Chapter 41:This shameless guy really wants to test her acting skills (2/2)

Wearing a newly delivered lake-green Manchu gown, Fang He returned to the imperial presence ‘completely unaware.’

Liang Jiugong and Li Dequan were both waiting outside. 

Only Kangxi was in the room. What was about to happen was obvious.

As soon as Fang He entered, she pleaded for Chunlai’s punishment with a guilty expression.

“During these days of travel, this servant hasn’t bathed properly. In a moment of greed, I had someone pick roses from the traveling palace for my bath. Please punish me, Your Majesty.”

She looked up shyly, smiling obediently, “Chunlai is very strong. She scrubbed several layers of dirt off me. I was truly afraid of offending Your Majesty with any odor.”

Kangxi: “…” 

‘There’s really no need to describe the process in such detail.’

He reached out his hand, amused. 

“Come here. Let Zhen see if you still smell.”

Fang He hesitated for a moment, then stood up and slowly approached, lifting her fair, slender hand to place in Kangxi’s. She asked bluntly—

“Does Your Majesty intend to favor this servant tonight?”

Kangxi naturally pulled Fang He to sit with him on the soft couch, smiling

At this moment, she was clenching her small hands, blinking her deer-like eyes that were distinctly black and white, conveying curiosity and anxiety with a watery gaze.

“I, your servant… am not, not afraid of pain. I’m just worried, if you carry a sharp weapon, might you hurt yourself?”

Emperor Kangxi was both amused and a bit irritated. 

What then, could he just leave it in the palace?

He swiftly grasped Fang He’s deliberately coquettish little hand, his jaw tightening before he managed to speak in a gently hoarse voice to coax her.

“I will not hurt myself, and I certainly will not hurt you. Haven’t you heard that the union between man and woman is a natural human affair, common throughout the world? I will only……make you happy.”

Fang He thought, ‘Oh, give me a break. This is really taking everyone else’s Oscar trophies and counting them as your own, with zero self-awareness.’

As a well-educated girl from a later era, she knew maintaining a healthy and stable sex life was a good thing. She wasn’t actually that hung up on the act itself.

Having come this far, if stubbornly resisting would cost her life, she had no right to be picky about sharing the ‘cucumber’.

So, regardless of whether she stayed in the palace or not, she was prepared for something to happen.

But Kangxi absolutely could not have his current level of skill. Life was hard enough; she wouldn’t subject herself to unnecessary suffering.

She pouted unhappily and struggled twice, “This servant believes Your Majesty’s words. Please let go of me. The head maid taught me that I must please you, and must not trouble Your Majesty to exert yourself.”

The feigned innocence on Fang He’s face, coupled with her exceptionally bold actions, was like water hitting hot oil, exploding within Kangxi’s body and transforming into a strange excitement that clamored inside him.

All his muscles involuntarily tensed. He subconsciously squeezed Fang He’s small hand tightly before finally letting go.

But his voice was already hoarse beyond recognition, “Come then, I’m waiting.”

Maintaining the curiosity and caution appropriate for her act of playing dumb, Fang He released her grip under Kangxi’s scorching, profound gaze, lifted the hem of his robe, and squatted down completely.

Kangxi was slightly taken aback. 

He normally wouldn’t do such things, but his body clearly disagreed, reflecting a pain Kangxi had almost never felt before.

Huh?!

While Kangxi was still dazed, Fang He used all her might and yanked down Kangxi’s inner trousers, then stood up triumphantly.

Kangxi: “…..”

The heat in his heart was almost suppressed by shock.

He had never treated a woman so roughly. 

This wretch was clearly not as he had imagined… 

She was more like a bandit.

Yet Fang He’s expression was as innocent as a sprite that had just popped out of the flower bushes, placing the bright yellow inner trousers on the screen.

She even thoughtfully and cheerfully explained to Kangxi, “In the booklet the head maid gave me, the men weren’t wearing trousers.”

“Alright, Your Majesty, let’s go outside. The head maid taught me many other things too.”

Kangxi: “…..”

