Why?
Why did she keep cycling through the dream, with that man always lingering in her mind, impossible to forget?
From a mere observer to personally experiencing that sweetness and pain, and from confusion gradually shifting to shock and uncertainty.
Meanwhile, her belly swelled day by day.
Now, just sitting for a short while made her whole body feel weak and sore.
And then there was the misery of morning sickness…
But compared to all that, what she cared about more was Qin Nanfeng.
Waiting for him to come home every day had become her routine.
Yet the more ordinary and happy it was, the more uneasy she felt inside.
Too many facts, too many coincidences.
Though she still couldn’t see the person in her dreams clearly, they all pointed toward that guy she liked so much.
“…”
Even though the girl already had an answer in her heart, she still didn’t dare to believe it or face it…
Every night, while Qin Nanfeng wasn’t paying attention, she secretly observed him.
She wanted to deceive herself.
But gradually, a terrifying thought appeared in her heart.
Was she… herself, or the “her” in the dream?
Everything was so coincidental, as if it had all been arranged…
Feng Ge… Are you… that person?
What should she do…
Lin Xinyuan was lost and anguished, but in the end, she didn’t dare speak out.
Yet she vaguely understood that she seemed to have been caught in Qin Nanfeng’s trap all along…
Li Xue’er… the comfort on the stairway…
Everything, everything, seemed like it had been arranged, making her feel terrified.
But still, she could truly feel the man’s love, that emotion was not fake…
Fear and love intertwined, accompanied by a sudden trace of resentment that began to erode her heart like poison.
And so, gradually, Lin Xinyuan uncontrollably wanted to distance herself from Qin Nanfeng. Even her usual words became fewer.
Qin Nanfeng noticed the girl’s reaction, but instead of forcing her, he went along with it.
The man understood that his plan was finally going to fall apart completely.
When his little wife found out everything, what would she think?
He didn’t know either…
The only thing he could do was not break up with her. It was impossible to let go!
To be honest, Qin Nanfeng couldn’t tell whether he was Qin Nanfeng or that person… Or perhaps both…
But no matter what, his love for Xiaoyuan was absolutely not false.
Even if it had started under the influence of that consciousness, the moment he truly established a relationship with Lin Xinyuan, he knew he was no longer that person.
In a sense, he had already broken free.
He was just himself, a man who had fallen in love with Xiaoyuan. Nothing more…
……
May. The air was humid tonight. Dark clouds suddenly gathered over Tianbei City, and the surrounding area began to rain, gradually forming a downpour.
Thunder and lightning flashed. Raindrops pattered against the ground like knives, drumming loudly—especially harsh in the night.
In the bedroom, the girl twisted uneasily, moaning softly.
“No…”
“Please… Feng Ge…”
“I’m not a transgender person… I’m not…”
“…”
As time passed, her voice grew more sorrowful and weak.
Her already wan little face, haggard from pregnancy, was twisted with unspeakable pain.
Her whole body trembled. Endless cold rushed toward her, completely enveloping her like an endless cage.
She could only huddle weakly. The thin blanket covering her provided no warmth.
This wasn’t any physical cold—it was a despair emanating from within.
But because of her already bulging belly, every movement was excruciating, as if crushed by a boulder.
The habit she had formed during this time prevented her from turning on her side, afraid of hurting the life about to be born.
Two emotions fought within her, and she could only cower between them, enduring this suffering.
Outside, the sky was already pitch black, as if brewing something.
An indescribable sense of oppression filled the air.
The heavens grew darker. The dark clouds visibly swirled.
The city’s neon lights were dimmer than usual by more than one degree—eerily strange.
Bang—
Suddenly, a flash of purple light streaked across the sky.
The entire room was illuminated as bright as day by the light that pierced through the window.
Almost immediately, a thunderous roar, like an angry growl, drilled into the girl’s ears with lightning speed.
In an instant, she snapped her eyes open, her gaze full of terror.
“Ah! No…!”
Lin Xinyuan was so frightened she sat up quickly, even though it was very difficult.
She clutched the blanket tightly, not daring to look at her surroundings.
She just covered her little face. The darkness made her fearful; the thunderstorm made her tremble.
The gloomy air pressed down on her like seawater, making it impossible to breathe.
Beside her, Qin Nanfeng had been sleeping lightly lately because his little wife frequently woke up with morning sickness at night.
Hearing that terrified scream, he woke up instantly. He saw the person beside him curled up, her slender shoulders trembling endlessly.
Her soft, helpless sobbing echoed in his ears, striking his heart again and again, making him shudder.
“Xiaoyuan?”
Qin Nanfeng’s voice was hoarse. Seeming to realize something, he asked in a gentle tone, but did not take the initiative to touch Lin Xinyuan.
Hearing this, the girl twitched violently, and her crying slowly stopped.
But strangely, she did not immediately lift her head. She just kept her head down, silent.
Seeing this, Qin Nanfeng’s heart sank. That premonition grew stronger.
His eyes flickered continuously. He wanted to speak, but stopped himself.
In the end, he remained silent, just waiting.
At this moment, time seemed to stop between them. There was no longer any sense of time passing.
Only the increasingly loud sound of rain outside echoed, proving that time was indeed flowing.
“Why…”
This was her murmur, very soft—so soft that if you weren’t listening carefully, you might miss it.
But in the current environment, it was especially clear.
“Obviously… obviously you didn’t want me anymore… why did you come looking for me…”
Lin Xinyuan wasn’t hysterical, but her voice trembled more and more at the end.
At the same time, the small hands holding the blanket gradually tightened until her fingers turned white.
Her tone was both puzzled and sorrowful.
“Monster… I’m a disgusting transgender person… wah…”
She kept muttering. Though her voice was weak, she was babbling like a madwoman, making people feel uneasy.
With every word the girl said, the man felt as if his heart was being sliced by a knife, more painful than ever.
This mental suffering was far worse than any physical pain.
“Xiaoyuan…”
“Say it!” Lin Xinyuan suddenly raised her voice, filled with grief. She finally lifted her face, which was already wet with tears.
Unlike before, when she looked at Qin Nanfeng with love and shyness, there was now a sudden, age-inappropriate weariness in her eyes.
She stared at the man, her gaze full of despair, hatred, but actually more of an uncontrollable love.
Various emotions clashed, but in the end, she only hated herself.
Why couldn’t she always be a girl? Why…
Why did she have to have such a family? It would have been better to just die.
“…”
Her once sweet face twisted slightly.
The thought of self-harm was like an invisible executioner, tempting her to do something stimulating or even crazy, to ease that painful memory.
Those laughs, contempt, insults… Everything now gnawed at her mind.
What she had thought was a glimmer of hope and light turned out to be the final straw that crushed her.