Chapter 35: The Two Sides of Love

Morning.

I was still in a deep sleep.

The dormitory was empty except for me.

The thunderous shouting of slogans from downstairs once again pulled me out of a sweet dream.

I had just opened my eyes, still a bit groggy, and couldn’t help letting out a yawn.

“Good morning, baby.”

My sweet voice echoed through the dorm.

The ghost baby didn’t respond to my words—or maybe she simply ignored them altogether.

But that didn’t stop me from wanting to build a habit.

I had already decided last night: I’d talk to the ghost baby more often whenever I could.

One day, I would win her over.

Success comes to those who try.

Opportunities favor the prepared.

I refused to believe that the day of delivery would be my end—

That I’d be scrapped and remade into some broken mess.

Stretching lazily as I yawned, my tight pajamas pulled taut—

The sound of threads straining at the collar startled me, and I quickly lowered my arms in panic.

I made an instant decision:

I needed to buy a bigger nightgown. Immediately.

After I finished washing up—

“Should I give you a name?”

I mumbled to myself. The air stayed silent for a long time.

Just when I thought no one would answer, a soft little voice echoed in my mind.

“What name?”

The ghost baby’s voice had become softer and stickier.

When she wasn’t raging, it was hard to tell she was a vengeful spirit at all—none of that usual piercing shrillness.

“Oh, you’re awake?” I asked.

“Mm.”

The ghost baby replied from deep inside my sea of consciousness, her expression blank.

“So, what name?”

Her body hadn’t fully formed yet, so she couldn’t even roll over in the amniotic fluid.

All she could do was zone out inside my mind and kill time.

The corners of my lips lifted gradually—

I was in a great mood.

Wow, what a coincidence.

She happened to hear me just as I was talking to her.

The ghost baby glanced at my expression and rolled her eyes.

With her tsundere personality, there was no way she’d admit she’d woken up just because she heard me calling her.

“I can’t just keep calling you ‘baby’ all the time, right?”

I tried to phrase it logically and earnestly.

“You need a proper name.”

Three seconds later, I got a cold reply:

“Whatever… suit yourself.”

A soft smile bloomed on my face, with a hint of cautious boldness as I probed gently:

“How about taking my last name?”

“You see, since you’re always going to be my—”

Before I could finish the sentence, the ghost baby’s slightly impatient voice cut me off:

“Whatever. I don’t care.”

Not rejecting outright was already a kind of acceptance.

After spending these past few days with her, I’d basically figured out how to tiptoe across a tiger’s whiskers—learning to navigate her personality with care.

She added with a grumpy edge:

“If you dare give me an ugly name, a beating is the least you’ll get…”

*****

Deep in the sea of consciousness—

A little girl was staring blankly at her own palm.

Her expression now was completely different from the fierce tone she had when she spoke earlier.

She didn’t dislike the idea of me giving her a name.

In fact, when she heard me say we’d share the same surname, there was a strange tremor deep in her bloodline—subtle but undeniable.

Born from the same source, connected by flesh and bone.

The ghost baby liked this unexplainable feeling.

That was probably why her tone had come off so blunt when we spoke—it wasn’t out of real annoyance.

“Mhm, I’ll definitely give you a name you’ll like.”

I looked serious, already deep in thought.

From behind the many barriers within my sea of consciousness, the ghost baby stared at my expression in a daze.

After a while, she rolled over in frustration.

She didn’t want to force herself to understand things she couldn’t figure out.

After all, she was originally a vengeful ghost—

Becoming more and more humanlike meant she needed time to grow and learn.

So she wasn’t in any hurry.

I changed into a white summer dress and casually tied my hair into a high ponytail.

Just like that, I instantly looked full of life.

It was still hot outside—if I didn’t tie up my hair, I’d be drenched in sweat in no time.

*****

10:15 AM.

I muttered to myself, amazed at how good I was getting at sleeping in.

Turning off my phone screen, I locked the dorm room and walked out the iron gate of the girls’ dorm with my head held high.

“Xiaoyan!”

Shangguan Xiyue waved at me. She looked like she’d just gotten up too—

Or maybe… she’d just been waiting at the entrance for me to come downstairs.

“You’re here? Why didn’t you message me first?”

I noticed the sweat on her forehead and strands of damp hair, and couldn’t help but sound a bit reproachful.

“Oh, that?”

Shangguan Xiyue casually wiped her face.

“I just washed my face a minute ago.”

Then her expression grew exaggerated as she eyed me up and down.

“Wait… You’re not thinking I’ve been standing here waiting for you all this time, are you?”

“Come on, I know you too well. When you’ve got nothing to do, you sleep until noon. All I have to do is show up at just the right time, and I’ll definitely catch you on your way out.”

Me: “……”

“See? Told you.”

Looking at her smug expression, I instantly felt like all my concern was for nothing.

“Forget I said anything.”

I started walking ahead.

But Shangguan suddenly grabbed my arm.

“Are you mad?”

“Xiaoyan, I feel like… you’ve become a lot more sensitive lately.”

“We’ve joked like this before, haven’t we? You never used to get upset. You’d just roast me for it and be done.”

I paused in my steps, a distant look overtaking my eyes.

It’s not like I wasn’t aware of the changes in myself.

It’s a natural part of pregnancy.

I’ve been trying really hard to keep it under control… but sometimes, emotions just slip out unintentionally.

