Staring at the rain pouring down, no longer at the level of a shower but almost like a waterfall, we were sitting in front of the rooftop door on the second floor.
With the door open, watching the rain fall, we’d been sitting there idly for several minutes already.
Dojin Kang didn’t say a word, just gazing out at the rain beyond the door.
Maybe because we kept sitting there quietly, it felt like my worries were being washed away by the rain, just a little. Of course, only a tiny bit.
A few more minutes passed.
As I stared blankly outside, I felt Dojin Kang’s gaze shift toward me and turned my head.
“Spit it out already.”
“What? Weren’t you the one who called me here to talk?”
“I’ll listen to what you have to say first. What’s bothering you?”
“………”
Ugh, this is embarrassing. Hearing that from a kid made it even more embarrassing.
Of course, this body is young too—20 years old. Still, even just counting physical age, I’m three years older than him…
I must be pathetic, letting my emotions get so messy that I’m making a kid worry. But before I could wallow in self-pity, Dojin spoke again.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone else. What’s the problem?”
“……….”
“I really won’t tell.”
“……….”
“I won’t even tell my sister.”
‘Ugh.’
The more he said that, the more embarrassed I felt.
On top of that, Bamtol started tapping my cheek as if urging me to talk, even giving me a little kiss with its damp nose. So adorable, I could die. It made me feel a bit more at ease.
In the end, despite being a grown adult, I started spilling my worries to Dojin Kang, who’s officially 17 years old.
Honestly, by my standards, this was pretty pathetic, but the vibe was such that if I didn’t talk, he wouldn’t let it go either…
As I tried to be honest, I hesitated for a moment, wondering if he even knew what his sister, Dohee Kang, had done. But as if he’d already anticipated it, he shrugged and said,
“My sister told me everything. What you and she did that night. What she did alone at dawn. I know it all, so just spill it.”
“………”
She told a kid all that?
Of course, I’d suspected those two weren’t exactly ordinary people, but that was just my speculation.
There was still a part of me that thought he might just be a mature 17-year-old, so it made me a bit uncomfortable.
Seeing him act so unbothered made me feel like I still had a long way to go.
In the end, after pouring out all my worries—both recent and long-held—it didn’t feel refreshing. It just made me more embarrassed.
Dojin, who had been listening quietly, stared at me in silence for a moment before speaking in his usual indifferent tone.
“So, what you’re saying is, you want to be able to do ruthless things with your own hands and not feel anything about it. Because otherwise, you’re just a weak human, right?”
“……..”
That wasn’t exactly it, but when you boil down my worries, it’s not entirely wrong either, so I couldn’t really explain myself.
It’s not that I disagreed, but it wasn’t quite right either—the nuance was off. But I didn’t know how to bridge that gap, so I just sat there listening. Dojin, sounding exasperated, continued.
“Seriously, hyung. What’s so enviable about that? Not feeling anything after killing something isn’t strong or cool—it’s just being a psychopath.”
“……….”
‘Wait, is he calling his sister a psychopath…?’
“For starters, you’re misunderstanding something. Me and my sister, from way back—ugh!”
“…!!”
“Ugh, damn it, cough!”
“Dojin! Are you okay!?”
Dojin, who was about to say something, suddenly stopped as if he’d bitten his tongue, covering his mouth.
It looked like he was trying to hold back vomit, but his expression showed pain. Panicked, I set Bamtol down and approached to check on him, but he waved me off with one hand while covering his mouth with the other.
“Ha… phew. Damn it, I can’t even talk properly.”
“Are you okay? Sh-should I get water?”
I was about to pull water from my inventory, forgetting to grab some barley tea, but Dojin stopped me.
Then, he hit his chest a few times, as if trying to calm himself down.
From his muttering and actions, I could tell for sure. Just as I’d suspected that first day in the container, it was the symptom called “restraint.”
As I looked at him worriedly, Dojin, having pulled himself together, spoke in an irritated tone.
“Anyway… what I’m saying is, neither my sister nor I are the kind of people who don’t care about what we do.”
“………..”
“Just think of us as being a bit desensitized. When we handle things ruthlessly, it’s just because we think it’s better to end things quickly rather than prolong the pain.”
“…………”
“And you don’t have to become like that. It’s not cool or impressive. It’s just losing a bit of your humanity, that’s all.”
“………..”
Even though he spoke calmly, every word seemed to carry pain. All the time Dojin must have gone through was woven into his words.
Perhaps sensing it, Bamtol climbed onto Dojin’s lap, acting cute for no reason. Dojin mechanically petted Bamtol’s belly and continued.
“What I’m trying to say is, you don’t need to become that kind of person.”
“………”
“You’re fine as you are. Well, maybe cut back a bit on the overthinking habit.”
“………”
Hearing that, I couldn’t help but feel relieved, even if I didn’t want to show it. How cowardly, to find comfort in that.
I could feel my ears burning with shame. Unfortunately, Dojin didn’t let my state slide either.
