Chapter 21 : Isn’t that what it means ?

Ceres spoke toward Baiol.

“I have to go to the Arsen Kingdom.”

How I’ll get there… I have no idea. But that doesn’t mean I can just not go.

When I explained that I would go there to treat the plague victims no matter what, Baiol shot back—

“Looks like today’s training fried your brain. You’re talking nonsense.”

“I’m dead serious.”

“Enough. I’m not listening to this!”

At first, she brushed it off like it was some wild fantasy.

But when I pushed harder, she wouldn’t even listen.

“Why are you suddenly like this?!”

Alios jumped in, panicked, trying to stop me.

“I have a bad feeling. Do you remember when you avoided the demon attack because you listened to me?”

“You’re saying… it feels like that again?”

“Yeah. If I don’t stop it, things will go bad.”

For me, that is.

I couldn’t explain it, so I half-lied—and of course, they pushed back.

“Ceres, get a grip!!“

Even Hames, who’d always tolerated my nonsense, snapped, grabbing my shoulders.

“I told you to care about yourself! Why won’t you listen?! Why are you always like this?!”

“Sorry.”

No matter how much they try to stop me, I can’t give this up.

“Look, realistically speaking, you’re in no condition to go anywhere,” Alios pleaded.

“You just started walking again!”

They were trying to talk sense into me now—telling me it’s physically impossible.

Even if they took me there, if I collapsed on the spot, there’d be no one left to heal the sick.

…And honestly, I agreed.

Which meant I needed one thing—

A way to heal fast.

“Sibellius. You said it’d take a few more months of treatment, right?

I’ve already been training for a month.

So what’s left is just… a few times harder than what I’ve already done.

Is there a way to shorten that?”

I turned to the expert.

Sibellius hesitated. Then slowly, she spoke.

“…It’s possible. Especially for you, it’s a 100% success rate.”

She’d known this whole time—and never said a word.

A sense of dread ran down my spine.

And the others looked just as uneasy.

“There’s something called muscle memory. Your body remembers the past month of training. So if we amplify that memory several times over, your body will follow.”

“…Won’t that hit me with months’ worth of fatigue all at once? Won’t I die?”

“You will. That’s why only you can do it.”

Because I had divine power—I wouldn’t die, so I could do it.

But it would hurt.

Far worse than anything I’d endured so far.

Alios and Hames fell silent, stunned.

And then Baiol exploded.

“Why the hell would you go that far?! What are you even doing this for?!”

I didn’t know.

What was I chasing, really?

Sure, it’s for my survival…
But I’m not the only one here anymore.

Unlike the original male leads who disappeared during important moments, these four had stayed by my side for a whole month.

They poured everything into helping me.

And yet, why do I feel like I have to go through this hell alone?

Why this pain? Why this choice?

I thought about it.

And thought again.
And then—

The truth slipped out before I realized it.

“…I want dignity for Ceres.”

Even I was stunned by those words.

Poor Ceres.

He never did anything wrong.

But because he was beautiful, he endured endless humiliation and disgrace—and died.

I don’t like that.

I want to change it.

Whatever it takes—by my hand.

People could say, “You’re taking this too seriously, it’s just a book character.”

But that doesn’t matter.

Because I am Ceres now.

And no one in this world understands Ceres better than me.

Helping Ceres is helping myself.

So I guess, unconsciously, I wanted to change the key events of the story—with my own will, my own hands.

“Can’t believe I’m only realizing this now.”

It was kind of ridiculous…

But at the same time, it felt like a weight had lifted.

Now, I could say it with no regrets—

“I’ll do the accelerated training. Starting now.”

Ceres lay flat on the bed, like a corpse.

Sibellius had triggered the acceleration method—but the results wouldn’t show instantly.

Ceres was asleep for now.

And around his bed, the four of them stood, staring down, grim-faced.

This whole thing—
Common sense said it should never have been allowed.
If he insisted, they should’ve locked him up.

But…

“What did he mean?”

Alios couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“I want dignity for Ceres.’ What kind of thing is that to say…?”

It was odd.

He is Ceres, and yet he spoke like he was talking about someone else.