“I’m fine.”

My voice was obviously distracted.

Shangguan Xiyue frowned.

“Xiaoyan, are you hiding something from me?”

She wasn’t stupid.

This wasn’t the first time she’d noticed something off.

“These past two weeks… something’s been really weird about you.”

“You don’t even like playing games anymore.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

She really wanted to keep her promise to let things go, but her worry for me overrode her restraint, and a few more words slipped out.

I forced a smile.

“I’m really fine. Come on, you know me—if there’s something I can’t fix, do you think I’d just bottle it up? That’d be dumb.”

Shangguan Xiyue didn’t press further, but the doubt in her heart only grew stronger.

Her gaze was almost as if trying to see straight through me—to the real emotions I was hiding deep inside.

A strand of loose hair clung to my nose.

After a soft sigh, Shangguan Xiyue reached out and gently brushed it away.

Between us, there was never a need to overthink these small gestures.

It was the same for her.

We were no longer just ordinary friends—

But not quite lovers either.

It was more like the deep concern that comes from being true soulmates.

That’s why she could casually talk and joke with me…

And also why she once tried to set me up with someone.

**

In the distance—

Su Liumeng had just finished sorting out her tangled emotions and was planning to look for Xiaoyan to hang out, when she saw that scene from afar.

Golden sunlight shimmered down in dappled patches, scattering across the stunning profile of a beautiful girl.

Two figures—one tall, one short—stood side by side.

There was an inexplicable sense of harmony between them.

The taller girl leaned in slightly, a soft smile on her face, and reached out to gently brush aside hair from the other’s cheek.

And the girl Su Liumeng had feelings for didn’t show the slightest resistance—she simply stood there, letting it happen, even smiling and chatting with the other girl.

Snap—

The breakfast box in Su Liumeng’s hand crumpled with a crackle, echoing the shattering sound in her heart—like breaking glass.

She had tried convincing herself—explaining that the two of them already knew each other, that they were just friends, and that it didn’t mean anything.

But when she closed her eyes, the image of them standing together replayed itself in her mind, so harmonious it was blinding.

A wave of envy surged up from the depths of her heart—unshakable and bitter.

Su Liumeng felt as if someone had gripped her throat, and she couldn’t even breathe properly.

She quietly retreated behind a large tree, hugged her knees tightly, and slowly crouched down.

A few minutes later, she called her best friend.

“Zhi Zhi… do you think there’s something wrong with me?”

“When I see her standing there with someone else—even if they’re just interacting casually—I…”

Su Liumeng was startled by her own dark thoughts.

On the other end of the line, her friend let out a soft chuckle.

“Why’d you stop talking?”

Su Liumeng was silent for a long time before she slowly said, “Just now… I suddenly wanted to… to lock her up somewhere, make her belong only to me, and never let her talk to anyone else again.”

“Zhi Zhi, tell me—do you think I’m messed up?”

“How could someone who loves another even think about hurting them?”

Yuefang Zhi laughed so hard she could barely catch her breath.

“You silly girl. That’s jealousy.”

“Totally normal.”

“Completely natural.”

“You’re so in love—if you didn’t have some extreme thoughts, it’d be more strange.”

“How we think and how we act—those are two different things. Most people have at least one dark thought at some point.”

Su Liumeng bit her lip and didn’t tell her best friend that just now… she hadn’t just been thinking it.

She had really been planning to do it—until reason forcibly dragged her back from the edge.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Still stuck in that spiral?”

Yuefang Zhi comforted her over the phone.

“As long as people are alive in this world, they’re going to socialize with others. Once you come to terms with that, things will feel a lot easier.”

“Let’s take a step back—even now, the two of you haven’t even confirmed your relationship.”

“You’re way too possessive. That’s not healthy, okay?”

“Mm… I won’t think that way anymore.”

Su Liumeng stared at a line of ants crawling across the ground, then suddenly stood up.

“You’re right. If it were me from half a month ago, I wouldn’t have thought this far.”

“Just like desire—it’s something that grows step by step. As I spent more time with her and everything went so smoothly, I guess my expectations just kept growing… which led to these unnecessary negative emotions.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“I’m going to find her.”

Su Liumeng muttered to herself as she ended the call, still grumbling quietly,

“Seriously! What was I thinking so much for? It’s not like she has feelings for Shangguan Xiyue. Getting jealous over that is just asking for trouble.”

Thanks to Yuefang Zhi’s comforting words, Su Liumeng had gradually regained her emotional balance.

Yuefang Zhi, on the other hand, stared at the call log that had just ended.

As Su Liumeng’s only close friend, she knew her too well.

Su Liumeng had led a near-perfect life—with hardly any flaws.

Except for one: she loved too deeply.

Yuefang Zhi understood that better than anyone.

When Su Liumeng loved, it was to the bone—etched into her very soul.

And just like everything else in this world, love too has its dual nature.

It’s like a vast, surging lake.

If its only outlet is blocked—if there’s no way to release that intense affection—it becomes a ticking time bomb.

And when the pressure finally bursts, the dam might collapse all at once, leading to unpredictable consequences.

*****

“Xiaoyan!”

A crisp and clear voice called out from behind me. I instinctively stopped walking.

Turning around, I saw Su Liumeng holding the hem of her skirt as she jogged toward me.

Her long, smooth black hair danced lightly in the breeze, then settled gently back into place.