“Uhh…”
A slight throbbing in my head.
I could feel the blood slowly circulating through my body.
I frowned and slowly opened my eyelids.
“Hey.”
I saw Yena’s face.
Huh… Is this a dream…?
Hehe. Not bad. I like dreams like this.
I took a moment to imprint the sight in my mind before closing my eyes again.
‘It’s warm.’
The sensation on my arms made me feel good.
That peculiar sense of satisfaction you get when hugging someone.
But how is this possible in a dream?
Everywhere I touch, it feels different.
This part is soft,
And this part is firm.
Lucid dreams are the best…
“Heh…”
Wait a minute.
Huh…?
Suddenly, my mind cleared in an instant.
My eyes shot open naturally.
And what I saw was—
“UWAAAH!”
Yena was sleeping, holding me tightly in her arms.
I closed my eyes and opened them again.
The same.
I pressed my lips together, suppressing a scream.
For now, for now… Let’s not wake her up…
I tried to recall my memories.
What the hell happened?
Yesterday, we went on a date and met at the movie theater.
Then… she did some… kind of naughty stuff to me… Ahem.
When we got home, I put on some weird pants.
Honestly, thinking about it now, they’re quite comfortable.
And since Yena gave them to me, they have some sentimental value.
What did we do after that?
We talked about this and that…
We ate something…
…Jokbal?
‘Ah.’
My memory started piecing itself back together.
Was it after I finished nearly two cans?
I think I lunged at Yena.
I must’ve said something then,
But I can’t remember that part well.
The next thing I recall…
I was snuggling into her chest, acting all cutesy.
‘Ah, crap. Crap. AAAAAH!’
I screamed internally.
If I flailed around and woke her up like this…
I took deep breaths to calm my racing heart.
Well, I’ve already embarrassed myself completely. Haha.
With my brain fully awake now, more memories surfaced.
Me, rolling around the empty bed, feeling restless.
Me, throwing myself at her the moment she got into bed.
Me, falling asleep just like that.
‘Ugh…’
And now, even in my sleep, I had wrapped my legs tightly around Yena’s thigh.
I must’ve done it unconsciously.
If I move just a little…
‘AAAAAH!’
Am I… aroused in the morning…?
I held myself back with all my might.
No. Absolutely not.
‘But, I mean… It does feel kinda nice.’
Every time Yena shifted, I could feel her soft, smooth skin brushing against me.
The slight firmness of it felt so good…
So, for now, I decided to just stay still and pretend I didn’t notice.
I mean, as long as I’m the only one who knows, it’s fine, right?
I let the pleasant sensation wash over me.
That was the last thing I remembered.
‘Huh? Did I fall asleep…?’
When I opened my eyes again,
Something was pressed against my lips.
“Ah…!”
“Hehe.”
Her fingers were touching the corner of my lips.
Our eyes met, just inches apart.
And within those eyes—pure mischief.
…I think I’m in trouble.
Just in case, I cautiously asked,
“Uh, s-since when were you watching…?”
“…For about an hour?”
“Ugh…”
She had been watching for that long?!
I could feel my face burning up.
“Yesterday… was intense, Hayul.”
“Uh, uh… huh?!”
Wait. What…
“I mean, it was my first time…”
“WH-WH-WHAT?!”
A bolt of lightning struck my brain.
What the hell is she talking about?
I—I don’t remember anything like that…?
Trying to suppress my trembling, I hesitantly asked,
“Uhm… F-First time? What… do you mean…? Haha?”
“You don’t remember? Sniff…”
“Uh, uhm…”
“After going at me so roughly, now you’re pretending it never happened?”
Her face twisted into genuine disappointment.
It’s a joke, right…?
You’re good at acting, Yena.
At this point, any trace of sleepiness was long gone.
But still.
I really don’t remember anything.
People making mistakes when they’re drunk isn’t uncommon.
I just never thought I’d be the main character in that kind of story…
I wanted to ask her more about what happened.
But I had a feeling that if I did, there would be no turning back.
Let’s consider the worst-case scenario.
After my memory blacked out…
I pounced on Yena the moment she got into bed.
I touched her all over, feeling every inch of her.
As time passed, the mood became… something else…
Maybe if it were her, she wouldn’t have shaken off my hand.
Because she’s a kind person who, even when joking around, would warmly hug me if I wanted.
I… I, yesterday…
I took away that kind Yena’s purity.
And worse, I did it while drunk, by mistake.
On top of that, I don’t even remember it.
Three strikes, I’m out.
As soon as that thought hit me, my body moved on its own.
Slowly, I sank to my knees.
Then I pressed my head down and shouted.
“Yena, I’m sorryyy! It’s all my faulttt!”
“…”
“I’ll take responsibility! I swear, I’ll really, really take responsibility somehow!”
I apologized, pouring all my emotions into it.
If she decided to report me out of spite…
That thought sent a chill down my spine.
R-rape… Me, doing something like that…
“…Really?”
“Yeah! Really, really!”
“Then…”
No way…!
At that moment, I felt a warm sensation near my ear.
Did she come closer? What is she about to say…
“From now on, let’s always sleep hugging each other.”
“Wh—what—huh?”
She suddenly said something weird.
Did her mind break…?
Was it really that bad for her to say something like that…?
