Chi Yingyu’s gaze lingered on Jiang Lai’s flushed sleeping face. Shen Ruxue mouthed “don’t talk,” and she obediently nodded, but her eyes stayed fixed on Shen Ruxue’s fingertips. Chi Yingyu’s fingertips were still lightly brushing Jiang Lai’s palm. After hearing Shen Ruxue’s voice, it seemed she too was lying there with her eyes open, unable to sleep.
Chi Yingyu picked up her own phone and dimmed the brightness to the lowest level so as not to disturb Jiang Lai’s rest. Once only the sound of three steady breaths remained in the room, she slowly turned her head to look at her sister.
Then, she spoke in a small voice she would almost never use in normal circumstances.
If it weren’t for the extreme quiet of the night, at any other time, it wouldn’t even have been audible. Even if someone heard it, they would have just thought they were hearing things.
Shen Ruxue paused mid-motion, lowered her head to look at the tranquil sleeping face in her arms, then turned to look at Chi Yingyu. Only then did she carefully make out that the other had just said “look at the phone.”
Did she want to chat about something?
But if they talked, it would easily disturb Jiang Lai’s rest. With that thought, Shen Ruxue retrieved her own phone from the bedside.
The moment she picked it up, Shen Ruxue saw the message Jiang Lai had sent.
“Today, didn’t we both handle things poorly? Too rash, asking for too much all at once.”
They’d worn Jiang Jiang out so much that she’d fallen straight asleep on the bed.
“We were both too impatient. This is mostly my fault. I was the one who insisted from the start. If I could have waited a little longer, or maybe waited until tomorrow, this wouldn’t have happened.”
After sending that message, Shen Ruxue’s fingertip gently swept through the loose hair on Jiang Lai’s forehead, her eyes full of tenderness.
“Jiang Jiang has a soft temperament and gets shy easily. With the two of us surrounding her, how could she possibly adapt all at once?”
Chi Yingyu gradually felt the warmth in her palm and said softly, “It’s just… just that seeing you holding her made me feel a little uncomfortable inside. I wanted to compete with you, so I didn’t consider Jiang Jiang’s feelings. At the end of the day, I still have a bit of that competitive streak toward you, Sister.”
Chi Yingyu pressed her lips together, tightened her grip on Jiang Lai’s hand, and her fingertips curled slightly with unease.
She paused, nine parts of regret welling up in her heart, and finally sent her sister a sad, remorseful sticker.
“Thinking about it now, her body was stiff as a board just now. She must have been terrified.”
“I’m the same. I was still a little too willful.”
Shen Ruxue let out a soft sigh. Her gaze fell on the reddish outer corner of Jiang Lai’s eye, and she instinctively leaned in to press a kiss there. The movement was so small that Jiang Lai didn’t even notice.
“Just now when I saw you lean in, I didn’t feel great either. I just wanted to be closer to Jiang Jiang, but that just ended up exhausting her more.”
She turned her head to look at Chi Yingyu, a hint of seriousness in her eyes.
“We can’t keep going on like this. We need to find a way where we can both be with Jiang Jiang without making her feel pressured.”
Chi Yingyu’s fingertip hovered above the screen. It was a long while before she slowly typed out the words.
She quietly tilted her head as well. By chance, the moonlight happened to land on the loose hair at Jiang Lai’s temple. That softness made the strength in her fingertips ease a little more, and even the tone of her typing carried a hint of barely perceptible fragility.
“Actually, sometimes I get scared.”
She stared at the blinking cursor on the screen, being honest with herself as if she were wrestling with her own feelings.
“Scared that you’ll spend more time with Jiang Jiang than I do. Scared that she’ll slowly come to remember your warmth. Sister, you’re her first love, and the person she loved most in the past. Even though I know Jiang Jiang would never ignore me, I still can’t help it. I worry, and I think about it. It’s a thought I can’t control.”
The moment she sent it, she instinctively tightened her hold on Jiang Jiang’s hand, but then she felt the faint warmth in Jiang Lai’s palm. She slowly looked up and immediately loosened her grip again—afraid that her force might disturb that peaceful moment.
After a while, Shen Ruxue replied word by word.
“It’s fine, Sister, don’t worry… I can recognize my place right now. And with my current situation, even if I wanted to accompany Jiang Lai, I couldn’t do it for long. Most of the time still belongs to you, so don’t worry…”
She paused, a trace of imperceptible melancholy and sadness passing beneath her eyes.
Because even if the work issue was resolved, at best she could only manage to come once a week. There was no way she could stay by Jiang Lai’s side every day.
“For now, when I’m not around, you’ll be the one accompanying Jiang Lai. Everything from here on is in your hands. I trust you. You can take good care of Jiang Lai.”
Chi Yingyu looked at the reply, and her eyes suddenly felt a little hot. Thinking about the situation her sister was facing now, she felt embarrassed by her earlier thoughts. She was the only one secretly keeping score over those little details of companionship.
She sniffled and tried to make her words seem calm.
“I’m really sorry, Sister. Sometimes when my possessiveness kicks in, I don’t think about things from your position.
I know you’ve been working hard, so from now on, I won’t stop you from anything. If you want to be intimate with Jiang Jiang, you can do it openly in front of me. I don’t mind. I might get a little jealous and a bit possessive, but that’s fine. Sister, you’re someone important to me too.”
Seeing her younger sister’s understanding, Shen Ruxue’s heart felt as if something had filled it—both bittersweet and soft.
She remembered how Chi Yingyu used to trail behind her when she was little, grabbing for the candy in her hand, refusing to take even the slightest loss.
Her younger sister had actually been quite selfish as a child, but that selfishness was just a child’s possessiveness acting up. Now her sister had grown up and matured, but that didn’t mean the selfishness and possessiveness had permanently disappeared from her heart.
Now her sister was willing to share with her, even to speak her mind so frankly. That truly made her feel ashamed of herself.
She lowered her head to look at the slightly pouting corners of Jiang Lai’s mouth in her sleep, then raised her eyes toward where Chi Yingyu was lying. She reached out her hand and gently grasped her younger sister’s shoulder. All the bitterness and emotion hidden in her heart turned into a warm, tender feeling gently surging in her chest.
Shen Ruxue slowly tapped the screen with her other hand, every word carrying a soft warmth.
“How could your sister not know what’s on your mind? You’re my little sister. How could I not understand you?
You’ve always protected the things you love since you were young. Protecting Jiang Jiang now is no different in essence. You just care too much, so you can’t help but keep score.”
She paused, her fingertip lightly sweeping through the loose hair on Jiang Lai’s forehead, her movement as gentle as if she were afraid of disturbing a good dream.
“Actually, I should be the one thanking you. You’re willing to be tolerant of my occasional closeness to Jiang Lai and allow me to earn Jiang Lai’s affection. That’s already more than enough for me.”