“The team trial begins.”
“Vulgar and disgusting.”
“Despicable and shameless.”
“Sneaky and treacherous.”
“Never pulling your weight.”
“You do nothing but leech and cause trouble.”
“You do every evil deed imaginable just for your own amusement.”
“Every time we fight, you hide in the back and do nothing but toss a few heals around — you’re absolutely useless.”
“And when night falls, you disturb everyone’s rest.”
“Your sexual orientation is questionable.”
“As a priest, you don’t care whether your teammates live or die. Every single one of your heals is a second too slow, leaving all of us battered and bruised.”
“You look down on us just because you’re a count’s daughter.”
“Everyone agrees that we’d progress much better without you.”
“Our final verdict: Samimi, get out of our party.”
…
“Huh? Didn’t we agree we’d stick together forever as teammates?”
The villainess Samimi stared blankly at them all, utterly dumbfounded.
That very evening, she had been invited by her teammates to a private booth in a tavern for a late-night meal, never expecting the closed-door meeting to actually be an ambush.
In reality, she wasn’t even the so-called villainess Samimi — her soul belonged to a broke, exhausted webnovelist who had died in a freak accident after pulling one too many all-nighters.
Could this possibly be that legendary “soul-transmigration into a book” trope?
Because if she wasn’t mistaken, this name, these women, this story — they were all from that wildly popular light fantasy yuri novel Rose Phantasmic Battle, which had been topping the sales charts lately.
In short, it was one of those shallow isekai “cute girls glomping on each other” junk novels packed with all kinds of brainless face-slapping, boasting, and fanservice.
Yet those shallow readers just loved this kind of stuff — how could something so trite top the bestseller lists? Pathetic.
But if you asked me what this “noble author” herself had written?
Well, the environment was rotten to the core.
Clearly, I was just born at the wrong time.
The world simply had no appreciation for my literary genius.
That’s exactly why foolish readers killed me!
If only they had known how to appreciate my dark, soul-crushing masterpieces, I wouldn’t have starved to death with unpaid bills, smashing face-first into the corner of my room in my final miserable moments.
Anyway, enough complaining.
Though I might look down on that Rose Phantasmic Battle in my heart, I had followed it religiously up to the latest chapter and even studied every character and plotline in detail.
And to be perfectly clear — I’m absolutely not a fan of that book.
I was purely reading it from a critical perspective.
Its storyline follows a few groups of “savior teams,” an ensemble story without a clear-cut protagonist — or rather, there are multiple leads.
And if I recall correctly, we’re all part of the story’s starting party: the so-called Hero’s Party.
The White-Haired Witch — Bémore Finn, a snow-haired beauty.
Arrow of Dreams — Clos Joshua, a silver-haired elven beauty.
Pure White Knight — Fabiana Dilmutt, a pale blonde beauty.
Hero of the Gale — Laigaiyas Ludwig, a gray-white-haired beauty.
And then there’s Samimi — facing these four white-haired beauties glaring at her hatefully, she finally recalled her role in the story:
Undead Priest — Samimi Filling.
The only one in the party without light-colored hair — a golden-haired noble girl and priest who often bullied her teammates.
Not only that, she was also a perverted lesbian who loved sneaking up on her female teammates at night to harass and grope them — making them all extremely uncomfortable.
Besides the hero, the other three feared Samimi’s status and reluctantly kept up some kind of unspoken arrangement with her.
Even the hero wasn’t safe — Samimi would often hit on her too.
The harder someone was to obtain, the more Samimi craved it.
But in the book, Samimi was just cannon fodder with hardly any screen time, created purely to highlight the dark side of the hero’s party.
And if I remembered correctly, my character’s later arc involved stubbornly refusing to leave the team — using my noble background to cling on no matter what, making everyone miserable.
During battles? Dead weight who never buffed or healed.
After battles? Useless.
A leech through and through.
On top of that, Samimi had a habit of mocking her teammates under pressure, harassing innocent women in town, stirring up trouble wherever she went, always being late to missions, and sneakily sabotaging the party at every turn — eventually driving the hero’s party to near annihilation.
A perfect embodiment of the word “villainess.”
And my final fate was…