Chapter 60 : Is Realistic Sensuality Better?

Is holding hands considered a sensual act?

If someone were to ask such a question, Usher could firmly deny it more than anyone else.

That is, if Bersia were the one asking that question.

“You’d definitely accuse me of having dirty thoughts just from holding hands.”

“……”

“You’d probably make me meditate, saying my mind is filled with filthy thoughts.”

…….

“Or maybe you’d give me a lecture under the guise of moral education?”

Usher hung his head in silence.

Thankfully, after being delivered to Judith, he wasn’t labeled as a pervert who gets aroused at the mere thought of holding hands.

However, this still wasn’t exactly a clean resolution.

Usher’s head drooped lower under Bersia’s cold gaze, which felt almost icy.

“Pervert.”

“Ugh…!”

“Degenerate.”

“Gulp…!”

There’s a time and place for rebuttals.

At this point, there weren’t many arguments left for Usher to make.

Usher’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

In the end, he apologized.

“I’m sorry….”

“Your apology is quite slow.”

“I’m sorry for that too….”

“I’ll let it slide just this once.”

Bersia gently patted Usher’s head.

At that moment, Usher flinched.

Again. His chest tingled again.

Noticing his reaction, Bersia quickly withdrew her hand.

Usher felt a slight disappointment as her hand left him.

“Ah….”

At his sigh, Bersia let out a small chuckle.

“Even this makes you react?”

“Uh, well….”

He was at a loss for words.

Honestly, he couldn’t even understand why he was reacting this way to something as simple as hand-holding or head-patting.

At this point, he had to admit it.

There was some degree of the curse’s influence.

Although its effects were oddly subtle.

“Admitting it is probably better than denying it. Yes, this kind of physical contact feels… slightly embarrassing.”

If the interaction were more vulgar, it might not leave room for such thoughts.

But this quiet, intimate atmosphere seemed to allow too much imagination.

As Usher sighed in frustration, Bersia asked,

“Exactly what kind of things make your body react? I need to know to avoid them.”

Usher was caught off guard by the question.

He wasn’t confident enough to admit that light touches or casual words made him unconsciously think, “If this were my real body…”

Because that would mean he was seeing Bersia as a romantic interest.

And if these feelings were caused by the curse, he knew confessing them would be wrong.

So, he gave a vague answer.

But it led to a strange conclusion.

“You’re such a strange person. Holding hands is a no-go, but sensory deprivation or whatever is fine….”

Usher stammered a nonsensical excuse.

“T-That’s because it’s too vulgar to be sensual…!”

“Is realistic sensuality better, then?”

“That’s not what I meant!”

A flimsy argument would never hold up.

In the end, all Usher could do was dig himself deeper.

As the saying goes, the more embarrassed a person gets, the louder their voice becomes, and Usher’s voice gradually grew louder.

“Some girls are like that! Bland romances can sometimes be—”

“Word choice! Please!”

“…Why can’t I just talk normally?”

“I’m saying you need to tone down your language! Humans can communicate without vulgar words!”

“How is that even possible?”

“……!”

Usher fell into self-contradiction.

Despite several awkward incidents, four days passed.

The curse of longing on Usher’s back did not grow any worse.

Of course, Bersia had developed a habit of calling him a ‘romance pervert’ at every opportunity, but even that was becoming somewhat familiar.

But the hardest part for Usher wasn’t any of that.

It was the rumors that had started spreading.

“Hey, are you okay?”

One day, Rubena approached him.

And then, without a shred of malice, she casually cut into Usher’s pride.

“So, that ‘curse of the female’? It’s probably nothing to you, right? I mean, with your divine power, it shouldn’t have much effect… But lately, people are saying you’re clinging to your guard? Using the curse as an excuse to stick to her? Do you like her that much? I just don’t get it.”

Usher, who generally tried to see the good in people, realized that sometimes, a lack of awareness could indeed be a crime.

The origin of the rumors didn’t matter at this point.

Usher first wanted to clear up Rubena’s misconceptions.

He explained that he wasn’t clinging, that Bersia was being overly protective out of concern for the curse’s influence, and that the term ‘curse of the female’ wasn’t even the correct name for it.

