Chapter 30: Inner Demon

All the tentacles suddenly became firm and resilient, like antennae locking onto a target, attacking me from all sorts of tricky angles.

“Hey?! You… hey!”

Panicked, I tried to dodge, looking for a narrow gap to escape through.

“Wake up! Cluru, wake up!”

Cluru always gets weird whenever her consciousness starts to blur.

So weird that I even start to feel nervous and scared.

It’s practically racial suppression.

“Don’t do this! Hel—mmph—!”

The room was too small—no space to dodge at all!

The moment my foot got caught, I lost any right to resist.

Soon, both my legs were bound tightly by the tough tentacles, completely immobilized.

I was wrapped up like a mummy, or like a dish laid out on the table for everyone to sample.

My body was slowly presented before Cluru.

I’m doomed. Doomed. Completely doomed.

I shut my eyes in despair, and scenes from those strange comics I read before crossing over popped into my mind.

Maybe I’d soon become just like the female protagonists in them.

No…

The fabric on my shoulder was slowly peeled off.

But just as it reached my waist, Cluru paused.

The room suddenly grew very quiet.

The girl’s ragged breathing gradually calmed.

“So heavy… How did you get hurt?”

Behind me came her pained voice, tinged with a cold anger.

She must’ve thought I was bullied, thought someone beat me up.

“Just an accident. Got hit by a chandelier. It’s nothing.”

“Does it hurt?”

Cluru’s tone now was completely different from usual. 

Half-awake, maybe in a state where her true nature leaked out like someone drunk, she was gentle—yet slightly forceful.

“It doesn’t… ah!”

Damn this girl’s body—if it were the past, even if I ground myself down to the bone, I wouldn’t have batted an eye.

“So careless…”

The soft, slick tentacle brushed past the wound on my shoulder, but instead of triggering pain, it brought a refreshing and soothing sensation.

The wound was healing—much faster than it would through cultivation.

“You didn’t use your transformation power again, did you?” I muttered under my breath.

“If I don’t use it for you, what’s the point of having it?”

“……”

You could use it to get new skins, you know.

Mature type, ice queen, aggressive fighter… I think I could handle that.

What a shame.

The wound was now completely healed.

Looks like my new skin will have to wait.

“Feeling better?”

“Of course.”

Smooth skin rubbed gently against the soft tentacles.

I bit my lip, struggling to suppress the shameful sounds threatening to escape my throat.

Like a knightess trapped in chains, desperately resisting corruption.

“You seem… like you don’t like me,” Cluru said playfully.

“Well… that’s not true.” I tried to keep my voice from trembling.

“Then, do you like me?”

“Not exactly.”

“Oh?”

“I…”

Knock knock knock.

A series of knocks jolted both me and Cluru awake.

“Xiao Luoxian, Xiao Lulu, are you in there? Why did you lock the door from the inside?”

Thank goodness, Teacher Xiaoyuan was back.

……

“Shopping, shopping, shopping!”

Early the next morning, the class rep came running over excitedly. “We’re setting out the day after tomorrow, so today I’m going on a shopping spree!”

I had made plans with Xinyue to go buy supplies together, but now, all of a sudden, I didn’t feel like going anymore.

Because I realized—there was something else I needed to deal with. 

Something far more urgent.

—I stole a glance at Cluru.

Cluru didn’t seem to remember what happened yesterday.

Or maybe she did, and just didn’t bring it up.

But I couldn’t get the feeling from that time out of my head.

As a battle-hardened cultivator, I actually felt confused, scared… and something else, something I couldn’t quite name—emotions I had never experienced before—when facing Cluru.

That shouldn’t be happening. And it was dangerous.

“You guys go without me, I’ve got something to take care of.”

“Huh?! What is it?” Xinyue asked.

“Seeing a doctor.”

“You’re sick?”

“Mm… sort of. I’m going to see a therapist.”

“What’s wrong? Are you depressed? Stressed out lately? Depression isn’t something to ignore…”

“No, it’s just… My Dao heart’s unsettled.”

Seeing a therapist for Dao heart problems—seems like a pretty good match, actually.

The Dao heart, the spiritual will of a cultivator, is what keeps them steady on the path of cultivation.

The path of cultivation goes against the natural order, and is already incredibly difficult.

Not to mention the long periods of solitary closed-door training.

Spending days alone in a dark little room, it’s easy to overthink at night, to spiral mentally.

If that mental exhaustion builds up, it can block progress in cultivation.

In severe cases, it leads to mental collapse and falling into demonic cultivation.

Unfortunately, in the world of cultivators, people rarely pay attention to mental health, so there are countless who end up going astray.

I’m not about to become one of those lunatics.

I need to see a doctor!

I need to figure out how to face this third life I fought so hard to earn and how to face Cluru.