Chapter 137: Wanting Her to Fall into Femininity 1

Outside the door stood a man, blue eyes, black hair, and a face streaked with tears, his gaze thick with sorrow, as if all hope had died in his heart.

Jiang Chi saw the little boy who opened the door, his twisted face forcing out a faint smile, but tears still slid down uncontrollably.

“Little one, is your teacher here? I’d like to have a psychological consultation.”

His voice was a bit hoarse, clearly tinged with sobs, his eyes filled with helplessness and confusion.

Yan Qing heard his words, looked at the tear-streaked man, and then invited him in, letting him sit comfortably on the sofa.

“Meow meow~ Teacher went out to buy groceries. Jiang-ge, if there’s anything, you can talk to me.”

“I’ve learned psychological therapy from teacher.”

As he spoke, he took a wet wipe and gently wiped the tears from Jiang Chi’s face.

Jiang Chi didn’t answer Yan Qing’s words, just lightly brushed his own chest with his fingers, his blue eyes brimming with grief.

Seeing Jiang Chi’s state, Yan Qing grew even more worried, recalling a patient his teacher had taken before, who had been just as miserable as Jiang-ge, and later, that patient had jumped off a building.

Jiang-ge gave him a chicken drumstick to eat—he wouldn’t jump off a building too, would he?

“Hug for Jiang-ge.” He stretched out his arms to embrace Jiang Chi, his little hands gently patting the man’s trembling back, softly comforting.

“Jiang-ge, don’t stay silent, if you want to cry then just let it out.”

“Teacher always says, if you cry about unhappy things, you’ll feel better.”

That small bundle seemed to radiate sunshine, bringing a sliver of warmth and light to a heart filled with endless darkness. The man looked up at Yan Qing, tears gathering in his eyes.

“She doesn’t exist, she doesn’t exist, she doesn’t exist…”

“My Qingchan, my Qingchan…”

“The girl I liked the most…”

He hugged Yan Qing tightly, tears and snot running down, sobbing as if trying to pour out all the sorrow in his heart.

No one knew how long it lasted; Yan Qing’s robe was a bit damp, and from afar, the blue and white striped patch on his shoulder looked as if it had been splashed with water.

Jiang Chi’s emotions slowly calmed. He let go of the little boy in his arms, his eyes red, his voice hoarse: “Sorry… I lost control.”

“It’s okay~”

Yan Qing handed Jiang Chi another tissue, then sat on the office chair and, looking extremely cute, did a little glasses-pushing gesture.

“Jiang-ge, tell me what happened. You’re crying so hard—let’s see if I can help you.”

Jiang Chi looked into Yan Qing’s pure, clear eyes, his own face turning even paler. He buried his face in his palms, was silent for a few seconds, and then spoke in a low voice:

“I fell in love with someone.”

“Is it Sister Ji?” Yan Qing suddenly remembered all the gossip he’d heard at school from the older boys and girls.

“Yes, it’s her.”

“I went mountain climbing with her, we conquered the towering peaks together, overlooking magnificent scenery from the summit; we went swimming, frolicked freely in the cool water, feeling embraced by it; we had candlelight dinners, in a warm and romantic atmosphere, gazing into each other’s eyes, hearts entwined.”

As Jiang Chi spoke, it was as if he was back in those half a month living with Ji Qingchan. He couldn’t help reaching out to touch his chest, where his heartbeat felt almost audible in his ears. His cheeks grew rosy, a smile lifted his lips, but that smile was painful to witness.

“But…”

When he got to this point, tears fell again. The man’s fingers dug into his palm so hard that the pain made his whole body tremble.

“Someone told me she doesn’t exist.”

“That she’s fake.”

“That Ji Qingchan never existed…”

“That the girl I liked never existed…”

Hot tears streamed down the man’s face, his expression wracked with pain, his voice hoarse: “I don’t believe it!”

“I want to prove she exists, I want to find her, I want to ask her myself why she’s hiding from me—Ji Qingchan is real, I want to see her with my own eyes! I want to see her! I believe in science, I’ll use scientific methods!”

His voice grew louder and louder, like a wounded beast, roaring out his anger and despair.

Suddenly he looked up, a wild light shining in his eyes, as if he wanted to tear the world apart.

But then, his eyes suddenly stung, more tears fell, his lips trembled, his voice rough: “Science has betrayed me, she really… doesn’t exist.”

“My Qingchan, the girl I like, the girl I love, she’s… fake.”

The man bowed his head, his back deeply bent, like an old, broken man, heavy shadows cloaking his face.

At that moment, it was as if all signs of life had left him.

“Then if Sister Ji is fake, who’s the person pretending to be her?” Yan Qing listened to Jiang-ge’s words—he didn’t quite understand, but vaguely sensed that Jiang-ge had been tricked by a bad woman.

“She…” Jiang Chi looked up, his eyes instantly reddening, pain shining in them.

“…is a man.”

Yan Qing: ???

Meow meow meow? A man? Jiang-ge got tricked by a bad man?

“I’m going to kill him!” Suddenly, Jiang Chi shot to his feet, his eyes blood-red.

“Jiang-ge, calm down, meow!” Yan Qing, seeing Jiang Chi like this, hurriedly grabbed his hand in fright.

“Teacher said murder is illegal, meow!”

“But he deceived me!” Jiang Chi gritted his teeth, saying each word forcefully. “He deceived my feelings!”

“But…but…” Yan Qing really wanted to stop Jiang Chi, but couldn’t find any reason. Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, he shouted, “Maybe that bad brother is also Sister Ji!”

“What?” Hearing that, Jiang Chi froze, then immediately lifted Yan Qing up, tears streaming again: “Little one, what did you say? Say it again! You mean my Qingchan is still alive.”

“Jiang-ge, have you heard of ‘Anima’ in psychology? It’s a core concept from Jung’s archetypes—the idea that every man has a female image in his heart, the feminine part of his soul.”

Being lifted up high, Yan Qing the little shota remembered some extracurricular reading he’d done. Following his teacher’s mantra that ‘saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-story pagoda’, he looked at Jiang Chi with a grave face.

“If you think of the persona as the side of someone that’s shown to others—the appearance the world sees—then, by contrast, the Anima in a man’s psyche and the Animus in a woman’s psyche are the internal images, the ‘inner appearance’.”

“As an archetype, the Anima is a collective female image in the male heart. The Anima is a man’s small amount of feminine traits or genes. It never appears or disappears, but always exists, exerting a feminizing effect.”

“So if you think about it, Sister Ji always existed—she wasn’t fake—she was just hidden inside that bad brother’s heart!”

“Then what do I have to do to see Qingchan, how do I see Qingchan?” Jiang Chi urgently shook the little shota, his voice trembling with both fear and hope.

Yan Qing, dizzy from the shaking, mumbled, “Unless… unless that bad brother turns into a woman, fully reveals the ‘Anima’ in his heart, then maybe…”

“Turns into a woman? Falls into femininity, right?!”

“I get it, I get it!” Jiang Chi dropped his hands, his eyes full of joy, then rushed out of the clinic, happiness radiating from his face.

Yan Qing, his head muddled from all the shaking, stumbled a few steps before landing squarely on his butt. Watching Jiang Chi’s hurriedly departing figure, he inexplicably recalled a saying his teacher often repeated.

“Perhaps it is because we do not know dreams, that the wandering chase after illusions.”