December 22nd.
Before I knew it, the next year on the Gregorian calendar was almost here.
I had just woken up from a very long dream, one in which I was rather dazed and confused, like a stone without any spark of consciousness.
Just like in the dream, I felt groggy even after waking up, to the point that I didn’t even react when Su Liumeng left.
I had almost had the nightmare I hated most. Rubbing my throbbing temples, I struggled to get out of bed and called out hoarsely, “Chunqiao.”
“Bring me a glass of water.”
Chunqiao appeared quickly, carrying a clean cup filled with water at the perfect temperature.
I gulped it down and finally felt much better, then took the chance to ask, “When did Su Liumeng leave? And what time is it now?”
“Miss, it’s almost ten o’clock now.”
“The young lady left at a quarter past six, and she specially told me not to disturb your rest. The small kitchen’s dishes have all been prepared — all your favorites. Should I bring them in now?”
My… favorite foods?
I gave a bitter smile.
My favorite foods — I can’t eat them anymore.
Even spicy food, which I used to love, I haven’t tasted in a long time.
When cooking, adding even a single chili is considered just a mild spice, which to someone used to spicy flavors like me is basically nothing. The taste feels bland to the extreme.
And sweet foods have to be limited too. Constantly consuming high-sugar foods would only make the baby grow heavier, increasing the risk of difficult labor when it’s time to give birth.
Among the few tempting flavors left, I find myself most interested in umami lately.
That’s the second flavor I’ve developed a relative liking for during pregnancy, right after having to give up spicy food out of boredom.
Clatter, clatter.
One plate after another was set down by the servants on the table in my bedroom. Soon enough, six dishes and a soup appeared, neatly arranged, along with a steaming bucket of fragrant rice.
I didn’t go to the living room. My dining spot remained in the bedroom, still wearing loose pajamas and too lazy to change or go outside anyway. It’s just my own courtyard here, and with no in-laws around to restrict me, I could be as comfortable as I wanted.
No in-laws around—what a relief.
I never thought I’d get married, much less live after marriage without in-laws, just closing the door to live my own life. It was as pleasant as it could be.
I was about to pick up my chopsticks when I heard a voice even more eager than mine.
There was an excited anticipation in it.
“Mommy, eat fish.”
“The dish in the middle, I want to eat it.”
When Sizhiyu spoke, it felt like drool was already about to spill.
I picked up my chopsticks and stared at the freshly steamed fish. “Okay, baby, mommy will eat with you.”
Sizhiyu giggled foolishly.
I usually get to eat fish only one to three times a week, and the type of fish matters too. Pond fish taste different from river fish, and river fish differ from seafood.
Overall, I prefer seafood more.
Freshwater fish are called freshwater fish, while seawater fish are seafood. There’s a noticeable difference between the two.
The fish on the table today was a freshwater river fish from nearby, one with many bones but tender, smooth flesh. Eating it was particularly satisfying.
As I reached for a second bowl of rice, Sizhiyu suddenly blurted out in a slightly sharp voice, almost making me drop the bowl, “Mommy, you can’t eat anymore! Do you know how heavy I am already? I’m almost seven jin now… Mommy, do you understand what that means? There’s still over a month before the due date, if I keep gaining weight like this, delivery will definitely be stuck and cause uncontrollable bleeding.”
“……”
I looked down at the small bowl in my hands.
There was clearly not that much inside my belly.
Pregnancy hormones always made me instinctively want to eat.
At that moment, hearing my daughter’s voice, my expression gradually fell into gloom.
Then, silence completely took over…
So.
How did things end up like this?
I’ve been controlling my appetite so much already, usually only eating two bowls of rice per meal.
Could it really be because I wasn’t careful and ate recklessly that caused this?
Probably not.
Maybe it’s because Sizhiyu absorbs nutrients well and is developing particularly healthily.
In any case, as a mother, my first reaction wasn’t to blame my daughter.
Thud—
I placed the bowl and chopsticks silently on the table.
“Just over six jin now, that’s not especially heavy.”
“For the next month or so, I’ll just eat one bowl of rice per meal.” I forced a weak smile, words sounding more like I was comforting myself.
Babies born weighing seven or eight jin are rare but not unheard of.
I remember when Su Liumeng was born, she weighed seven jin and six liang, and was also born naturally.
In principle, rice is the basic source of carbohydrates, and other foods provide additional nutrition.
So, by just eating what I’m supposed to, I shouldn’t lack essential nutrients.
But I’ve always been someone who really loves eating rice.
Even when eating hotpot, if there’s no rice on the table, no matter how satisfying the hotpot is, I’d feel like something was missing in my stomach. It just doesn’t feel right.
Sizhiyu seemed a bit down, hearing my gloomy words. She felt bad, then suddenly thought of a bold idea and spoke out directly, “Mommy, I’m thinking, maybe I should just be born early. Cultivation can increase later, it doesn’t have to wait until full term.”
She didn’t want to cause her mother an unexpected difficult delivery because of herself.
Bang—
A loud noise suddenly rang out in the room, startling Chunqiao who was guarding the door outside. The next second came a voice of anger from the young girl inside.
“No.”
“If you say that again, I really will get mad.”
“Si Zhuangyu, do you even consider me your mother anymore?”
The moment she heard her full name, the little one immediately shrank her neck. Usually, she was only called by her given name.
