Chapter 74 : A Love Full of Lies

A Love Full of Lies

“You’re not pretending to love, are you?”

Yoon Byeolha’s voice was calm, but there was a sharp analysis within it.

He had called Suhyun in separately for a private conversation.

Probably, having just the two of them meet was a consideration for Suhyun.

“Acting. I wasn’t that great at it.”

He didn’t shout.

But just those few words were enough to freeze the air.

Suhyun suddenly felt out of breath.

“…Yes.”

A short answer that came from her mouth.

It was simply an acknowledgment.

She couldn’t deny it.

Yoon Byeolha quietly stared at her.

His dark eyes seemed like lenses, deeply scrutinizing her.

“It’s not love, is it?”

He pointed out.

“At first glance, it seems like love. But…”

He tilted his head and slowly continued.

“You’ve mixed several emotions.”

The moment Suhyun heard those words, her mind started spinning.

Several emotions?

Me?

She recalled the scene she had just acted out.

Song Yeonwoo had lost her memory.

But Jeong Junseok still remembered.

He still loved Yeonwoo.

But Yeonwoo didn’t even know who she was.

In this situation, the emotions I acted out were…?

“…What does that mean?”

Suhyun slowly asked.

Yoon Byeolha tapped the table with his fingertips.

“What you just expressed wasn’t pure love.”

His finger paused once.

“Are you really sure that emotion was love?”

Suhyun couldn’t speak.

She was certain she had acted love.

When looking at Jeong Junseok, she put emotion into it, and whispered the lines.

But…

Was that emotion really love?

Yoon Byeolha lightly raised the corner of his mouth.

“What you just showed…”

He snapped his fingers.

“Was fear.”

Suhyun’s fingertips twitched.

“And confusion.”

His words pierced sharply.

“The person you love is pretending to know you. But you don’t know that person.”

“Yet, you’re supposed to love them. Do you know how cruel that is?”

Suhyun’s heart sank.

The scene she had just acted out came to her mind again.

The moment Jeong Junseok looked at her.

The moment Song Yeonwoo, who had lost her memory, first encountered the man she called her husband.

Did she truly love him?

No.

She was afraid.

He had called her name so naturally,

And looked at her as if he knew her so well.

But…

She had no memory of that.

So, other emotions had to rise first.

Confusion.

Fear.

And an instinctive rejection.

Yoon Byeolha chuckled lightly.

“That’s why your acting was intense.”

“……”

“People mistook it for you acting love. But, in fact, what you expressed was…”

He said slowly.

“The fear of someone being forced to love.”

“……”

Suhyun’s hands trembled with a sharp jolt.

She realized what kind of acting she had done.

Yeah, this wasn’t love.

“You still don’t understand love.”

Yoon Byeolha said firmly.

“But the emotions you expressed were intense.”

“Just not love.”

Suhyun clenched her hands tightly.

Yoon Byeolha watched her with interest.

“Now, there’s only one thing you need to do.”

He said slowly.

“You need to find real love.”

In that moment,

Suhyun instinctively felt that the path ahead of her had just become much more difficult.

As soon as she got home, she felt drained.

It felt like the energy had been sapped out of her from keeping up her concentration.

Ah.

“Damn… Love, huh.”

Even saying it like that…

I’ve never actually felt love.

I slowly opened my hand.

There was a clear red mark on my palm.

A trace left from my nails digging in deep.

I hadn’t even noticed while acting, but now it hurt so much.

I bit my lip tightly.

Love.

What is it?

They say what I acted out wasn’t love.

But I thought it was love.

Because I was sincere when I expressed those feelings.

But was it really not love?

I looked at Jeong Junseok,

Met his gaze,

And felt some indescribable emotion.

He said he loved me.

He said he remembered me.

Even though I didn’t know who I was, he knew me.

At that moment, I was so scared.

No, it wasn’t fear… it was unfamiliarity.

I don’t know him.

But he said he loved me.

I must accept his love.

But, what is love?

How should I accept it?

They say I should express love.

But I’ve never felt love.

Not even once.

I’ve liked someone before.

I’ve had affection for someone.

I’ve admired or respected someone.

But…

Was that love?

I’ve never stored the feeling of ‘love.’

Sadness, anger, joy, fear.

I can pull these emotions out whenever I need to.

But love?

I’ve never stored that emotion.

So, how can I bring it out?

I looked into the mirror.

The face in the mirror.

I should be ‘Song Yeonwoo.’

A woman who lost her memory but has to love again.

Someone who is confused but has to regain her emotions.

But…

I don’t even know what love is.

How do I act out love?

