“Feng Ge… I only have you left… Don’t… don’t leave me! You can’t abandon me, okay?”
The woman’s whole body was trembling. She hugged the man’s waist tightly, murmuring incessantly.
Her expression was frantic, her face filled with terror—the kind of panic that comes from fearing the disappearance of something most important.
“Please…”
“Xiaoyuan, we both need to calm down… I… let’s give each other some time…” The handsome man’s expression was complicated. There was love in his eyes, but even more disbelief.
The fragile state of the person in his arms was all too obvious. He couldn’t help but hesitate inwardly.
But thinking of the boy in that photo, overlapping with the tear-streaked, delicate little face before him now, he felt betrayed, and also a faint, nauseating sensation.
He wanted to throw up…
After a long moment, the man’s face struggled, but his lips moved slightly, his eyes filled with confusion.
“Sorry… I have things to deal with at the company… I’m leaving first…”
With that, he began to pull at the woman’s slender arm.
“No… no…” The woman still struggled bitterly, her lovely face full of grief, shaking her head continuously.
In the woman’s despairing eyes, the man gritted his teeth and gently pried her fingers away. “Let’s calm down for a while…”
Then he turned around, not daring to look back, stepping away with a conflicted heart, leaving this once warm home.
He didn’t know why he was doing this…
He clearly loved her so much, but upon learning the truth, he still felt deceived…
The feeling of deception… was painful…
Ever since he had been played by that person, he had sworn never to be deceived again!
He never expected that in the end… it would be the person he loved most who did it.
Heh…
The first time was like that, and the second time was the same…
The woman seemed to see the disgust in the man’s eyes at the last moment. Her thin body trembled violently.
The steps she was about to take to follow him stopped abruptly. She touched her face, then quickly pulled her hand away as if touching something dirty, disgusted.
At that moment, those once sparkling almond-shaped eyes were now a dull gray. She collapsed to the ground.
Just before leaving, the man heard her soft, obedient murmur, but he never imagined it would be forever.
“Okay…”
“I know…”
……
“Sorry… sir… we did our best…”
The rescue team had successfully brought back the person who jumped into the river, but what they brought was not good news—a despair too late to save.
“Mm… Thank you…”
Upon hearing the news, the man felt strangely calm. His voice was low as he thanked the rescue team for their efforts.
Staring at the thin, petite figure on the stretcher, he didn’t know what he felt.
Clearly, the woman had died painfully by drowning, yet her expression showed no struggle, even… relief…
Her overly pale little face was like a doll’s, peaceful as if she were just asleep.
Only the skin, already slightly purplish, revealed the truth.
She was gone.
Not only that, but what made the man even more dazed was what the medical examiner told him after the examination:
“She died from drowning. The fetus in the womb… was already one month along. Sir, please… accept my condolences…”
“…”
The man’s expression was dazed, then blank.
He felt he was so heartless, unable even to cry, like a robot, not human at all…
“I understand… I…”
“I understand…”
“I don’t…”
“No…”
……
At the funeral, the person surrounded by wreaths was made up with delicate makeup, wearing the clothes the owner liked best in life.
A… very ordinary white dress…
But really, the man knew it wasn’t because the woman liked it—it was because that was what she wore when they first met, and he fell in love at first sight.
Back then, the girl had only worn it reluctantly for the generous compensation from his older sister’s company model recruitment; she didn’t actually like it.
It was only later, after they fell in love and he expressed his liking, that the girl was willing to wear it.
She even bought several more because of it.
But he never expected… this dress had brought them together, and now it marked their eternal parting…
The girl’s cheeks were powdered with blush, seemingly no different from when she was alive.
But soon, this beauty would be completely burned, leaving only a small urn of ashes.
She would be gone from this world forever.
The funeral ended quickly. The man met the girl’s mother, whom he had never seen before—a middle-aged woman who looked very much like the girl.
“I’m sorry, Auntie… I didn’t take good care of her…”
At this moment, facing the girl’s biological mother, the man didn’t know what to say.
He couldn’t argue; it was his fault. If not for him… she wouldn’t have committed suicide…
And… their child…
He couldn’t even forgive himself, so how could he expect her biological mother to forgive him?
But unexpectedly, the woman didn’t curse him as he had imagined.
Her smile remained serene, though the bitterness at the corners of her mouth was hard to hide.
“I don’t blame you… As her biological mother, I never cared for her. It’s all my fault…”
“I…” Qin Nanfeng wanted to say something, but the words stuck in his throat, unable to come out, as if glued shut.
“Take care…” The serene woman finally shook her head and silently walked away.
But he could clearly see that her figure had gradually hunched over, as if she had lost all her strength…
……
The man’s family naturally learned of the girl’s tragic news.
He confessed the whole story without any defense for himself.
It no longer mattered.
