these guys? 

* * * 

When my butt started to ache slightly. 

Finally, the Ark Thieves, no, our hero party, arrived at the core city of the main story for floors 21-25. 

‘Neo-Hanyang.’ 

“Moo──” 

“It’s my first time seeing a live cow, woof!” 

I’m not sure why they added ‘Neo’ to the name, but it definitely felt like we had arrived at a folk village. 

As I watched a lizard humanoid, resembling a reptilian, riding an ox-cart with interest. 

“Duju-girl?” 

《Incorrect term. This Duju Unit 38 is not a Duju-girl. However, as a guide, I will accept your question.》 

“Can we rent that ox-cart? It looks good for carrying luggage.” 

《Affirmative. However, I do not recommend it. Oxen are expensive to rent. I recommend a rickshaw instead.》 

“……? A human-pulled rickshaw is cheaper than an ox-cart?” 

《Affirmative. Oxen are important strategic resources. However, humans can be replaced if they die.》 

What kind of champy nonsense is this? 

Modern sensibilities about human rights whispered about death spears and Luddites. 

But causing a scene in the capital of a potential enemy force is not wise. 

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. 

“Alright, Rumi and Rene? Let’s go get our friends. Ellis, try to get us some ox-carts or rickshaws. We need four since there are four coffins.” 

First, let’s pick up the heroes who are snoring away in their coffins. 

As I dragged Rumi and Rene to the cargo hold to retrieve the love doll cases, no, the coffins. 

Zzzt── 

Zzzzt── 

An unspecified number of people began to emit an intangible killing intent towards me. 

At first, I wondered why. 

“How extraordinary……” 

“Hoho, the laws of Neo-Hanseong have fallen to the ground.” 

“Juin-nim, should we crush them?” 

“Hold it, Xandar, no, Rumi.” 

Rumi. 

Lukiyat-hou is not allowed. 

……Hearing them openly badmouthing, no, front-talking me made me feel strangely conflicted. 

But emotionally, I could understand. 

To others, I must look like. 

A super alpha male pillar lord, making two women carry two love doll cases each, confirming a 7P play……or something like that. 

To hide the rising bitterness and shame, I pulled my hood down further and hurried back to where the group was. 

“Hoho. Do we really need humans or oxen when we’re here? We can pull them ourselves.” 

Ellis, this crazy girl. 

Had brought four carts. 

If we go like this. 

It’ll look like I’m some insane king of the underworld, making four women (including a minor under 140cm) each pull a love doll case……! 

“W-wait. Let’s load them first. Uh, Tina, let go of the handle……!” 

“Uung?” 

“Wait, just a second.” 

I need a decoy. 

I quickly opened the lid of the nearest coffin. 

“Uung…… Johanna wants to sleep a little more……” 

I closed it again. 

In the next coffin. 

“Ark……? I…… miss the Great Forest……” 

Renatel, an employee on the verge of resigning due to homesickness, was groaning. 

“That’s impossible.” 

“Nng……” 

She’s a flight risk, so I closed it again. 

But the lack of motivation is a serious issue. 

Maybe I’ll take her on a tour of the Great Forest after collecting some beastman tail fur for grooming. 

Finally, in the next coffin, I found the talent I had been searching for. 

At least she’s tall and speaks formally. 

Saha’s bright eyes seemed like she could temporarily act as a stand-in. 

“Saha? I need a favor.” 

It’s been about two days since I last washed it, but. 

I had no choice. 

I handed her the robe that had an identity-concealing spell (according to Ellis). 

“Put this on. And just pretend to be me until we reach our destination.” 

I’d rather be a harem king (virgin) than get into that coffin. 

That is the choice of Steins;Gate. 

* * * 

In the world of Last Calyx, there was still an unexplored result. 

The human body has something called the Major Histocompatibility Complex. 

To skip the tedious and pedantic explanations, it’s basically a gene that emits a scent. 

It’s also the main culprit behind the intense aversion most siblings feel towards each other. 

(Of course, the world is wide, and mutations are many.) 

And now. 

Saha, wearing Ark’s hood soaked with his scent, was on the verge of ecstasy. 

