Waited until noon.
My stomach rumbled, and I was so hungry I could chew on grass.
“So hungry, so hungry, so hungry, so hungry, so hungry, so hungry…”
Even my voice was weak and feeble.
“You never stop with that mouth of yours, hungry hungry hungry—shouting about it only makes you hungrier.”
Lu Xiu looked at me with those dead-fish eyes, a blade of grass stuck in his mouth at some point.
“But we’ve been waiting for so long…there hasn’t been a single movement…
“It’s only been three or four hours, all right? Back in the day, we could squat here for a whole day. If you can’t take this little hardship, how are you supposed to handle future missions?”
“But I really am starving.”
I pouted.
“tsk.” Lu Xiu impatiently fumbled in his pocket, then tossed me a small package.
I caught it and found it was a pack of compressed biscuits.
“Wow, thank you, Lu Xiu! You’re such a good guy!” I showered him with praise without the slightest reservation.
He couldn’t be bothered to respond.
“What now?”
“These biscuits are expired.”
Seeing his silence, I added, “They expired last year.”
“I can’t help that. Make do, will you?”
“Eh… But can you really eat expired stuff?”
“……Did you worry about that when you ate coins or ants before?”
I was still a bit reluctant.
Poking at the package, I wrinkled my nose.
“That’s because they weren’t expired. The ants were still alive and kicking, and coins never go bad…”
“……I really don’t understand how your brain works.”
Lu Xiu sighed, annoyed, then dug around in his Miao Miao pocket for a good while before finding a pack of biscuits that were just about to expire.
“Here, eat and then shut up.”
“Okay.”
I happily took the biscuits and started munching away.
Only after eating did the endless hunger finally subside a little. I wasn’t full, but at least I felt alive again.
We kept waiting.
Until dusk settled in.
“Gurgle—”
My stomach growled again, and I looked down in confusion.
Hmm… not mine.
I looked at Lu Xiu. He kept a straight face, the afterglow of dusk carving fine shadows on it.
“Gurgle——”
This time, I heard it clearly.
“Ha! Seaweed Ball! Your stomach’s growling!”
“Shut up!”
“You’re hungry! Let’s go eat!”
“If you want to eat, go by yourself.”
“Oh, then I’m leaving.”
I said, pretending to get up.
“Wait, you’re actually leaving just because I said so?”
“Eh? Didn’t you just say I could go? Are you going back on your word?”
“You got any money?”
“No.”
“Then what are you going to eat?”
“That’s none of your business.”
He covered his face.
“Wait another hour. After that, we’ll eat together, then resume surveillance.”
“No buts.”
I sat back down.
The setting sun slowly dipped behind distant buildings, leaving only the darkening night.
I couldn’t help but yawn.
Sleepy.
Hungry too.
Just then, I thought I glimpsed a shadow flicker over the river. I was about to tell Lu Xiu, but saw that he was already watching intently.
I closed my mouth.
Gradually, the shadow became clearer. In the dim night, I could distinctly see an arm— the severed arm from the girl earlier— being held high by the shadow.
Lu Xiu gestured at the newcomer couple, then took my hand and quietly led me into the riverside bushes.
The shadow didn’t notice us, fully focused on putting the arm into its mouth and chewing.
Crunch—crunch——
It sounded like a dozen rollers grinding, a strange noise filling the air, which was thick with the salty dampness.
At last, as we crept as close as we dared, I saw it clearly.
It was an enormous Seaweed Ball!
Really, a seaweed ball!
Its whole body was covered with all kinds of aquatic plants, viscous fluids dripping from the ends, causing ripples in the water wherever they fell.
At the same time, the lake started to boil, steam rising as one shadow after another floated to the surface, swaying like empty plastic bottles.
They were seaweed balls too, but much smaller than the one in the center.
This went on for about half an hour. Then, the mist suddenly thickened, blurring my sight. When it cleared, the river was calm again.
Lu Xiu still held my hand. Ten minutes later, he stood up.
“Whew… Looks like there really are Water Monkeys after all.”
“What’s a Water Monkey?”
“Can’t eat it.”
