My breathing quickened, and my vision blurred.
A ghost? It must be a ghost. If it’s not a ghost, then how could Hayul… like this…
No. It’s okay. Even if it’s a ghost, it doesn’t matter.
I’ve always, always wished for this. I’ve longed for it over and over again.
Even if it’s a ghost, how could I feel fear seeing my beloved little brother, whom I prayed for every single day?
Not even a sliver of fear crept in. Only overwhelming emotions and worry filled me.
“Ha… Hayul…”
“……..”
“Hayul, why are you out here in the rain like this…?”
“……..”
My throat tightened, making it hard to even call his name.
So instead of saying more, I slowly bent my knees, crouched down, and stretched out my arms.
Just like always. Just like I did every single day.
I tried my best to smile brightly, as if to say, Come to me. Come let your big brother hug you.
Hayul, who had been hesitating nervously, slowly approached and threw himself into my arms.
“Ugh…”
In an instant, a chilling cold spread through me, as if my entire body was freezing.
Goosebumps raced across my skin. It was cold. My body trembled.
Every time I hugged Hayul, except for that last day, his body was always warm. But now, it felt like I was holding a block of ice—so painfully cold.
“Hayul, why is your body so cold? You must be freezing…”
“Mm… cold…?”
Our Hayul. How could he be this cold?
Your big brother will hold you. I’ll hold you tight. I’ll make sure our Hayul isn’t cold.
I don’t know if I said it out loud, but I hugged Hayul with all my strength.
I had always wished, begged, that if I could hold you like this again, I’d do anything.
“Hayul, I missed you.”
“I… too…”
“I really, really missed you, Hayul.”
“Me… too…”
Those small, delicate arms, just like in my memories, wrapped around my neck.
It’s cold. So terribly cold. I don’t want Hayul to notice, but my body keeps trembling.
Splash, splash.
I felt the water lapping against my kneeling legs. Worried that his small frame might fall, I stood up, still holding Hayul.
Hayul seemed like he had something to say. When I waited with a gentle smile, he pointed to a spot and said,
“Hyung, over there…”
“You want to go there?”
“Yeah… there…”
I started walking slowly in the direction Hayul pointed.
The bone-chilling cold made my body shiver with every step.
Each step felt heavier, like a thousand pounds, and my mind grew hazy, but I never let go of Hayul.
It’s okay, Hayul. This time, your brother won’t let go.
No matter how hard, how painful, how agonizing it gets, I won’t let go of you.
I’ll go with you to wherever you want to go.
The water, which had been brushing against my ankles, now grazed my calves, then my knees, and soon my thighs.
I kept walking, holding Hayul, toward the place he wanted to go.
The rushing current made my body sway, nearly knocking me over several times, but I didn’t let go of Hayul.
“Hyung, listen… over there… we need to go there.”
“There?”
It looks deep. This isn’t just a swollen stream—it’s more like a raging torrent.
For a moment, I hesitated. But then Hayul’s body stiffened, and he started to whimper in an anxious voice.
“Hyung… hurry…”
“Okay, okay, Hayul. Let’s go.”
If Hayul says to go, we go. If he says no, we don’t. Why am I hesitating?
Stupid Lee Haje.
Have you forgotten what happened that day because you hesitated like this?
You idiot, fool, moron, dimwit.
Even after learning such a painful lesson, you’re still hesitating?
“Sorry, I’m sorry, Hayul. Let’s go.”
An aching longing, so intense it stung my eyes, overflowed within me.
I was sobbing, gasping for breath.
Who? Who’s crying like this?
It’s obviously me, but I don’t know.
Right now, all I can think about is going with Hayul.
With my beloved little brother…
“Hyung!!!”
My brother…
“Hyung—!! Stop!!”
My beloved…
Whoosh—!!
“…..!!”
In an instant, a sharp gust—or rather, an incomprehensible shout—pierced my ears.
The moment I registered it, a powerful force grabbed my hair and yanked me back roughly.
That wasn’t all. Hands came from nowhere, seizing my arms, gripping my neck as if to choke me.
“Gah!”
It felt like my scalp was being torn off, snapping me back to reality.
My hair! I’m going to go bald!
I can’t breathe! Stop choking me!
My vision caught a glimpse of wet, dark brown fur. It seemed like it was Gamja’s arm strangling my neck.
“Guh, cough!”
Gamja! I’m going to suffocate!
I wanted to shout, but all that came out was the sound of water spewing from my mouth.
Water? Why am I spitting out water?
I don’t think I went in deep enough to swallow water…
“Lee Haje! Snap out of it!”
Huh? Kang Dohee?
What? I’m fine, I’m awake.
As I tried to say that—
Slap!!
Kang Dohee suddenly smacked my cheek.
Ouch…?
“What? Why’d you hit me? This guy’s lost it. Wanna get hit a few more times? It’s the best cure for losing your mind.”
As Kang Dohee raised his hand again, I instinctively felt my life was in danger and yelped,
“Hey! Hey!! Why are you hitting me?!”
“You back to your senses?”
“……..”
Back to my senses? From the moment you slapped me—no, from the moment you yanked my hair—no, from the moment Gamja choked me…
“…….”
Huh?
I blinked hard, but my vision was still blurry.
Rain was pouring down, hitting my face. That meant I was lying down, looking at the sky.
Why am I lying down?
“Guh! Gurgle!”
Gamja’s head suddenly popped into my field of vision.
“Hyung! Are you okay!? Did you swallow a lot of water!? Can you see my face!?”
Then, I saw Hayul, noticeably grown up, standing beside him.
