“Father, I just want to know, why must you make me be with Hongfang?”
Wang Chengye had verbally agreed, but he was slow to speak. Wang Huaiyu thought perhaps her question was too sudden, so after a moment of silence, she began to explain.
Wang Chengye closed his eyes, and after a long while, he spoke:
The middle-aged man leaned against the headboard, his words continuously drawing in Wang Huaiyu, who had been feeling unwell.
“How to keep a promise? I had always thought about this question in my free time.”
“Sometimes when I was daydreaming in the study, sometimes when I was inspecting our shops…”
“Whenever I thought of my wife’s dying wish, I always felt overwhelmingly sad. To the point that I dared not face our child too much—Yu’er.”
“Ah!”
“That name was chosen by her.”
“And the reason Ni’er chose that name was so amusing that I still haven’t told Xiaoyu to this day.”
“She said, ‘Isn’t this name good? Yu’er, Yu’er… that way, no matter if the child is a boy or a girl, it sounds nice to call them.'”
“She was showing off to me proudly with her big belly.”
“I knew she was just trying to ease her own prenatal anxiety.”
“Ni’er was always like that. Perhaps because of her family background, she always seemed more relaxed than me, better at finding joy in hardship.”
“I was attracted to her like that. After a not-so-long courtship, we successfully became husband and wife.”
“‘You, why are you always making that stern face?'”
“‘As the head of the family, if you always put on a sour face, how will your subordinates see you? How will our future children see you?'”
“Ni’er sometimes acted like an immature child, standing behind me and rubbing my face, always speaking in a tone of exasperation.”
“Before, my subordinates always called me ‘Stone Face Lord,’ and I never tried to correct them.”
“Because I once thought that managing a family required ruthlessness and toughness; any extra expression was just a burden.”
“But during the days I spent with Ni’er, I was constantly changing.”
“If she wanted to see a smile every day, then I would smile.”
“If she thought one should be smooth and flexible in life, then I would learn.”
“Back then, I naively thought everything was developing in a good direction, until…”
“Old, Elder Master!”
“The madam…”
“The midwife came out holding the child, staggering to where I was anxiously waiting outside the room. The baby in the swaddling clothes was crying loudly, but her face was as pale as paper.”
“She told me the bad news—”
“Ni’er had severe hemorrhage due to difficult labor and couldn’t be stopped. She was now at death’s door.”
“She was going to leave me.”
“At that time, it was a thunderbolt from a clear sky. That was the only thought left in my mind.”
“I took the child and walked into the room on unsteady feet.”
“She was lying weakly in bed. When she saw me come in, she wanted to touch my face, but couldn’t even lift her hand.”
“‘…See? Who said my husband has a paralyzed face?'”
“‘Isn’t this a very ugly cry…'”
“Ni’er was smiling, but tears blurred her eyes so she couldn’t see clearly. Yet I still conjured up her usual bright smile in my mind.”
“‘…It’s a girl.'”
“‘See? I was right to name her, wasn’t I?'”
“Ni’er looked at the child in my arms. Her words weren’t about the fear of death, but the surprise of new life.”
“‘You’ve been holding her without letting go. I can’t really see her clearly…'”
“‘Since that’s the case, let’s call her Huaiyu.'”
“‘You must take good care of her. Even if she throws little tantrums, be more tolerant. After all, without her mother, the child will always lack company.'”
“‘You must teach her to read and write, take her to see mountains and rivers, and find a good family for this immature little girl…'”
“‘…You must take good care of this little treasure. Otherwise, when you get old and leave, you won’t be able to find me…'”
“Ni’er held my hand with difficulty, her voice gradually weakening. ‘Chengye… you must raise our daughter well, and you must also take care of yourself…'”
“And at that time, I couldn’t speak at all. I just kept nodding, as if that would stop the heavens from taking Ni’er away.”
“Maybe the heavens didn’t hear. In the end, we were separated by life and death.”
“Since then, I’ve been immersed in the pain of losing my beloved wife day after day.”
“I numbed myself with work, and I fulfilled my promise to Ni’er in material ways.”
“I also know that I am not a good father. I have not been able to accompany my daughter. I have only been ‘loving’ my daughter in a way that is almost an escape—”
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid that I would blame this child for everything.”
“So I often used busyness as an excuse and locked myself in the shackles of work.”
“It’s ridiculous that a father doesn’t even dare to look at his own child much.”
“After that day, I engraved Ni’er’s words into my bones.”
“She said to be tolerant, so I gave in to everything. She said to teach the child to read, so I hired the best tutor. She said to find a good family for her, so I started looking early.”
“And I did find that good family—Zhou Hongfang.”
“Hongfang’s father, Zhou Heting, I met in the year Ni’er and I got married. At that time, the Zhou family hadn’t declined yet. He was in Lin’an doing tea business and was a righteous man.”
“Later, when Ni’er passed away, I was depressed for a long time. Zhou Heting came to see me, saw that I was a ghost of my former self, and often came to comfort me. He could be considered one of my few close friends.”
“But later, he too passed away.”
“Zhou Heting and his wife were gone overnight. The Zhou family fell apart, their shops were taken over or looted, leaving only Hongfang as a child.”
“When I saw that child again, the numbness and pain in his eyes were so clear and familiar to me.”
“That child really is a lot like me.”
“Maybe he could accompany Yu’er and walk forward…”
“That thought suddenly popped into my mind at that time and then spiraled out of control.”
“I adopted that child and put him in charge of the shop far away in Lin’an, hoping he could grow up there.”
“He did live up to expectations. After going to Lin’an, he managed the shop very successfully. Every year when he came back for the New Year, he would bring a bunch of things, saying this was a gift for me, and that was for Yu’er.”
“I watched him grow from a teenager into a young man.”
“For a while, I really thought that heaven had not been unkind to me—Ni’er was gone, but left me a good daughter; my old friend was gone, but left me a good son-in-law.”
“Until that wedding…”
Wang Chengye’s voice grew lower and lower until it was almost inaudible.
And Wang Huaiyu sat to the side, motionless.
“Father,” she spoke, her voice a little hoarse.
“Hmm.”
Outside the window, a wind had risen without anyone noticing. The candle flame flickered, casting the shadows of the two people on the wall—one long, one short. They seemed far apart, yet also, had always been this close.