“Keeping your humanity is actually the harder thing, so don’t overcomplicate it. On the flip side, if Hayul was worrying about this, what would you say to him?”
“…!!”
“If Hayul said he wanted to be like my sister, that he was suffering because he couldn’t, that he’d always be like this—what would you tell him?”
“……..”
“You get it, right? Any decent person would feel the same. Me, my sister—we’re no different. Wanting others to lose what you’ve lost, to struggle like you’ve struggled—that’s the kind of thinking selfish, inadequate people have.”
“………”
“Whether it’s you or him, it doesn’t matter if you stay as you are, so don’t worry about it. We’re not going to abandon you or anything.”
Ouch.
That conversation I had with Dohee Kang… Did he hear it?
As I awkwardly glanced at him, Dojin Kang let out a small laugh and gave Bamtol’s butt a gentle pat, nudging it away.
Having had enough of Dojin’s attention, Bamtol hopped off his lap and waddled over to me, snuggling close.
“There are no secrets between me and my sister. We’ve shared too much for that.”
“………..”
‘Hey, even in front of me, can’t you talk a bit more like a kid? Be a little kid-like.’
“This conversation we’re having right now is the first secret I’ve kept from her.”
“…………”
Good lord, the first secret he’s keeping is listening to a grown adult’s worries? My throat felt like it was burning.
I gave an awkward smile, focusing on readjusting Bamtol in my arms, trying to distract myself.
‘So embarrassing.’
Then, out of nowhere, Dojin said something unexpected.
“You’re kind of fascinating, hyung. You don’t pry annoyingly like other people do.”
“………..”
“Even when you clearly don’t understand something, you act like you do. It’s interesting. It’s convenient, though, since I don’t have to force myself to explain our situation.”
What was that? What was he trying to say? Trying not to let my unease show, I forced a smile and replied,
“Just… that’s how I am. I don’t like digging too deep because it feels burdensome to me. And if someone’s ready to share their situation, they’ll tell me… That’s why I don’t ask.”
Was that enough to address how I’ve been trying to understand their situation? I cautiously looked up at Dojin, and saw his lips curve into a pleasant arc.
‘What the—? So he’s human after all. He knows how to smile.’
Man, he looks way more handsome when he smiles.
“Anyway, I just wish you’d worry less. Everything else will work itself out somehow. And even if it doesn’t, I’ll drag you along by the collar if I have to, so just follow.”
“Can’t you drag me without grabbing my collar?”
“I’ll try.”
Though he said that and his smile faded, his eyes somehow seemed softer than before. Maybe this conversation had made us open up to each other a little more. I hoped so.
“Kyuuu!”
At that moment, Bamtol let out a cute little cry and patted both my cheeks with its front paws. Then, it clenched its tiny fists and struck a fighting pose.
It felt like encouragement, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Bamtol, are you cheering me on right now?”
“Kyang!”
“Good Bamtol, so sweet. Aww, you’re such a good one.”
“Kyaaang~!”
Maybe it was happy with my praise, because Bamtol suddenly wrapped its arms around my neck, clinging to me like a cicada on an old tree.
Whether it was Bamtol’s warm body heat or its adorable touch, my stray thoughts melted away.
Come to think of it, like Dojin said, I’ve been stressing myself out over worries that won’t solve anything, even though I was aware of it…
It’s probably because I’ve been mentally anxious, but I’ll have to try not to do that little by little.
‘It’s okay. I’ll survive somehow.’
There’s nothing to be anxious about right now. It’ll be fine.
And like Dohee said, and Dojin too, if things go south, they’ll drag me along by the collar. They won’t abandon me. Even if it’s just words, it felt reassuring.
Thinking about it, even if you’re not the protagonist or a major supporting character, in worlds like this, there are always nameless survivors in the background.
In novels, movies, dramas—any story with a crumbling world—there are always nameless survivors.
So, if I can just survive somehow and make it back with Hayul and everyone else, that’s enough.
‘It feels a bit relieving.’
My mind felt much lighter than before.
Of course, during our conversation, I occasionally heard something like a tyrannosaurus roar from far away, but it was quickly drowned out by the heavy rain.
Listening to the sound of the rain was nice, and though it was a bit chilly, the cool air and moderate humidity were quite satisfying.
In the end, even in an environment like this, I started to feel an unfounded confidence that I could adapt and survive somehow.
As if he’d noticed this shift in my mood, Dojin stood up first, brushing himself off, and said,
“But you and Hayul should probably learn some basic physical skills.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.”
“Yep. So, once you’ve rested up and fully recovered, let’s train with me and my sister.”
“W-Wait, can we train indoors?”
“If we clear out the laundry, we can do it right here.”
“………”
“Your stiff-as-a-board body? I’ll take responsibility and make it functional.”
“……….”
It sounds like he’s planning to put me through the wringer, but I can’t escape this.
And so, starting tomorrow, indoor training was set, with the grand first lesson being bodyweight self-defense.
I’m a little scared. No, I’m terrified.
Dojin looks way too excited right now, which makes it even scarier.