I got caught. It seemed like Bersia already knew that I had used a trick just to hold her hand.
The moment I realized that, a sharp sense of crisis enveloped my entire body.
Ah, I’ve been found out.
Is there no other way?
Why do I keep thinking like this?
The anticipation of what was about to happen… Yeah, calling it that felt right. It made every sensation in my body several times more sensitive.
Usher lifted the corners of his lips, his eyes trembling.
“What do you mean…”
For now, he pretended not to know.
He was worried that if he acted too flustered, it would make him seem like someone who had been eagerly waiting for this moment.
But should he have done that?
“Right? There’s no way a knight like you would do such a thing. I guess I was just overthinking things.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry. That was too much of a joke.”
Bersia smoothly withdrew her hand.
Usher, who had instinctively tried to grab it again, flinched and stopped.
This isn’t right.
As he thought that, he felt a hollow sense of loss.
The moment he looked up at her with an expression that clearly reflected those emotions, Usher realized something.
“You’re a noble-minded person, after all. Unlike someone crude like me.”
She was doing this on purpose.
Bersia was deliberately acting this way.
She smirked, openly revealing her amusement.
She was behaving as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.
The surge of emotions at that moment—what was it?
Was this the right feeling to have?
If anything, it was regret.
Maybe he should have just gone along with it.
Maybe he should have just pretended to be crazy under the curse’s influence.
He was desperate enough to have those thoughts.
His impulses only grew stronger.
It wasn’t just lust that was intensifying.
Both his emotions and his desires were amplifying, but his emotions surfaced first.
Was his face about to break into tears?
But now, he couldn’t ask her to hold his hand anymore.
That would be something different—something pathetic and disgraceful.
“Y-Yes, of course. My thoughts are pure…”
He stammered through his words.
He felt like he was going to die of frustration, but he couldn’t bring himself to show it.
Bersia just kept smiling.
The slight raise and fall of her eyebrows seemed like a subtle acknowledgment.
It felt as if she were saying, “At least you still have some reason left?”
Usher avoided her gaze.
Even to himself, his actions were frustrating.
Saying no with his mouth while secretly hoping she’d push forward—when that didn’t happen, feeling disappointed—
This is annoying…
He really must have seemed like an annoying woman to her.
He couldn’t even begin to pinpoint what part of his behavior he should criticize.
Two more days passed.
If Usher had to sum up his experience during that time in one sentence, it would be this:
He felt like his intelligence was dropping.
All he could think about all day was wanting to have some kind of physical contact.
And every time he failed, he felt as if his world was crumbling.
Now, he walked around with slumped shoulders.
He spent more and more time staring blankly into space.
The only moments when life returned to his eyes were these:
“Are you okay? You don’t look well.”
“…!”
Whenever Bersia made physical contact with him.
She placed her hand on his forehead.
The direct sensation of her skin made Usher take a deep breath.
His eyes regained their focus, and Bersia let out a small, amused laugh.
“If it’s like this, why don’t you just ask me to hold your hand?”
“W-What are you talking about? I don’t know what you mean…!”
“You’re still acting like this.”
At some point, this had turned into a battle of wills.
Even though he knew how foolish it was, Usher couldn’t stop himself.
It wasn’t about begging.
Was it his stubborn pride?
He wanted their physical contact to happen because Bersia was worried about him and couldn’t resist anymore—
So that he could reluctantly hold her hand.
Anything else felt unacceptable.
“You’re such a troublesome person, Sir Knight.”
Usher flinched.
Wasn’t that a bit too harsh?
When he glared at her, she only smirked in response.
That day, once again, he failed to get as much physical contact as he wanted.
Later, Usher lay in bed for hours, rubbing his stomach in frustration.
Meanwhile, Bersia had been enjoying herself more and more lately.
It was because of Usher.
The way he was visibly changing day by day, yet still trying to handle it in his own way—
He’s struggling so much, yet he won’t just ask.
If he was suffering this much, he might as well just request it outright, but Usher never did.
His pride was ridiculous.
Even through his actions, it was too obvious what he wanted—
“Saintess, please push me over the edge.”
