Just as the life trajectory of the protagonist, Livia, veered completely off course, Allen was situated in a quiet reception room within the Saint Elliott Cathedral.
He was engaged in a pleasant and profound conversation with Archbishop Lucien.
By complete coincidence, the two had happened upon an eternal theological puzzle: whether humanity possessed Free Will.
“Your Eminence,” Allen said as he picked up his teacup, gently blowing away the steam rising from the surface.
“I have a question. If the Lord is omniscient and has foreseen all of the future, then are the choices of man already predestined? If the Lord is the ultimate cause of all things, has he… ‘preordained’ some for Salvation and others for ruin?”
“If humans do not truly have the freedom to choose between good and evil, how can they be held responsible for their sins?”
Archbishop Lucien sat across from him with a peaceful expression and deep, soulful eyes.
He nodded slightly and responded with composure.
“That is an ancient and profound question, Sir Allen. The orthodox view of the Church holds that while humanity’s Free Will was weakened by Original Sin, it was not utterly destroyed. The Lord’s Divine Grace is the beginning of Salvation. This grace is like a light that awakens a sleeper, stimulating the remnants of one’s Free Will and enabling a person to choose to cooperate with the Lord’s grace, thereby moving toward justification.”
He paused, using a vivid metaphor to explain. “It is like a drowning man who cannot escape his fate by his own strength alone. The Lord throws down a life rope — Divine Grace — but the drowning man still has a choice — whether to reach out and grab it tightly or to reject it and sink into the abyss.”
Allen nodded thoughtfully upon hearing this. Then, using the Archbishop’s metaphor, he proposed his own perspective.
“Your Eminence, your metaphor is very vivid. However, allow me to offer a supplementary viewpoint: That ‘drowning man,’ why did he fall into the water in the first place? Was it because he accidentally slipped, or because he was born onto a doomed, broken ship built by social injustice?”
“I am inclined to believe that what humans possess is ‘relative’ Free Will rather than ‘absolute’ freedom. This relativity does not stem from divinity but is profoundly constrained by objective social conditions.”
He set down his teacup and continued to elaborate. “A person’s thoughts, desires, and choices do not appear out of thin air. They are, to a large extent, shaped by their material living conditions, economic status, and class relations.”
“A farmer who has tilled the soil for generations will not spontaneously develop the idea to invest in the Financial Market. A craftsman working in a workshop will find it difficult to freely choose to gallop through the Royal Hunting Grounds after work.”
Allen leaned forward slightly, his golden eyes shimmering in the interplay of light and shadow.
“The relative freedom I speak of originates from this. Divine Grace might be that rope, but many people never even get the chance to reach the shore where they could see the rope during their entire lives. The scope of their choices is circumscribed by poverty, ignorance, and oppression from the moment they are born.”
“Therefore, the first step to true freedom might not be waiting for a rope, but rather transforming that broken ship or even building a new route. This, in itself, is the greatest practice and choice.”
Archbishop Lucien listened quietly, a contemplative expression on his face. He did not rush to refute; instead, a deeper smile appeared.
“A brilliant insight, Sir Allen. You have pointed out the immense injustice and suffering that truly exists in the mortal world, which is exactly why the Church is constantly dedicated to relief and reform. However, from a theological perspective, could the great power you mentioned — the power to build a new route — not also be seen as the grace of the Lord operating in the world through human hands and reason?”
“You view freedom as practice within limitations, whereas I view that practice itself as the most glorious manifestation of human Free Will under the light of grace. We may have a disagreement regarding the ‘First Cause,’ but our conclusions are strikingly consistent on the point that humans should have the courage to act and take responsibility.”
Archbishop Lucien’s response both accepted Allen’s concern for reality, showing tolerance, and skillfully reincorporated ‘human practice’ back into the theological framework, maintaining his stance while finding common ground in the concept of responsibility.
Allen couldn’t help but feel that debating scripture with a learned sage like Archbishop Lucien was a true pleasure.
Had this been one of those narrow-minded, conservative priests, they would have likely lost the argument halfway through, flown into a rage, shouted ‘Heresy,’ and tried to smack him in the face with the Holy Book.
Allen smiled and summarized, “So, Your Eminence, I believe that humans do not passively exist within a certain established order. Humans are ‘thrown’ into specific social conditions, yet are ‘destined’ to freely choose how to act, and must therefore bear full responsibility — regardless of whether a higher authority exists.”
Sister Amelia, sitting not far away, felt her heart race as she listened.
As the most intelligent nun in the Church (self-proclaimed), she could fully understand the deep meaning behind their dialogue.