“…What do I do?”

The voice that escaped my lips was faint.

It was so faint that it got buried within me.

How do I act out love?

My head was a mess.

My fingertips grew cold.

Can I really become an actor?

Can I really act out true love?

I don’t know love.

But I have to act out love.

Is this even possible?

The closest feeling I’ve ever had to it was…

“…Ah. I miss Ahyun.”

It was something that slipped out without thinking.

Whenever I’m feeling confused like this, the first face that always comes to mind.

The person who always watched over me from the side, who understood me even without saying a word.

Ahyun.

Whenever I couldn’t sort out my emotions,
she would always notice first and comfort me.

If I told her about this situation, what kind of expression would Ahyeon make?

“I don’t even know what love is, but they’re telling me to act it out.”

“…But when you saw it, did it look like I was acting out love?”

If I asked that, Ahyeon would probably sigh first.

“Unnie, what are you even saying.”

Then she’d slightly furrow her brows and say something firm and direct.

“You’ve never been in love? Don’t lie.”

That can’t be true. I’ve never been in love.

But…if Ahyeon says that, for some reason, I wouldn’t be able to argue back.

Just like always.

I stared blankly at the mirror.

The face that was “Song Yeonwoo” just a moment ago.

Now, the face that had returned to being “Kang Suhyun.”

But… have I really returned? My chest still feels oddly tight.

…

I miss Ahyeon.

I don’t know what this feeling is, but…Right now, I want to see you.

As I stepped out of the set, the cold night air seeped deep into my lungs.

Was it nighttime? No, it wasn’t even evening yet, but the air felt strangely chilly.

My head was a mess.

Yoon Byeolha’s feedback, the staff’s reaction, and…the emotion I had acted out.

The feeling I had believed was love —what if it wasn’t actually love?

If that’s true, then…what am I supposed to do now?

As I walked, I pulled out my phone without thinking.

My fingertips felt frozen.

When the screen lit up, I instinctively tapped the recent call list.

Familiar names were listed there.

FlyingCloud.

Director Byeolha.

And…

[Ahyeon (Yoo Yi)]

I didn’t hesitate and pressed the name.

The phone rang.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

It felt like it was ringing for too long, and my finger twitched nervously.

Should I hang up?

Is it right to call Ahyeon when I’m like this?

But.

“…Haah.”

I slowly inhaled.

I don’t need to think about it right now. I just…want to see her.

[Hello? Unnie?]

It rang about four times when I heard her familiar voice.

Soft and gentle, with a hint of curiosity.

For a moment, I couldn’t say anything.

I just held the phone to my ear and stayed quiet.

“Ah. Ahyeon-ah. It’s me.”

My voice came out more subdued than I expected.

[…Unnie? What’s wrong?]

Ahyeon’s voice became a bit cautious.

I silently looked around.

The exit of the filming set.
The staff moving busily in the background.
The cars in the distance.

But right now, none of that mattered.

“Where are you?”

Ahyeon didn’t answer right away.
After a short pause, she quietly said,

[…At home.]

Home.
Ahyeon’s home.
That’s good.

She’s not far away.

[Unnie, what’s going on?]

“…Just…”

I trailed off.
What’s going on?
Why did I call her?
I wasn’t exactly sure,
but just hearing Ahyeon’s voice made me feel a little more at ease.

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

My voice came out softer than I expected.

[…Unnie, where are you?]

Ahyeon asked.
Her voice was a little lower than usual.

That tone —
I knew it well.
The tone she used when she was worried.
Or when she noticed I wasn’t feeling okay.

“I’m in front of the set.”

[Wait there. I’ll be there soon.]

“No, I’ll go to you.”

[No. Stay there.]

Ahyeon’s voice turned firm.

I unconsciously smiled.

“You haven’t changed at all.”

[…Unnie, you’re acting strange.]

“Me?”

[Yeah. Something’s off.]

I didn’t answer.

I just looked up at the sky.

The lights from the set were fading,
and the surroundings were gradually getting darker.

Now it finally felt like the shoot was over.

“Ahyeon.”

[Yeah.]

“I feel like I have something to tell you when I see you.”

[······]

“So… I’ll wait for you.”

Ahyeon didn’t say anything for a moment.
And then, quietly,

[I’ll be right there.]

I slowly lowered my phone.

And then, I quietly looked down at my hand.

The red mark on my palm.
The spot where blood had pooled not long ago.

Yet it still felt strangely tingly.

What is this feeling?

I took a deep breath.
Then slowly closed my eyes.

Soon,
Ahyeon will be here.

I’ll wait for her here.