‘Stop.’
Rinna silently murmured that in her heart.
Then she stuffed this thought together with the “Fear Invasion” she had just been kicked out of into a tiny corner deep in her mind, pressing it down with willpower.
‘Then the second question is: If I really marry Xiao Xiao, who is the 1 and who is the 0?’
The starting point of this question was actually the chain reaction from earlier: “sexual orientation didn’t change, but the body did.”
Rinna turned this question over and over in her heart, feeling she couldn’t escape a cruel objective fact…
Her own physique.
On the other hand, Xiao Xiao…
‘Every single cell of her body is saying, “I’m the 1.”‘
No matter how Rinna reasoned it out, she felt she would be easily pushed down and pinned beneath Hisaki without any hope of resistance.
The only resistance she could offer was probably to lightly punch Hisaki’s shoulder with her fist when Hisaki was untying her bathrobe buttons.
Then Hisaki probably wouldn’t even notice her fist; she’d just feel something lightly touch her collarbone and continue focusing on undoing the buttons one by one.
But she also wanted to be the 1.
Not the domineering kind that presses someone down on the bed and makes them breathless, but that she could also be the one to actively protect the other… just like tonight, holding Hisaki in her arms, letting her sleep peacefully without worrying about anything.
She wanted to see Xiao Xiao curled up like this in her arms. She wanted to watch Hisaki’s barely opened eyes flutter gently in the morning light, then plant a good morning kiss on her forehead that wouldn’t disturb her dreams.
But her current physical condition wouldn’t allow it.
Her arms would ache just from holding Hisaki too long, let alone any more proactive actions.
‘But wait…’
‘If my body recovers through the system in the future, wouldn’t the situation be different?’
‘But at least it would no longer be at the “could break at any moment” level.’
‘Then can I act tougher in front of Hisaki?’
‘For example, pushing Hisaki against the wall for a wall slam?’
Hisaki was probably half a head taller than her, so for a wall slam she would have to stand on tiptoe…
No, if she stood on tiptoe, before she could even hold the position for a few seconds, the other might have her knees go weak and kneel down directly.
After kneeling, not only would the wall slam fail, but it would also make Hisaki think she was having her period again…
‘Okay, that image doesn’t work.’
Rinna opened her eyes and looked at the person in her arms.
Hisaki was quiet as a little baby.
A little wolf cub shivering in the winter wind, shedding its bestial nature after a day of hunting and territory marking, burrowing into its owner’s arms, burying its face into that warm armpit that had a reassuring scent, the corner of its mouth curling up slightly in sleep, as if dreaming of something good.
Her eyelashes lay obediently on her eyelids, her lips lightly pressed together, her sleeping face so serene it had nothing to do with the domineering images Rinna had just imagined.
Rinna stared at that face for a long time.
Under the lamplight, Hisaki’s skin had a very faint sheen. The thin scratch from the steel pipe edge that afternoon had been carefully coated with transparent ointment, and would probably disappear completely in a few days.
‘Xiao Xiao must really like the feeling of being able to depend on me.’
‘Not that she’s being depended on by me, but the opposite…’
‘Being able to not need to be that awe-inspiring Young Mistress of the Kurose Family in front of someone.’
‘Not needing to constantly maintain a low stance posture, calculating distance and force.’
‘Just closing her eyes and leaning into the other’s embrace.’
‘Burying all her physical advantages and absolute ability into the other’s frail little body.’
‘Letting those cool hands that can barely reach my shoulders gently stroke my hair.’
‘Feeling that being held to sleep so clumsily and earnestly by someone is actually a very comfortable and releasing thing.’
‘Every time it was Xiao Xiao holding me, but today I’m holding Xiao Xiao instead. It feels really reversed, reversed to the point of being cute.’
The corner of Rinna’s mouth lifted.
‘She feels that Hisaki would be brilliant as both a bottom and a top…’
‘Mm-hmm, that’s decided!’
‘If she and Hisaki can be together in the future, each will be the 1 for a while, then switch to being the 0 for a while.’
‘You can’t just eat the same dish; you have to switch it up to keep it interesting.’
Xiao Xiao would probably first frown and say, “Rinna’s body isn’t well yet, she can’t do such intense movements.”
Then Rinna would use her slender fingers to lightly flick Hisaki’s forehead.
“Stupid Xiao Xiao, then you lie down flat and let me take care of it.”
Then Hisaki would purse her lips, and the tips of her ears would stay red for a long, long time.
Rinna thus paved a whole mental route for herself from romance to cohabitation to a happy married life.
Then she gently moved the hand on Hisaki’s shoulder a little further to her back, her palm pressed against the spot on her shoulder blade, and she could faintly feel Hisaki’s steady and rhythmic shallow heartbeat transmit through the blanket and the fabric to the inside of her own wrist.
She lowered her head and lightly pressed her chin against the top of Hisaki’s head.
She still hadn’t found an answer to the question of why Hisaki hadn’t responded to that “offer oneself in marriage” offer.
She also had no confidence at all about whether her own body could be a qualified 1.
But at least tonight Hisaki had fallen asleep in her arms, being unbelievably well-behaved, like a large dog that had finally relaxed all its tense muscles and sunk safely into its owner’s arms.
The menstrual pain had lessened a lot after a whole day of metabolism and repeated doses of painkillers.
After the phone call Hisaki made on the second floor of Sunshine Town in the afternoon, her lower abdomen had a lingering dull ache off and on, but now there was basically no bleeding.
The overnight extra-long sanitary pad underneath was still dry, with no wet or sticky discomfort.
Rinna buried her face into the hair strands on top of Hisaki’s head. The scent of gardenia flowers had faded to almost untraceable, but the warm body heat remained.
She closed her eyes, and her last conscious thought was:
‘Tomorrow is Saturday. Should I talk to Kikyo about it? After all, regarding the problem of “liking a girl,” Kikyo is probably the only person I can discuss it with in my life.’
The breathing sounds in the room gradually became synchronized.
The desk lamp was still on, its warm yellow circle of light swaying slightly on the low table, as if infected by the dreams of the two girls.
Hisaki in her arms stirred gently, moving her face another inch deeper into her chest, and in her sleep her lips brushed vaguely against the fabric near Rinna’s bathrobe buttons, then stopped moving.