Initially, she was secretly nodding at her teacher’s exquisite ‘Theory of Grace,’ but as she continued to listen, she actually felt that… that evil Allen Delaval, whom she had always despised, made a lot of sense!
The moment this thought surfaced, Amelia jumped as if someone had stepped on her tail.
‘No! Allen Delaval is a minion of evil! By denying the Lord’s grace like this, he is clearly trying to use his twisted theories to corrupt a pious and pure nun like me!’
‘That was close! I almost fell for his tricks!’
Amelia immediately composed herself and began to recite the doctrines silently in her heart, as if that could build a barrier against ‘evil whispers.’
Beside her, Marianne listened with a confused expression.
However, that did not stop her from taking out a small notebook and seriously recording every word Allen said, acting the part of a close comrade-in-arms and head student.
With her current level of knowledge, she wasn’t yet capable of understanding these profound philosophical views.
But she could bring Allen’s words back to “Heaven’s Haven” and discuss them slowly with Finn and the other comrades.
As the two were in the heat of their discussion, a black-robed monk quietly walked up to Archbishop Lucien and whispered a few words.
The Archbishop nodded with a smile and then gracefully ended the brilliant debate.
“Sir Allen, your views have opened a brand-new window for me. Conversing with you is truly a pleasure,” the Archbishop said sincerely.
“You flatter me. Your wisdom has also benefited me greatly,” Allen responded modestly.
“Haha, Sir Allen, please come this way. The items you requested have been retrieved.”
“Alright.” Allen stood up. Before leaving, he looked at Amelia and Marianne, who were whispering to each other, and gave them a thumbs-up.
A gentle, slightly encouraging smile appeared on his face. “You two enjoy your time getting to know each other. I’ll be right back.”
Upon seeing that subtle expression that said ‘As a mere bug, I won’t disturb the pure lily garden,’ Marianne found it hard to resist the urge to complain.
She had later reflected carefully on Allen’s discourse about how “lilies are beautiful precisely because they will eventually wither,” and she suddenly realized that Allen might not… actually be obsessed with girls loving girls?
Was it possible he was just the “tsundere” type he often talked about?
Perhaps he was simply happy that she could make friends, but was too embarrassed to express his concern directly, so he went a long way around to create the opportunity.
His anticipation for a “lily pairing” between her and Livia was likely based on the same logic.
This man was perhaps trying to distance himself from and conceal his true feelings by promoting such things.
‘Master, a man being a tsundere isn’t cute at all!’
Marianne muttered in her heart, ‘Can’t you just say “Marianne, I like you the most” honestly?’
Marianne might have vaguely touched upon part of the truth, but she also seemed to have missed the point entirely.
However, Marianne was certain of one thing — Allen liked her very, very much!
The proof was that he had actually fulfilled his promise to “accompany her for a night”!
Even though that night, while being held tightly by Marianne, Allen’s heart remained unperturbed and he fell asleep quickly — leaving Marianne, who was wearing carefully prepared “winning underwear” and feeling like her heart was a fluttering deer, with her expectations unmet.
But wasn’t that defenseless trust and tranquility the most powerful proof in itself?
Of course, Allen’s only feeling regarding the matter was that, even while retaining the painful memories of Marianne brutally killing him in past cycles, he could naturally accept her closeness without an involuntary stress response.
This gave him a strange sense of happiness and peace, as if he had finally been liberated from a heavy shadow.
Knowing that he was guarded by an Assassin Master like Marianne, he felt he could finally relax the taut nerve that was always worrying about being assassinated.
That night, Allen had sweet dreams about lilies in bloom with no stray thoughts, completely unaware of the psychological journey the girl beside him had gone through.
Humanity’s joys and sorrows are not interconnected; Allen only found them noisy.
However, Marianne was in no hurry.
She was certain that winning Allen over was only a matter of time.
Allen looked back and saw Marianne humbly asking Amelia about the concepts she hadn’t understood from the discussion.
The sight of the two girls huddled together brought a smile of relief to his face.
Deep down, he actually harbored a sliver of fear that Marianne would revert to the “broken” version of herself from the previous cycles.
Especially after Marianne obtained the Brand of Shadow, he grew increasingly worried that the Evil God would influence her through the Bloodline of the Sigil.
She was a good girl and should not have her fate toyed with by an Evil God as he had.
Archbishop Lucien keenly captured that fleeting worry in Allen’s eyes and asked gently, “You seem to be worried about something, Sir Allen?”
Allen pondered for a moment before shifting the topic. “I am worried that… I myself might not possess true Free Will.”
“Oh? Why do you say that?”
“… ” Allen organized his words.
