Chapter 46: Immortal Techniques

“…Call me Master!”

“Wifey (ˊ˘ˋ*)♡”

“I told you to call me Master! Can’t you understand human speech, you damn octopus?!”

“Wifey (ˊ˘ˋ*)♡”

My Dao heart… is dead.

No matter how perfect my plans are, this guy always finds ten thousand ways to mess them up.

“Forget it. Considering how unlucky you are— just like me— I’ll let it slide this time.”

I turned to face the Lion King.

When a cultivator is furious beyond measure, they may not show killing intent.

Because for a cultivator, anger must be expressed through slaughter.

Right now, I only wanted to make the enemy pay with their life, by any means necessary.

And killing intent would only put them on alert.

“Stupid disciple, remember— if anyone ever dares call you an Evil God again, show them exactly what the Evil God is capable of!”

“Okay, wifey (ˊ˘ˋ*)♡”

“…Watch closely! This is how your Master fights! This is the true purpose of a storage space!”

I reached under my skirt.

And pulled out—

A street-blasting speaker, nicknamed “mini tank cannon for cars,” retrieved from the storage ring on my leg band.

“Pfft, playing background music in a fight? You’ve watched too many cheesy soap operas if you think BGM makes you invincible!” the Lion King scoffed with disdain.

I smiled faintly and pressed the power button.

Cyberpunk-style electro-rock exploded through the cave.

The speaker came with a disco ball, flashing neon lights in sync with the beat.

The pounding, grating rhythm began to sync with heartbeats and pulses.

My white tail flicked.

From this moment on—

Hunting time begins!

In the blink of a neon flicker, Fox-Fox vanished from sight.

“Shhhiiing—”

Throwing knives— transformed from everyday fruit knives by removing the handles and rebalancing— now deadly, practical weapons.

“Thwip, thwip, thwip—”

The knives were hidden beneath the light pollution from the disco ball; even the whistle of their flight was drowned out by the booming music.

In an instant, three blades pierced three throats.

Three stunned thugs clutched their necks in disbelief.

…When did she?

Where did those knives come from? When did she throw them?

They didn’t even see it!

Thanks to the blinding lights, even the trajectory of the blades was completely concealed!

WTF — this little brat is damn sneaky!

We thought she brought the speaker for music, but she used the light pollution to hide her knives!

“Three.”

I softly counted the number of fallen enemies.

“Seven!”

While they were still dazed, I used more knives to take down a few more thugs before they could summon their spirit beasts.

I had long discovered a fatal flaw in Earth’s power system.

No matter how strong your spiritual beast is, if you haven’t summoned it, you’re nothing but a helpless weakling.

And summoning drains your beast’s stamina— it can’t be sustained indefinitely, only activated temporarily at the start of battle.

So, as long as I kill fast enough—

They don’t even have a chance to fight back!

“Summon! Everyone, summon now!”

After witnessing that strange and scarily precise attack, the thugs finally realized I was no pushover.

They had dismissed me as just a little girl, never imagining I’d have such deadly combat experience.

“Too late!”

At school, I can’t go all out. Because more than defeating my enemies… I’m better at killing them.

“Thwip, thwip, thwip—”

A dagger slashed across one neck, then, with a backward spin, plunged into the chest of an attacker from behind, then was yanked out.

Three sounds, two kills.

“Nine.” I recited the count like the Grim Reaper tallying souls.

Only then had the remaining enemies finished summoning their spirit beasts.

“You deserve to die!”

The Lion King roared, slamming a punch toward the back of my head.

The blow was so powerful that, after missing, it embedded deeply into the stone wall.

“Sorry, you’re the final boss — wait your turn.”

Against multiple foes, even a lion can be overwhelmed. Clearing the minions before facing the boss is basic strategy.

There were thirteen enemies total. Excluding the Lion King, clearly the strongest, that left three.

I calmly assessed them, analyzing their post-summoning forms to identify their identities and weaknesses.

“Fish — agile, but low attack power. Weapon: sharp fins.”

“Bird — high mobility, low defense. Weapon: wide-area destructive spells.”

“Insect — hard exoskeleton and high attack, but poor mobility. Weapon: scythe legs.”

Judging by threat level, I immediately determined the kill order.

Bird, fish, insect.

The bird thug realized my intent and tried to hide behind the Lion King.

“Blink!”

When it’s time to use your flash step, don’t hesitate — wait until they cast their ultimate and you’ll be too late.

One stab through the heart.

The bird thug fell, unwilling.

Three left.

“Ahhhh damn it, Old Ten! Bastard! You killed so many of my brothers?! I’ll tear you to pieces today!”

“Brothers?”

I sneered. With the qilin’s agility on my side, I avoided getting entangled with the Lion King and said coolly:

“Be grateful I don’t know your home address.”

Cultivation World Survival Rule #6: Leave no roots behind.

If someone’s related to your enemy, even an infant, you eliminate them.

Next: the fish thug.

Sensing danger, the fish thug didn’t hold back — he launched his ultimate move.

A torrent burst from his mouth, a high-pressure water jet capable of blasting people away!

“East three, south two, north one, west four…”

If Daoist Xiaoyue were here, she’d definitely be screaming again.

I formed a tiger seal with both hands, fingers curled inward.

But unlike last time, I added the Three Pure Ones Mudra.

“—Divine Heaven’s Five Thunder True Method! Water Thunder Technique!”

Boom!

A deep rumble lit up the high-pressure water jet like lightning.

Electricity coursed through the stream, entering the fish thug’s mouth and exiting through his feet into the ground.

In an instant, his body was covered in Lichtenberg figures, snowflake-like burns patterned across his muscles, the scent of scorched flesh in the air.