And next to him, though blurry and hard to make out, was Joo Biyoung, looking down at me with worried eyes.
“……….”
What’s going on?
Wait, hold on. Then—
“Hayul! Where’s Hayul!?”
“Hyung, I’m right here! Snap out of it!”
“No, just now, just a second ago, you—five-year-old Hayul—was right there…”
As I sat up and mumbled, staring at the spot where the rushing water surged, a sharp hand struck my back again.
“Ow! Why are you hitting me!?”
“I didn’t hit you.”
“Huh?”
Then who did?
Slap!
“Ow! Ouch! That hurts!”
“Hyung, seriously! Are you crazy!?”
Slap!
“Argh!”
“Are you insane!? Do you even know where you are!?”
Slap!
“Ugh, Hayul! Wait, just hold on!”
“It’s pouring rain like this!”
Slap!
“Ow! Okay, okay! Let’s talk! Talk it out, Hayul!”
“You’ve been telling me since forever—when it’s raining, don’t go near standing water! The manhole cover might be open! Don’t even go near shallow puddles! You nagged me over and over about that!”
Slap! Slap! Thud! Thud-thud!
“Guh! Ugh!”
“That’s not just a stream—it’s practically the Han River! Are you crazy!? Were you trying to swim? Or planning to drown!?”
Slap! Slap!
The more Hayul hit me, the clearer my mind became.
Yeah, now that I think about it, was I actually about to drown? For real?
My body was still trembling, my teeth chattering, and my back stung like crazy from the hits, but strangely, I felt… refreshed.
“Ugh, seriously! Let’s get back home!”
“……..”
Still fuming, Hayul grabbed me roughly and yanked me up, shouting.
But as I stood with his support, I collapsed again.
My body was shaking too much. It was cold. My heart felt like it was freezing. Why was it so cold?
The rain felt impossibly icy—not just cold, but like someone was pouring freezing water over me, or stabbing me with icicles.
Honestly, it felt like jumping into the water might’ve been warmer…
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Joo Biyoung’s voice cut through.
“Haje. Snap out of it. You’re still under its spell.”
Spell?
“Explain later. For now, even if it’s cold, stay in the rain a bit longer. You need to wash it off.”
I had no idea what she meant. Wash what off? Am I dirty or something? But I didn’t get a chance to ask Joo Biyoung.
“Gamja, lie down.”
“Guh!”
Confused by what she meant, I watched as Gamja, who usually walked on two legs, flopped down flat beside me.
“Dojin-ah. Unnie. Put him on Gamja.”
Kang Dohee and Kang Dojin, who’d been quiet until now, grabbed my arms and hoisted me onto Gamja’s back like a sack of luggage.
“Guh!”
“Guhh!”
With me slung over its back, Gamja stood up and started walking on all fours.
Wait, Gamja can walk on all fours?
As I lay sprawled like wet laundry on Gamja’s broad back, heading toward home, I realized the ride was surprisingly… comfortable.
The closer we got to the house, the clearer my mind became.
And with that clarity came a realization:
‘I’m screwed…’
I wasn’t sure exactly what was screwed, but I was certain of it.
I was utterly screwed.
★★★
Shiver, shiver, shiver.
My body trembled.
It was cold. Freezing, like I might die.
It wasn’t even that cold outside, but it felt like my breath should be visible.
Of course, it wasn’t.
And now, here I was, still in just my pants, standing in the yard getting soaked by the rain.
I wished Gamja would come cuddle me, but having finished its job, Gamja shook itself off vigorously and went inside. Now it was sitting near the open front door, watching me.
I wanted to go inside, but the intense stares from Joo Biyoung and Kang Dohee, standing in front of Gamja, made it impossible to even ask.
“N-nuna… how long do I have to stay like this?”
“Just a bit longer.”
I asked as pitifully as I could, but Joo Biyoung’s gaze remained calm.
Clearly, my pleading didn’t have the same effect as Hayul’s.
What was I supposed to be washing off? Why did I have to stand in the rain? She didn’t explain, but I had no choice but to listen.
Kang Dojin and Hayul, now in dry clothes, joined the others in watching me.
“………”
I felt lonely.
Everyone else was inside, and here I was, alone in the yard, looking ridiculous, humiliated, and cold.
You’d think someone would take pity on a guy in such a pathetic state, but no one showed any mercy.
The only one who seemed to care was Bamtol.
Bamtol kept whimpering sadly toward me, trying to come out into the yard, but Gamja held it tightly in its arms.
Seeing that tiny, adorable pup struggling with its little paws broke my heart.
Couldn’t they let me in now? I mean, that poor little baby was suffering, and I was freezing.
Just as I was thinking I couldn’t get any colder, Joo Biyoung gestured for me to come inside.
I scrambled in, only to be swarmed by towels thrown at me by Hayul and Kang Dojin.
They roughly scrubbed me down, and after changing into dry clothes in the room they dragged me to, guilt started to creep in.
How many people got soaked because of me…?
‘Guess I’ll have to volunteer for laundry duty.’
Scratch, scratch. Rub, rub. Scratch, scratch. Rub-rub-rub.
Hearing something scratching at the door, I opened it, and a furry bundle darted in, climbing up my legs.
“Kyying!”
“Oh, Bamtol! My sweet Bamtol, you’re so warm. Are you here to cuddle with hyung?”
Holding the toasty Bamtol warmed my body.
But then—
Smack! Slap! Slap-slap! Smack!
“Ow, ouch!”
Those tiny, adorable paws started mercilessly smacking my cheeks.