I’m screwed. I’m really screwed.
Of all things, a medical check-up?
Damn.
Last time, when I had just escaped from Y, I barely avoided having my blood drawn thanks to Makoto Donju taking me away just in time.
But now, even Makoto Donju, who had saved me back then, was practically throwing fuel onto the fire, suggesting that it would be good for me to go through with it.
“Janghoon, it’s just a simple blood test, so you don’t have to worry, okay?”
“Yes…”
“Hmm, but for someone who’s not worried, you look pretty tense. Why don’t you just be honest now?”
“…Yoon Ha-eun, if you open your mouth like that one more time, I’ll rip it apart myself. Got it?”
“?! Yes, understood…”
Basement Level 1 of the Hero Association building.
A medical ward and research facility specializing in the treatment of heroes and the study of various monsters—currently, a large crowd had gathered around me.
Well, of course. It wasn’t every day that two S-class heroes, who were difficult to gather even by the association’s request, were present at the same time.
On top of that, even a high-ranking monster who usually spent their time hammering away in the basement had shown up. It was clear that the passing researchers were enjoying the spectacle.
“Alright, let’s begin the injection.”
“Make sure it doesn’t hurt.”
“Uh… Makoto-sama. I’m sorry, but injections always hurt a little…”
“I. Said. Don’t. Make. It. Hurt.”
“Y-Yes! I’ll do my best!”
The only fortunate thing was that Makoto Donju, who cared for me like her own son, was here.
Thanks to her, the inevitable blood sample collection had been delayed for over ten minutes now.
But it seemed like even that was about to end.
The nervous researcher had finally steeled himself, positioning the needle against my arm.
‘Is there really no way out of this?!’
If the test results came out positive with everyone watching, meaning they found out I was a monster, what would happen to Makoto Donju and the Okami family, who had always believed in me as a human?
‘Should I just turn myself in now?’
I closed my eyes tightly as the needle approached within a centimeter of my skin.
Then—
Grab.
“Huh?”
“W-What?”
The person who had grabbed the researcher’s arm before he could insert the needle—
It was none other than the Weapon Monster, who had been silently watching from the side.
“Hey, this needle is ‘faulty.'”
“W-What?”
“The needle…”
“It’s defective?”
Hearing the monster’s words, Makoto Donju quickly snatched the syringe from the researcher and examined it herself.
Then, gripping it tightly, she crushed it in her hand and shouted in a voice filled with fury.
“It’s true! The tip of the needle is rusted!”
“W-What?”
“…! It really is! I could have gotten tetanus from this!”
Yoon Ha-eun, examining the broken syringe fragments, spotted the same tiny traces of rust on the needle.
Meanwhile, Makoto Donju, who had almost turned into a full-blown villain, grabbed the researcher by the neck.
“D-Donju-sama, please calm down!”
“Makoto-sama!”
“Somebody! Somebody stop her!”
“You bastard. Die to atone for this!”
“P-Please spare me…!”
While everyone else was trying to stop Donju,
“Hey, kid.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.”
The Weapon Monster had suddenly approached me.
“It looks like it’ll take a while for things to settle down. Why don’t you take this chance to go to the bathroom?”
Honestly…
The scene in front of me was pure chaos, no matter how I looked at it.
Relieved to have bought myself some time, I nodded and quietly headed to the restroom, hoping to come up with a new plan.
Splaaaaash.
Maybe because I had just avoided a major crisis—
My urine stream was absolutely incredible today.
Perhaps the survival instinct was kicking in, making my body instinctively tense up.
“Haa… But what do I do now…”
I had bought myself some time thanks to the rusted syringe, but that delay wouldn’t last much longer.
By the end of the day, I’d have to take the physical exam, and my identity would be revealed.
Sure, my current appearance was human, so maybe the test results would confirm that I was 100% human…
But if even 1% of my monster traits were detected, my peaceful life would be over.
What could I possibly do now?
As my strong urine stream started to dwindle, my anxiety was making even my private parts shrink in fear.
Then—
“Excuse me for a moment.”
“…?!”
What the hell?
Did I walk into the wrong bathroom?
No.
The fact that there were urinals here proved this was definitely the men’s restroom.
Then why…
Why was she here?
Standing at the urinal beside me, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, was the Weapon Monster.
Despite her large chest and curvy hips clearly proving she was female,
She casually pulled down her short shorts all the way to her ankles, like a little boy in kindergarten.
“You know,”
“…?”
“There are some women who have such strong urine pressure that they can pee forward.”
Splaaaaash.
Even though she had hair between her legs, she clearly didn’t have a certain “something” down there.
As expected of a high-ranking monster—
She was defying human understanding in an overwhelming way.
“Ah, this reminds me of the old days.”
“The old days?”