“…Can’t we stay in the room?” If he walked out like this, he might as well never show his face again!

Fang He shook her head, wearing an expression of genuine curiosity. “There’s the rockery, by the window, on the soft couch, in front of the writing desk…”

“No wonder you sound so tired when you summon consorts. It turns out it’s all physical labor.”

Kangxi: “…………” He really wanted to know exactly what Head Maid Li had taught her.

He even began to suspect, ‘No wonder the palace women who served before were always so stiff. Those instructional booklets… were they proper booklets?’

Fang He watched Kangxi, noticing the speechlessness on his face. 

She was laughing hysterically inside, but her expression mirrored Liang Jiugong’s heartache perfectly.

“This servant’s stamina isn’t very good. I’m afraid I won’t be able to last long. I fear it will have to trouble Your Majesty. I’ll try my best to…” She looked both troubled and embarrassed, lowering her head and scuffing her toes.

“Enough.” Kangxi sat up, cutting Fang He off.

He thought about that scene and, without even looking down, realized the ‘sword drawn and bow bent’ situation under his dragon robe had subsided. He also lost any desire to teach Fang He anything.

Kangxi half-lowered his eyes, scrutinizing Fang He impassively, somewhat suspecting this wretch was deliberately ruining his mood. 

After all, Head Maid Li was usually quite reliable.

Soon, he actually detected eagerness and hesitation on Fang He’s face.

Did she want to try crying out loud outside, or was she about to say what other skills she had learned?

“You… withdraw for now. You are not needed to serve tonight,” Kangxi said calmly.

With the skills she had learned so far, if she really made a commotion, he couldn’t afford the embarrassment either.

As emperor, remaining composed was essential, but Kangxi felt… he needed to calm down first and teach her slowly later.

Fang He smacked her lips with considerable regret, ‘That’s it? He’s done already? I haven’t even shown the skills for inside the bed curtains yet.’

Afraid that leaving too readily would ruin her efforts, she wanted to say something more when suddenly, hurried footsteps sounded outside the door.

“Your Majesty… the scouts dispatched by Lord Lang Tan request an audience!”

All of Kangxi’s mixed emotions of amusement and exasperation vanished instantly. He stood up immediately.

“Change of clothes!”

Fang He finally breathed a complete sigh of relief inside and hurriedly put the silk trousers she had just pulled down back on him.

There was no other way; Fang He didn’t know where the new trousers were.

But while bending down to help Kangxi tie the waistband, she accidentally caught a glimpse of the thing she had been struggling with but hadn’t seen earlier.

A gasp caught in Fang He’s throat, ‘This damn specification is clearly exceeding the standard! No wonder the consorts’ faces are pale after serving the night. They must have been beaten up pretty badly!’

She had been a bit anxious earlier because, in her previous life with the information explosion, adults knew too much. 

She had never acted this stupid in front of a boyfriend, so she was always worried about overdoing the act.

But now, she didn’t regret her actions in the slightest. 

With this size, if he just charged in… she’d be willing to be a fool for life!

Once everything was ready, Kangxi strode out the door and headed to the study.

The scout had galloped here covered in blood, as if clinging to his last breath.

“Reporting to Your Majesty, General Dong’e and Vice General Lang, leading the main army, had not yet reached Yaksa when they heard the Khalkha Mongol tribes were subjected to a surprise attack by the Western Mongol tribes.”

“The Hereditary Prince of Korchin took five hundred men to provide emergency aid. Inside Yaksa city, there are only the old, weak, sick, and disabled. The other Russian soldiers are nowhere to be seen. Clearly, they received advance warning!”

Kangxi’s face was as dark as water. It was obvious there was a traitor within the army, most likely among the five hundred soldiers from Beimeng.

But most of these soldiers came from Monan and Mobei tribes. 

How could they be connected to Moxi?

Moxi… it was probably Gualdan stirring up trouble.

Since the seventeenth year of Kangxi’s reign, Jungar had subjugated over a dozen Moxi tribes, growing strong and increasingly disobedient to Great Qing’s authority.

He had anticipated this day, but hadn’t expected Gualdan to be so impatient.

