“But why?”
Xu Ruobing gently sat beside Jiang Lai, pulling the emotional Jiang Jiang tightly into her arms. She stroked her hair, the silky strands feeling wonderful to the touch.
Jiang Lai, held in her arms, tensed up slightly. Xu Ruobing reached out as if to hold Jiang Lai’s hand, but stopped midway and placed her hand on Jiang Lai’s shoulder instead.
“Jiang Jiang, you have to be careful, very careful—no, extremely careful with your first time. You absolutely can’t give it away so easily, not even if the person is me.”
Xu Ruobing knew that, realistically, she wasn’t the right person to say such things. Remembering what happened between her and Jiang Lai that first night, Xu Ruobing felt that she wasn’t someone worthy of such trust.
What Xu Ruobing wanted now was simply to stay by Jiang Lai’s side. That feeling, the wish to always be there for her, would never change, no matter what.
If it had been before… If Jiang Lai had said those things, Xu Ruobing might have agreed without hesitation. But this was Jiang Lai’s first time, and that made it all the more important to be cautious.
“Your first time, Jiang Lai, you must give it to someone you truly like.”
Xu Ruobing liked Jiang Lai. If Jiang Lai were willing to give her first time to her, Xu Ruobing would be overjoyed and surprised. But that could only happen if Jiang Lai truly, willingly wanted it.
“Jiang Jiang, do you really like me? Not just a vague fondness, but the kind of love where you can’t help but think of me, where you want to be together always.”
Jiang Lai had already seen what happened before. Was she giving her first time to Xu Ruobing out of gratitude, as repayment for kindness? If it was just that, there was no need for her to go this far.
“Or… why do you want to give your first time to me?”
Xu Ruobing’s question left Jiang Lai speechless. After a long silence, Jiang Lai mouthed silent words with her lips.
Jiang Lai parted her lips slightly, as if to speak. But even Xu Ruobing, who was pressed right against her, couldn’t hear what she said. Judging from the shape of her lips, it seemed she was saying she didn’t know.
Why did she choose Xu Ruobing?
Because Xu Ruobing was so good to her, so good that Jiang Lai felt she could never repay her kindness. That’s why, whenever something good happened, Jiang Lai always thought of Xu Ruobing first.
This wasn’t because there was some deep feeling between them, but rather a subconscious urge on Jiang Lai’s part to repay her. Even though she had told herself again and again, she still couldn’t help thinking this way.
Jiang Lai was fully aware that the reason she wanted to give her first time to Xu Ruobing was simply that, given the choice between Si Yina and Xu Ruobing, she would rather give it to Xu Ruobing.
Besides, Xu Ruobing was the only option left by her side. Whether it was what she really wanted or just reality forcing her hand, Jiang Lai’s only choice was Xu Ruobing. But thinking this way made Jiang Lai feel she was projecting her own will onto Xu Ruobing with malice.
As if, just because she’d decided, Xu Ruobing had to agree. But Xu Ruobing had her own thoughts and could choose whether or not to accept.
“I’m sorry. Let’s just pretend I never brought this up today, all right?”
There was no way Jiang Lai could truly explain things to Xu Ruobing. If she did, Xu Ruobing would definitely go all out against Si Yina, and that would bring endless trouble.
Jiang Lai didn’t want things to turn out that way. Xu Ruobing was special to her, though perhaps not quite like her daughter or her sister-in-law, but in some ways not much different.
The longer Jiang Lai stayed by Xu Ruobing’s side, the more special Xu Ruobing became in her heart. She was the one Jiang Lai most longed for. Sometimes, when she looked at Xu Ruobing, Jiang Lai felt as though a faint halo surrounded her, like a goddess.
In a way, Jiang Lai had long since become Xu Ruobing’s fan. If it hadn’t been for Xu Ruobing’s help, for finding her a new sense of value, Jiang Lai couldn’t imagine how muddled her life would be now.
No matter what, Jiang Lai would never allow anyone to destroy her family, nor would she ever let anyone hurt those she cared about.
Jiang Lai loved everyone so much. Her daughter, her sister-in-law, and now Xu Ruobing, who stayed by her side. Even though she was weak, she still wanted to do her best to protect them all.
Si Yina was a scoundrel. If there was no one else to choose from, did she really have to give her first time to her?
Jiang Lai refused. She didn’t want that to happen at all. Leaving aside the pain or discomfort, if Si Yina realized she’d taken Jiang Lai’s first time, with her awful character, she’d surely feel smug.
Jiang Lai didn’t want to add to her satisfaction in that way. If nobody wanted her, if no one was willing, then she’d take matters into her own hands.
Midnight came. After everyone in the room had celebrated the new year, they were faced with the small dilemma of dividing up the rooms.
Jiang Lai’s house only had three rooms, but there were four people. That meant two would have to share a room. But who would it be?
As Jiang Lai was considering whether she should sleep on the sofa tonight, Chi Yingyu volunteered to share a room with Xu Ruobing.
“My bed is big enough for two. We’ll just need an extra blanket. Ruobing… you don’t mind sleeping with me, do you?”
Xu Ruobing looked at Chi Yingyu, who’d invited her. Though she wasn’t sure why her usually unfriendly younger sister wanted to sleep together, she did have something she wanted to discuss with her.
As for Jiang Lai’s first time, Xu Ruobing didn’t think she was being deceived. If it really was her first time, it was no wonder Jiang Lai had responded so shyly to her teasing.
Chi Yingyu’s situation was rather awkward.
Seeing both of them agreeing, Jiang Lai, as the host, thought Xu Ruobing should have a guest room to herself, but since both had agreed… she couldn’t really object.
Still, with her own room to herself, Jiang Lai could finally do what she’d been planning. She wondered if she could find information online about how to gently experience her first time.
While Jiang Lai was alone in her room exploring her own body, the atmosphere between Chi Yingyu and Xu Ruobing was unbearably awkward.
From the moment they lay down, both of them stayed rigidly on their backs, not moving or saying a word, each waiting to see who would give in first.
Chi Yingyu turned slightly, glancing at Xu Ruobing’s stunning profile out of the corner of her eye, and asked in a low voice, “So, what exactly did you do in the bedroom?”
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