“Hmph.”
“What have you two adults been whispering about all this time…?”
“Didn’t you see there’s a child right next to you?”
Si Zhizuo hopped down from the bench, her little dress falling just to the bend of her knees. She stood before Su Liumeng with her hands on her hips, extending a small hand quite righteously. “I already let you have Mama for a while; now it’s time to give her back to me.”
Su Liumeng and I exchanged a glance.
I let go of Su Liumeng’s hand and picked Si Zhizuo up. I turned to Su Liumeng and said, “Let’s go home.”
“I’ll cook personally and make a meal for you both.”
Si Zhizuo tilted her head, trying to remember.
What would Mama’s personal cooking taste like?
The barbecue from before seemed alright.
While Si Zhizuo was lost in silent thought, Su Liumeng’s body went stiff. She quickly interjected, “No, there’s no need. The baby’s body hasn’t fully recovered yet. If you really want to do something meaningful, leave the task of cooking entirely to me.”
“Hmm?” I paused, drawing out my tone. “What… do you mean by that?”
“Are you subtly hinting that I would make something poisonous?”
“No.” Su Liumeng’s palms were already sweating. She was terrified that I might suddenly get an idea and try to recreate another Manchu Han Imperial Feast.
My tone softened, and Su Liumeng’s heart finally relaxed.
“It’s fine if you cook.”
“I have to feed our daughter her milk in a bit anyway.”
“It is New Year’s Day, after all. You should be the one to handle the cooking.”
***
Inside the small courtyard, I was in the kitchen using warm water to heat a bottle.
Little Zhizhi walked with small steps to the front yard where the swings were. A few young maidservants were already there, heads bowed as they cleaned.
“How old are you all?” Si Zhizuo asked in a milky, sweet voice.
Chunyu’s eyes shimmered with stars.
That sweet, baby-like tone…
Was she talking to her?
Regarding Zhizhi’s latest title among the servants, she had been updated to “Little Princess Zhizhi.” Furthermore, she had been given a very prominent and exceptionally large “Maximum Cuteness” tag.
“This servant is fifteen years old,” Chunyu replied with her head lowered.
Chunlan was holding a broom. She had just stepped out of the storage room when she saw Little Zhizhi talking to the servants. Her eyes lit up instantly. “Little Miss, Happy New Year!”
As a personal head maid, she didn’t technically have to do menial chores. However, she was simply too bored and always wanted to find something to do, otherwise, she felt uneasy.
Si Zhizuo tilted her head.
If she was fifteen, then she was the same age as Chunlan.
Should she call her “Sister”?
However, she wasn’t the type of person who would call others “Sister.” It was just an instinctive mental categorization of seniority.
“Mama is busy in the kitchen, so I came out to play by myself.”
Si Zhizuo lost interest in the conversation. She didn’t speak to the others again. Instead, she grabbed the hem of her skirt and squatted down gently, burying her head to observe a line of ants moving house on the ground.
She brought out a small spicy strip.
This was a snack she had stored away previously. Since she hadn’t grown up yet, she hadn’t eaten it once.
As soon as the spicy strip hit the ground, countless ants began “whispering” to each other, constantly using their antennae to pass pheromones back and forth.
Si Zhizuo watched intently. Sometimes, she would even reach out her small hand to gently touch a few of the ants.
The maidservants nearby instinctively lightened their footsteps.
They were even cautious while cleaning, terrified of disturbing the Little Princess at play.
The maids were all quite young. From time to time, they would steal a glance at Little Zhizhi, nearly melting from her adorable movements.
I left the kitchen, testing the temperature of the bottle’s surface. I saw Si Zhizuo squatting on the ground, casually pressing an ant to death that was planning to crawl onto her little leather shoe.
Probably because she was too close to the ant army, there were always a few ants that got lost and tried to climb up her shoes.
Annoyed by the constant intrusion, the little one pressed a few more to death, but there were still endless black dots trying to climb up.
Fury!!
Si Zhizuo took a deep breath, appearing as if she were about to snap.
Suddenly, to my shocked eyes, she raised her small palm and slammed it violently against the ground.
In an instant, dust scattered, and the ants covering the ground were all crushed to death.
The young maids nearby stared in shock.
Reasonably, this scene was comparable to a bratty child’s tantrum, yet because it was performed by a human toddler with the face of an angel, it had a natural, invisible filter.
Particularly when the little one got angry, her cheeks would puff out. The moment her marshmallow-like face broke into a pout, stars appeared in the eyes of the other maidservants.
As expected.
When a cute creature does something, people are more inclined to forgive them.
Cuteness is justice!!!
“Ma… Mama.” Si Zhizuo noticed someone and turned around in a panic. Seeing it was her mother, she instinctively hid her small hand—still stained with ant corpses—behind her back.
Oh no.
Did she see everything?
Would Mama think she was a violent baby?
If only she had kept her perception abilities active.
I held the bottle in silence, not saying a word.
Si Zhizuo became even more nervous, her words turning incoherent. “I didn’t mean to slap them to death. Zhizhi… Zhizhi has always been a good baby. It’s not… it’s not what it looks like…”
She was almost moved to tears, not knowing how to explain.
