The next morning.
The campus, on the verge of winter vacation, was tinged with restlessness. The weather remained cold. Lin Ziyan walked along the road, exhaling a puff of hot air onto her hands.
‘So cold…’
It wasn’t even the end of the year yet. In a few days, it would probably get even colder.
The snow had melted cleanly, but the sky was still gray and hazy, making people feel uneasy. The sunlight fell on her without any warmth; instead, it carried a lingering chill.
There were many groups of students walking along the roadside. Most of them were chatting and laughing, but a few walked alone. In the past, Lin Ziyan wouldn’t have felt anything special about this. But coming back to school today, she felt an inexplicable unease.
Silently, carrying her schoolbag, she made her way to her classroom.
She quietly swept her gaze around, but didn’t spot Liu Yinuo or Ye Xingmian.
‘Still not here? It’s almost time for class, isn’t it?’
She pursed her lips and sat down in her seat. The spot next to her was empty.
Originally, she had chosen to move here just to annoy Liu Yinuo. Now it seemed that hadn’t been a very wise decision.
She opened her schoolbag and glanced inside. Two phones lay there—one was hers, the other Ye Xingmian’s.
Now she wanted to give it back to Ye Xingmian. Even if Ye Xingmian didn’t come home in the future, she could still send messages to bother her?
‘Why did I say bother…’
‘I just want to talk to her…’
Last night, she had secretly added Ye Xingmian as a friend on her phone.
A hint of unease gnawed at her heart. She looked at Ye Xingmian’s seat once more.
‘She’s not going to skip school today, is she?’
***
Time ticked by, minute by minute. Her heart grew colder, filled with a sense of foreboding.
Finally…
Class began.
The homeroom teacher stormed into the classroom as usual.
“Today the class monitor is still sick. If anything comes up, the discipline committee member will fill in. Everyone, open your textbooks and look at the problem we didn’t finish last week. Clear?”
Lin Ziyan’s foreboding came true. Almost instinctively, she raised her hand.
“Hmm? Lin Ziyan? What is it?”
“I… I… my sister? Why didn’t she come today?”
The homeroom teacher raised an eyebrow.
“She called in sick today. Shouldn’t you, as her younger sister, know that?”
“I… uh… may I ask… did the class monitor make the call for her?”
“That’s right. The monitor’s parent called me on video. You don’t need to worry about that.”
The teacher looked impatient.
“If there’s nothing else, sit down and focus on the lesson.”
“O-okay.”
For the rest of that class, Lin Ziyan couldn’t concentrate at all.
She could feel many pairs of eyes secretly staring at her. The emotions in those eyes were a mix of curiosity, confusion, and something she couldn’t quite name… disdain?
‘I don’t get it…’
But she didn’t care.
What she cared about more was the fact that Ye Xingmian hadn’t come today.
‘Why didn’t she come? Was she really sick? Or was Liu Yinuo forcing her to stay at her house? After all, something similar happened with Qin Haiyue before.’
‘But is that possible?’
The Liu Yinuo in Lin Ziyan’s memory didn’t seem like that kind of person at all.
‘Keeping someone locked up… it’s hard to imagine she would do something like that.’
‘Is she trying to avoid me?’
‘Right. I did that to her the day before yesterday. She must be really scared of me now, isn’t she?’
‘To avoid seeing me, she asked Liu Yinuo to take a leave for her.’
Lin Ziyan felt dazed.
‘I’m sorry. It’s my fault.’
‘Please come back soon. I want to apologize to you.’
‘I don’t expect forgiveness. I just want her to know that I’m reflecting on what I did.’
‘Even if there’s only a sliver of a chance to atone…’
‘She’ll come back eventually, right?’
‘I can still see Ye Xingmian.’
And so, the morning passed.
Lin Ziyan’s phone, which she had kept in her schoolbag all morning, was never given away. The person she was waiting for never came back.
She didn’t eat at school. This time, she chose to go home.
She wanted to charge the phone and carefully clean it. Even though it was a new phone, she hoped doing these little things would let Ye Xingmian feel her sincerity.
There was no food at home. She didn’t know how to cook, so she bought something from a street stall and planned to eat it at home.
But when she reached the front door, it was open.
That meant someone was inside.
Someone inside wasn’t a problem, as long as it wasn’t a thief or a robber.
But Lin Ziyan stopped involuntarily when she heard the sound of arguing from inside.
It was her father and mother.
‘Are they fighting? Why…’
After listening for a while, she gathered that it was about the leave they had taken yesterday afternoon. They had been penalized, losing the bonus they were supposed to get. Now they were blaming each other and shifting responsibility.
Of course, that wasn’t all. It was just the spark.
They then talked about Ye Xingmian, accusing each other of being too harsh in driving her away on the spot. Now no one was doing household chores, and no one was taking care of Lin Ziyan. At that point, they blamed each other for Lin Ziyan’s recent cold attitude.
In short, that was about it.
After listening for a long time, Lin Ziyan didn’t know what she was feeling anymore.
She was still holding her lunch in her hand. In the cold winter wind, just that short time was enough for it to cool down a lot.
The schoolbag on her shoulder also seemed heavier.
She pursed her lips and hesitated for a moment about whether to go in.
‘So… the core reason for all this unhappiness is actually me?’
‘It’s just my persistence, my impulsiveness, that made everything start to change.’
‘It’s as if the peaceful life I once had began to crumble the moment I made that move.’
‘But did I do something wrong?’
‘Actually, I don’t think I did.’
‘I like “Big Sister.” I want Big Sister to stay with me. That’s all.’
‘Maybe I’m being childish…’
She finally walked in.
When her parents saw her come home, they immediately stopped arguing.
Her mother greeted her with a smile. Her father said he had already made lunch.
Actually, Lin Ziyan didn’t need to buy lunch outside, because after that incident, her parents had been coming home at noon more often.
She had just gotten used to thinking that no one would be home at noon.
Just like the day before yesterday…
This time, she didn’t put on a sour face, but she wasn’t talkative either. She ate lunch in silence and answered her parents’ questions about Ye Xingmian, letting them know that Ye Xingmian hadn’t actually disappeared or died, but was indeed staying at a classmate’s house.
“Well, that’s good. She’d better not come back. It saves us the cost of rice, and it’ll help Ziyan learn to fend for herself!”
That was what her mother said.
Lin Ziyan didn’t answer.
***
After eating, she silently went to school and attended classes for the entire afternoon.
During that time, she even ran into Qin Haiyue.
Qin Haiyue looked very angry. She came looking for Ye Xingmian. When she saw Ye Xingmian wasn’t there, she dragged Lin Ziyan out and demanded to know where Ye Xingmian had gone.
After a moment of silence, Lin Ziyan shook her head.
“I don’t know.”
That was what she said.
Luckily, Qin Haiyue let her go and didn’t press further.
‘Maybe Qin Haiyue also felt that wasting time on her was pointless.’
In the evening, Lin Ziyan walked home alone.
The house was empty. Her parents were still at work and hadn’t come back.
She warmed up some food, ate, took a shower, and then lay down on her bed.
Holding the toy bear, certain fragments seemed to float before her eyes again.