She could have easily granted his unspoken request.
But Bersia didn’t.
All this time, he had been rejecting her.
So wasn’t it fair to tease him a little in return?
The torment was enjoyable.
Whenever Usher looked at her with a desperate expression, a sadistic thrill surged within her.
The way he challenged her, as if to say, let’s see who wins this game, was amusing.
And so, rather than giving in immediately, she played along with his battle of wills.
Today was one of those days.
Usher was melting like a withering plant, his expression blank and dazed.
But the moment she “accidentally” (though by now, he knew it was intentional) brushed her fingers against his, life returned to his eyes.
It was like dripping water onto dried seaweed.
With such an entertaining spectacle before her, how could she let it end so easily?
However, dragging things out for too long didn’t seem wise either.
Bersia sensed that the time had come.
More precisely, it was time to accept her loss to Usher.
His behavior had become so endearing to her.
In other words, it was getting harder to hold back.
The way his longing expression leaked through when she withdrew her hand stirred a dangerous kind of excitement.
The way he looked up at her with those wet eyes,
The way he pouted as if annoyed,
The way he acted sulky but never actually moved out of reach—
It was all utterly adorable.
She wanted to see that face twist in pleasure.
Yes, this suited him perfectly.
Following her emotions, Bersia reached out her hand.
And then—
The moment her fingers intertwined with Usher’s—
He let out a faint whimper.
Bersia watched his reaction with a beaming smile.
“What’s wrong?”
She asked, feigning ignorance.
Usher didn’t answer.
He lowered his head, his hair falling over his face.
But his reddened ears were impossible to miss.
At this rate, he would continue to heat up.
The body’s reactions couldn’t be suppressed by mere willpower.
Bersia had learned that lesson many times using that very body in Baern.
Unresolved desires only piled up.
It was like continuously pouring liquid into a cup with a fixed limit—
Eventually, it would overflow.
It wasn’t uncommon for people to end up resorting to forceful actions when things reached that point.
Usher trembled slightly.
He twisted his waist and swallowed hard.
When she traced his hand with her index finger, his body flinched.
His breaths became increasingly ragged.
“Are you really okay?”
“G-Ghh… Chah…”
Just a little more, and he might lose control.
He was right on the edge.
Now, all that was left was for him to break.
Bersia couldn’t help but imagine what would come next.
A sweet, tender moment.
Despite her teasing, she had her own romanticized ideas about intimacy.
She would embrace him gently.
More than the act itself, what mattered to her was the feeling of being desperately wanted by Usher.
She imagined holding him close, sharing their warmth,
Watching him cling to her and feeling completely satisfied by it.
And so, the moment she pressed her thumb firmly against his palm—
Twitch.
Usher’s waist jerked.
A faint shudder traveled through their joined hands.
Finally, he lifted his head, his eyes unfocused.
His lips were bitten so hard they left marks.
His flushed face, gazing blankly at the ceiling, was unbearably alluring.
Was this the beginning?
Just as Bersia reached toward his thigh and opened her mouth—
“Is this okay n—”
“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom for a moment.”
Usher shot to his feet and briskly left the room.
His voice was oddly clear and composed.
His eyes quickly regained focus.
Bersia, now left staring at the closed door, tried to make sense of what had just happened.
Actually, it wasn’t that difficult to understand.
Click!
When Usher returned, he wore a serene, almost benevolent smile.
He looked thoroughly refreshed.
Was it just her imagination, or did his skin seem smoother?
No. No, it wasn’t her imagination.
“Heh, I think I’m getting a little hungry. Would you like to go eat something?”
Without thinking, Bersia blurted out—
“What kind of pathetic human is this?“
“Pardon?”
He had abandoned her just from holding hands, then went and took care of things by himself.
Now he had returned, acting like nothing happened.
Suddenly, she felt incredibly wronged.
He had enjoyed himself all alone.
“What? Do it for me too.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
Of course, he knew.
But his expression said it all—
I’m satisfied, so I’m not interested anymore.
Bersia felt her insides boil.
For the first time—
She found him utterly infuriating.