Parents worked overtime tonight and wouldn’t be back until very late.
Liu Yinuo ordered takeout. Before eating, she knocked on Ye Xingmian’s door.
Soon, soft footsteps sounded from inside. Moments later, the door was gently opened, and Ye Xingmian poked half her head out, her big round eyes looking at her cautiously.
“I ordered takeout. Do you want some?”
Ye Xingmian gently shook her head.
“N-no… I’m not hungry.”
“You haven’t eaten anything all afternoon.”
Liu Yinuo stared at her calmly.
“It’s fine… I ate a lot at lunch. I don’t need dinner.”
Liu Yinuo was silent for a moment.
“Come out. I have something I want to tell you.”
“Mm… Okay…”
The two of them sat down on the dining chairs one after the other. Liu Yinuo placed Ye Xingmian’s portion of the takeout in front of her.
She hadn’t expected Ye Xingmian to refuse, so she had naturally ordered two portions. Although the actual situation was a bit unexpected, she had still managed to call her out.
However, the silent atmosphere was a bit awkward.
Ye Xingmian was anxiously twisting her fingers under the table when she suddenly heard Liu Yinuo speak.
“Did you understand everything I taught you yesterday?”
“I… I think so…”
Her tone was full of uncertainty.
Liu Yinuo didn’t scold her for being stupid, nor did she blame her for learning slowly. She just glanced away, looking at the neon lights flickering outside the window.
“Five months left,” she said.
“Mm…”
Ye Xingmian nodded timidly.
If she performed normally, Liu Yinuo could get into Kyoto University, the country’s premier institution.
“There’s not enough time,” she said again.
“Huh? N-not enough?”
Ye Xingmian looked up at her uneasily.
Liu Yinuo’s tone was flat, as if stating a fact.
“At this pace, you won’t catch up to my grades.”
“Ah… Mm…”
Ye Xingmian nodded woodenly, then became dejected.
“I can’t do it… I’m sorry… I’m too stupid, I can’t learn anything…”
Liu Yinuo didn’t answer for a long time.
She didn’t think Ye Xingmian was stupid; sometimes she even thought Ye Xingmian was quite smart.
But the traces left on her by her past were too heavy. Backing down had become a habit; confidence was the greatest luxury for her.
She was constantly affecting Liu Yinuo’s mood.
Compared to her own grades, what she really cared about was actually Liu Yinuo.
In the past, she had liked this trait in Ye Xingmian. But now, this trait had become a burden.
Liu Yinuo couldn’t say whether this was a strength or a weakness.
She very much hoped Ye Xingmian could become confident, but at the same time, she didn’t want that.
Because she understood that if that really happened, Ye Xingmian would no longer be the person she knew.
What she liked was this soft, humble, always cautious girl who, in unguarded moments, instinctively wanted to get close to her—like a kitten.
Not…
So, did she actually want Ye Xingmian to get into a good university?
She asked herself, and spent the entire afternoon pondering this.
The answer she finally arrived at chilled her.
The answer was no.
Yes, no.
She did not want Ye Xingmian to be on equal footing with her.
Although she wanted Ye Xingmian to improve, to show more smiles, and to stop blindly keeping her distance.
But at the same time, she was enjoying it—enjoying the feeling of controlling everything about this girl.
The reason she had lost control at noon was precisely because that person who belonged to her had been given something she had no recollection of by someone else, and had accepted it happily.
She could even sense that Ye Xingmian felt a hint of reluctance toward Lin Ziyan.
She didn’t understand, really didn’t understand.
When Liu Yinuo had treated her like that, when she was such a nasty, awful person, why did Ye Xingmian repeatedly give that person chances?
Was the lesson from last time not enough?
She was protecting, but also controlling.
Now, she was acting to satisfy her own desire for control.
She vaguely realized this and felt no guilt, only a sudden clarity.
She thought that Ye Xingmian probably wouldn’t reject her either.
“If you don’t get in, what do you plan to do?”
Liu Yinuo turned her head and demanded.
Ye Xingmian carefully raised her head to glance at her, crossing her hands and placing them nervously on her lap.
This should have been a clear answer, but now she was hesitating.
After all, what happened at noon made her feel she owed Liu Yinuo too much. If she did something to wrong her again…
“I… I don’t know…”
The desire to see her mother was very strong.
But at the same time, she wanted to stay by Liu Yinuo’s side.
If she really couldn’t get in, maybe there was another path…
Apart from leaving with her mother and going to another place to attend university, apart from being separated from Liu Yinuo, there was the option of giving up on further studies and living with Liu Yinuo like a maid.
She herself could actually accept that.
But what about her mother?
Her mother had waited so long, hoping she would go to university, hoping for them to reunite and live together.
If such a change occurred, would she be disappointed?
Moreover, living as a burden to others put a lot of psychological pressure on her.
Maybe that really was a good path?
But Ye Xingmian couldn’t bring herself to say it.
This was the best answer she could think of.
So she answered:
“I don’t know.”
It was hard to decide such a weighty matter.
Escaping, leaving the problem for the other person to think about—that was her habit.
“Aren’t you going to reunite with your mother?”
Liu Yinuo said in a deep voice.
“Huh? But…”
Ye Xingmian remembered that day’s experience at the hospital.
She had suddenly fainted, and then at the bedside, she had said those words that were almost a hidden confession to Liu Yinuo.
Wanting to go to the same university as Liu Yinuo was also her hope.
Wasn’t it the same for Liu Yinuo?
Why would she say such a thing…
“If you really can’t get in, then just leave with your mother. Don’t sacrifice your future for me.”
Liu Yinuo turned her head away.
She didn’t want to say these words herself; she just tried to hold back so that the other person wouldn’t notice.
Ye Xingmian was stunned. She hadn’t expected Liu Yinuo to say that.
“But…”
“There are no buts. The food is getting cold. Hurry up and eat.”
“Okay.”
After eating, the two took baths one after the other.
After the lights were turned off, Ye Xingmian went back to her room to rest.
Liu Yinuo’s parents were especially busy these days leading up to the New Year. They often worked overtime until the early hours and came home, then left early the next day without being seen.
So, for now, it was just the two of them in this house.
Wearing the pajamas Liu Yinuo had given her, Ye Xingmian lay on the bed, holding the toy bear that Lin Ziyan had sent, staring blankly.
The curtains were open.
Outside the window, high-rises were clustered, neon lights flickered, a bustling city.
Tomorrow she still had to attend tutoring with Liu Yinuo; logically, she should sleep early.
But she couldn’t sleep.
She knew that continuing tutoring probably wouldn’t help much anymore.
Although it still had meaning.
But she had fallen into confusion.
“Dong dong.”
The sound of a knock came from the door.
Liu Yinuo occasionally came to sleep with her, and she had gotten used to it.
So she got out of bed to open the door.
Liu Yinuo at the door was holding a pillow, her expression somewhat subdued.
Ye Xingmian knew she was in low spirits, so she didn’t say anything, just stepped aside to let her in.
Liu Yinuo threw herself onto the bed.
After she closed the door, she lay down next to Liu Yinuo.
She hugged her own stuffed bear, and Liu Yinuo quietly hugged her from behind.
Their soft, tender bodies pressed tightly together.
“You really love your mother… even though you’ve hardly seen her, and she doesn’t seem to care much about you.”
“Mm…”
Ye Xingmian’s gaze dimmed slightly.
“Because… I have a reason I must see her.”