“You thrash around a lot. Roughly, too.”
Thrash…?
Roughly…?
“So I held you tight while we slept. Hehe. That way, you calmed down. You were so cute that I just fell asleep like that…”
“…What…?”
“And since you’re even kneeling and apologizing… I could really feel your sincerity, and my heart just melted. Hehe.”
“…”
“Good thing it’s Sunday today, huh, Hayul?”
I was still pressing my forehead against the bedsheet.
I could feel my fingertips trembling.
The sheet under my eyes was damp.
I, I…
‘From the beginning, I was being serious.’
You…
“Sniff.”
You still only see me as a toy.
Since I just stupidly let things happen,
Do I really look like a fool?
I only act like this in front of you.
Why don’t you realize that? Why don’t you understand me?
Really…
Why do you always…
Make me feel so miserable…
I clenched my waist and straightened my posture.
I sat on the white bed and glared at her.
My vision was too blurry to see her properly.
Yena was saying something.
Her pretty lips were moving nonstop.
Ah, I don’t care anymore. This is annoying.
Her voice faded away the moment it reached my ears.
Disappointment ran down my cheeks.
I felt the tears dripping down, one by one.
And then, I opened my mouth.
“…I. Want. To go. Home.”
Each word carried my emotions.
Was it because of my disappointment?
Was I disappointed in Yena?
Disappointed in how she kept joking around from beginning to end?
Or was it denial?
Denial that our relationship was nothing more than one-sided love.
That she never had feelings for me at all.
Was I just refusing to accept that?
I turned my back and walked out of the bedroom.
This house, several times bigger than mine,
Even escaping from it took a while.
In the living room, I spotted the jeans I wore yesterday.
I glanced at them briefly before continuing to walk.
During that short walk, I hesitated dozens of times.
Should I go back and let her hold me?
If I did, Yena, startled for a moment, would hug me tightly.
And if I buried my face in her embrace…
I’d start feeling better again.
Just like always.
Should I just cry and blame her again?
‘Just like always.’
Like always…
‘Hah.’
I crushed my shoes as I stepped into them and opened the front door.
A desperate voice called out from behind.
What does she have to say now?
“…Don’t follow me.”
What kind of expression was Yena making?
I instinctively turned around, but
With my blurred vision, I could barely make out her shape.
Was she crying, just like me?
Was she regretting it,
Asking me to come back, trying to hold me back?
Or was she angry?
Scoffing at me for being disappointed over something so trivial?
Threatening me, saying she could’ve done something even worse?
Or…
Was she laughing?
Just like she always did…
Ssshhh—
I slowly shut the door.
I didn’t want to see that expression.
I stood in front of the door for a long time, debating.
Before I knew it, I was outside.
In the end, Yena didn’t follow me.
At least, not within my sight.
It’s Sunday, she said.
The people around me looked so relaxed.
They seemed so carefree.
‘She doesn’t need to follow me, anyway. It’s not like it matters.’
She already knows where I live.
Sadness trickled down my cheek.
Once my tears started, they wouldn’t stop.
They kept pouring out.
So annoying.
This is so annoying.
I already know.
It was just a joke.
A joke that couples often play on each other.
Something they could blush over,
Then laugh about once the tension eased.
A minor incident that could’ve started the day on a happy note.
‘…Couples.’
I walked down the street, radiating a heavy atmosphere.
My shorts were practically the same as underwear.
I could feel people staring.
A woman even stopped walking to look at me.
Some middle school girls whispered among themselves, sneaking glances at me.
A couple started shouting at each other after I passed by.
“…Hah.”
Do you all think this face is pretty too?
My face, my body.
Maybe I’m better than I thought.
When I was just going between school and home, I never realized.
At this rate, I could probably charm anyone…
That thought hardened like cement, dragging me down even deeper.
“What good does that do me…?”
The only person I want to notice me—
Doesn’t even treat me like a person.
Beep, beep, beep— Beep-beep.
Bam—
I slammed the front door shut.
The complete opposite of how I left her house.
A wave of irritation hit me.
Even when running away, I still thought about her.
I carefully closed the door when leaving.
I stood there for a long time.
Even on my way back, I kept glancing behind me.
Regret overwhelmed me.
Why did I do that?
“Like an idiot…”
I should’ve just ignored everything.
I should’ve just let her hold me.
I should’ve swallowed my pride.
And stayed in her arms.
Like a toy.
“Sigh…”
Creak—
I collapsed onto my cheap bed.
The springs creaked under me.
The low-quality mattress wrapped around me.
It was ridiculously small.
Things I never noticed before.
Now, everything annoyed me.
Beep— Beep—
My phone kept vibrating at regular intervals.
I already knew who it was.
I picked it up.
[ Yena♥️ : Hayul— ]
That was it.
I didn’t read the rest.
That little heart next to her name irritated me.
‘…Should I just remove it?’
But…
Ugh, seriously.
I don’t even know my own feelings anymore.
I swiped away the notification.
I turned on Do Not Disturb mode to block her calls.
Silence filled the room.
Lying on my bed, I stared at the screen.
Frustrated, I scrolled through my home screen back and forth.
Eventually, I landed back on the first page.
[ Hypnosis App ]
My last hope reached out to me.