It seems like I’m completely screwed.
No, it’s definite. I’m absolutely screwed.
I brought the beer glass back to my lips.
The strong bitterness slide down my throat, yet my insides didn’t calm.
Perhaps it was because my insides were burning even more bitterly than the beer.
I thought I was a genius, but my ego was shattered ten years ago.
I thought I was gifted, but even that illusion was broken five years ago.
I thought I was exceptional, but today, that too was destroyed.
Now, there’s nothing left.
Yeah, it’s about time I admitted it.
I’m just an ordinary person.
It took ten defeats for me to recognize my limits.
“Maybe it’s not the university rejecting me, but me rejecting the university?”
The words I muttered under the influence of alcohol were met with a bitter laugh.
I’d fallen to the point of spouting nonsense.
Damn it, twenty years ago, I couldn’t have even imagined being like this.
Once, I thought I’d become a great wizard.
I lifted the beer glass and poured it straight down my throat.
The alcohol-soaked dreams began to seep into my body.
It was a special drink, one that promised only happy dreams.
Originally, I had planned to drink it after passing my exams. Damn it.
My body naturally slumped onto the table.
It felt as if someone was gently stroking my head, lulling me into the world of dreams.
Dreams—my happiest dreams.
But then, a foul stench began wafting from somewhere.
Simultaneously, something grabbed my feet and began pulling me.
It was like sinking into a swamp.
The dream of happiness I was heading toward sank into that stench.
A dream approaches. A dream.
The dreams from before I ended up like this, when I was full of hope.
“Let’s head to the continent, go to university, and become a true wizard!”
With that cursed declaration I made twenty years ago, I was dragged back into the past.
***
It was around the time I turned seven.
Following the orders of the clan leader, all the young children of the clan gathered in an open field.
I was among them.
The clan members sat in a circle, surrounding a young man.
The man, dressed in a strange coat made of raven feathers, smiled as he looked at us.
Introducing himself as Ojo, the young man lit a flame on his fingertip.
The moment I saw it, I was entranced by its intensity.
That bizarre and mysterious power, breaking the rules of reality as I knew them.
“Everyone has the potential for magic. But it’s just potential—it’s difficult to manifest. By contract, I will teach you magic. If one of you manages to awaken your seed, the rest will naturally learn by observing. I will only teach one person.”
From that moment, I began learning magic from the wizard alongside the other children.
Ojo’s stories were fascinating.
He said that wizards on the continent grow trees within their chests.
While saying this, Ojo taught us the “Rooting Technique,” a method said to have been created by a great wizard.
The technique involved believing that human potential resides in the chest, drawing surrounding mana to form a kind of soil within.
When Ojo guided us and channeled mana, an inexplicable sensation began to emerge.
As I continued to breathe as he instructed, an unknown energy started to gather in my chest.
Ojo called this energy mana.
“The mana of this world is full of impurities. If you use it directly for magic, the spell won’t hold. But if the seed within your chest sprouts, it will filter the mana and provide purified mana. If you want to become a wizard, make your seed sprout.”
The title of wizard—it resonated deeply.
I gave it my all.
Even while eating or sleeping, I tried to maintain the breathing technique.
Initially, I couldn’t move properly due to the strange sensation of the mana, but I gradually adapted.
‘I’m different.’
That’s what I thought as I observed the other children.
They struggled just to maintain the breathing technique. Some gave up and left.
But unlike those brainless kids, I excelled in every way.
Ojo was astonished by how easily I absorbed mana and how effortlessly I kept up with his theoretical lessons.
On the day I turned thirteen, it happened.
The day began as usual.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I sat down to practice the technique.
It was something I always did before breakfast.
But then, something began stirring in my chest.
Without warning, pain struck, and I collapsed to the ground, clutching my chest.
It was a seed! Somehow, without my noticing, a seed had formed within the foundation I’d built through breathing practice.
I couldn’t even breathe properly due to the pain.
The nanny, alarmed by my state, ran out to call for help.
Ojo came in, placing his hand on my chest and channeling mana into me.
The seed, startled by the foreign mana, began vibrating even more violently.
The pain was so overwhelming that I couldn’t breathe.
“It’s trying to root itself. Focus. No matter how hard it is, you can’t lose consciousness. Steady your breathing and gather your mana.”
Ojo’s firm words brought me back to my senses.
I recalled how I had breathed when I first started. ‘How did I breathe back then? How did I draw breath?’
Despite being unable to breathe, I puffed out my chest as if I were inhaling.
Air seemed to rush into my chest, clearing my head a little.
I kept breathing, ignoring the pain.
Eventually, the seed stopped vibrating.
Then came the moment I’d never forget until the day I died.
The hardened seed began absorbing mana endlessly.
Its form grew larger and larger, draining the foundation I’d built to the point of exhaustion.
The seed throbbed as if it were alive.
It felt like I had an additional heart beating within me.
