It’s not awkward.
Well, it wasn’t really awkward.
When I saw my sister the day after we shared that text, I was so sure of that. I didn’t feel like I was going to die of awkwardness greeting her and standing next to her.
Instead, I was embarrassed.
I’m not sure what I’m ashamed of. I don’t know if I’m ashamed that I almost kissed her yesterday, or that I texted her with a bunch of emojis.
But as soon as I walked into the store and saw her face, I felt a tickle in the pit of my stomach.
I felt like I had a long thread hanging from the ceiling of my heart, with a feather dangling from the end.
If my heart wavered even a little, the thread would sway, and the feather would sway along with it, its tip barely touching the floor of my heart.
The feathers swaying in the sky tickled my heart.
I think my sister feels the same way.
She looks at me and blushes.
Yesterday, she was the one who leaned against me and was on the verge of kissing me. She was the one who leaned against me, and she was the one who brought her lips to mine.
I thought maybe the film was broken, but apparently not. If it was, she wouldn’t have been able to text me because she fell asleep as soon as she walked into the room.
“How were you this morning?”
It wasn’t awkward, but I couldn’t say anything out of embarrassment. My sister and I have to stay like this until next Wednesday. Besides, we were supposed to go to an amusement park together next Wednesday.
“Oh, yeah, I was fine.”
I asked, worried that she might have had a hangover, but she was fine. I was relieved.
If she had a hangover, she wouldn’t have such a relaxed face… ・No, not a relaxed face. She looks embarrassed.
If she really had a headache, her brow would be furrowed, or something. He may have been drunk, but the absolute amount wasn’t that much, so his body may not have had a problem detoxifying.
When I changed and stood next to my sister, I could smell her perfume. It was a floral scent I didn’t recognize.
I was tempted to tell her that she shouldn’t worry too much about it, but I realized that it would be rude to say it out loud, so I let it go.
“…….”
“…….”
The conversation was cut off.
But it wasn’t like the last time my sister burst into tears. Instead, it was a much warmer, more natural atmosphere where we could continue the conversation for as long as we wanted.
The weather outside the window was nice.
“Hmmm.”
Suddenly, my sister coughed and nudged me.
We were both standing facing the register, so she walked to the side.
We weren’t quite touching, though. There was about half a step between her and my shoulder.
“Ah.”
My fingertips touched hers.
No, not my fingertips, but the back of my hand.
Slowly, gently, back of hand touched back of hand. When I held still, her hand moved her fingers as if impatient.
The tip of my index finger nail touched hers. Her fingers slowly moved up, and soon we were touching the backs of our hands, interlocking our fingers.
She was warming her hands for a moment.
I glanced over, and she had turned her head slightly to the other side of me.
I couldn’t see her expression, but I could see that her ears were red.
I felt like laughing, but I held it back.
She was being brave right now.
If she was showing courage, I should show courage.
I snapped my fingers.
I rotated my hand around my index and middle fingers, and my pinky and ring fingers came loose, followed by my middle finger.
So that she wouldn’t be surprised by the release of my hand, so that it wouldn’t look like I had rejected her, I carefully moved my hand and wrapped my palm over hers.
Then I slipped my fingers between hers and squeezed.
“……”
“……”
Neither of us said anything.
In fact, at this hour, we were the only two people in the bakery. There was no reason to be concerned about anyone’s eyes on us.
Nevertheless, we were secretly holding hands without saying anything.
I heard my sister’s breathing.
Oh, now that I think about it, I forgot to turn on the music. I didn’t realize it until I heard her breathing.
She was actually nervous, and I had forgotten about it, too.
I wonder how long we were holding hands.
A click.
The shop door opened and the little bell on the door rang.
We quickly let go of each other’s hands. Luckily, the customer who walked in didn’t realize we were holding hands because she immediately turned around to pick up her tray.
I let out a small breath. My breath overlapped with hers.
Only then could we face each other.
We were relaxed and giggling.
With my hand still warm from her touch, I turned on the store’s music.
*
When the morning rush of customers had died down and the café was starting to quiet, Yuri noona walked in.
“Oh.”
As soon as she saw the two of us, she stopped in her tracks, looking momentarily surprised. But that reaction didn’t last long. She quickly relaxed her expression and stepped inside.
“Hey, you both look like you’re in a good mood.”
Her gaze lingered on me for a little longer than usual. Did she have something to say to me? But just as I started wondering, she casually looked away.
She picked up a tray and selected a few pieces of bread—coincidentally, the ones she chose were a cream bread and a soboro bread. The same two I had picked the first time I came here.
“I’ll take these two, and an Americano.”
As she spoke, she pulled out her card and handed it over.
“…..”
While I was ringing up her order, Yuri noona kept glancing back and forth between me and Ayun noona.
She looked like she wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if she should.
Eventually, unable to ignore her expression any longer, Ayun noona handed her card back and spoke up.
“If you have something to say, just say it.”
“Oh, then I won’t hold back.”
As if she had been waiting for permission, Yuri noona immediately cut to the chase.
“You two… did something happen yesterday?”
“Ah.”
The sound escaped from my mouth before I could stop it.
Yuri noona stared at me intently. Ayun noona, also caught off guard, turned to look at me.
…Completely off guard, I had reacted to her question without thinking.
Yuri noona had always been sharp. No matter how well I hid my expression, she would notice right away and be considerate about it.
Even when she had come all the way to our neighborhood to hang out, she had never once said she wanted to stop by our place—even though she was probably curious.
Of course, she lived in a different world from us, so there were things she didn’t understand, no matter how perceptive she was.
“What do you mean, something happened?”
Since I couldn’t bring myself to answer, Ayun noona took the question instead.
“Oh, come on. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Yuri noona looked around the café. Luckily, there were no other customers.
Then, leaning slightly against the counter, she lowered her voice and whispered,
“Well, I can’t say for sure it was yesterday exactly. But to me, it kind of looked like…..you know, like two college students the day after they start dating standing around awkwardly, trying to keep their distance.”
“……”
Her intuition was scarily accurate.
Seeing the way Ayun noona and I instinctively made eye contact, Yuri noona seemed convinced. She gave a small shrug.
“Not that I’d say anything even if it were true. It just seemed that way to me. But if I’m wrong, forget it.”
With that, she picked up her tray and walked toward an empty seat in the café.
For some reason, though, her face looked unusually troubled.
Still, it didn’t feel like something I should go over and ask about.
She was allowed to have things on her mind.
Maybe I wouldn’t understand, but Ayun noona had been her friend for a long time.
Two women dating wasn’t something people usually expected. Yuri noona wasn’t the type to be judgmental, but the outside world was different.
Thinking back, what we had done before parting ways last night had been a bit reckless. If someone had seen us…
If a man and a woman had been standing that close, people might have given them a look, maybe made a face, but nothing more.
But two women? Whether people liked it or not, they would have stared.
Would someone have made a scene? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know much about that kind of thing.
“……..”
Ayun noona, as she brewed coffee, looked lost in thought not as much as Yuri noona, but still.
I hesitated for a moment before deciding it wasn’t worth worrying so much.
Aside from my mom, it was just the two of us in this world.
That was enough.
Even if someone tried to interfere, we didn’t have to care.
Realizing that, I felt a little more at ease.