He immediately ordered Liang Jiugong, “Summon Suo’etu and Alan Tai. Tell Li Dequan to pack. We depart tonight for the Hala Hala River and sail north!”

Alan Tai was the Minister of War. For this trip, he was responsible for leading three thousand Imperial Guards and one thousand Luan Yi Guards to protect the emperor’s safety.

Liang Jiugong was shocked. “Your Majesty, that won’t do!”

The Hala Hala River traversed part of Khalkha Mongolia and Monan. Sailing north would definitely pass through the area where Moxi was causing trouble.

But Liang Jiugong couldn’t stop Kangxi’s insistence and could only summon Suo’etu and Alan Tai.

Both men also tried to dissuade Kangxi.

“Your Majesty, please reconsider. Pengchun is experienced. Since the Russian soldiers aren’t in Yaksa, they must be lying in ambush nearby. They wouldn’t abandon their families in the city and flee. He can handle it,” Suo’etu pleaded earnestly.

He thought more deeply. 

The Crown Prince was only thirteen and hadn’t even begun his formal studies outside the palace yet.

If anything happened to the Emperor, the court would surely fall into chaos, especially with the eldest prince and Nalan Mingzhu—who knows what trouble they might stir up.

Alan Tai also said, “Your Majesty’s person is invaluable. How can you risk it yourself? I am willing to lead troops personally!”

Kangxi ignored their objections. He took out the northern defense map and pointed to a triple bend in the upper reaches of the Hala Hala River.

“I recall this is the closest point to Yaksa. The surrounding area is lush, dense forest, good for hiding people, and there are swamps, convenient for setting traps.”

“Pengchun and Langtan are both more skilled at fighting on flat land. Pengchun has a quick temper, and Langtan is not good with water. If Langtan holds the rear, Pengchun might very well fall for the enemy’s schemes.”

“Most of the three thousand soldiers Pengchun leads cannot swim. If they fall into a trap, even without major casualties, morale will definitely be affected. We cannot let Moxi and the Russians lead us by the nose.”

Suo’etu, like Pengchun, favored bold, straightforward attacks in offense.

If Nalan Mingzhu were here, Kangxi would feel at ease sending him.

After a moment’s thought, Kangxi directly ordered, “Convey my edict: Suo’etu will lead two thousand Imperial Guards and the Luan Yi Guard to protect the Crown Prince and the Empress Dowager according to the original plan to Rehe. Alan Tai will take one thousand men and depart with me tonight.”

“With Pengchun’s temperament, he won’t sit idle. He’ll definitely follow the trail and pursue the Russians. From their location to the middle reaches of the Hala Hala River, even with a forced march, it will take at least a day and two nights.”

There was no time to delay, and he had no time to explain further to Suo’etu.

He only instructed, “After memorials arrive, place the less important ones in the Imperial Palanquin. You, along with Xu Yuanmeng from the Ministry of Rites and Chang Shu from the Ministry of Revenue, will jointly draft responses for the Crown Prince to approve with his vermillion brush. Hold all other memorials until I return.”

“Try not to let anyone discover I am not in the Imperial Palanquin. Have the imperial physicians pay extra attention to the Empress Dowager.”

While Suo’etu knelt to receive the decree, Kangxi strode out.

Liang Jiugong and Li Dequan, looking as if they were attending a funeral, had prepared an inconspicuous gray-canopied carriage parked at the side door of the main hall.

As soon as Kangxi boarded the carriage, he saw Fang He.

He frowned tightly. “Who told you to come?”

At this moment, Fang He really wanted to get Liang Jiugong in trouble. That damned eunuch, probably terrified his master would have a hard time outside, had hastily shoved a pouch at her, then had Chunlai stuff her into the carriage.

She had just discovered, to her shock, that Chunlai knew martial arts!

This girl lifting her was no harder than lifting a chick. ‘Could she be a female Shadow Guard? What have I done to deserve this?!’

But thinking of the another five hundred taels she had just unpacked, she swallowed her complaints and expressed just the right amount of loyalty.