In silence, I handed the bottle over.
Si Zhizuo looked up at me with pitiful eyes, still refusing to bring her hand out from behind her back.
I let out a deep sigh, feeling somewhat helpless. I slowly squatted down and gently rubbed her head. “Did you get your hand dirty? Stretch it out and let Mama see.”
She really did see everything.
As if she had done something terribly wrong, Si Zhizuo lowered her head and obediently stretched out her pink little hand, which was stained with dark marks.
I took out a wet wipe and carefully cleaned it.
Then I used a clean handkerchief to dry the water droplets.
Throughout the entire process, Si Zhizuo was very well-behaved, not making a single sound.
After a moment of silence, I spoke. “I thought about what Su Liumeng said—letting you develop on your own and only making sure the general direction doesn’t go wrong. I thought there wouldn’t be any issues.”
“Mm.” Si Zhizuo looked at her clean hand and quietly waited for me to continue.
“A few days ago, when you caught that tiger and bullied Little Orange like that, I really wanted to say something.”
“Crushing a tiger to death or slapping a bunch of ants to death truly isn’t much in a world where one can cultivate.”
“However, one can see the whole from a small part. I can see that a bad root has been planted. Today, you think slapping a bunch of ants is nothing. If no one tells you the reason behind it, would you be able to calmly slap a whole city of people to death when you grow up?”
“Do you want to argue? Do you want to explain to Mama that it’s not like that, that you only slapped some ants, and how could that be compared to slapping a city?”
“Admittedly, you wouldn’t do that now.”
“But this reflects a very serious problem: you have no way to correctly control your emotions.”
“It is precisely because you have no way to control your emotions that you release them so easily.”
“Young people—well, children—can have a bit of a temper, but people eventually grow up. You can’t always handle things according to your whims.”
“If you can’t manage that, what’s the difference between you and an aggressive brute who throws a fit anytime, anywhere?”
Si Zhizuo tugged at my sleeve, playing the pity card. “Mama, I’m not an aggressive brute. At most… at most, I’m… an aggressive beauty.”
I: “…”
Looking at her current appearance, she had clearly taken it to heart.
She even had the presence of mind to act pitiful. If she didn’t know the seriousness of the problem, she wouldn’t have been able to say what she just did.
I didn’t push further. Instead, I carried her over to the swing. “You’re hungry, right? I’ll talk to you later. Eat something first.”
“Mm, thank you, Mama.” Si Zhizuo’s eyes curved into crescents. For a moment, I dazed, as if I saw a reflection of myself in her.
Si Zhizuo didn’t drink slowly.
I gently patted her back.
Little Zhizhi enjoyed her mother’s tenderness, but she suddenly felt a bit uneasy in her heart.
Mama never asked her to be a saint.
To say nothing of accumulating merit or doing good deeds, she at least didn’t want her killing the innocent.
But she seemed to be born a “bad” person.
Bullying the weak was her most proficient talent. If she was unhappy, even a passing dog would have its skin peeled off.
Si Zhizuo’s mood felt inexplicably heavy. This was the first time she had been this nervous in front of her mother.
The less I spoke, the more an invisible pressure built up, as if a formal interrogation would begin at any second.
The milk she usually loved, with its hint of sweetness, now tasted like chewing wax.
Seeing that Zhizhi had almost finished, I picked up the previous topic and asked, “When you went to find that tiger this morning, did you give it a beating?”
Si Zhizuo squeezed her small hands together and stopped drinking. She stared at the incredibly clear palm lines on her newly born body. “Yes. Who told it not to play with me? I wanted to see it climb trees, roll around, and swim. If it didn’t do it for me, I would whip it with a stick.”
I was silent for a second. “Is your good behavior in front of Mama all an act?”
“I… no.” Si Zhizuo jerked her head up and grabbed the corner of my clothes. With teary eyes, she said, “When I’m living with Mama, I don’t think about those things at all. But as soon as Mama leaves my side, there’s always a voice in my heart telling me that I’ve cultivated for so many years and am already invincible in the world, so why can’t I do whatever I want? Whoever makes me unhappy, whoever doesn’t follow my wishes—I should just slap them to death and be done with it. If I can’t do as I please, then why did I bother cultivating?”
“I will do whatever makes me happy, like bullying weak creatures. I watch their helplessness as they struggle fruitlessly beneath my feet, and finally, I magnanimously spare their lives. In this process of repeatedly controlling life, I find myself somewhat obsessed with that sense of control.”
I instinctively looked up.
The blue sky and white clouds still drifted by.
A complex surge of emotions left me unable to say a word.
Si Zhizuo wanted to crawl into my arms. My body went stiff for a moment, but eventually, I let her step onto my lap. Her two small, outstretched hands were just enough to hug my neck. “Mama, can you hold Zhizhi?”
I remained silent for a moment.
Finally, I reached out my arms and pulled her in.
No matter what, she was my own child.
Ultimately, I couldn’t harden my heart.
“Your perspective, analyzed from another angle, is actually correct.”
“If I can’t do as I please, why would I work so hard to cultivate?”
“I’m already invincible. If I’m still restricted and can’t let loose for once, what was the point of all that bitter cultivation?”