Chapter 56 :  Physiognomy of a good singer

Ayase’s singing is horrible.

No, saying it’s merely horrible doesn’t even begin to describe it.

If I had to sum up Ayase’s singing in one phrase:It would be “a requiem infused with the very essence of torture.”

Of course, just because someone is a VTuber doesn’t mean they have to be good at singing.

But one thing is certain—“singing” is practically a staple content format for VTubers.

You could say that VTubers and singing are inseparable.

Whether they sing well or not, it’s just good content.

VTubers who can sing often release cover songs,and if they really put in the effort, they even release original tracks with full production.

For VTubers who can’t sing, they turn it into content too—like karaoke punishment streams,or singing in response to large donations.

Even a tone-deaf VTuber singing shyly with an embarrassed expression can be a major highlight of the stream.

But.

Ayase’s singing?

It’s not just torture.

It is torture.

Her usual speaking voice is so beautiful that people call it “heavenly,”but whenever she sings, it’s like she’s sold her soul to the demons of heavy metal and off-key wailing—what comes out is a requiem that rips your eardrums apart.

If Ayase only sang once in a while, maybe it’d feel fresh.

But no—Ayase truly believes that she’s a good singer.

Yeah.

Which means she sings a lot.

And every time she does, she belts out at least ten songs in one go.

In a way, it’s actually impressive that her vocal cords haven’t given out yet.

Anyway, I’m just as terrible at singing as Ayase.

So, the torture effect will be guaranteed.

When I announced I would take song requests,the chat exploded.

•Oh.

•Here it comessssss.

•KITTAAAAAAA.

•The first ever divine broadcast from the High Priestess of the Shining Star Church singing?!

•Is this the first time the streamer’s singing?

•Yup, world premiere.

•Just judging by their face, looks like someone who can sing though.

•Bang! lol.

•Singing pouch lol.

There’s a saying: VTubers with big… assets… are good singers.

I really like that saying.

•But the stream title.

•It says “torture session” in the title, kind of worried now.

•Song requests started flooding in.

•But seriously.

•Don’t you guys know the golden rule?

•“Donate to request a song.”

•Ugh.

•How much?

“10,000 won.”

This isn’t donation bait.

Accepting song requests through donations is a time-honored internet broadcast rule.

And it’s not even that expensive, so the viewers quickly accepted it.

However.

If I took song requests too indiscriminately, I could end up with dozens piled up.

So I said, “I’ll only take the first ten. I’ll count to five. Five, four, three, two, one…”

And the moment I said “one”.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Dozens of mission donations started pouring in like an avalanche.

“Stop, stop! We’re full! All ten slots are taken already!”

Didn’t expect the firepower to be that strong.

Limiting it to first-come-first-served was definitely the right call.

Mission donations can be canceled anytime, so it’s not like people were scamming.

Those who donated after the cutoff could just cancel their missions.

But.

I still got to pocket the sweet 10% service fee from the failed ones.

Ah, those 1,000-won punches hit just right.

.

.

.

The first requested song was a completely normal ballad.

With this first request, the viewers would finally get to judge my singing ability.

Their reaction was… ice cold.

•Ah.

•So boring.

•Super boring.

•What is this ballad crap.

•Get that damn ballad outta here.

•We need hip-hop.

•Absolutely need it.

•Hip-hop lovers, get out.

•Where’s the rock?

•Where’s the rock?

•Where’s the rock?

•Where’s the rock?!

•Damn you rock lovers.

•Rock fans, get out too.

•Isn’t J-pop the golden rule for VTubers?

•For real, lol.

•Sing an anime openingggggggggg.

•Some people like hip-hop.

•Some like rock.

•Some like J-pop.

When you gather a completely random group of people, their tastes are all over the place.

Well.

If you’re salty about the song choice, maybe try donating faster next time.

I searched the first ballad request on a video site:[Karaoke Backing Track – Love Song Version]

And then the chat exploded again.

•What is this cheap garbage, lol.

•Karaoke backing track, I’m dying lol.

•Why does adding “karaoke” to the title make it feel so low-effort?

•Other VTubers at least play instrumental versions.

“If you’re gonna sing a ballad, at least use an instrumental track…”

“Ugh, stuck with the wrong VTuber, now I gotta hear karaoke backing tracks.”

“I’m not some pro music streamer or anything, what do you mean instrumental track? I’m a fing amateur, so I’ll sing like an amateur.”

Who’s got time to prep that kind of stuff anyway?

No need to overthink it.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t even that nervous.

I turned on the echo,and immediately started singing.

.

.

.

Have you ever listened to your own singing as a recording?

You might think you sang pretty decently, but once you hear the actual audio file, it can sound absolutely horrifying.

In short.

Listening to a recording of your own voice is the most objective way to assess your singing ability.

I haven’t listened to a recording of myself singing,but honestly, I don’t need to.

I already know my singing is terrible.

I can’t even hit high notes.

