So this is what death feels like?
Lin Xuan felt his consciousness sinking, as if he’d fallen into a frozen ocean.
His whole body had gone numb, and everything ahead of him was a murky gray, like a sheet of ice had formed above the water, sealing him in.
It felt like he was in a vast space, yet somehow as cramped as a tiny box.
Or maybe… it was more like a coffin.
Still, Lin Xuan didn’t really mind.
At least now he knew that death wasn’t just an endless sleep—it was a sleep where you could still dream.
Even loneliness, if it was just his own, seemed like a better ending than the life he had before.
A minute passed.
Then five minutes.
Half an hour.
An hour.
Three hours…
In this place, Lin Xuan gradually lost all sense of time.
He felt tired.
He just wanted to fall into a real sleep.
But after an endless silence, Lin Xuan slowly opened his eyes again.
Unable to fall asleep, a wave of confusion washed over him.
Was it that even after death, peace still wouldn’t come?
Then suddenly, a burning sensation flared across his back—sharp and searing.
His eyes snapped open instantly.
He’d broken free from the frozen sea—or maybe from the coffin.
He still couldn’t see anything.
Everything around him was dark.
But this time, it wasn’t the empty blackness of nothing—it was real darkness.
The kind you could feel, physical and immediate.
Sensation returned to his body.
Lin Xuan was finally free of that coffin-like stillness.
There was an uncomfortable tightness around his neck.
Lin Xuan reached up and felt something cold—an iron chain, connected to a collar fastened around his throat.
Lin Xuan: ?
For a moment, he couldn’t figure out what was happening.
Had he been captured?
But even in a police station, they didn’t put chains around people’s necks… right?
He couldn’t help but try to get up and take a few steps forward—but after only two, he crashed into a metal bar in front of him.
Lin Xuan raised both hands and placed them against it, clearly realizing the situation he was now in.
He was locked inside a cage.
And the cage itself was completely sealed off.
Where… exactly was he now?
“Is everything ready?” a voice called from outside.
Lin Xuan looked up in confusion, just as the cage door was suddenly pulled open.
Light poured in, stinging his eyes after being in darkness for so long.
“Come on out, little one.”
A tug at the chain around his neck pulled him forward, dragging him out of the cage.
“Give him a touch of makeup—not too much. We don’t want to ruin his natural look,” a woman instructed someone nearby.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Lin Xuan glanced at the woman.
Her outfit reminded him of something out of a book—elaborate, ornate, like clothing from the medieval era.
Her pale golden curls fell in waves down her back.
A foreigner?
Dragged like a doll and seated in front of a mirror, Lin Xuan was momentarily stunned.
The room around him glittered with gold and luxury—but all he could see was the reflection in front of him.
Long silver hair draped over his shoulders.
A delicate, beautiful face.
The features were nearly identical to Lin Xuan’s own.
The only difference… was the right eye.
A sudden stab of pain shot through his head, and Lin Xuan finally became aware of what had happened to his body.
He wasn’t Lin Xuan anymore—he was Roman now.
But Roman didn’t feel unfamiliar.
In fact, he was practically a mirror of himself.
In the mirror, Roman was elegant and refined, with an androgynous beauty.
His hair was a pure, holy silver that cascaded down his back, making him look noble, even divine.
But the most striking feature was his right eye—or rather, the lack of it.
Roman had been born without a right eye.
In its place was a white flower that had grown with him since birth.
Because of that, he’d always been treated like a freak.
Over time, Roman developed the habit of using his long hair to cover the right side of his face, hiding it from others.
From those memories, Lin Xuan realized that Roman’s reasons for suicide mirrored his own in eerie ways.
It wasn’t wrong to say they had walked different paths to the same tragic end.
Roman’s mother had been seriously ill, kept alive only through constant medication.
But they didn’t have the money to sustain it.
So Roman kept borrowing, juggling odd jobs in a desperate effort to pay the debt.
He clung to the naïve hope that one day, the medicine would work and his mother would recover.
But eventually, when he went to give her another dose, what greeted him wasn’t a hopeful smile—but bright, red blood.
As the saying goes, all medicine is part cure, part poison.
Roman’s mother had been frail for years, and medicine has its limits.
After prolonged use, the side effects finally exploded.
That mother who always wore an optimistic smile… in the end, she couldn’t hold on.
Holding Roman’s hand, her heartbeat slowly faded away.
Her final words to Roman before she left were: “I’m sorry…”
People often break in an instant.
The crushing debt didn’t destroy him.
The judgmental stares of others didn’t break him either.
What truly broke him was the complete loss of hope.
He hadn’t paid the debts in time, and he was caught. Fortunately, he had a poison pill hidden in his mouth.
At the very least, in the end, he still had control over his own life and death.
Lin Xuan—or rather, Roman—snapped back to the present, finally understanding where he was.
He’d noticed earlier that there had been sounds coming from outside.
Now, those sounds were growing louder and louder.
“Don’t pout, little one. With a face as pretty as yours, you’d better smile later—make those guests happy…”
The woman beside him stroked his silver hair, her voice filled with layered meaning.
A wave of goosebumps rose over his body.
He hated—absolutely hated—when people touched his hair.
Without a word, he shook off her hand.
The woman clicked her tongue and muttered, “About to become a cheap toy for others to mess with, and still acting all high and mighty—who do you think you’re impressing?”
Roman shot her a cold glare but said nothing.
She narrowed her eyes and suddenly pinched his beautiful face, smiling sweetly as she said, “Half of those nobles are scum dressed in fine clothes.
I’m really curious which one of them will get their hands on you tonight—and crush every last bit of your pride~”