He added his opinion that it was time to stop using that term, and firmly stated that he had never, not even once, thought of using the curse as an excuse for anything improper.

During this explanation, Usher felt an overwhelming sense of injustice.

In truth, everything he was doing was ultimately to protect Bersia’s honor.

Yet seeing Bersia lounging around as if none of this concerned her only made his frustration grow.

Did those feelings show on his face?

His expression grew increasingly sullen.

Rubena, still with her typical confused look (or, as Judith would call it, a ‘dumb face’), asked, “So it’s not the ‘curse of the female’? Then what is it?”

Saturn stepped in to apologize on Rubena’s behalf.

“I’m sorry. The saintess has been… rather distracted lately.”

“Hey, what did you just say? Are you ignoring me?!”

“Saintess, Halia is looking for you.”

“Hic…”

After Rubena Left with Halia on Assignment

No one knew what had happened after Rubena was dispatched with Halia, but whenever Saturn mentioned the word ‘Halia,’ Rubena’s face would pale, and she’d be dragged away by him.

Saturn’s gleaming scalp seemed to erase Rubena’s shadow as they left.

It felt like a bit of grime had been cleansed from Usher’s heart.

At any rate, the day came to an end.

Usher collapsed onto his bed, feeling physically and mentally drained, while Versia sat in a chair with her legs crossed and spoke.

“If you lie face down, it ruins the shape of your chest.”

“……”

Usher turned to lie on his back.

He didn’t want to hear any more teasing words from her mouth.

Besides, lying face down was uncomfortable anyway.

Afterward, he muttered under his breath.

“Why does it feel like I’m the only one suffering?”

“I’m suffering too.”

“From what, exactly?”

“I’m holding back.”

“Pardon?”

Usher’s brow furrowed.

Bersia replied with a calm demeanor.

“Leaving you alone even though you’re so defenseless. Don’t you think I have impressive self-control?”

Bersia’s gaze shifted towards Usher.

Usher followed her gaze.

In the act of flipping over, his skirt had ridden up slightly.

“Eep!”

Startled, Usher hastily pulled his skirt back down.

His earlobes turned crimson as he tried to catch his breath.

Bersia murmured softly.

“Your actions are becoming increasingly feminine. At this rate, soon….”

“That will never happen!”

The curse was truly relentless.

The effects shouldn’t have progressed any further, yet his unconscious reactions said otherwise.

Usher groaned and sighed deeply before speaking.

“…I think I’ll go for a walk.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, just for a bit… to clear my head.”

He spoke hesitantly, but thankfully, Bersia nodded in understanding.

“As long as you don’t go too far. The cathedral grounds are well-guarded.”

Usher bowed his head slightly in gratitude and left the room.

The cathedral was located in a warm region, so even late at night, the temperature rarely dropped sharply.

Tonight was no different.

Usher took a deep breath, feeling the night breeze cool his body’s warmth.

It had been several months since he started living in this body.

Had he grown too accustomed to it?

Or was it the way others treated him?

As Versia had pointed out, Usher felt like his masculine traits—his mannerisms and speech—were slowly fading.

It made him feel melancholic, and coupled with the curse, his emotions felt heavy.

For that reason, he walked aimlessly.

Before he knew it, his steps had led him to the grand cathedral.

It was then that Usher realized something.

‘Come to think of it…’

Since taking on this form, he hadn’t prayed in the cathedral.

Previously, he had attended mass at least once a week without fail, but it had been months since he’d last done so.

Usher felt a deep sense of guilt.

Could all these changes be a punishment for his lack of devotion?

Upon reflection, he realized he had also skipped his nightly prayers for quite some time.

Realizing this, Usher shut his eyes tightly.

‘Oh, Divine Father…!’

He deserved punishment.

In this moment, all he could do was repent.

With newfound resolve, Usher stepped into the grand cathedral.

The moment he opened the cathedral doors, he froze in place.

Click.

Usher stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him.

“Oh, Your Holiness.”

“Hm?”

“…Your Holiness?”

The Pope was in the cathedral.