“So how long did you end up staying in the tree?”
“Not long. Then my grandma came, and that night we had stewed goose in an iron pot… It was so delicious! You really should try my grandma’s cooking sometime.”
“That goose was unlucky to run into you.”
Xu Huo chuckled twice, pulling out a textbook from his backpack to review.
“Who told it to peck my butt? My butt is not for pecking! This is an emperor’s butt!”
On a side note, although Song Jian was round, chubby, and greasy, he was a super rich second-generation.
Initially, Xu Huo didn’t want to believe it, because this guy, from his looks to his demeanor, from his clothes to his conversation, from his hobbies to his social circle… there wasn’t a single thing that hinted at him being a rich kid.
Besides, what kind of rich kid goes to a public school?
Until one evening at a celebrity gala, a live broadcast camera caught him freeloading in a corner.
“Alright, alright, hurry up and do your early reading. If Old Class Leader ambushes us later, we’ll be standing in the corner again…”
As the college entrance exam approached, Xu Huo’s desk was piled high with books and test papers.
Song Jian’s desk was the same, but that didn’t mean their uses were the same.
The biggest purpose of Song Jian’s pile of books was to block the teacher’s view from the podium, making it convenient for him to play on his phone.
For this purpose, Song Jian even specially designed a small hole to hide his phone, drilled painstakingly with a compass.
When he slumped over it during class, it was convenient for both watching videos and automatically flipping pages to read novels.
The key was that it was very discreet. His chubby belly just happened to cover the desk compartment.
This was his biggest advantage compared to others; even if Old Class Leader ambushed from the back door, he wouldn’t be discovered.
Seeing that Xu Huo was actually starting to read, Song Jian quickly leaned over and whispered to him.
“Huo Ge, how did it feel with Han Xiao pressing on you?”
“…Where did you hear that Han Xiao pressed on me?”
Xu Huo glanced sideways.
“Just now when I entered school, I heard two teachers chatting, saying they saw you and Han Xiao fall from the rooftop together… They even said that without you breaking her fall, Han Xiao would probably have been disfigured. Not bad! Hero saving the beauty! Did she offer to marry you in return?”
Upon hearing this, Xu Huo sighed, pulled out his phone from his pocket, opened the selfie camera, and aimed it at him.
Song Jian looked bewildered, “What are you doing?”
“Check yourself, are you smiling pervertedly?”
Song Jian punched him twice in frustration.
His chubby fists didn’t hurt at all.
“How come all the good things happen to you?”
“…Good things?”
Xu Huo raised an eyebrow, reached out and patted his shoulder, earnestly advising, “Fatty, be strong. Although I understand you’re a lifelong virgin, you should really say less of such embarrassing things. People will laugh at you for being a shut-in.”
“Pah! You understand nothing! Put your hand on your heart. Ever since the weather got hot, hasn’t your sister brought you a bottle of ice water from the convenience store every two classes? If I had a sister like that, I could talk like that too!”
Song Jian said indignantly, “What’s more, she’s the campus belle! My old man is really useless…
Why don’t I have a sister?”
“Stop it, okay? Campus belle, my foot…”
Xu Huo scoffed, “The last time I saw that term was in ‘Crooked-Mouth Dragon King’ novels. Can’t we be less cliché?”
“Damn it! I’m telling the truth, this ranking has always been on the tieba, alright!”
Seeing himself questioned, Song Jian immediately pulled out his phone to prove it.
Xu Huo didn’t even bother looking, distorting his mouth, “What about Han Xiao then? Even though Jiang Ran is my sister, I can’t just lie with my eyes open. Han Xiao’s type is clearly more to guys’ taste.”
“This is where you don’t understand. ‘Campus belle’ is just a common noun, not exclusive. There can be gentle campus belles, and dashing campus belles. It’s not about having to decide who’s better… Your sister is the academic-type campus belle, and Han Xiao is the beautiful-type.”
