“Don’t be too impatient.
The baby will crawl one day, sooner or later.”
I hurried over and scooped my daughter up from the carpet in one swift motion. “Who cares about you, hmm?”
“My Zhizhi is a genius, she’s definitely different from other babies.”
Su Liumeng looked at Sizhizhi, who was crying so hard she could barely catch her breath, and then at Sixinyan, who was so convinced her daughter was born extraordinary, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to respond.
This time, the baby was crying especially hard. As I listened to her sobs, I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t a good mother at all—instead, it felt almost as if I were abusing her.
“Is she hungry?”
“Does she want to eat something?”
As a first-time mother, I was frantic and at my wit’s end. When I looked down, I met a pair of big, wet eyes, full of fear, staring straight at me. Her little hands clung desperately to the front of my shirt, as if worried that if she let go, her mother would abandon her again, just like before.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s Mama’s fault.
Mama promises, I’ll never leave you behind again.”
Looking into those eyes, all I felt was overwhelming guilt. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything harsh at all.
She sniffled hard—a bit choked up from crying so fiercely, she could hardly breathe. I gently patted her back to help her catch her breath.
After a while, once her mood finally calmed down, I fed her a little food, and only then did she drift off to sleep in my arms.
Holding my daughter, I returned to the living room. Su Liumeng was still standing where she was.
This time, I didn’t put my daughter back in the stroller. Instead, I kept her in my arms and exchanged a slightly helpless look with Su Liumeng.
“Are you going out shopping later?” Su Liumeng asked. “It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with me.”
I gazed at my daughter’s sleeping face and slowly shook my head. “I just can’t trust anyone else to take care of Zhizhi. Once she’s a little older, I’ll take her out with us.”
A little older—probably when she can walk on her own.
Maybe after she turns one.
By the time she’s two or three, she’ll already be able to understand quite a lot of what people say.
And after another year on top of that, it’ll be time for kindergarten—she’ll still need adults to look after her, but at least she won’t fall ill at the slightest breeze anymore.
I remembered what Sizhiruo had said to me.
When she was three or four, I’d need to take her out on my own, to help her search for the origins of her memories, long buried.
Just thinking about that crazed, black-clad figure in my mind made my heart seize with anxiety.
A ghost child picked up by an evil cultivator—what happened after that, there was no need to spell it out.
Perhaps…
There had already been some abuse that I’d come to hate…
*****
At night.
I stared at the swaying curtains, my gaze deep and distant, still thinking about the day’s events.
Suddenly, an arm slipped around me from behind. Su Liumeng’s warm breath brushed against my neck. “What’s wrong? Are you still upset?”
Looking at the little figure sleeping soundly in the crib, my mood dipped further. “I… I’m fine.”
“I was just thinking about something to do with our daughter.”
Su Liumeng hugged me tighter, but I had no mind for any romantic feelings. I simply stared blankly at the baby lying on the bed.
In the darkness, only a single soft light glowed at the head of the bed.
Bathed in the gentle glow, the little one turned over, her eyelashes trembling up and down under my gaze.
Finally, her little eyelids lifted.
She opened her big, dark eyes and stared at me intently.
I didn’t miss the joy shining in her gaze. Instinctively, I reached out my hand, and she lifted her tiny palm. Our hands met in mid-air.
Su Liumeng was still hugging me from behind. I struggled a little, and only after a few complaints and grumbles did she finally loosen her grip.
“Don’t hold me so tight—”
“I need to go comfort the baby.”
Hearing the growing discontent in my voice, Su Liumeng couldn’t help sticking out a finger—just like when she teased the little one—and gently poked a cute dimple into my soft cheek.
“You have your own baby.”
“But you’re my baby, too.”
“Xiaoyan, I’m a little jealous.”
Su Liumeng’s sulky tone made my heart flutter uncontrollably. With my daughter in my arms, I pressed my face against her jelly-soft little cheek and, tilting my head, looked at the girl in front of me. “Well… what should we do? Why don’t I hold you, too?”
“Yiya!”
The little one, upon hearing my words, was grinning wide one second, and the next, she reached out her little paw and slapped Su Liumeng right on the nose without hesitation.
Pa!
That smack landed clear and loud in the darkness.
I stared at the handprint on Su Liumeng’s face, falling silent.
Su Liumeng gave me a look as if she were about to tattle.
Are you going to do something about your daughter?
I pinched little Zhizhi’s paw.
Her mood hadn’t settled yet, and her little eyes were still glaring at Su Liumeng, full of displeasure.
Not content with just her hands, she started kicking her chubby little legs, aiming straight for Su Liumeng’s face.
“How can you hit people?” I said, staring sternly at the little one, ready to start a lesson only a mother could give.
Little Zhizhi was still blissfully unaware of the gravity of her actions, relishing the fun of having smacked the “bad guy,” her mouth open in a delighted giggle.
Lately, I hadn’t been paying much attention to these things, but her behavior was only getting worse, and I really couldn’t ignore it anymore.
This wasn’t the first time Su Liumeng had been hit either, which made me even more determined to teach my daughter a thing or two.
Seeing my face grow more and more serious, the little one—who could already understand a lot—immediately drooped her face as well.
I held her little hand, my tone turning earnest. “She may not be your mother, but she’s my partner. When Mama doesn’t have time to take care of you, she’s the one who feeds you. It’s one thing not to let her hold you, but how can you keep hitting her?”
“This isn’t the first time you’ve hit someone, is it?”
“Do you think what you did was right?”
Seeing my tone get more and more severe, Su Liumeng tugged my pajamas. “Forget it, she’s just a baby. Maybe she doesn’t even understand what you’re saying. It was just an accident, why are you getting worked up over a little kid?”
I glared at Su Liumeng. “Su Liumeng, don’t talk.”
“A mother knows her own child’s heart. Do you think I can’t tell whether she understands or not?”
“She always pretends to be pitiful. When you scold her, she acts like she doesn’t understand a thing. But when no one’s scolding her, she understands everything.”
“Sizhuangyu!” I stared at her seriously.
The little one shrank back, clutching my neck with both arms, refusing to lift her head no matter what.
Su Liumeng: “….”
That pitiful look didn’t resemble someone who couldn’t understand a word at all.
So all this time, she’d just been pretending. This little one didn’t have trouble understanding—she simply didn’t want to pay attention.
Now, Su Liumeng finally believed it.
This little girl who couldn’t even crawl yet—she’d long since been able to understand what everyone was saying.