***
Cracks began to appear on the seed.
The pain was excruciating, as if my organs were being split apart.
Through those cracks, mana began to flow out.
The amount of mana grew steadily until the seed split completely in two.
In that moment, it felt as though I, too, had been torn in half.
The nanny later told me that I had actually died.
She said I had vomited blood and stopped breathing.
However, at that moment, I felt more alive than ever.
My spirit, having left my body, lingered in my chest.
As the seed split apart, the immense mana contained within it burst forth.
I regulated my breathing amidst the torrent.
The mana followed my breath, seeping into the foundation I had built.
The mana, piercing through the already half-crumbled foundation, hardened into what could be described as roots.
The shock coursed through my body, causing blood to spurt from my mouth.
As the two halves of myself reunited, pain returned to my once purely spiritual existence. ‘So this is what it means to root oneself.’
The searing pain made my mind hazy.
I was half-conscious, yet Ojo continued speaking by my side.
His words, like a passing breeze, failed to linger but managed to faintly awaken me.
I realized I needed to root myself.
Acting almost instinctively, I began to grow roots.
The roots started to consume the foundation entirely.
The mana I had accumulated over six years seemed far too little for the seed.
The foundation collapsed completely, and the seed writhed violently. ‘Breathing—breathing is the only thing I can rely on.’
I absorbed external mana and channeled it directly to the seed.
Yet, it wasn’t enough to satisfy the seed.
It began stealing my very breath, using me as a conduit.
Not just my nose and mouth, but my entire body began to breathe.
Mana seeped into me from every pore.
After absorbing mana to its limit, the seed started expelling it into the air, breaking free from the foundation.
The mana solidified rapidly, forming a thin line.
The line grew thicker as the mana accumulated.
When the line was thick enough to be called a stem, a few leaves began to sprout.
At that moment, the seed began to consume mana and even my life force more aggressively, pulling it all into my chest.
My whole body burned.
The sound of bones cracking and muscles tearing echoed within me.
“Stay calm, always. Slowly, forget the pain in your body. Just recall everything you’ve learned so far.”
Ojo’s voice reached me.
The Rooting Technique—the simple breathing method that collects nourishment and helps establish roots.
What I knew before was shallow knowledge at best.
The true technique involved absorbing mana through the entire body.
I used my breath to guide the roots deeper and wider.
First, I had to revive my body.
The roots extended straight to replace the drained life force.
My withering body began to regain vitality as it met the roots.
Additionally, the roots, now directly connected to the outside, started pulling in mana vigorously.
Following the guidance of the technique, the roots gradually transformed my body into something akin to a tree.
During this process, the seed slowly reduced its absorption.
Finally, the leaves were complete.
Soon, all the pain vanished, replaced by a refreshing sensation as if I had been reborn.
Though my mind was utterly exhausted, my body felt as though it could soar into the sky.
When I opened my eyes, the nanny was looking at me with a worried expression.
Ojo stood next to her, arms crossed.
I smiled weakly, and Ojo nodded.
Every sense felt sharper than ever.
It felt as though I could perceive the room even with my eyes closed.
“I didn’t expect the seed to react so violently. You’ve got more talent than the others in the clan.”
“Do… others become wizards like this?”
Ojo nodded. ‘So this is what it means to be a wizard.’ I had nearly died. And that pain…
“Becoming a wizard means ascending beyond the limits of being human. It often leads to death. If I hadn’t been here, you would have died.”
He was right.
If Ojo hadn’t kept bringing me back to my senses, I wouldn’t have survived long enough to sprout the seed.
I bowed deeply in gratitude, but Ojo waved me off.
“You’ll face even greater pain in the future. Ascending as a wizard means transforming into an entirely different being.”
Greater pain than this? I couldn’t even begin to imagine it.
“For today, observe your body calmly. Deepen your roots. Rebuild your foundation. Bind the foundation tightly with the roots. If the foundation is unstable, magic cannot reach its full potential.”
Following his advice, I focused on the peculiar sensations within my body. It felt as though a completely new organ had formed.
Or perhaps I had shed my old body and replaced it with a new one.
Ojo soon left, and the nanny helped me lie back on the bed.
I signaled her to leave with a glance.
If she stayed, we’d both end up worrying about each other.
I closed my eyes and focused entirely on my body.
I could feel the deeply embedded roots and the mana flowing through them.
Unlike the mana in the surroundings, this mana felt like a natural extension of myself—like my arms or legs.
I cautiously extended the mana outward and moved it around.
I lifted a cup of water into the air, levitating it.
The movements felt so natural, as if I had always used this power.
Though I played around with the mana, I soon had to stop.
The mana stored within the roots was nearly depleted.
The roots, irritated, began drawing in more mana from the surroundings. ‘Hmm, just as Ojo said, I should hold back.’ Today, I decided to focus on stabilizing the seed.
And so, at thirteen, I became a wizard.
It was the brightest moment of my life.