“Lee So Won.”
“Tae Woo caught So Won, who was rushing to leave like a broken machine. Even as So Won hurried out as if fleeing, he stopped when Tae Woo called his name. The low voice that felt heavy called his name, and he could not help but stop his legs.”
“I’ll escort you home.”
“Pardon?”
“So Won was greatly surprised. His face color changed so quickly, the face that had been as red as a beet was now pale white. Tae Woo was already about to follow So Won out before even hearing his answer. At this rate, he really seemed ready to take him all the way home. So Won, feeling urgent, opened his mouth.”
“Aren’t you still on duty?”
“You may leave work now for today.”
“The answer came immediately. So Won, who did not know Tae Woo’s usual schedule, had no way to confirm whether that was true. So Won’s mouth could not find words to argue and closed again.”
“In the end, So Won left the Personal Room together with Tae Woo. In the quiet hallway, Tae Woo’s heavy dress shoes and So Won’s light footsteps echoed off-beat. So Won tried hard not to let his gaze go to Tae Woo, who was walking beside him. However, because of Tae Woo’s Guide’s Wavelength that he kept feeling, he could not forget that he was next to him.”
“In the awkward silence, they waited for the elevator that was slower than a turtle. After a while, the elevator arrived at the 10th floor, and no one was inside. When Tae Woo entered, the elevator that had seemed spacious looked cramped. So Won boarded with the feeling of being dragged to a slaughterhouse. The doors slowly closed, and So Won’s face, trapped alone with Tae Woo in the elevator, was quite tragic.”
‘If I had known I would fall asleep leaning on Tae Woo, I would have forced myself to hold back sleep.’
“So Won hid behind Tae Woo’s large back and clutched his head. Whenever he saw Tae Woo’s arm that kept entering his view, the feeling of having leaned his head on that arm came back, and his face grew hot. He decided to think of this situation as karmic retribution for that.”
“The elevator heading down to the underground parking lot stopped midway. So Won felt glad about it. If he saw someone other than Tae Woo, he thought he could forget for a moment the embarrassing scene that would not erase from his mind. He hoped there would be as many people as possible. So Won, completely hidden by Tae Woo’s body, made an earnest expression and stuck out his head.”
“When the doors opened, a person who looked like an Association employee was standing beyond them. Contrary to his expectations, it was only one person, but So Won was still glad. The person, who had been looking at his phone, stepped into the elevator with his head bowed.”
“The employee, who was about to get on the elevator while sending a text, suddenly got goosebumps. A chilly feeling rose from the foot stepping on the elevator floor. The employee took his gaze away from the smartphone and raised his head. A giant monster was looking down at him.”
“Huh!”
“The employee, now pale, was startled and stepped back. His face turned blue. One foot that had entered where the monster was had already slipped back out, but the employee was frightened by Tae Woo’s gruesome appearance and kept retreating.”
“The employee had seen it before. Tae Woo, just before Berserk, losing reason and attacking people. He had only swung his arm once, but the Esper who had come to subdue him burst like a full plastic bag and sprayed blood. After twists and turns, the Esper Rampage Response Team calmed Tae Woo and dragged him to the Center, but the area was already stained with injured people and the blood they had shed.”
“It was an old incident, but the scene still appeared before his eyes. His fear-stricken pupils shook back and forth. He looked as if he would foam at the mouth and faint at any moment.”
“In the end, no one got on, and the doors slowly closed.”
“After that, the elevator stopped again and again. The more So Won saw the faces of people who faced Tae Woo as the doors opened, the darker his eyes sank. People who had been fine before seeing Tae Woo did not hide their expressions mixed with fear, terror, and disgust after seeing him, revealing them as they were. During the descent underground, the doors opened several times, but no one tried to get on the elevator. The reaction was frighteningly identical.”
“……”
“So Won could not say anything.”
“It felt like he had glimpsed what kind of life Tae Woo had lived. Monster. He was a walking monster. Even while the dark red Curse gnawed at his whole body, when a dangerous Gate opened, he was dispatched first, and even though he protected people’s safety day and night. Even though it was Tae Woo who risked his life fighting the real monsters beyond the Gate.”
“People who had never even met Tae Woo feared him, and everyone he encountered acted as if he were a terrible monster. The media was busy calling such a Tae Woo a monster and cursing him, and the state stood by and watched. Even his one and only Guide was not much different from them.”
