“What?”
“I’m sick?!”
As soon as they returned to the rented apartment, Ji Yuennian snatched the mental evaluation report that Jiang Chi had been trying to hide all the way, her eyes widening as she stared at the last line in glaring, bold red characters.
“Chi Bao, is this for real?” Ji Yuennian clutched the mental evaluation report, reading it over and over again, still clinging to a sliver of hope as she asked again.
“Mild psychosis, don’t be nervous.”
Jiang Chi tapped his own head, completely calm: “I have it too, mild paranoia.”
“Damn, you’re actually mentally ill!” Ji Yuennian couldn’t help blurting out, looking at him in terror, her body trembling. Then her hands reached up to feel her own head, as if carefully checking something.
“So what about me, is it irritability disorder or something else? No wonder everything’s felt off these days, turns out it’s the mental illness acting up.”
“Right, did the doctor say whether my condition is serious? Will it affect my intelligence or daily life?”
“Do you think I should be hospitalized for treatment?”
“Right, Jiang Chi… no, Chi Bao, wait, that’s not right, Jiang-ge, please don’t suddenly snap and stab me, okay? Just keep calm, if not for anything else, at least for all the times we’ve been bed partners.”
Watching the panicked, completely out-of-character long-haired big sister in front of him, Jiang Chi’s mouth twitched: “Mild psychosis, as long as your emotions don’t get too agitated, it won’t be too serious. Just like now, try to calm down first.”
After hearing this, Ji Yuennian took several deep breaths, struggling to steady her emotions.
“Do I need to take medicine?” she asked Jiang Chi, worried.
“You need abstinence.” The man answered this way.
September 25th: Took Ji Yuennian for another physical and mental check-up. Slow uterine development, surging estriol hormone, plus psychosis. I never thought Ji Yuennian had so many problems.
Ji Yuennian didn’t stay over this time. After taking a phone call, she hurried off. Judging from the voice, it seemed to be Brother Haotong.
Before leaving, she still asked me to hurry up and help her come up with an idea to solve the big headache of “bringing a girlfriend home.”
At this point, the pen paused slightly. Jiang Chi put down the pen and got up, walking over to the window to part the curtains and look out. The sky was already pitch black.
Though the sky was dark, the lights shone even brighter. Tall buildings crowded together, crowds flowed endlessly, and traffic was a stream of lights. Gazing at this enchanting night, he couldn’t help but think of Wanqing City’s development in recent years, and from there, his thoughts wandered to the city’s high schools, and finally, to the person at the school.
Ji Yuennian.
The man murmured softly.
His fingertips unconsciously brushed over an unopened book on the desk. The cover was a vibrant blend of red and white. The title read “The White Moonlight and the Vermilion Mole.”
The story is roughly about the entangled love and hatred between the male lead and two female leads—unable to let go of the emotional comfort given by the white moonlight, nor the bodily entanglement with the vermilion mole.
Jiang Chi felt the male lead was quite similar to himself, enjoying the pleasure Ji Yuennian brought in bed, yet longing for the spiritual comfort she would offer after she fully descended into becoming “Ji Qingchan.”
So, he bought a physical copy of the book.
Currently, he was at the point where the male lead was torn between choosing the vermilion mole or the white moonlight, still several volumes away from the grand finale.
Moonlight streamed down, pouring through the open curtains into the room, also spilling into Jiang Chi’s palm—a patch of silver white.
He couldn’t help but recall his conversation today in the psychotherapy room with Zhang Junfang. Jiang Chi vaguely realized his values had changed.
Once, he believed the essence of love was acceptance—acceptance between couples, lovers, husbands and wives—mutual tolerance and comfort.
But now, he himself had changed. The normal, sweet process of liking, pursuing, and falling in love between couples was gone.
He had become someone who valued “control” above all else.
Just like how he treated Ji Yuennian—there was no liking, no love, only an intense possessiveness and desire for control.
A child’s fondness for a toy isn’t out of true affection, but simply because he wants it and has never owned it before. Maybe, one day, the child will tire of the toy and throw it away without a second thought.
“Perhaps, I’m not just mildly psychotic anymore,” the man laughed at himself.
Night fell like a curtain, spreading down. The evening breeze swept across the city, tree branches creaked softly, and on the double bed, a youth lay quietly sleeping, his eyes closed, with a lingering mist on his curved eyelashes.
Ji Yuennian, tell me, how am I supposed to treat you?
Why can’t you be two people? Why can’t you have a little sister or an older sister?
Even—even—if only a substitute, that would be enough. I really don’t want to face another choice, don’t want a one-or-the-other, don’t want to lose again.
*****
“Finally shook off Mengmeng Bunny.”
“Thanks, little bro. If it weren’t for you, I almost would’ve been dragged to the hot spring villa by Mengmeng Bunny.”
In the bar, Ji Haotong cheered and then called over the bartender, ordering two cocktails—one for himself, one for Ji Yuennian.
Ji Yuennian sat at the counter, her beautiful legs crossed, chin-length short hair framing her face. She wore tight black pants, showing off her long, straight legs and sexy collarbones.
Between her fingers was a cigarette. Her red lips parted as she exhaled a ring of smoke.
“Little bro, don’t zone out.”
Ji Haotong handed her the drink: “Why the long face, all gloomy? I’ve even ordered you a drink this time. Sure, it’s not great for kids to drink alcohol, but once in a while won’t hurt.”
“Bro, I’m 18.” Ji Yuennian’s mouth twitched.
“So what? As long as I’m alive, you’ll always be my little bro.” Ji Haotong took a sip of his cocktail. He wore an Adi Wang T-shirt, his strong arms exposed, wheat-colored skin glowing under the lights. On his right arm, though, a shocking scar stood out.
“Come on, what’s on your mind? Money troubles again?”
Ji Yuennian shook her head and, glancing at that scar, tilted her head back, her bright eyes gazing at the ceiling. After a long silence, she spoke.
“Bro, do you think people with mental illnesses nowadays still randomly stab others?”
“Depends on the case. Some do, some don’t.”
Ji Haotong took another sip of his cocktail. Glancing at Ji Yuennian, who had seemed distracted since earlier—brothers know each other best—how could he not guess what was on her mind?
“I know that thing still haunts you, but it’s been so many years. Besides, my little bro is a beast now, undefeated record, can take on 1V5 easy—what’s to be afraid of?”
To outsiders, the pair’s totally disjointed conversation might seem strange, but the brother-“sister” duo, Ji Haotong and Ji Yuennian, knew exactly what they were talking about.
Ten years ago, the four members of the Ji family went for an outing in the suburbs and ended up running into a mentally ill patient who had escaped from the hospital and was armed with a knife. The patient was ultimately shot and killed by Ji Hong.
But at the time, the patient left a scar on the then-eighteen-year-old Ji Haotong’s arm as he shielded the little boy, and also left a “scar” deep in Ji Yuennian’s heart.
That incident became a nightmare that haunted Ji Yuennian for years, and also the motivation for her relentless physical training.