“I never said I wanted to eat it.”
He looked at the newcomer. “File a report to the department—preliminary assessment: local abnormality, designation GD. Estimated Guai Class, but evolution is possible.”
“Y-yes, okay.”
The newcomer nodded.
Lu Xiu gave a few more instructions before taking me away.
“Food…food!”
I chanted as I walked.
“Eat, eat, eat, all you think about is food. Let me ask you, do you understand what I just said?”
Hands in his pockets, Lu Xiu strolled along with a laid-back air.
“Nope.”
I answered honestly.
“Then you get no food.”
“Eh?! Why! That’s bullying!”
“Did you forget why I brought you out here?”
“Wasn’t it to have fun?”
He fell silent.
And in that silence, I suddenly remembered what he’d said to me this morning: “Listen up, today I’m going to teach you how to identify abnormality classes.”
“Do you remember now?”
“I think I sort of do.”
“So, what did you learn?”
I grinned, scratching my head.
I learned… grass doesn’t taste good.
And biscuits that are about to expire can be eaten.
Seeing my “innocent” face, his last hopes finally died.
“Fine, fine, I’ll teach you again. This time, I swear I’ll get it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
He thought for a bit, then nodded: “Alright, listen closely.”
“First, about the abnormality designations, how much do you remember?”
“Mm, and then?”
“That’s it.”
He looked at me for a moment. “Do you know what GD means?”
“No idea.”
“I knew it… GD is an abbreviation. G stands for ‘guai dan’ (abnormality), D is for ‘diqu’ (regional), so together it means ‘abnormality—regional category.’ Got it?”
“Why so complicated…”
“Who knows? The higher-ups love fancy tricks. The original proposal was to use English initials, but someone objected, said we shouldn’t worship foreigners, so now it’s pinyin initials. But I gotta admit, it’s kind of interesting.”
“I don’t think so.” I pouted.
“As for the classes, according to disaster strength, there are four levels, from lowest to highest: Guai Class, Xiong Class, Zai Class, Jie Class.”
“Guai Class covers ordinary anomalies or low-level demons—a standard or trainee squad can handle those.”
“Xiong Class could threaten an entire block, strong anomalies or mid-level demons, so a full Hound Squad is needed. Zai Class threatens an entire city—think high-level demons.”
“That’s when the whole department needs to mobilize, with multiple Hound Squads and Containment Items.”
My stomach itches, feels like my brain is growing.
“So what about Jie Class?” I naturally asked.
“Jie… that’s just another word for Catastrophe. When it’s called Catastrophe, your only option is to run. Catastrophes are events that can seriously impact an entire country or civilization. No matter how many Hound Squads you send, it’s pointless.”
“That’s why I keep stressing the danger of Catastrophes. If you break it down, there are different levels within Catastrophes, too, but if I keep going, your little brain probably won’t get it.”
“Long as you know.”
“How can you say that so self-righteously…”
I reviewed it all in my mind, then looked at him and nodded. “I totally get it now. Test me!”
“Hmm… then, what class was the Nonexistent Elevator we encountered?”
“Guai Class! You told me before.”
He nodded, finally a glimmer of pride in his eyes.
“Then what about No. 24 Subway?”
“No idea.”
That glimmer was shattered in an instant.
“…You could at least guess, that’s better than ‘no idea.’”
“Then… Guai Class?”
“You actually guessed?”
“Why are you like this! Guess and you’re mad, don’t guess and you’re still mad, you’re just pure unhappiness!”
“Then you’re just brainless.” He shot back.
“I am not.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Bounce-back!” I unleashed my ultimate move.
“Bounce-back is invalid!” He wouldn’t be outdone.
“Invalidates your invalid bounce-back!”
“Stop, stop, enough arguing, you’re like little kids.”
He reached out to interrupt us.
“I’m not a little kid.”
“The subway is Xiong Class, because a suspected root-level demon is involved. That’s why the code starts with E. Got it?”
“Got it.”
He sighed in relief. “Then repeat what I just said.”
“Okay.”
I nodded.
“You’re brainless.”
Lu Xiu: …