“Yeah. Back when Ha-eun was around your age, she tried to copy this technique and practiced a lot in the restroom.”
That was some TMI I really didn’t need to hear…
No wonder Yoon Ha-eun turned out to be such a pervert.
It was clear now—at least half of the reason was this person… No, this monster’s influence.
After a brief moment of silent peeing,
“Kid. What are you planning to do now?”
“Huh?”
“Your identity. Are you just going to let them find out you’re a monster?”
“?!?”
The Weapon Monster gave me a knowing look.
“W-What are you talking about?”
“You don’t have to hide it from me. No… Actually, it’s not that you don’t have to—more like you can’t hide it from me.”
“I don’t understand what you mean…”
“Kid, you’re a monster with a human-form disguise, aren’t you?”
“Human-form… disguise?”
Even as I tried to deny it, she spoke as if she could see straight through me.
“Most people wouldn’t notice, but high-ranking monsters like me can see the true nature of a monster no matter how well they disguise themselves.”
The Weapon Monster waved her hand dismissively, as if telling me to stop wasting my efforts.
“In other words…”
“You’ve been able to see my monster form this entire time?”
“Pretty much.”
Chills.
What was she saying now?
A top-tier monster…
So, does that mean that monsters classified as special-grade by humanity’s standards have the ability to see through the true identities of all monsters?
Maybe it was because the game shut down on its 5th anniversary.
Even then, special-grade monsters were shrouded in mystery under the excuse of power inflation.
So, I never even dreamed that they had this kind of ability.
In other words, I had been caught completely off guard.
But why?
If she had known my identity from the start, it wouldn’t have been strange for her to warn Yoon Ha-eun, her contractor, right away.
The Weapon Monster, who had finished peeing, simply pulled her hot pants back up and walked over to the sink to wash her hands.
Seeing how relaxed she was, I started wondering—
Do special-grade monsters leave me alone because they can kill me anytime they want?
Just as I gulped at the thought—
“Oh, and just so you know, I’m not being this relaxed because I can kill you anytime.”
She immediately denied my suspicions.
“Then why are you leaving me alone?”
“Because… I get the feeling that you’re like me.”
“…What?”
She shook the water off her hands and turned to face me again.
“Kid, you and I have a lot in common.”
“In common? Me and the Weapon Monster?”
“Yeah. Think about it—we both fight for humanity, don’t we?”
If humanity were to be wiped out, many things would disappear into history.
But the first thing to vanish would be weapons—objects that only humans can use, starting from simple stone tools.
Swords, spears, bows, guns, bombs, tanks…
The ‘fear’ that weapons invoke, which could be said to define human history itself, is something only humanity can create.
So, the Weapon Monster, the mother of all weapon-related monsters, had sided with humanity ever since the moment she was born.
Because of this, other top-tier monsters in the otherworld branded her as a traitor.
But to her, that was something to be ‘satisfied’ about.
After all, if they saw her as a heretic, that meant humanity was holding out well against the monsters.
If humanity had been losing, would they have even cared if she betrayed them or not?
But really…
Even though she had seen countless monsters before, she said this was the first time she had come across someone like me.
Pointing at me, she continued,
“But you’re really interesting.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Usually, top-tier monsters can instantly see a monster’s title just by looking at them.”
“…Title?”
“Yeah, but you don’t have one. Not even a trace of one. It’s really strange.”
No title?
Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
It was hard to say.
As I laughed awkwardly,
“First of all… You don’t look like a top-tier monster.”
“And you don’t fit the bill for a high-ranking one, either. Kid, you really gave one of my sons a hard time, didn’t you?”
“…Well, I guess so.”
“You completely destroyed him, huh?”
“…Your son?”
Her son?
What son?
I tilted my head in confusion as she suddenly brought up her child.
“My ungrateful brat.”
“…Ungrateful brat?”
“I’m talking about a ‘monster.’ That delinquent who ran away from home.”
“Oh…!”
Now that I thought about it—
This lady… No, this madam was the origin of all weapon monsters.
Just like how the Radiation Monster had referred to the nuclear bomb—closely tied to her title—as her older sister,
This was something that hadn’t even appeared in the original story.
So, the Sword Monster was basically like a child born from the Weapon Monster’s will.
“Hah… That guy, huh. He was born alongside the Spear Monster when human civilization began.”
“I see.”
“Yeah… But he suddenly turned into a delinquent and ran away from home.”
“Oh…”
So, by killing—no, disciplining—the runaway son, I had basically forced him to return home?
“You did well, kid.”
“It was nothing.”
That bastard had a mother like this, and he still turned out like that?
This just proves how important parenting is.
As I absentmindedly watched the Weapon Monster wipe away a tear at the news of her son finally returning home,
I ended up receiving an unexpected compliment.
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