Originally, she thought that having a plan would calm her restlessness and anxiety, but lying in bed, Jiang Lai still tossed and turned just like before, unable to fall asleep.
In the past, Chi Yingyu was always by her side. Even if she couldn’t sleep, being held in her arms, feeling the familiar and steady presence, Jiang Lai would soon fall asleep. But now without Chi Yingyu, Jiang Lai found she couldn’t even sleep.
Jiang Lai knew very well that she couldn’t live without Chi Yingyu, and this had been the case for a long time.
Gazing at the moon outside the window, at the faint moonlight shining into the room, Jiang Lai tried to keep relaxing her mind. So she stared at that light, hoping to fall asleep out of sheer boredom.
But no matter how hard she tried to restrain herself, her mind was filled with Chi Yingyu’s image.
The light that instantly died in her eyes at the high-speed rail station, the tense profile in the car, the reddened corners of her eyes in the kitchen… every detail was crystal clear.
She even worried in her heart that she might miss some detail, afraid she couldn’t guess Chi Yingyu’s thoughts.
She was clearly the one who understood the other best in the past, but why was she so clueless about this?
Jiang Lai took out her phone, unlocked the screen, opened the chat with Chi Yingyu.
She typed and deleted, deleted and typed in the input box, finally leaving only the two words “Good night,” but never dared to send it.
Even though they were only separated by a wall at that moment, Jiang Lai didn’t know how to communicate.
She fumbled with her phone for a long, long time, but finally put it down without sending a single message.
After tossing her phone aside, Jiang Lai tried to force herself to sleep, but after trying for who knows how long, she wasn’t the least bit sleepy.
Closing her eyes only relieved the soreness in them.
Jiang Lai took out her phone again and, as if possessed, opened a shopping app.
She didn’t know how much time had passed. Unable to muster any sleepiness, she thought about looking for nearby stores that were beautiful and sold rings. Then she could go pick a proposal ring. As for what style, Jiang Lai didn’t know anything about trends.
So she specifically browsed some shopping platforms to check the new product features of each store.
She looked at the dense variety of styles: simple platinum, designs wrapped with tiny diamonds, cute ones with little hearts…
Her fingertips swiped across the screen.
With each style she saw, she couldn’t help thinking: ‘Would Yingyu like this?’
She also opened some sharing guide apps and looked at other people’s proposal guides.
Some set up candles on the lawn, some hid the ring in a cake, and others took their partner back to where they had their first date.
Jiang Lai read and took notes, silently comparing in her mind.
‘Yingyu is reserved; she would definitely be uncomfortable with a loud scene. Maybe finding a quiet and meaningful place would be better?’
As for the proposal, the more Jiang Lai thought about it, the more detailed it became.
The light from the phone screen reflected on her face, and even the bloodshot corners of her eyes showed a hint of excitement.
She glanced at the time; it was already past three in the morning.
But she closed the phone and lay back down.
When she shut her eyes, all she saw were ring styles and proposal scenes. She tossed and turned, unable to sleep.
So she simply sat up again, opened her notebook, and from memory recorded the ring styles she liked, adding notes beside them:
“Yingyu’s fingers are slender; the ring size should be small.”
“She likes sparkly things; a large diamond is better than small ones.”
Jiang Lai remembered that when Chi Yingyu was little, she really liked collecting shiny stones. Her preferences were still the same.
As for what Chi Yingyu liked, Jiang Lai was clearer than she expected; at least she could immediately imagine it in her mind.
She wondered if Chi Yingyu would be satisfied.
And so Jiang Lai tossed and turned until nearly dawn.
The sky outside was turning pale, and it was no longer as quiet as before; some bustling sounds could be heard.
Jiang Lai rubbed her sore eyes, looked at the heavy bloodshot in the mirror, and smiled helplessly.
Seeing the bright sky, she simply stopped worrying about sleep, changed into some light clothes, and tiptoed out of the bedroom to prepare breakfast in the kitchen.
As soon as she entered the living room, Jiang Lai’s first glance went to Chi Yingyu’s room.
When she saw that it was still quiet, Jiang Lai slowed her movements, not wanting to wake them up while cooking.
But just as Jiang Lai put on her apron and took out some ingredients from the fridge, she heard a soft door opening sound behind her.
Jiang Lai’s heart tightened.
She turned around and saw Chi Yingyu standing at the bedroom door, still in her pajamas, hair casually draped over her shoulders.
Morning light fell on her face through the gaps in the curtains, and Jiang Lai could clearly see the lingering fatigue in her eyes.
Obviously, she hadn’t slept well either.
“Morning…”
Jiang Lai’s voice was a little dry.