Outside the door, Chunqiao trembled.
Miss was usually calm and gentle. Chunqiao had never seen her like this before.
Terrified, she knelt down outside, “Miss, please don’t be angry. It wouldn’t be good for your health.”
I glanced outside the door, “It’s none of your concern. Stand up and clean the table.”
I stepped past Chunqiao, taking another maid with me as I left the courtyard.
Chunqiao looked around at the mess in the room.
A shattered vase lay on the floor, glaringly obvious.
The atmosphere between mother and daughter was tense all the way.
Sizhiyu regretted saying the wrong thing and kept apologizing in her mind.
For the first time, I found her voice a little noisy, and my mood was already bad, so I didn’t want to speak. Unintentionally, I wandered into the Su family’s small garden.
Even in winter, plum blossoms still bloomed fragrantly.
I sat on a chair and took a deep breath, calming myself.
No matter what mood I was in, I shouldn’t vent it on my baby.
“Mommy’s tone was wrong.”
Sizhiyu’s face was already swollen from crying.
She sat under the tree helplessly hugging a fallen leaf.
It was the little blanket Mommy would also cover her with.
Suddenly, she felt as if there was no place left for her in this vast world, a lonely, desolate feeling.
The little one sniffled, unsure what to say.
“Baby.”
“Promise Mommy you won’t cry anymore, okay?”
Sizhiyu finally spoke, her voice thick with emotion, “It’s all Baby’s fault for saying something wrong.”
I admitted I felt a moment of panic and anger.
When it came to my daughter, if any possibility threatened her, I panicked instantly.
I couldn’t think straight and was overwhelmed by instinctive anger.
Hearing her sobbing, I felt a little bad too. My eyes stung, and I bit my lip several times to keep from crying in front of her.
“If there’s anything, you can talk to Mommy, at least let me prepare myself. Suddenly hearing something like that really upset me, so I lost my temper.”
Sizhiyu looked at Mommy’s sad expression and obediently wiped her eyes. Her tiny arms moved a few times like lotus stems, and after making sure her voice was steady, she raised her still tear-streaked face and said very maturely,
“No, Baby’s not crying anymore. Baby’s already a big kid.”
Hearing that, despite the sadness, I forced out an awkward smile, “You haven’t even been born yet, how can you already be a big kid? Besides, when you’re unhappy, you should cry. Letting it out feels better. Mommy cries too sometimes. It’s not shameful. And to Mommy, you’ll always be a baby. You don’t have to be a strong adult all the time.”
Sizhiyu wasn’t as upset now.
The reason she cried wasn’t because I was angry at her, but because she accidentally said something Mommy disliked.
Why is being human so hard?
The little dumpling squatted slowly, hugging her knees, eyes staring blankly at the ground.
My gaze lowered to my noticeably large belly.
Shouldn’t… it be okay for a natural delivery?
I was already a cultivator and had trained for some time. My body was definitely a bit stronger than an ordinary person’s.
With such a big belly, I was used to the daily inconveniences.
I had grown accustomed to supporting my waist with one hand to maintain subtle balance while walking.
Sizhiyu was just over six jin.
Many newborns weigh just a bit over six jin.
Her size was indeed a little big.
I also heard that taller women have easier natural deliveries.
In one group I joined, a mother who was 1.75 meters tall gave birth to a 7 jin 8 liang baby naturally with a very smooth delivery, barely any struggle. She could even walk normally two days later and took a taxi home alone holding the baby.
I’m only 1.58 meters—not very tall, but not short either.
If it were decades ago, that would be a very normal height. But now in 2043, with improved nutrition, my height felt a bit lacking.
Taller people have larger organs, making natural delivery easier in some ways.
The first step of natural delivery sounds frightening though—the cervix has to dilate to ten fingers wide.
Literally, ten fingers wide. Just thinking about it causes pre-birth anxiety.
My thoughts became muddled; I wasn’t sure where they were going.
Maybe…
A cesarean section would be better?
But that would affect future cultivation.
The thought of surgery made me shudder.
Cutting through layer after layer of my belly—just thinking about the blade made my skin crawl.
Any surgery would cause serious energy loss.
So what should I do?
This was the second time I seriously thought about this.
Better to try natural delivery first. Hospitals nowadays have emergency plans; if natural delivery isn’t possible, they switch to cesarean.
Having made up my mind, I felt much lighter, as if I had a safety net.
No matter what, I could deliver Sizhiyu safely. What was there to fear?
While I was thinking, Sizhiyu obediently waited inside my belly and didn’t interrupt my thoughts.
Sensing my sudden happiness, the little dumpling smiled sweetly like a tiny angel, warm and comforting.
“Baby’s not scared. There’s always a way to solve things.”
“Mm.” Sizhiyu forced herself to perk up, “Baby knows Mommy is the best.”
How did I end up being praised by my baby…?
I slowly stood up, comforted the little dumpling once more, then was about to leave the small garden when I suddenly bumped into the one person I least wanted to see.
Su Luo, dressed in a pale pink palace gown, held a delicate round fan, her style as flamboyant as ever.
Before she even reached my side, I caught a faint, not unpleasant fragrance.
“Miss.” Chunlan, noticing my expression, stepped forward to block me.
Su Luo and Su Liumeng have never gotten along. Stories of them nearly fighting were known even among their contemporaries.
I stopped walking, not planning to leave.
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