I always overthink things—too obsessed with gains and losses.
I pressed my lips together. The emotions churning inside me needed time to settle, and the air between us slowly grew silent.
I’m someone who tends to stay quiet.
Rarely do I express my feelings in words.
And now, with emotions this intense—threatening to spill out of my chest—I suddenly didn’t know what to say.
“…Sorry.”
In the empty room, the lingering hoarseness in my voice betrayed that I had cried not long ago.
I slowly pulled away from her embrace.
Su Liumeng took a step toward me, and I instinctively stepped back—thud—bumping into the door.
“Su Liumeng… I shouldn’t have overthought everything.”
“Just give me a moment to calm down. Alone.”
I lowered my head slightly, hiding the tear-filled shimmer in my eyes from her.
A dull ache suddenly tightened in Su Liumeng’s chest.
It was the kind of heartache that came from seeing, in the girl before her, the reflection of that lonely boy from years ago—seeking warmth online.
Someone who had never known true security—when they finally felt warmth for the first time, they would become like a firefly drawn to flame, with eyes that saw nothing but the blaze right before them…
She had already forgotten the strength she once possessed.
That’s what Su Liumeng was thinking.
Maybe… she just needed to give her more understanding, more care.
Only those who have been caught in the rain can truly understand the helplessness of being drenched to the bone.
After countless years of twisted evolution, the Su family had long since become a place that produced only malformed talents.
Anyone who fell into the Su family’s abyss would live with its shadows for the rest of their life.
Even now, Su Liumeng herself still carried fatal flaws in her personality.
Thud—
The door was opened and then closed again.
The girl wiped her tears with her arm, almost fleeing the room in panic.
Su Liumeng stood with her hands hanging at her sides, heart aching so intensely she could barely breathe.
She didn’t stop Sì Xinyan from leaving.
At the verge of emotional collapse, no words of comfort could help. A person’s self-repair instincts would clutch desperately at any nearby lifeline.
That’s why, after a breakup, people are especially emotionally fragile—easy prey for someone waiting to take advantage of the opening.
Su Liumeng decided to let her calm down alone for a while.
She walked through the darkness and stopped in front of a door.
*****
Inside the room.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor.
I suddenly didn’t know how to face Su Liumeng.
There was guilt.
Maybe even a bit of awkwardness.
And… a quiet stirring inside, moved by the things she’d done.
I reached up and patted my cheeks—still a little warm.
The heat seemed to cling to my fingertips, just like the tangle of thoughts in my heart that wouldn’t go away no matter what I did.
I shifted positions, tugged the blanket higher, and covered my entire face.
Hopefully I won’t overthink like that again next time.
Why had I never noticed how much I overanalyze everything?
I groaned, dragging out the sound in frustration. Totally helpless.
There hadn’t even been anything that serious. Why did I make such a big deal out of it?
It’s not right.
If this goes on, won’t I just make people dislike me for no reason?
*****
Meanwhile—
In my sea of consciousness, a certain tiny dumpling-like ghost let out a soul-crushing wail.
So hard…
Trying to please someone. Trying to make someone happy. It’s really, really hard…
The ghost infant’s eyes were a little vacant.
She stared at the girl outside, once again slipping into an emotional spiral, and smacked her lips in despair.
If you looked closely, her expression and posture were exactly the same as the girl she was watching.
She really wanted to howl at the sky.
More than that, she wanted to shout at someone:
You human! Do you even realize that every time you sit there hugging your knees and staring into space like that—
—there’s a little ghost who gets emotionally affected along with you?!
The ghost baby’s big round eyes—so soft and cute—began to crack with mental collapse.
No way!!!
She wasn’t giving up yet.
The ghost baby shook her head hard, tossing out all the negativity, and once again filled herself with fierce determination.
I can’t even comfort one person?
“Sì Xinyan!”
“What just happened? Wasn’t Su Liumeng just here? Why are you still so upset? I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on outside,” she said, slowly clenching her tiny fists. “If someone dared to bully my mom…”
Hmph, this generation’s ghost queen’s claws weren’t just for show!
Her soft little voice echoed in my mind.
I pouted slightly.
Maybe I was feeling low, but whenever someone talked to me, I just instinctively opened up. “I…”
“You’re not talking again?” The ghost baby sounded absolutely scandalized. Then she widened her eyes in disbelief. “Wait, are you scared to talk to me now?”
I always overthink things—constantly worrying about gains and losses.
I pressed my lips together. The emotions I needed to process hung heavy in the air, leaving the room steeped in silence.
I’m a relatively quiet person.
Rarely do I express my feelings with words.
Right now, the intensity of my emotions felt like they were about to burst from my chest. I suddenly didn’t know what to say.
“Sorry.”
The room was empty and still.
My voice—hoarse from having just cried—lingered faintly in the air.
I slowly pulled away from her embrace.
Su Liumeng took a step forward, and I instinctively stepped back—thunk—bumping into the door.
“Su Liumeng, I shouldn’t have overthought things.”
“Let me calm down alone for a bit.”
I lowered my head slightly, not wanting her to see my eyes shimmering with tears.
A sudden ache tightened in Su Liumeng’s chest.
That pain came from seeing, in the girl standing before her, the same shadow of a lonely boy from years ago who once sought warmth online.
Someone who had never felt safe or secure—when they finally experienced warmth for the first time, they clung to it like a firefly to a flame. Their eyes would only see that burning light so close before them…
*****
Memories of past small moments began connecting one by one in her mind.
She never imagined she’d become the kind of person someone would be afraid to talk to.