“Sometimes, I get the feeling that I am not in control of my own actions, as if I am being pulled by some invisible force to do certain things. My thoughts, my will… do they truly belong to ‘me’? Or do they belong to some grander existence that transcends human understanding?”
These words caused the smile on Archbishop Lucien’s face to stiffen slightly.
He gazed into those golden eyes that still flowed with divine radiance even in the shadows.
As if suddenly realizing something, he asked in a gentle, almost dreamlike tone:
“My Lord… do you dream?”
“… ?”
Allen was stunned by the abrupt question and looked at the Archbishop in confusion.
He looked left and right; there was no one else in the room besides the two of them.
Was he talking to Allen, or to some… entity behind him?
A chill ran through Allen’s heart.
From Archbishop Lucien’s look of sudden realization, he vaguely felt that the other party had glimpsed some secret regarding his essence.
Dammit, he really wanted to ask for clarification! But would asking directly make him look like he was losing his composure?
Faced with Allen’s suspicious gaze, Archbishop Lucien merely smiled and explained at a measured pace:
“Actually, I was trying to understand your doubt from a moment ago. If the universe we inhabit is merely a dream of the sleeping Lord, then what of the prophecy in the Holy Scripture: ‘When the Messenger completes the Mission, the God shall wake completely, and His light shall shine upon the universe, eternally banishing the Evil that dwells in the depths of the stars’? Does that mean the moment the Lord awakens is the end of the entire cosmic dream — and thus, its destruction?”
‘So that’s why you said that weird sentence?’
‘You sure know how to play the part, Archbishop!’
When Allen was alone, he would occasionally, for no reason, suddenly say to the air: “Are you watching me? Well, I’m watching you too!”
As a skeptic, Allen often had thoughts that “reality is highly suspicious and not worth full trust.” After all, transmigration itself was incredibly surreal.
Whether it was the “Godhead” from the Elder Scrolls, the Dream of Brahma in Hinduism, or Azathoth, the Blind Idiot God of Lovecraftian mythos, the viewpoint that “the world is the dream/thought/vision of a god” was essentially an extreme expression of idealism.
Allen discussed with great interest, “Your Eminence, if the universe is the ‘Lord’s’ dream, then what kind of space-time does the ‘Lord’ exist in? Does it also follow some kind of logic? If the ‘Lord’ also exists in a more fundamental ‘reality,’ then this merely creates an infinite recursion — who dreamed of the ‘Lord’? And who dreamed of the one who dreamed of the ‘Lord’? … This does not solve the problem of ultimate reality.”
He spoke eloquently. “Furthermore, if this ‘dream’ is perfectly self-consistent to the point where we cannot find any flaws from the inside to prove it is a dream, then the theory itself becomes unfalsifiable.”
“If we assume an objective world independent of our consciousness exists, it is sufficient to explain all experience and scientific discovery. The cosmic dream theory adds an unobservable, unverifiable ‘Dreamer’ without providing any explanatory power beyond the hypothesis of an objective world. According to the principle of Occam’s Razor — that entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity — we should discard it.”
Once the conversation turned toward his favorite field of philosophy, Allen couldn’t quite stop himself. He analyzed excitedly:
“Stepping back, even if everything we perceive is worth doubting, there is one thing that is absolutely certain: the act of ‘I am doubting’ itself.”
“If I am doubting, then there must be an ‘I’ that is performing this act of doubting. This might be the only foundation upon which we can understand the world.”
“It is precisely because we doubt that we are ourselves and not some other existence.”
Archbishop Lucien listened quietly, his smile remaining unchanged, but a long sigh flickered in the depths of his eyes.
‘Incredibly… sharp, yet it leads to a fated answer.’
If Allen hadn’t said that final line — “I think, therefore I am” — his argument would have been nearly flawless.
But he had said it.
“I think, therefore I am” cannot prove the reality of the external world. It can only prove the existence of “my” consciousness.
It is like a person in a dream shouting, “I am certain I am dreaming!” It cannot prove that he is not a character in a much grander dream.
Allen’s pursuit of the “thinking self” happened to perfectly align with a certain sacred image in the Archbishop’s heart —
A tiny consciousness, trapped in a physical body, so persistently exploring its own origin and reality, was like a light trying to understand why it could illuminate the darkness.
Wasn’t this itself the perfect evidence for the existence of that infinite consciousness (God) that serves as the source of all things?
To the Archbishop, it was no coincidence that Allen’s meticulously structured thoughts naturally led toward the source of divinity.
His investigation into the existence of “I” was perhaps unconsciously… revealing a certain truth.
Archbishop Lucien remembered the “Sage’s Miracle” Allen had displayed during his fierce battle with the Heretical God’s Creation, and the smile on his face became even deeper and more inscrutable.
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