Chapter 22: If You Can’t Win, Run Away

Noon, sunset.

Time passed in a flash.

I gnawed on the turf, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lu Xiu sitting cross-legged on the lawn, unmoving like an old monk in meditation.

A few ants climbed up the blades of grass, making their way onto his cuffs and up along his arm, but he still didn’t move.

Is he dead?

Why hasn’t he moved for so long?

“Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey—” I spat out the bits of grass from my mouth, rolled over, and edged closer to him.

Done.

Even when I bumped into his back, he still didn’t wake up.

I got up and walked to face him, only to realize this guy had, at some point, fallen asleep with his eyes closed.

“What the… he’s even worse than me.” At least I’ve never fallen asleep on a mission.

Eat.

Since he’s asleep, can I go do something I’m not supposed to?

It’s a tempting thought.

But I’m scared of getting scolded.

Still, it’s tempting.

After thinking it over, I decided to just let myself go.

Hard-won freedom shouldn’t be wasted.

A breach.

“Hahaha—”

I dashed off barefoot into the distance, the itchy grass tips leaving marks on my soles, caked with dirt.

Eat, eat, hehe.

I grabbed a handful of shrubs and stuffed them into my big mouth, then mushrooms, then berries…

Devour it all!

My big mouth hadn’t had such a feast in ages, and my tongue stretched out eagerly, rolling up everything and stuffing it into my belly.

Of course, I wasn’t stupid—during my meal, I kept glancing at Lu Xiu every so often. Only when he didn’t react did I eat with peace of mind.

But I was still ravenously hungry, as if no matter how much I ate, my stomach would never be full.

I used to be satisfied with just a little food.

So I stopped looking for the little stuff and started gnawing on trees. Relying on my big mouth’s powerful bite, I chomped a huge chunk out of the whole tree.

The taste was kind of weird.

Whatever, who cares.

What’s this? A flower? Take a bite.

What’s this? An ant? Take a bite. What’s this? A slide? Take a bite. What’s this? An electric pole? Take a bite. “LEVELE……”

Oww………

Why’s there still electricity in this thing!

I spat out a piece of metal, kicked it aside, and the broken shard tinkled as it landed far away.

Turning back, I saw Lu Xiu still hadn’t moved.

Logically, after eating so much, he should have noticed.

I stopped eating, thought for a bit, and walked toward him.

“Seaweed Ball? Seaweed Ball?”

I waved my hand in front of his face.

“Hey…are you deaf or what?”

Poke.

No reaction.

I reached out and pinched his cheeks, pulling them apart.

“Still no response?”

Is he really dead?

No, if something happened to him, I’d be done for too.

But I’m fine.

So what’s going on?

I didn’t get it—I’m not Lu Xiu, after all.

But someone should know.

So I decided to use his phone to make a call. Lu Xiu taught me how to call before. I forgot the exact steps, but I remembered the general idea.

I reached into his mysterious pocket…

“Eh?”

Why is there nothing inside?

I frowned.

Didn’t he used to keep a bunch of stuff in here?

Not convinced, I started searching his clothes at random.

This pocket—empty…

That pocket—empty.

“Why is there nothing at all!”

I was getting annoyed.

Just then, a tickling sensation ran up my calf. Frowning, I looked down and found a green strap slowly winding around my leg.

I followed the strap, looking toward the riverbank.

It came from the river.

I immediately thought of that super seaweed ball.

My already sour mood got even worse.

What’s this guy up to? Trying to drag me into the river and eat me?

Fuming, I opened my mouth and bit the strap.

It didn’t feel like a blade of grass but more like living fascia, still elastic when bitten through.

I smacked my lips, chewed, and swallowed.

The taste… wasn’t bad at all.

That endless hunger seemed to ease a little.

Could this thing fill me up more than the other food?

If that’s the case…

A smile crept onto my face.

Hehe.

I looked at Lu Xiu, then at the river.

“I’ll just be gone a little while, I’ll be right back.”

I didn’t know who I was saying that to, then took off running toward the river, grabbing the green strap as it tried to shrink back into the water.

Come here, you!

I yanked hard, wrestling with whatever was in the river.

“Heave-ho—”

My long tongue stretched from my big mouth, wrapping around the green strap and helping me pull with all my might.

One step…two steps…

I started to gain the upper hand. The once-calm river surface erupted with countless boiling bubbles and ripples.

Rustle——

Suddenly, several more green straps shot out from the river, wrapping around my arms and legs.

“Eh?”

Before I could react, I was yanked into the air and thrown toward the water.

Splash!

Clumps of water flooded my throat, making me cough uncontrollably—the more I coughed, the more water rushed in.

My hands and feet were all tangled up, my body dragged toward the bottom.

If I can’t break free, then I’ll just eat my way out!

I bit down on the strap around my hand, my sharp teeth slicing through the thin membrane, jaws locking tight.

Rip——

The strap snapped with a squirt of gray-green liquid.

I took the chance to bite off another chunk and swallowed it down.

My other hand did the same—biting through, then grabbing the strap on my foot, mouth wide open.

Before I could bite down, something weird wrapped around my neck and tightened.

A strap had somehow looped behind me and was strangling my neck.

I flailed desperately, more and more bubbles rising to the surface and bursting above.

Countless straps wound around my mouth and body, mummifying me as I was dragged into the pitch-black riverbed.

Ugh… I’m gonna suffocate…

I struggled, the straps squeezing tighter and tighter, making me ache.

The big mouth on my belly suddenly split open, sharp fangs flashing out and biting down, devouring all the straps around my belly.

My long tongue whipped out, slicing through the rest of my bonds like a blade, freeing me—but there were still endless straps below. I realized if this went on, I’d be strangled for sure.

So I gave up fighting and had my tongue spin furiously, creating a massive whirlpool that sucked me upward and shot me out.

Pffft——

Falling.

A water column erupted from the river, launching me into the sky. My long tongue immediately shriveled, and I grabbed one end, letting it turn back into a parachute to float me gently down.

I spat out a mouthful of salty river water, my whole body soaked.

Looking back—

In the center of the river stood a black shadow, countless straps on its body looking fierce and terrifying in the dim light.

Seeing that, I wrapped my tongue around the still-sleeping Lu Xiu and bolted for the park exit.

No way I’m fighting that—better run first!