“When he thought that he himself had been mixed in among such people, he could not stand with his head held up. The actions with which he had treated Tae Woo came back one by one, leading So Won gradually into the abyss. The guilt he had forgotten grabbed his ankle and slowly crawled up.”
“His body was heavy. He wanted to close his eyes like this and never open them again.”
“So Won felt he could now believe this place was hell. A hell where So Won, who had made him die, would learn everything.”
“Only after coming down to the empty parking lot could So Won finally breathe.”
“Even though he knew the gazes were directed at Tae Woo, it felt as if they were aimed at him, and he was suffocated. When he thought of Tae Woo, who must have received such looks his whole life, his heart throbbed. Even though he had experienced the gazes Tae Woo had to endure for only a very short moment, a very little bit, So Won’s heart pounded uneasily and the ground beneath him seemed to fall away.”
“After receiving one-sided hatred, his body trembled. So Won’s legs lost strength and his walk became strange, but Tae Woo, who had actually blocked people’s gazes in front of So Won, looked unaffected. That hurt his heart again, and So Won bit his lips tightly.”
“The place he followed Tae Woo to with a complicated heart held memories from the past. A familiar sedan greeted So Won. It was the black sedan that had sometimes been parked in the yard when Tae Woo returned home.”
“Tae Woo’s car often changed. There was no fixed cycle, but each changed design seemed to exactly reflect So Won’s taste, so So Won remembered the brand and model name each time. A deep black as if coated with ink and polished. A sedan as large as Tae Woo, one that suited Tae Woo well. It was the very first sedan in So Won’s memory as well.”
“Please get in.”
“From the feeling of the door opening, the foreign car boasting an expensive price felt somewhat familiar and welcome. When he entrusted his strengthless body to the seat, he felt he could finally live.”
“While starting the engine, Tae Woo checked So Won’s condition. He had forced him along because he was uneasy about sending So Won, who seemed to stagger with weakness from Guiding while frightened, alone, but seeing his pale face made him feel sorry. Even while looking at the finely trembling hands that were frightened of him, his body was happy that So Won was beside him. It was truly ugly.”
“Please tell me the address.”
“Please go to Mirae Apartment in Sindorim. I really can go alone, but….”
“I will depart.”
“Tae Woo did not give So Won a chance to get out of the car. The car departed as if hurrying. In truth, So Won was glad that Tae Woo pretended not to hear his words and let it pass. Because So Won had belatedly realized that his strength-drained legs would not move.”
“Yes…”
“So Won answered a beat late. Even So Won, sitting in the passenger seat right beside him, did not know whether the small muttered voice reached Tae Woo.”
“He could not even feel the vibration of the wheels turning, yet the outside scenery passed by on its own. The soft seat was cozy as if tailored to So Won’s body. As his body grew comfortable, the trembling that would not stop began to gradually disappear.”
“His heart was still not good. So Won still could not forget the gazes of the people who had looked at Tae Woo. If So Won had taken the wheel now, he would surely have caused an accident due to his confused heart. Yet Tae Woo drove smoothly as if nothing had happened. Like a person accustomed to seeing such reactions.”
‘Are you okay, Tae Woo?’
“He wanted to ask him. But So Won did not even have the right to worry about Tae Woo. Because until recently, So Won had been a person just like them.”
“So Won still clearly remembered what expression he had made every time he faced Tae Woo. The past So Won had made an even worse expression than the people who trembled at the sight of Tae Woo. Thick with disgust and fear. As if looking at a monster he truly should not see.”
“In a world where everyone saw him as a monster, he could not be a person for even a moment.”
“Guilt washed over him again. His body was heavy like cotton soaked with water.”
‘I’m sorry, Tae Woo.’
“So Won muttered low. This time, so quietly that he truly could not hear.”
“It was still a little early for quitting time. Thanks to that, the roads were not congested, and they could quickly arrive near home. Tae Woo’s black sedan stopped on the shoulder near the apartment where So Won lived.”
“I will decide the moving date soon and let you know.”
“Understood.”
“Even after opening the door, So Won did not immediately get out of the car. Tae Woo’s gaze turned to So Won, who was hesitating.”
“Thank you for bringing me, Tae Woo.”
“So Won tried to smile, even awkwardly. In front of him, he had always only trembled. He wanted to change little by little from now on.”
“Please get home safely.”
“The dark red blood vessels that looked as if they would move at any moment, and his expressionless face, felt especially heartbreaking today.”