Unfortunately, I hadn’t neutralized the water cannon’s force.

It struck my chest, and even the leftover force from that brief moment was enough to send me flying.

“Hiss—”

The insect thug had been waiting. His twin scythes slashed toward my waist and chest at a speed even I couldn’t track.

I barely dodged, but still took two moderate cuts — one on my shoulder blade, the other at my lower back.

“Heh.”

Licking the blood that splashed onto my lips, I barely acknowledged the wounds.

It doesn’t hurt during a fight — because the rush of adrenaline dulls the pain. It only hurts afterward.

Besides, the armored thug who hurt me ended up in a much worse state than I did.

“Hurry up and go take a shower — if you can still make it to the water.”

At the last second, I pulled a vial of liquid from my storage space and smashed it over the thug’s body.

He wore near-impenetrable armor, strong enough to block any ordinary blade — hell, even bullets couldn’t get through it.

Too bad I had hydrofluoric acid.

Stored in a sealed, easily breakable container, I just hurled it like a grenade at high-defense enemies. One splash, and it was over.

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh——!!”

With an earsplitting, reeking scream, the armored thug bolted out of the cave.

“Bastard! I’ll kill you!!” The Lion King charged at me again.

This time, I had the energy to deal with him.

My fingers brushed the smooth skin on the outside of my thigh.

With a subtle flick, I pulled a small packet from the storage ring strapped to my leg.

“Puff!”

I flung it straight at the lunging Lion King.

He assumed I was throwing acid again, so instead of blocking, he just tilted his head to dodge.

He didn’t expect a cloud of white powder to burst out of my hand.

“Lime powder?!” the Lion King cried, clutching his eyes in pain and retreating.

Sorry— I told you, cultivators fight dirty.

As he backed away, I didn’t chase him. Instead, I used the opportunity to unleash three throwing knives.

All three hit their mark, but unfortunately, he blocked them with his arms. No vital points.

Perfect.

“You dared to bully my top disciple—killing you outright would be too merciful.”

Flash step!

Before he could react, I appeared behind him, mounted his neck from behind, and jabbed a thick metal tube connected to a large bottle straight down his throat.

I forced it in with pressure—drained the entire thing!

“Gah— urk—!?”

As soon as it was done, I sealed his mouth shut with industrial glue and began to count softly.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One.”

“Blegh— cough cough—!”

Three seconds later, the Lion King managed to rip the tape off and desperately tried to gag himself to vomit the liquid out.

But — his gag reflex wasn’t working!

Was it an anesthetic? Did it numb his reflexes? No, that wasn’t it…

It was poison — with added ultra-strong anesthetic?!

“What the hell did you make me drink?!” he screamed, eyes wide in terror.

He looked at the bottle still in my hand. Three bold characters were printed on it:

[Paraquat]

“Congratulations~ If you get to a hospital right now, you might still have a chance,” I said, smiling warmly like a Samoyed, eyes narrowing gently. “Too bad — you’re about to fall asleep…”

The Lion King collapsed in despair, his body completely paralyzed. His eyelids were starting to close uncontrollably.

He knew exactly how terrifying paraquat was.

Unless you got your stomach pumped immediately after ingesting it, all you could do was sit there and watch your organs fail.

Over the next few days, his organs would shut down one by one.

His body would turn black, bruised and mottled. Breathing would get harder and harder.

Eventually, he’d die from lung failure — slowly suffocating to death.

A long and agonizing torture.

If he wanted to avoid it, he needed to get to a hospital — now. Teleport, escape, whatever it took!

But…

He was paralyzed!

This demon had mixed anesthetic into the paraquat — he was about to pass out!

“Oh no, oh no, don’t fall asleep now~ If you do, you’ll miss the rescue window.”

“Come on, wake up, wake up.”

“Well~ okay, if you insist on sleeping…”

“Then.”

“Good night. Forever.”

……

I gave the unconscious Lion King a kick.

My own exhaustion was finally catching up to me.

Around me, students from Class 1 and Class 2 were all frozen in shock. Aside from their disbelief, there was also something else in their eyes — fear.

A man had died.

It was the first time they’d witnessed someone getting killed in front of them.

And the one who did it… was that girl everyone used to ostracize — Xiao Luo Xian…

They knew just how powerful those thugs were.

All of them were above Stage 8, while the average student was around Stage 4 or 5. Back when they were ambushed, the thugs had totally dominated.

And now, they had all been taken down — by Luo Xian alone!

Thinking back to how they used to shun someone like her… the students from Class 2 felt a chill run down their spines.

……

I kept smiling — warmly, like a Samoyed.

Only now, my snowy white cultivator robe was completely soaked in blood.

It had become a robe of red and white.

Thin streams of blood trickled from my shoulder to my waist, then down my thigh.

It ran down my leg, greedily absorbed by the white over-knee socks.

I walked slowly toward the cage.

The students instinctively took a step back.

My brows furrowed in displeasure.

“Hm? Why are you stopping? Hurry up and write your reflections! No one leaves this cave until you finish!”

Trying to maintain the poise of a proper master, I clasped my hands behind my back and lifted my chin as I walked up to Cluru.

“See that? That’s how cultivators fight.”

The way cultivators fight?

Punk knives and paraquat?

“What you need to learn isn’t a fixed set of combat techniques, but the mindset of adaptability and doing whatever it takes. When your life’s on the line, forget the rules… the only thing that matters is protecting yourself. Got it?”

Cluru seemed deep in thought.

In a life-or-death crisis, you can use any means necessary?

She looked up, eyes serious and locked onto mine:

“If you don’t marry me, I’ll die.”