The church should have been quiet in the early morning.
But today, there was a clattering racket coming from the kitchen, as if someone was using the pots and pans for a drum solo.
“Who’s holding a concert in here?”
Celia pushed open the kitchen door, only to find chaos within.
Elent already had a frying pan, two dinner knives, and a slotted spoon stuck to his back, and within seconds, a bowl joined the collection.
“Priestess, help me!”
Elent called out to Celia in panic.
As he moved, a fork that had been lying on the table seemed to be summoned and stuck to him as well.
Celia silently took a step back, hugging the newly bought Alchemical Insulated Cup to her chest and eyeing the man covered in metalware with suspicion.
“Hero, I know you’re excited about the new Magic Stove, but please don’t try to fuse with the cookware.”
“It’s not like I want this!”
Elent reached for the fork stuck at his collar and, after much effort, managed to pry it off.
But the moment he let go, the fork snapped right back onto him.
“I woke up like this! Anything iron near me just flies over and attacks me!”
Celia narrowed her eyes, her gaze settling on Elent’s hair, which was faintly crackling with purple arcs of electricity.
Looks like last night’s “Otaku Happy Water” is the culprit.
Berserk Berry contains trace amounts of lightning element, and Awakening Grass can use it to stimulate the nerves.
She didn’t know exactly what happened, but it seemed that the mixture had triggered some bizarre chemical reaction in Elent’s body.
In short, this Hero had become a walking, human-shaped magnet.
“Your body’s become magnetized because of an excess of lightning element.”
Celia gave her diagnosis.
“So what do I do? I need to practice my swordsmanship!”
Elent was so anxious he tried to scratch his head, but the armguard on his wrist immediately latched onto his helmet, pinning his hand to the side of his head.
“Just wait for it to metabolize naturally—it should take about a day.”
“In the meantime, stay away from my Magic Stove. If you break it, selling you wouldn’t cover the loss.”
Just then, a heavy pounding sounded from the courtyard door.
“Hey! Glowy girl and the big idiot inside, get out here!”
The Bandit Group from a few days ago had returned.
“Enemy attack! Priestess, hide behind me!”
The door was kicked open, and Garr stood at the entrance, flanked by more than a dozen fully armed thugs.
Unlike last time, every single one of them wore a pair of goggles.
These were goggles specifically designed to withstand bright light—in other words, sunglasses.
Garr had really gone all out to deal with the Priestess who could shine.
“Hmph! Let’s see you blind us this time!” Garr adjusted his sunglasses confidently.
Beside him stood a burly, bald man wielding a massive iron hammer.
“That’s the one I have to fight?” The bald brute eyed the cookware-clad Elent, looking puzzled.
“Ignore him, he’s an idiot. The real target is the girl!” Garr jabbed his finger at Celia.
“We can’t let our guard down!”
Elent stood protectively in front of Celia and tried to draw the Broad Sword from his back.
But the blade and the scabbard seemed firmly stuck together, unmoving.
“Damn!”
He tried swinging harder, only to spin himself and the sword around in place—the sword still wouldn’t come out.
“Haha! That idiot can’t even draw his sword!”
“Ironhead, go!”
The burly man called Ironhead bared his teeth and charged forward, dragging his huge iron hammer.
Unable to draw his sword, Elent could only raise his sheathed Broad Sword across his chest in a defensive stance.
“Die!”
Ironhead’s giant hammer came crashing down toward Elent’s head.
This blow was so powerful that it could have pulverized stone, let alone a person.
But when the hammer was still a meter away from Elent, something strange happened.
The hundred-pound iron hammer suddenly veered off course. Like a long-lost friend, it flew straight into Elent’s arms.
“What?” Ironhead felt the hammer pulling out of his grasp, an irresistible force yanking him through the air.
BANG!!!
With a deafening crash, the iron hammer didn’t land on Elent’s head, but smacked squarely into his chestplate and stuck fast.
The impact sent Elent staggering back two steps, but he wasn’t hurt.
At the critical moment, the frying pan, soup spoon, and slotted spoon on his chest formed a strange protective layer, cushioning the blow.
The scene turned rather awkward.
Ironhead still gripped the handle, dangling off Elent’s front like an ornament, his feet off the ground no matter how hard he struggled.
“Let go! Give me back my hammer!”
“I’m not holding it! It’s stuck on its own!” Elent protested, raising his hands high to show his innocence.
Garr, watching this bizarre scene, gaped wide-eyed behind his sunglasses.
“What kind of sorcery is this?!”
“Don’t just stand there, get him! There’s something weird about that kid—stab him to death with your knives!”
The remaining bandits drew their short swords and daggers and swarmed at Elent.
A dozen gleaming blades lunged at him from every direction.
Standing behind him, Celia took a bite of a Red Sun Fruit.
“Well, you brought this on yourselves.”
As soon as the blades entered within two meters of Elent, it was as if something in the air was triggered.
Purple arcs of electricity crackled over Elent’s body.
At the same moment, the bandits found their weapons moving out of their control.
“Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!”
All the short swords and daggers flew from their hands, racing to stick to Elent.
“Ahhh, I’m gonna die!” Elent screamed in despair as blades rained toward him, curling up and shutting his eyes tight.
But there was no blood or gore; every weapon stuck fast to Elent’s body.
Within seconds, Elent was wrapped up in blades like a metallic porcupine.
The bandits froze in stabbing poses, their hands suddenly empty.
They looked at the Steel Monster made of their own weapons, then at their bare hands, and fell into deep thought.
“Still want to fight?”
Elent’s voice sounded from inside the pile of scrap metal.
Then, the Steel Monster twitched.
All the built-up static electricity finally found an outlet.
Centered on Elent, a purple ring of lightning exploded outward, coursing through the stuck-on weapons to Ironhead clinging to him, then into the ground and into the feet of the surrounding bandits.
“Uwaaaahhhh—!”
The whole group convulsed in an electrified dance in the courtyard.
These heavily armed, sunglass-wearing thugs fell one by one in showers of purple sparks, foaming at the mouth.
Silence returned to the yard.
Only Elent remained standing in the center, still draped in dozens of swords and knives—and with a passed-out strongman dangling from him—utterly bewildered.
Celia strode up to the fallen bandit leader Garr.
Even though he’d guarded his eyes with sunglasses, he hadn’t protected his feet from the current.
Garr now lay twitching on the ground, sunglasses askew to reveal upturned whites of his eyes.
“Looks like I didn’t need to do anything this time.”
Celia turned to Elent.
“Priestess…” Elent poked his head out from under the pile of metal.
“Is this also part of my training?”
“Of course.”
Celia kept a straight face as she made things up.
“This is the realm of Unity of All Things. If your heart truly desires peace, your enemy’s weapons will throw themselves into your embrace to prevent bloodshed.”
“So that’s it!”
Elent’s eyes sparkled in the gaps between weapons.
“Such a noble state! I’ll keep working hard!”
“Good.” Celia nodded, then pointed at the loot littering the ground.
“Let’s tie these people up and send them to the city for the Association to deal with. While we’re at it, let’s sell off all this scrap metal.”
“And be careful not to knock over my Magic Stove while you’re at it.”
Whats a farce.