—Was this… fair?
“Let’s be honest here, I’ve treated you pretty well, haven’t I?”
“Whoever else might bully you, I wouldn’t,” Ghost Baby said through gritted teeth, sounding both frustrated and a little hurt.
As she gradually began to understand human emotions, she also started to understand how she felt—and her bond with Si Xinyan.
I was at a loss for words.
She said… she wouldn’t bully me?
How was I supposed to respond to that?
“…Mm,” I replied, lying through my teeth.
Seeing me drooping like a defeated chick, Ghost Baby easily saw that my words didn’t match what I actually felt inside.
Unable to hold it back anymore, she finally blurted out what she’d been keeping in for a long time:
“Are you… really scared of me?”
In my mind, the most terrifying ghost slowly lifted its head from the sea of consciousness.
At that moment, I could almost see what was happening inside my spiritual sea—
A tiny girl, dragging out her words in the softest, syrupiest tone, saying something that sent a chill down my spine:
“Maaamiii”
Even after threatening me, she still called me by name.
Those two sentences combined in my head, and I trembled involuntarily.
I seemed to see ghostly energy filling the sky, and a terrifying figure slowly walking out of it.
My hand at my side curled slightly.
“I… I’m not scared,” I mustered up my last bit of courage and said to her.
But the fear blooming in my heart was so overwhelming that I instinctively ignored what she’d just called me.
I didn’t even dare talk to her casually anymore.
“No going quiet. No playing dead. No pretending to be mute,” Ghost Baby suddenly raised her voice several notches, firmly shooting down all the things I was just about to do.
“And absolutely no saying you’re going to bed!!”
She had realized something—if she wanted to really communicate with someone, she had to be more forceful.
She refused to believe it was impossible to break down this wall.
Whether Si Xinyan might become even more afraid—well, that wasn’t something Ghost Baby could worry about right now.
If they couldn’t find a way to talk properly…
She could already imagine what kind of twisted figure she’d become in Si Xinyan’s heart.
Her slightly aggressive tone made me pause again—part reluctance, part helplessness.
In the end, I could only confess everything.
“A little something happened just now. You probably didn’t notice—it was Su Liumeng’s cold poison flaring up. It made me misunderstand her… just a little bit.”
“I feel embarrassed. And guilty. I ended up doubting someone who’s been really good to me.”
“…I see,” Ghost Baby mulled over my words carefully. “And… what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know yet.” My eyes, still misty, filled with confusion.
“I actually wanted to keep playing dumb. But reason keeps telling me—I can’t just expect others to always understand me. No one’s going to be endlessly patient with someone.”
I slowly raised my head.
My eyes, though wiped dry, sparkled like a sky full of stars.
“Anyway, blaming someone who didn’t do anything wrong—that’s definitely not okay.”
Tomorrow. Let’s wait till tomorrow.
I will do something about this.
“Tch.” Ghost Baby wasn’t particularly interested in who was right or wrong—after all, there was no way her mom could be wrong.
But she had noticed something else, and gasped dramatically, “You told me before that you only liked her face. But listening to you now… why do I get the feeling… you’ve kinda fallen for her?”
No way, right? No way.
Just one or two weeks in, and our mom’s already getting swept off her feet?
I wiped my face again, still feeling the dried tear stains.
“Nothing like that. Stop talking nonsense.”
It wasn’t that I was in a hurry to deny it.
It’s just…
Spilling your true feelings to someone else feels unbearably embarrassing.
“Mm-hmm, not in love, just a tiny bit of like~ How could you possibly like her, right?” Ghost Baby giggled like a mischievous spirit.
“Anyway—just don’t get tricked, that’s all that matters.”
She thought for two seconds, then remembered what kind of person I was. That request might’ve been too harsh, so she quickly added a much looser condition, “Even if you do get tricked, it’s fine—just as long as you’re okay.”
“…We’ll just kill that person, and pretend it never happened.”
Me: “…”
What kind of overly broad condition is that? That doesn’t sound like something a vengeful spirit would say at all.
Also, do I seem like some kind of idiot?
Other than being a little emotionally unstable, I don’t think I have any issues with my intelligence.
After I fell asleep, the ghost baby began pondering a rather serious question—one that had been left unanswered just now.
Was she really that scary?
Even though we’d talked about a lot of things tonight, there was this subtle sense that something had changed from how things used to be.
She searched through her mind for a long time before finding a word that could describe it.
In the past, no matter what, the two of them could barely manage to open up to each other.
But today—it felt more like I was being forced to speak under pressure. The emotional flow just wasn’t as natural, like something was being held back.
Using the universal formula:
A person’s attitude doesn’t suddenly shift for no reason.
Just like how a sudden, cliff-like breakup must involve someone new who fits better coming into the picture.
Which meant—something must have happened at a time she hadn’t noticed.
What could it be? She hadn’t missed any of the major events in Si Xinyan’s life, which left only one possibility—
That something important had happened, but she had overlooked it.
For the first time, the ghost baby seriously began to reflect on this issue.
She was just a vengeful ghost. It made sense that her way of understanding things was different from a human’s.
But she was already evolving—not the ignorant little thing she used to be.
Thousands of years of accumulated experience really were proving useful.
After countless rounds of reflection, she actually did manage to think of a possibility.
She was now replaying a key moment that might have marked the turning point.
Everything—every detail that had happened around that day—was being reviewed in her mind from start to finish.
There’s a chunk of content missing from either this chapter or the previous one
Nevermind, the chapter order for the next few chapters is just messed up slightly.