Still, the weight behind those words wasn’t ordinary.

“It sounded like someone willing to risk everything for someone precious,” she murmured.

“Maybe he just said it that way to emphasize the point,” Hames said.

“It’s not like there are two Cereses. He meant he wants dignity for himself.”

“Why would he even want that?!”

Baiol exploded, frustrated.

“Does anyone not know who he is? He’s Ceres!

Even if they don’t know my name, everyone knows Ceres’s.

The Empire’s top count’s beloved only son! The most beautiful person in the Empire!

And he wants dignity? Now, of all times?”

Baiol couldn’t understand.

What was lacking?

What was missing that he’d choose self-inflicted torture for some elusive concept like dignity?

That’s when—
“Maybe… even all that luxury wasn’t enough to give him self-worth.”

Sibellius, who’d been quiet the whole time, finally joined the conversation.

“Then he gained healing powers by chance. Maybe now, he wants to find meaning in helping others. Maybe that’s how he confirms his own dignity.”

“Wait—so why was his self-esteem so low to begin with?! Don’t tell me that woman, Ares, was secretly abusing him or something?!”

The Emperor shouted, but Sibellius shook her head.

“You don’t understand. Being a noble’s treasured heir, or the most beautiful in the Empire… None of that means anything.”

“What…?”

“If your body’s too weak to even move properly, and you’re trapped in your house every day…
What use is any of that?”

With a body too frail to be sure he’d inherit the family title.

A face too beautiful to even show the world.

‘If you can’t feel it, it’s all just words. Empty praise. I know that feeling too well.’

Sibellius thought back to her own childhood.

Her mother—a demon—had treasured her.

Locked her inside, kept her safe from all harm, whispering every day:

“You have the greatest potential. You’re still young, but one day, you might become a Demon King. Just wait a little longer.”

It wasn’t a lie.

Given her current powers, her mother had been right.

But so what?

‘To me, back then, it was all just fantasy. Empty. Meaningless.’

So what if she might become the Demon King one day?

Right now, she was just a caged girl who couldn’t even meet anyone.

Even as an adult, the isolation and childhood scars led her to choose self-imposed exile instead of power.

“Words and reality didn’t match.
I didn’t know who I was.
And my self-esteem crumbled.
Is that how it is for you too, Ceres?
So now, by healing others… you’re trying to find your worth?”

After hearing about the plague, he’d changed in an instant.

Determined to go, no matter what.

Sibellius couldn’t help but draw the parallel.

“Maybe… we understand each other more than I thought.”

She hadn’t realized it, but after living together for a month—
She’d grown attached.

And now, seeing this shared pain…

Her eyes softened as she looked at Ceres.

At that moment—

“AaaAAAHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

Ceres screamed.

All four rushed to him in a panic.

“Ah—Aaaaahhh!”

“Ceres, are you okay?!”

“Please, stay with us!”

Hames and Alios held him, calling his name.

But he just kept screaming.

‘Why? Why is this happening?

Even if it’s painful, he should be okay—

Then why does this feel so wrong?’

Watching him writhe, Sibellius suddenly felt fear.

Pure, inexplicable dread.

Baiol, unable to watch any longer, shouted, “Stop it! Stop it right now!”

“I—I understand.”

She knew he’d survive.

But still, her hands trembled.

Her chest pounded.

She couldn’t even dispel the spell properly.

Then—
Suddenly, the screaming stopped.

A relief.

But the silence felt… terrifying.

“No way… did he die?”

But then—

“His eyes are open?”

“You’re awake?!”

Baiol was stunned.

Alios looked ready to cry.

Hames, quickly trying to heal him, suddenly stopped.

Because he didn’t need it.

“What are you—?”

They watched in shock as Ceres got up and walked—

Like nothing was wrong.

He walked over to the massive barbell in the corner—

Something they’d left there, assuming it was far too heavy for him.

He gripped it with his small hands—

Well over 100 kilograms.

And lifted it. Effortlessly.

“Feels light,” he said with a grin.

Strength, pouring from those slender arms.

Ceres smiled—

Fully satisfied.