Nnngh. Nnngh. 

With delicate hands and slow, deliberate steps, she pulled the cart carrying Ark’s coffin. 

Saha wished this moment would last forever. 

She hoped time would stop right here. 

“Krrrr……” 

Rumi, sensing the growing spiritual pressure from Saha, raised her tail. 

A catfight, no, a dogfight was about to break out at any moment! 

“Rumi, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing, woof……” 

Tina, riding on Rumi’s shoulders, gently stroked her ears, and Rumi’s tail drooped under the mesmerizing touch. 

“It’s heavy……” 

“Ahh? Stupid spider, Neb isn’t heavy at all! It’s the luggage behind you.” 

“Neb is heavy……” 

“Eek!” 

The timely banter between Rene and Neb eased the tension, allowing Saha’s happy journey to continue a little longer. 

But nothing lasts forever. 

Before long, their footsteps passed by the grand walls of the palace, and soon they arrived at the palace gates. 

“Halt. Unauthorized persons may not pass.” 

The royal guards blocked their path. 

While Saha, still intoxicated by the scent, was unable to break free from her dizziness. 

Ellis, with Duju Unit 38 on her chest, stepped forward. 

“We are here on behalf of Her Highness the Princess. This Duju will vouch for our identity.” 

《Affirmative. Duju Unit 38 confirms. These friends, no, these people are emissaries of the First Princess.》 

* * * 

“Hmm.” 

Hwa Roen, the gatekeeper of the East Gate, furrowed his brow. 

If the Duju vouched for them, it was unlikely to be a lie, but the party’s appearance was quite foreign, despite wearing the colors of the Great Hwan Empire. 

Thus, additional verification was necessary. 

For example, he needed to check if they were carrying anything overly dangerous into the palace. 

“Step back. I will inspect your luggage.” 

The voluptuous woman in a hood hesitated for a moment, making Hwa Roen consider drawing his sword. 

But then, a lewd-looking female dog with her chest exposed and wagging her tail pulled her back. 

The first box he opened. 

Inside was. 

A female-type love doll. 

Why would the palace need something like this? 

Could it be that the reason they opposed the marriage ban was because of this preference? 

Hwa Roen’s mind raced with all sorts of impudent thoughts as he reluctantly closed the lid. 

The next box, and the one after that. 

More female-type love dolls. 

And when he opened the final lid── 

“Gasp.” 

Expecting another female-type love doll, Hwa Roen barely suppressed the gasp that threatened to escape. 

Inside was. 

A male-type love doll of unparalleled beauty. 

No, perhaps it was a real person. 

He could clearly hear the sound of a beating heart. 

Thump, thump, thump. 

No, perhaps that heartbeat was his own. 

Hwa Roen couldn’t tear his eyes away from the exotic beauty rarely seen in the Great Hwan Empire. 

《Warning. This item is to be delivered to the First Princess. Do not show excessive interest.》 

“Ah, ah……” 

As if waking from a sweet dream, Hwa Roen sighed and raised his head. 

Then, with a very careful hand, he slowly closed the lid. 

“……There’s nothing dangerous here. You may pass.” 

If anything, that appearance itself was dangerous. 

But since it was something the First Princess had gone to great lengths to bring in, it wasn’t his place to question it. 

* * * 

Unfortunately for the First Princess and Ark. 

Hwa Roen’s mouth wasn’t particularly tight-lipped, and. 

That day happened to be the day of the East Gate royal guards’ dinner gathering. 

Naturally, many guards were curious about why Hwa Roen had been so shocked by the contents. 

After a few drinks, Hwa Roen’s lips loosened, and the drinks kept flowing, and the story kept spinning, and spinning, and spinning out of control. 

What started as a simple account of seeing a “male-type love doll of unparalleled beauty” had, by the end of the gathering, turned into. 

‘Our beloved Princess has finally broken her vow of celibacy and brought a stunningly beautiful foreign youth into the palace to marry him! How can this not be a joyous occasion for the nation! I’ll drink until my nose is crooked tonight!’ 

And by the next day. 

The rumor would have spread throughout the entire palace.