She wanted to say more, to ask if she had rested well, but Chi Yingyu’s voice interrupted her.
“Did you not rest well last night?”
Chi Yingyu’s gaze swept over Jiang Lai and then settled on the bloodshot in her eyes.
Her Adam’s apple moved.
She wanted to say something, but in the end only uttered such a simple concern.
To keep Chi Yingyu from worrying, Jiang Lai didn’t say she hadn’t slept at all. Instead, she stubbornly claimed she had slept very well.
But the bloodshot in Jiang Lai’s eyes were visible to anyone.
Chi Yingyu saw through her stubbornness, but didn’t know what to say either, so she turned and walked to the bathroom.
The soft sound of the door closing was like an invisible wall separating them again.
Jiang Lai stood still, her heart both bitter and warm.
She knew Yingyu cared about her, even while sulking, she still cared. But she just hadn’t gotten over that hurdle in her heart.
She took a deep breath, walked into the kitchen, feeling a little more relaxed, and started preparing breakfast for the three of them.
By the time Chi Yingyu finished washing up and came out, breakfast was already on the table.
She walked to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.
Her gaze fell on the soy milk cup in front of her, and her fingertips unconsciously rubbed the cup’s surface.
Jiang Lai sat across from her, wanting to say something, but saw her pick up breakfast and eat small bites, never looking up.
As for Jiang Leyi, since she hadn’t woken up yet, neither Jiang Lai nor Chi Yingyu would disturb the little girl.
Since it was a rare holiday return home and she could sleep well, they let her sleep. At most, they would ask about lunch.
As for morning, it was still too early.
The silence at the breakfast table was like a thin veil, lightly enveloping the two.
The steam from the porridge bowl blurred her side profile.
Jiang Lai could only see her hand holding the spoon, fingertips occasionally tightening unconsciously.
That was the little gesture that showed she hadn’t let go of her resentment. Jiang Lai had remembered it for many years.
The last time she made her this angry was years ago when she suggested she move out.
Back then, Chi Yingyu acted almost the same as now, not wanting to say a word to her, sulking alone.
She thought she would never make Chi Yingyu suffer again, but she ended up upsetting Yingyu once more.
For a moment, the only sound at the table was the crisp clink of the spoon hitting the bowl.
Chi Yingyu drank half a bowl of congee and put down the spoon.
When she looked up, her gaze happened to meet Jiang Lai’s.
Jiang Lai, as if scalded, quickly looked away.
Chi Yingyu’s gaze lingered on the bloodshot in her eyes for two seconds.
Her Adam’s apple moved.
In the end, she said nothing, just picked up a tissue from the table and gently wiped the corner of her mouth.
“At work today… will it be very busy?”
Jiang Lai couldn’t help but ask softly.
Yesterday she came to pick her up, and had already fallen a day behind on work.
What was supposed to be a happy event ended up like this because of the ring.
Chi Yingyu was startled, as if she hadn’t expected her to ask that.
After a few seconds, she nodded lightly.
“It’s okay. I should be able to come back on time in the afternoon.”
The voice was very soft, like a feather landing on her heart, but it made Jiang Lai sigh with relief.
At least she was willing to talk to her.
The two fell into silence again.
Just as Jiang Lai was about to say something more, Chi Yingyu suddenly picked up her phone, glanced at the time, and stood up.
“I should go. If I leave any later, I’ll hit traffic.”
Jiang Lai also stood up, wanting to help her get her bag.
She reached out halfway and then stopped, afraid she would avoid her again.
Chi Yingyu seemed not to notice her small gesture.
She walked to the entrance and picked up her bag herself.
While changing shoes, she suddenly turned around and said:
“You… if you have nothing to do during the day, catch up on sleep. Don’t keep staying up.”
Jiang Lai stood frozen.
Looking into her eyes, the coldness from before was gone, replaced by a barely perceptible concern.
She quickly nodded.
“I know. Be careful on the road. Drive slowly.”
Chi Yingyu hummed in acknowledgment, pulled open the door, and walked out.
Jiang Lai watched her leave before gently closing the door.
She leaned against the door, her heart both sour and warm.
She took a deep breath.
Looking at the breakfast on the table, Jiang Lai carefully packed the leftovers into a thermal box, thinking that when her daughter woke up, she could eat it.
After doing this, she sat on the sofa.
Usually, she and Chi Yingyu loved to cuddle on this sofa, but from yesterday until now, they hadn’t hugged once.
‘It’s really lonely.’
Her daughter hadn’t woken up yet, and there was no one else around.
Jiang Lai looked at her phone, and a thought suddenly popped into her mind.
‘Should I tell Shen Ruxue about this?’
