Chapter 44: The Past

“My story?”

Ye Jinyi sat on the carpet and thought for a moment.

“From as early as I can remember, I grew up in an orphanage.”

“It was a poor rural orphanage, but also a good one. They gave me food every day. It wasn’t anything delicious, but it kept me alive.”

“I used to sleep huddled together with the other kids. Everyone was really kind. I remember there was an older boy who always managed to find wild fruit from somewhere and would share it with us.”

“The director-jie at the orphanage said it was built by the state, so I’ve always been grateful to the country—for giving me a chance to survive.”

“I was actually pretty lucky, born in a peaceful nation, the strongest country in the world, one that truly cares about its people. At least I was able to grow up safe.”

“After all, the chances of an orphan surviving even four years aren’t very high.”

“But I guess I was still a little greedy. I wanted a better life, a happier life. I was like a little devil that could never be satisfied, always chasing after more and more.”

“Education resources in the countryside were terrible. Sometimes we kids had to help out in the orphanage’s fields, pulling weeds, planting vegetables—anything, really. The orphanage needed income too.”

“Later, I scored 450 points, just barely enough to get into the worst high school in the city. But that score was actually pretty good for our orphanage. Nearly 70% of the kids there couldn’t even reach that.”

“After that, I left the orphanage. With help from the state, I started attending high school.”

“My classmates were all wealthy—huge backpacks, all kinds of pens with cartoon characters, and phones I’d only seen in adults’ hands before.”

“In that city, I saw so many foods I’d never seen before. They were all delicious. That’s when I realized—the world was so much bigger than that little village with a few dozen households.”

“But my academic ability was really poor, and I didn’t have much time to study. I had to find part-time jobs constantly, otherwise I couldn’t afford city life, even with government support.”

“After the college entrance exam, I got a 323 and ended up in the worst-ranked university. Honestly, I was lucky. Just a few points lower and I would’ve had to go to vocational school.”

“During college, I worked part-time to buy myself a computer. Then I found a few games to play, and that’s when we first met.”

“After college, I sent out a bunch of job applications. In the end, Heavenly Court Group took me in, so I moved to this city and worked there for over a year. I couldn’t take it anymore—starting at 6 a.m. and getting off at midnight every day, I felt like my body was going to collapse.”

“I was actually lucky even then. Even my landlady gave me a low rent and didn’t seem to care that I owed her months of payment.”

“Sometimes I fantasize about being a cloud in the sky, not needing to think about anything. I guess it’s because clouds float, and floating must mean they’re light—and being light must mean being carefree.”

“I want to be like that too, floating in the sky, not caring about anything in this world.”

“To gather when I want, drift apart when I want—nothing to bind me. I don’t want anyone to define me. I could take on a thousand forms, or stay as one forever.”

“That’s probably why I admire clouds so much, right?”

Ye Jinyi spoke as she looked up at the crystal chandelier on the ceiling, suddenly feeling the urge to reach out and touch it.

But when she stretched out her hand to grab it, she found she couldn’t reach it at all.

Just like those clouds in the sky—forever out of reach.

Ye Jinyi pulled her hand back and continued speaking.

“Later, I quit the company. Everything after that, sister already knows.”

Yingmeng listened to Ye Jinyi’s words as she sat with her back turned, hesitating for a long while.

“So sister doesn’t remember anything from before the orphanage?”

Ye Jinyi shook her head. “All I know is that I was wandering.

Anything before that—I really can’t remember.”

“I see…”

“By the way, has sister always believed she was human?”

Ye Jinyi replied, “Mm, even now, I still believe I’m human.”

“It was actually the day you sent me that information on the Flame That Burns the World—that’s when I realized I was a calamity.”

“To avoid being hunted by magical girls, I dyed my hair black and even spent money buying a whole different style of clothing, just to make myself look completely different from the girl in the photo.”

“I see…”

“Then has sister ever thought about what you’ll do if it’s summer and you still have to wear all those layers?”

Ye Jinyi said helplessly, “I’ll deal with summer when it comes. One day at a time.”

“If I can’t even get through today, why bother thinking about tomorrow?”

Yingmeng didn’t know how to respond to that.

If one has no long-term plans, near-term worries will follow.

That line from the language textbook—maybe this was exactly what it meant?

Yingmeng fell silent for a while. By now, she completely understood Ye Jinyi.

She was a calamity, yes—but at her core, just a child afraid of being hurt.

“Sister… I want to ask you something.”

Yingmeng still needed to confirm one last thing.

She hoped the answer would be what she wished for.

“What does sister want to ask?”

Ye Jinyi looked up at the chandelier on the ceiling again, using it to avoid the impulse to meet Yingmeng’s gaze.

After organizing her thoughts, Yingmeng said, “Can sister control her own power?”

Hearing that, Ye Jinyi instinctively looked at the Red Rose Ring on her left ring finger.

“To be honest, I don’t even know how to use this power…”

“The only time I ever actually used it was in a dream—someone taught me how to use it there.”

“And they said this power can only be used once. If I want to use it again, I’d have to find her for help.”

Someone in a dream? Was it that purple-haired girl?

Yingmeng thought of that closed-eye girl who seemed able to appear anywhere.

The first time she’d met her was in her own dream—and not long ago, she and Ye Jinyi had seen her again.

“Then… can sister promise me something? Please never use that power again.”

“I never even wanted to use it!”

Ye Jinyi said, a little anxious.

“What’s the point of using such a useless ability anyway?”

Now that everything was clear, Yingmeng finally had the courage to say the one possible solution she’d been holding back.

“I see… I don’t know how old sister really is, but to me, you’ll always be my little sister. Let the past stay in the past.”

“By the way—has sister ever thought about leaving this place? Maybe… I could spend a birthday with you sometime?”