His father pointed at his nose and cursed him harshly, while his mother, though partial, also showed dissatisfaction and disappointment in her eyes.
His parents started arguing again. His older sister gradually distanced herself from him.
When he saw his grandfather again, the old man shook his head at him and said no more, but guilt radiated from within.
He seemed to have aged a bit…
Life seemed to return to normal…
But for the man, the once warm home became a place he would never dare to visit.
He… had no home…
In the days that followed, during the day, he was the glamorous Boss Qin, respected by everyone.
But at night, he drowned his sorrows in drink, sometimes getting beaten black and blue by a group of thugs…
Seven years passed in the blink of an eye.
That year, the man was thirty-three. He never went home for the New Year anymore.
The person who used to go back with him for the countdown was gone. What was the point of going back?
Logically, after so long, he should have moved on.
But he simply couldn’t move on. And how dare he?
For an instant, he thought maybe he should just die. That way, he could go see her, right?
No… better not… he wasn’t worthy…
Finally, one time, after getting drunk again, he was dazed and dizzy.
He eventually gave in to those “hypocritical” longings.
He went back to that place filled with traces of their life together.
It was terrifyingly unfamiliar. The long-untended house no longer held its former warmth; instead, it exuded cold and decay…
The man moved unhurriedly, wanting to look at everything carefully, his expression blank the whole time.
Until he reached the bedroom. He saw the slightly faded photo on the nightstand—the girl with a sweet smile leaning in his arms.
His eyes, which had never shed tears since high school—not even when his ex-girlfriend had deceived him—finally could no longer hold back.
His face, usually carefree and superficial, completely crumbled. Drop by drop, tears fell from the corners of his eyes.
He… regretted it…
The next two days, the man stopped going to the company and locked himself in the house.
In the bedroom, he went through everything of theirs, every little detail.
Until by chance, from the bottom drawer of the desk, hidden under everything, he pulled out several medical reports. They clearly stated a fact.
“Advanced Depressive Disorder”
That was when he realized his Xiaoyuan had been hiding something from him…
But he had no more tears to shed. A bitter smile touched the corners of his lips.
Then, as he continued flipping through, a jade bracelet suddenly rolled out with a clatter.
It caught his attention.
This object…
The man had seen it before. It seemed he had seen the girl wear it a few times.
This was something she had left behind.
With that thought, he unhesitatingly tucked it into his chest, feeling the bracelet’s warmth, as if holding the soft girl.
Time seemed to freeze. The whole world fell silent. He just stayed like that, his mind full of the girl as she was in life.
Her every smile, every frown, her joys and sorrows flashed before his eyes like a revolving lantern, yet he could never grasp them…
Suddenly, a green light flashed from the jade bracelet. At the same time, the lights in the room went out.
In a daze, he actually saw his girl…
“Xiao…yuan… Am I dreaming?”
Like a dried-up fish, he was listless, but he immediately stood up, even though his lips were cracked from two days without water.
But seeing the girl before him, who was smiling and glowing faintly, he instantly felt something was wrong. He shook his head repeatedly.
“No… You’re not Xiaoyuan…”
“Yes.” Astonishingly, the other responded. Her voice was extremely ethereal, not like a living being’s.
Without waiting for his answer, she continued, “Do you want to start over? Start anew, get to know her again, or perhaps you don’t want to know her, break free from the original path—the choice is yours.”
Her words were a question, but her tone was affirmative, as if she had anticipated the man’s thoughts.
The man just let out a self-deprecating laugh and slumped back onto the dusty floor. “It must be a dream…”
But already in despair, he couldn’t help imagining that scene.
“But if I could really start over, how wonderful would that be… Even if I were the one to die…”
“It can be arranged.”
Hearing that emotionless voice, he just closed his eyes indifferently and lay on the ground.
“It doesn’t matter… Anyway…”
But as soon as he finished speaking, his body suddenly felt a weightless sensation.
He jolted upright, trying to open his eyes, but he found that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t.
Then, a playful voice full of emotion, different from before, entered his ears. “Hmph… I hope you really can do it…”
As soon as the voice fell, the man felt his body lighten.
At the same time, the long-standing fatigue and the stomach pain from prolonged irregular eating completely disappeared…
The darkness lasted who knows how long—
When he finally could open his eyes, he saw a glaring streetlamp, so bright it hurt his eyes.
It was night. Beside a wooden bench on the street, a pitiful girl forced a reluctant smile at him.
But in his view, it was so disgusting and fake.
“Goodbye… Qin Nanfeng…”
With that, the sweet girl walked away, looking back every few steps.
But staring blankly at the departing figure in the darkness, he felt no pain at all. He got up from the bench and walked away in the opposite direction.
“What am I supposed to do?”
Walking alone on the street, the young man was lost. But suddenly, a thought popped into his mind…
“It feels like… I’m looking for someone…”
“Who… is she?”
“Very important…”
“……”