And since the first request was a ballad, vocals were crucial.

But I just sang the whole song without a second thought.

My viewers probably got their eardrums assaulted.

However…,The chat reaction was… strange.

•Wow.

•Daaamn.

•They’re actually good?

•I thought you’d suck based on the stream title, but this isn’t bad lol.

•Told you—appearance is science.

•Got that musicality pocket going.

•Singing pocket, damn.

•Vocal power pocket, whoa.

•Projection pocket, crazy.

•Sensing that something was off, I started sweating.

“…Did that sound… good to you?”

“Is that even a question?”

“Oh yes it did. Oh yes it did. Oh yes it did. Oh yes it did.”

“Is this some kind of new humblebrag?”

[A current vocal academy instructor has donated 5,000 won.]

“You’ve got zero technique, but your natural tone is incredible.

Straight-up born with it.

With proper training, you could easily get into a vocal college on a full ride.”

“Why is this praise so intense lol”

“Elite compliments”

“Explanation GOAT. Thank you.”

“Told you they had the singing pocket lol”

I’m not stupid.

Even I knew that singing streams are a killer content type that can draw in tons of new viewers for VTubers.

But that only works if you’ve got at least decent singing skills.

With my disastrous singing ability… rather than attracting new viewers, I thought I’d just end up driving away the ones I already had.

In fact, whenever Ayase sings, she loses like 1,000 to 2,000 viewers.

There was one thing I overlooked.

My body had changed.

And if my body changed… then my vocal cords must have changed too.

So I just got a new set of vocal cords and suddenly awakened as some kind of talent monster?

I glanced down at my own body.

•?

•Is this a bait move?

•Why is she staring at her own chest all of a sudden.

•Hooh~ Yah~ Hooh~ Yah~.

So I really do have the “Singing Pocket”?

This totally messes up my plan to wreck eardrums and chase people away.

Sure enough.

After just one song, both my viewer count and followers had gone up even more than before.

Uh.

Hmm.

“Well, that’ll be it for the singing today…”

•?

•???

•????????????????

•Lee Jiah / Controversies and Scandals.

•“…Okay, next request then.”

•YEEAAAAHHHH.

•LET’S GOOOOO.

•Gotta go spread the word that Lee Jiah’s doing the best singing stream of her life rn.

•So much for Operation Eardrum Destruction.

•Looks like it failed miserably.

•Facecam stream?

•Confirmed.

•Bang bang bang.

•This is what I get for trying to defy destiny.

Still… I feel oddly relaxed now that I’ve given up.

Might as well finish up the remaining request missions and end the stream.

Feels like a night for a drink.

Then I checked the next mission request and…was speechless.

[Mission Donation] : Mission from user ‘NotAnAcolyte’ – 10,000 won!

Sing the Hymn of Beachy the Mutbyeol.

•This guy’s insane lol.

•I was wondering when someone would request that.

•Come on, you’re obviously an Acolyte lol.

•If you’re a true follower, you must sing the hymn.

•You have to sing it.

•Even the viewers on this stream take roleplay seriously, lol.

Excuse you, this isn’t roleplay.

This is real.

We should make “RP” a banned word in this chat.

If you agree, smash that like.

Liked.

And then came more requests… all in a row.

[Mission Donation] : Mission from user ‘ㅇㅇ’ – 10,000 won!

Let’s go, Three Bears~.

[Mission Donation] : Mission from user ‘AverageFollower’ – 10,000 won!

Sing in the cutest voice you can.

What if you’re just too cute, huh?

[Mission Donation] : Mission from user ‘NotARedPilledDude’ – 10,000 won!

Geum Won-seop – “Just Normalize Roderna”.

…

…

…

These were absolutely not normal song requests.

My thinking had been way too shallow.

The moment I agreed to take requests, I should have expected this kind of chaos.

No matter how well I understood VTuber culture,I’m still a rookie streamer.

And this was the moment I learned the painful lesson that watching streams and doing them are two very different beasts.

I was in too much of a rush to make my “Eardrum Destruction” plan happen.

And now?

That plan had gone to hell.

The facecam stream?

Practically confirmed.

And now I couldn’t even end the broadcast until I’d sung every one of these cursed requests.

A loss.

An overwhelming loss.

Damn it.

The Hymn of Beachy the Mutbyeol.

Well, since someone paid for it, I have to sing it.

Fine, whatever.

But.

“I can’t sing it if there’s no hymn to sing! I really, reeeally wanna sing it too, but I guess I’ll have to skip this one, such a shame…”

[NotAnAcolyte has donated 10,000 won.]

Don’t worry, Jiah.

I saw this coming and already used AI to generate a hymn and posted it on the fan café.

There’s a karaoke version too.

No need to thank me.

Peace.

“…”

Bro, you’re the real MVP!

Knew we could count on you!

•THANK YOU.

•Eardrum Destruction?

•In your dreams.

That plan flopped hard.

There was nowhere left to run.