“Is that so… Then which one do you prefer?”
“Neither,” Song Jian said without hesitation.
“Neither?!”
Xu Huo eyed Song Jian suspiciously, quietly scooting his chair back.
It seemed the fatty’s sexual orientation wasn’t quite normal.
Song Jian didn’t notice, just shook his head vigorously, “Anyway, I don’t like your sister… I’d rather like anyone but your sister. I wouldn’t take her even if she threw herself at me.”
“Hey! You dead fatty, explain yourself! What’s wrong with my sister? Is liking her such an insult to you?”
“Nonsense! Can I not feel wronged when you beat me? I’ve long seen through your sister-complex nature…”
Seeing Song Jian’s “I’ve seen through you” expression, Xu Huo was speechless.
“What about Han Xiao?”
Song Jian frowned, shaking his head regretfully, “I liked her a lot at first, but later I found out her character was just so-so. All I heard was negative news. I still prefer the kind of cute and sweet girl like Qin Yimo, beautiful and kind-hearted… Even though she’s not as good-looking as Han Xiao… By the way, do you know who Qin Yimo is?”
Xu Huo shook his head.
“That’s a shame. My old man even invested in a few dramas. When summer vacation comes, we should go visit the set together, I’ll get you a few signed photos. They’ll appreciate in value when she becomes a big star.”
Xu Huo tilted his head, “I didn’t realize you had such high moral standards?”
“Otherwise, would I still be single?”
If I had to rely on money to find a girlfriend, that would be an insult to my character.
“The real world is not as good as the two-dimensional world. Do you want to see my wife?”
Xu Huo decisively shook his head, “I absolutely do not want to see your phone wallpaper.”
“…What a pity. If I had to say, I hope my future girlfriend has Han Xiao’s looks, and the gentleness and kindness of a two-dimensional character. If her hobby was cosplay too, that would be perfect!”
Pfft.
“Huo Ge?”
Xu Huo was slightly embarrassed.
He took a deep breath, composed himself, and said seriously, “Let’s put aside those Qin Yimo signed photos for now. Han Xiao should be coming to find me today. Do you need me to get you her signed photo?”
“Heh heh.”
Song Jian patted Xu Huo’s shoulder, saying earnestly, “A friend can be played with, but don’t play with the heart. Trust between friends is harmless; a laugh lets it pass. May you wipe your tears after speaking, and not let them fall to the ground. Your words, if they can comfort, then there is nothing wrong. Do not take your words as truth. If a friend trusts you, even deceit is harmless, it passes with a laugh. If not a friend, why would you be hurt, wipe your tears and ask your heart. If not your friend, who would believe your words?”
Xu Huo was shocked, “If you put the effort you put into memorizing that into memorizing your lessons, you’d be a top student by now.”
“That’s just how it is. Her mind isn’t even on school, so why would she come looking for you? You yourself admitted that ‘hero saving the beauty’ was a misunderstanding. Could she possibly be thanking you for yesterday’s misunderstanding?”
“You actually hit the nail on the head.”
“Mm-hmm~~”
“She’s really coming to find you?!”
“Guess?”
Xu Huo showed a gentle smile, which greatly impacted Song Jian.
“Xu Huo! You’re truly despicable!!”
“Getting flustered, getting flustered…”
“I’m not.”
“Then can I ask you one more question?”
“Ask.”
“There’s a ‘campus belle,’ so is there a ‘campus hunk’ too…? Hmm? You’re always on Tieba, you must know.”
Xu Huo asked casually, but unexpectedly, the fatty immediately changed his tune and flat-out denied that such a thing existed.
Just kidding.
Behind his back, if someone asked which guy in school was handsome, Song Jian would definitely blurt out Xu Huo’s name without hesitation.
After all, he was his buddy; everyone else combined wouldn’t measure up.
But to his face, absolutely not.
Doesn’t a fatty have pride?!
A man must rely on himself!
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