She instinctively withdrew her hand. Xu Ruobing’s body stiffened sharply, the arm looped around Jiang Lai’s neck turning faintly white from the strain.
She buried her face in the warm hollow of Jiang Lai’s neck, the tip of her nose brushing against the soft collar of the other’s shirt. But she no longer nuzzled greedily like before, because now she was facing her own heart, thinking about how she should answer—whether to reply honestly or choose an answer that would make everyone happy.
But in the end, Xu Ruobing still faced her heart.
“I do. Of course I want to be with you. If I didn’t want to be with you, if I didn’t deeply like you, why would I have done so many things…”
Her voice was even softer than before, like cotton wool about to scatter in the wind. She paused as soon as the words left her mouth, her throat rolling gently, and swallowed the rest of her sentence back down.
“I really want to be with you.”
‘How could I not want to?’
‘From the first time I saw Jiang Lai alone and sad in the bar, I wanted to get closer to her.’
When Xu Ruobing thought of Jiang Lai, everything they had been through—those tiny moments like stars—had long filled the bottom of her heart.
She wanted to be with Jiang Lai, but the person by Jiang Lai’s side now was Chi Yingyu.
After knowing she couldn’t be the only one, Xu Ruobing tried hard to let go, to stop herself from thinking about what she could no longer have.
She lowered her expectations, even thinking it would be enough to stay in contact, meet occasionally, chat.
Now Jiang Lai asked,
“Do you want to be with me?”
She suddenly panicked.
Xu Ruobing didn’t dare to answer, because Chi Yingyu was by Jiang Lai’s side now—they were a couple.
But why would Jiang Lai say this to her? Was it sincere, or testing her?
Xu Ruobing couldn’t figure it out. Her feelings now were a mix of anticipation and fear.
She slowly lifted her head. Her eyes were still red, the moisture on her lashes not yet dry, and she stared straight into Jiang Lai’s eyes.
Jiang Lai’s gaze was soft, wrapped in warm water, clearly reflecting her image.
“But…”
Xu Ruobing’s fingertips gently brushed against Jiang Lai’s collar, her nails unconsciously picking at the fabric, her voice carrying a hint of grievance she didn’t even notice herself, “Even if I want to, there’s no way, right? Haven’t you… already proposed to Chi Yingyu?”
After saying that, she lowered her head, no longer daring to meet Jiang Lai’s gaze. She felt as if her heart was being tightly squeezed by a hand, and the pain made her breathing shallow.
She waited for Jiang Lai’s answer.
Even if it was just “I was just asking” or “What’s between us has nothing to do with you,” she could accept it.
But Jiang Lai didn’t speak immediately. She just raised a hand and gently tousled her hair. The warmth of her palm seeped through the strands, making Xu Ruobing’s nose tingle again.
“Ruobing…”
Jiang Lai’s voice was even softer than before, carrying a hint of helplessness, “But I can’t bear to see you sad.”
Xu Ruobing blinked. The tears on her lashes fell, hitting Jiang Lai’s hand. The cold touch made Jiang Lai’s fingers tremble.
She wanted to believe Jiang Lai’s words, but the hesitation in her heart was like a small thorn, making her uncomfortable. She was afraid Jiang Lai was just saying this to comfort her.
Besides, she didn’t need to be pathetic enough to accept handouts.
But in this regard, all her strength vanished just by looking at Jiang Lai. Only a timid anticipation remained.
“Really?” Xu Ruobing’s fingers gently hooked Jiang Lai’s, her fingertips exerting a little force. “You’re not lying to me?”
Jiang Lai held her hand back, deliberately wrapping her cold fingers in her palm, brought them to her lips to breathe warm air, then rubbed them repeatedly with her palm. The tenderness of the action softened Xu Ruobing’s heart.
“I’m not lying.”
Jiang Lai lowered her head, her forehead touching Xu Ruobing’s, the tip of her nose gently rubbing against the other’s. Her voice was full of sincerity. “Ruobing, you’re really important to me. Really, really super important. You’re someone I simply can’t let go of.”
“I understand…”
Xu Ruobing now roughly understood why Jiang Lai wanted to say such things to her, and why she wanted to be with her.
Was it because she wanted to be with her at the same time?
Xu Ruobing looked into Jiang Lai’s eyes. Her image was clearly reflected there, with no evasion.
It seemed Jiang Lai had thought about this for a very long time before reaching this conclusion. It wasn’t a capricious decision.
But she still didn’t dare to nod immediately.
She was also afraid this was just temporary tenderness, afraid that once she fell in, she would never climb out.
“But…”
She bit her lower lip, which was still faintly red from their earlier kiss.
“I’m afraid… afraid you’ll regret it later.”
“I won’t regret it…”
Jiang Lai raised a hand to support the back of her neck, her fingertips gently rubbing her cold earlobe, her voice soft enough to squeeze out water.
“Ruobing, I know what you’re worried about. But I want to tell you, I’ll pay the price for my choices, for my decisions. No matter what happens in the future, I’ll find a way to deal with it.”
“You should give up on me. How important am I in your heart that you would betray Chi Yingyu…”
Xu Ruobing’s heartbeat suddenly accelerated. Her cheeks instantly burned, even the tips of her ears turning red.
For some reason, Xu Ruobing now felt her mood was incredibly thrilling. There was an indescribable pleasure all over her body.
She knew this was wrong, but the decision Jiang Lai made to choose her, to want to be with her, gave her a sense of smugness she couldn’t put into words.
‘Am I a little too shameless?’
Xu Ruobing knew this was wrong, and she could feel in her heart that she wanted to agree.
She was also a thoroughly bad woman, a bad woman who would even want to destroy someone else’s relationship.
“I… I need some time.”
Xu Ruobing’s voice carried a hint of uncertainty, but it was more determined than before.
“I want to think about it some more.”
Jiang Lai gently nodded, then lowered her head to kiss the top of her hair. The movement was delicate, as if cherishing fragile treasure.
“Okay, I’ll wait for you. You can also say no. No matter what decision you make, I’ll wait for you.”
“Okay…”
Xu Ruobing buried her face deeper, the tip of her nose brushing against Jiang Lai’s collar, greedily inhaling the familiar scent.
She knew she had actually wanted to nod long ago. It was just that the little knot in her heart hadn’t yet untied, because she still couldn’t get past that hurdle in her mind.
However, Xu Ruobing understood herself very well.
She was a bad woman.
If she were truly a moral, principled good woman, she wouldn’t have been so close to Jiang Lai when Jiang Lai already had a partner.
To some extent, Jiang Lai’s decision now was the result of her own seduction, and something she had secretly hoped for all along.