“Although this servant’s skills in serving the bed are still lacking, I have no problem attending to Your Majesty’s daily needs.”

“Liang Anda also thinks this servant is attentive. If I accompany you, at least I can ensure Your Majesty eats a few more bites of food.”

Traveling hastily, the food certainly wouldn’t be as palatable as the imperial kitchen’s.

But she enjoyed bone broth and guokui just fine. 

Perhaps Liang Jiugong sent her along because she was a good ‘food streamer’.

Learning that Chunlai knew martial arts and was following behind the carriage to handle miscellaneous tasks, she felt almost no fear about heading towards a battlefield.

Kangxi looked at her steadily,  ‘Just ‘lacking a bit’?’

He wasn’t in the mood to say more now. He sat down beside her and knocked on the carriage.

The carriage soon left the traveling palace, bumping along the road, getting farther and farther from the imperial procession.

It was long past Fang He’s usual bedtime. 

She struggled to stay awake for a while, her eyelids fighting a losing battle. 

Unable to hold on, she fell asleep at some point without realizing it.

Kangxi was deep in thought about what to do upon reaching the Hala Hala River when he suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder, then on his arm.

He looked down and laughed in exasperation.

Once this girl fell asleep, she had no sense of propriety whatsoever, no matter where she was. He wondered what exactly the Imperial Household Department had taught her.

Perhaps finding his shoulder too hard, she wrapped both arms around his, dissatisfied, and rubbed against it for a long time without finding a comfortable spot.

Her body unconsciously leaned further and further until she ended up sprawled across his lap.

If Kangxi hadn’t blocked with his arm, her head might have ended up in his lap.

He sat her upright, took a felt blanket from a nearby drawer to drape over her, and cushioned her head before she finally settled down.

When Fang He woke up again, she was sitting on the carriage floor, having slept slumped over the spot where Kangxi had been sitting, her back and waist aching.

Fang He: “….”

‘I wonder if the emperor farts! Wants to eat me, but won’t even let me lean on him?’

Grumbling internally, she got down from the carriage. Li Dequan and Chunlai had already prepared a simple breakfast of plain congee, pickled vegetables, and the ever-present guokui.

Kangxi sat on a rock like a lord.

Liang Jiugong had soaked the flatbread for him and was holding the bowl. Kangxi, using his left arm, ate with a spoon, completely unconcerned with decorum.

He seemed to be eating with relish, but was his right arm useless?

Since he wasn’t being formal outside anyway, why did someone else have to hold his bowl?

Utterly perplexed, she took the congee and flatbread Chunlai handed her, suppressed her desire for gossip, and quickly started eating.

There were many soldiers around. She was afraid of too many ears and didn’t want to attract attention.

But she and Chunlai were the only two women in the entire contingent. Fang He could even serve inside the carriage. Most of the thousand men Alan Tai had brought couldn’t help stealing glances at Fang He.

‘This little girl slept so soundly she couldn’t be woken, and made His Majesty’s shoulder so sore he couldn’t lift it? Tsk tsk. She doesn’t look fat, but she sure can eat. Probably dense meat.’

Even Alan Tai hadn’t expected His Majesty favored this type.

He thought about the imperial selection next year and, considering his own daughter who looked like she’d float away in a breeze, decided to have her eat five meals a day upon returning to the capital until the selection!

Fang He didn’t think much of it. 

It wasn’t that she was insensitive, but she understood how conspicuous one… two red spots were in a sea of green.

Back in university, for some reason, her class of sixty-two had only three boys, each treated like precious jade, making boys from other classes endlessly discuss on forums how they wanted to ambush them with sacks out of envy.

After eating, she quickly returned to the carriage. 

Not long after, Kangxi returned, rubbing his shoulder.

Fang He hurriedly offered a damp cloth, serving him attentively, “What happened to Your Majesty? Did you bump into something in the carriage?”

Kangxi looked at her meaningfully and said, “I probably bumped into a pig.”

Fang He: “…..”

“Ha, haha. Your Majesty is quite the joker.”

‘That pig probably isn’t in the carriage, right?’