She took out her phone, opened the chat with Shen Ruxue, and her finger hovered over the input key but didn’t move.
When Shen Ruxue sent her to the high-speed rail station yesterday, she must still have piled-up work to deal with.
If she told her about the conflict here, it would only distract her.
“Forget it, I’ll solve it myself.”
Jiang Lai muttered softly, closed the chat, reopened the shopping app, and continued studying the jewelry stores she had been eyeing.
The ring styles on the screen slid by again and again.
Jiang Lai’s gaze still lingered on that thin-band, large-diamond ring.
After who knows how long, a light footstep came from the living room.
Jiang Lai looked up and saw Jiang Leyi walking out of the bedroom, rubbing her eyes.
Her hair was messy, like a little ball that just woke up.
“Dad…”
Jiang Leyi’s voice still carried the softness of just waking up.
She walked over to the sofa and looked around.
“Where’s Aunt?”
“Aunt went to work.”
Jiang Lai walked over and tidied Leyi’s hair.
“If you don’t get up soon, breakfast will get cold.”
Leyi sat on the sofa, yawned, then suddenly furrowed her little brows.
“Dad, have you and Aunt… made up?”
She was still worrying about this before bed last night.
And she had gone to her room early yesterday, not knowing if her dad was effective.
Jiang Lai’s movements paused.
She patted Leyi’s head, her tone a little helpless.
“Not yet, but Dad is thinking of a way.”
Leyi pursed her little lips, her big eyes full of worry.
“So has Dad figured out a plan? I don’t want your relationship to stay strained.”
Seeing her daughter’s earnest expression, Jiang Lai smiled and said:
“Dad has an idea. Today I want to take you to pick a ring—a ring for Aunt. Leyi, would you like to help Dad choose?”
“A ring? For Aunt?”
Jiang Leyi’s eyes instantly lit up.
She immediately thought of what her dad wanted to do.
Her sleepiness vanished instantly.
She nodded vigorously.
“Yes! Is Dad going to propose to Aunt?”
Jiang Lai, caught by her daughter, felt her ears grow hot, but she still smiled and nodded.
“Yes, so I need your help to pick the ring that Aunt likes best.”
“Okay! As long as it can make Aunt happy, I can definitely do this!”
Jiang Lai saw the light in her daughter’s eyes and instantly felt relieved.
Thank goodness Leyi was here. Having someone by her side made Jiang Lai feel a little more at ease.
“Then eat breakfast first. After that, we’ll go to the mall. We’ll eat lunch outside. As for dinner, I don’t think Aunt and I will come back; we’ll eat out.”
Leyi picked up her chopsticks and took small bites of the porridge.
Suddenly, she looked up and asked:
“Okay, so I’ll wait at home obediently for your good news?”
“Okay, we’ll wait until we come back.”
Jiang Lai didn’t know if this method would work.
But right now, she wanted to do it, and she wanted to clearly tell Yingyu that she wanted to be with her forever.
However, while eating breakfast, Jiang Leyi suddenly thought of something.
That was: what about the ring from yesterday?
“Dad… who are you going to choose? Aunt or that Shen…”
Because Jiang Leyi had never gotten over that hurdle in her heart, even now when mentioning Shen Ruxue, she didn’t know how to address her.
Should she call her by name, or directly call her Mom?
“Since you accepted her ring, it shows you want to be with her. Even though I don’t like her now and can’t accept her quickly, there are some things I hope you can make clear, Dad.”
“What are you really thinking? Who will you choose to be with forever?”
“I have no choice.”
Jiang Lai looked at her daughter before her and, for the first time, told her everything she had been thinking.
“Your mom and Aunt are both people I can never live without. I can’t give up either. If possible, I want to choose both.”
“Even though it’s very difficult to achieve, I’ll work hard.”
If it were anyone else saying they wanted to choose two people at once, Jiang Leyi would definitely think they were a player.
But the person in front of her was her own dad.
Jiang Leyi instantly felt that she had become much more tolerant.
One was her mom, whom her dad had deeply loved for over a decade.
The other was her aunt, who had accompanied her and her dad through so many years.
If she were in her dad’s position, Jiang Leyi felt that even she couldn’t make a choice.
Even if she could choose, it would definitely be very hard.
Putting herself in his shoes a little…
Jiang Leyi could understand her dad.
Love has no choice.
Jiang Lai saw the conflict in her daughter’s eyes and reached out to hold her hand.
The warmth from her fingertips gradually relaxed Leyi.
She said softly:
“Leyi, Dad knows this is hard for you to accept. Even I sometimes feel greedy.”
“But they are both the people I cherish most. I really don’t want to let go.”
“I’m not asking you to understand Dad; I just ask you not to hate Dad, okay?”