Chapter 216: A Faded Love for His Wife

It had already caused her many sleepless nights.

Jiang Lai had thought her sister-in-law would cause trouble for her while sleeping tonight, but when she had mentally prepared herself for it, her sister-in-law turned out to be exceptionally well-behaved.

She lay quietly in her arms without any untoward movements, only insisting that Jiang Lai place her hand around her waist before they fell asleep.

Jiang Lai didn’t know why Chi Yingyu wanted her to hold her like this, but feeling the warmth of the body in her arms and the faint fragrance lingering from the strands of hair scattered across the pillow, she could clearly sense her sister-in-law’s presence even without opening her eyes.

This feeling, as if the other woman would always be by her side, gave her a great sense of peace.

If it weren’t for the hurdle in her heart that she couldn’t overcome, Jiang Lai feared she wouldn’t be able to control herself right now.

‘But if I really do this, how can I face her sister?’

That night, Jiang Lai held Chi Yingyu, having no idea when she finally lost consciousness and drifted off.

She just reminisced about the past while feeling the warmth of her sister-in-law in her arms.

In her hazy state, scene after scene flashed through her mind.

Though it felt like a dream, everything happening in it was a real event from the past.

Jiang Lai was more like a spectator to her own memories, replaying the various moments buried deep within her mind.

In her mind’s eye, Jiang Lai seemed to have returned to the past, back to the days when the whole family was still together.

Since her wife’s passing, their family hadn’t truly had a reunion in a long time.

Even during the Lunar New Year, it was just a small gathering for their family of three, lacking the liveliness of the old days.

Jiang Lai and Chi Yingyu’s sister had both grown up in this city, and their parents lived here as well.

After they got married, every Lunar New Year, they wouldn’t go to just one person’s house; instead, the whole extended family would gather to cook and chat.

The New Year’s Eve dinner back then was truly lively.

Jiang Lai and her wife would busy themselves in the kitchen, their roles clearly defined.

Her wife would skillfully slice vegetables at her side, the knife making a rhythmic, crisp sound against the cutting board.

Jiang Lai still remembered how her wife’s fingers were slender and dexterous.

They were a pair of very beautiful hands.

She had originally wanted to cook the entire dinner herself, but her wife, feeling sorry for her, insisted on taking over the task of washing and cutting the vegetables.

Jiang Lai was responsible for the actual cooking.

As she worked the pans and oil, she couldn’t help but steal glances at her wife’s focused profile.

Back then, they really didn’t have any worries.

Although their family wasn’t wealthy, everything was looking up, and they were truly happy.

It was a happiness so profound that even after more than a decade, the memories remained sweet.

Unfortunately, most of the memories in Jiang Lai’s mind had become blurred.

She could remember generally what happened and what her wife had said, but because so much time had passed, she was reaching the point where she was almost forgetting her wife’s voice.

In the dream, as Jiang Lai felt this long-lost happiness, she also realized she was dreaming.

Just as she wanted to take a longer look at her late wife—

The wife in her dream turned her head and gave her a slight smile, her eyes so gentle they seemed capable of melting anything.

Jiang Lai finally couldn’t help but reach out, wanting to touch her cheek and see her clearly with her own eyes once more.

But just as she was about to make contact, she suddenly jerked awake.

Jiang Lai snapped her eyes open, her heart racing.

The sky outside was already starting to brighten.

Her position with her sister-in-law had shifted unconsciously in her sleep—she was actually curled tightly in her sister-in-law’s arms, the exact opposite of how they had started the night.

She instinctively lifted her head to look at her sister-in-law, who was still sleeping peacefully.

The other woman’s breathing was steady, and her cheeks were slightly flushed.

Fortunately, she was still asleep.

If she were to ask why she had suddenly woken up in a fright, Jiang Lai would have no way to explain it.

Recalling the dream and looking at the sister-in-law holding her so tightly, a surge of complex emotions rose in Jiang Lai’s heart, and guilt washed over her like a tide.

All along, it was this guilt and sense of transgression that had been warning her.

If the object of her affection was someone like Xu Ruobing, who had no relation to her, Jiang Lai could probably imagine herself falling head over heels in love.

She gently withdrew her arm and cautiously climbed out of bed, deathly afraid of waking the still-sleeping Chi Yingyu.

Standing by the bedside and looking at her quiet sleeping face, Jiang Lai’s heart was filled with a mix of emotions.

She knew she shouldn’t be reminiscing about the past in her dreams, and she certainly shouldn’t let those long-gone emotions disturb her mind again.

Everything was in the past.

Her wife had completely left them nineteen years ago.

Continuing to dwell on the past would do no one any good.

Jiang Lai took a deep breath, trying to push the stray thoughts aside.

She quietly opened the door and walked toward the kitchen.

She hoped to use busyness to fill the void in her heart; only by keeping busy could she keep from being trapped by the past.

Time truly could dilute everything.

Once, she had loved her wife very, very much—enough to live or die for her.

But after more than a decade, no matter how passionate that love had been, very little of it remained today.

Jiang Lai still held a place for her wife in her heart, but that love had long since transformed into responsibility.

Her and her wife’s daughter, the sister-in-law by her side—everything related to her wife served as a constant reminder that there was once someone she loved to the bone.

Over the past decade or so, the love in her heart could only rely on memories to survive.

But that was the past, after all.

That once-profound love had long since turned into a sense of duty that she strictly adhered to.

Jiang Lai could feel her resolve toward her sister-in-law beginning to waver; she was even gradually becoming able to accept the other woman’s burning affection.

In the kitchen, she began to get busy.

She had to prepare breakfast for four people today, and since almost everyone hadn’t eaten well yesterday, this breakfast needed to be more abundant than usual.

She took various ingredients out of the refrigerator, her movements practiced and orderly.

As she prepared, Jiang Lai also reflected on her inner self.

She might be able to accept her sister-in-law’s feelings for her, but not right now.

Because her daughter was still by their side, she didn’t want this family to become even more distorted.

However, once her daughter found someone she liked and got married to start her own family, then she could let go of everything from the past and accept a new relationship, or even a new marriage.

Only then could she accept everything with a clear conscience.

At that time, she might agree to whatever her sister-in-law wanted to do.

Jiang Lai felt she had figured everything out and that it was time to start over.

But even so, her heart still felt empty.

She looked at the knife in her hand, then glanced at everything in the kitchen and the living room—the cabinets, the sofa, the arrangement of all the furniture.

Even though she had decided to let go of the past, looking at these familiar objects made her dazed.

Although her wife had left nineteen years ago, every corner of her life was filled with traces of her.

Everything in the room was either something her wife liked or something her wife had meticulously chosen.

It felt as if they had never truly been apart.

Jiang Lai pursed her lips.

Her hair, which had been tied up with a rubber band, had come loose at some point and now draped over her shoulders.

She lowered her eyes, looking at the knife in her hand.

Even the knife she was using now was the same model as the one they used before.

Those eyes, bright as gemstones, were now clouded with a faint mist, as if covered by a thin veil, revealing a hint of hazy sorrow.

The corners of her mouth dipped slightly, and the fingertips gripping the knife trembled gently.

Just then, Shen Ruxue walked out of her room.

She had woken up early, and hearing the noise in the kitchen, she slowly made her way to the living room.

She looked toward the kitchen and saw Jiang Lai.

That slender figure looked exceptionally frail against the backdrop of the apron, as if a gust of wind could blow her away.

What was even more worrying was that the knife in her hand was trembling slightly, as if it might slip from her grasp at any moment.