Now, I can hardly remember how old I really am, thanks to that breakthrough into an unknown realm long ago that granted me eternal youth.
I only recall searching for three hundred seventy-four years—but that’s just a memory, not reality.
Because I’ve forgotten so much. That is the price of transmigration, and most of those lost memories contained the bulk of my cultivation.
Otherwise, how could I be so powerless in this world?
Perhaps my methods now reach the heavens, yet I remain dissatisfied with this divine ability I possess.
But enough about the present; let’s talk about the past.
Power has never been the most essential thing. I only ever felt like I was being controlled by my own power.
If you’re not the strongest, if you can’t achieve what you want, then what’s the point of having power?
I have never been one to reveal my true feelings, though I tried when Aoki was still around.
But it was like watching sand slip through my fingers; when I snapped back to reality, all I saw was sand blown away by the wind.
I never understood why I was treated this way. I felt helpless, like I was trapped by fate, forced to play the villain.
I thought my childhood friend was an ordinary death soldier, oppressed and in need of rescue—someone I could save.
Suffering from a chronic illness, unable to cultivate, that pain became my own.
I once desperately wanted to defeat Aoki, who constantly overshadowed me, because that would prove I was capable—capable enough to make Aoki drop her guard, obediently waiting to be rescued like I once did.
That time, I finally won. The scenes of being defeated by Aoki became history. It was like a new chapter in life had opened.
I should have cheered, felt joy in beating Aoki, ignoring her feelings as I ran and jumped, taunting her with harsh words.
But those words were never meant to hurt her; I just wanted Aoki to see how formidable Lin Qiyou was—that my bold claims weren’t empty boasts.
Aoki’s figure shrank, growing small and fragile like I once was.
I grew stronger, constantly absorbing nourishment, eating and eating.
Seeing the unintended sorrow Aoki revealed, my desire to devour power only grew stronger.
Yet, when I looked back again, I realized that the one I had devoured was Aoki herself—the very person I wanted to rescue.
Honestly, I still can’t describe how helpless I felt then.
Cheering “I am the righteous path” was truly ridiculous.
Rejoicing after knocking down Aoki was nothing but absurdity.
Suddenly, the spiritual veins surging through me felt sinful, as if whispering two words incessantly in my ear:
Save me—
Every night, those desperate cries stabbed deep into my heart.
Why?
Why would she rather write it down on paper than speak it aloud to me?
Say “I’m scared,” say “It hurts so much.”
If you could just say those words, no matter what, I would find a way to save you.
Can’t you see my eyes for you? Can’t you smell the bond between us?
If you just looked closely…
So, is it that you don’t want to?
What are you worrying about?
What are you hesitating over?
Am I really that unreliable?
I can’t take it. I truly can’t bear it.
Why must I… be the villain?
Why did I become the villain?
To this day, I still don’t understand where I went wrong.
Growing up with you, a death soldier, I only had the willfulness of a young girl—never the entitlement of a noble lady.
My resentment towards you arose because you ignored my feelings.
I only learned about devouring your spiritual veins at the very end. That ignorance and greed came from seeing your pain and enslavement.
I have always been pulled along by others, pushed forward by fate.
Did I never try?
Did I never beg you to speak?
I simply don’t understand. I really don’t understand…
Which step did I take wrong?
To end up seizing the spiritual veins of the one I admired, failing to protect their body, being disowned by my family, and my father wanting me dead to seize those veins?
A dead end, my father, blood, a sword, spiritual veins taken once again.
Is this the price of power?
Having power is like pieces of scales on my body being peeled away, layer by layer.
Is this transformation? The chrysalis becoming a butterfly?
Or have I turned into a monster, bloodied and torn?
If I forget many things again, so many things,
Then even I am no longer whole.
But there is one thing I still remember…
Aoki needs me to save her…
Scenes from the past flash before my eyes, a tide of immense sorrow flooding Lin Qiyou.
It feels like I’m falling once more into that bone-chilling ice pit, struggling upwards, swimming, but never reaching the surface.
The tendrils of fate wrap around my neck, dragging me into an abyss with no bottom.
My crossed eyelashes flutter; my cold, indifferent eyes suddenly open. A breeze brushes past, and I reach out with jade-like fingers to tuck back my hair.
The midday sun is hidden by clouds, bringing a touch of coolness. White doves fly across the church square toward the distant mountains.
These strange buildings never grow familiar, so different from the world I once knew.
The Rose Kingdom, just as Aoki described, is adorned with roses of every color, but the more dazzling they are, the more secrets and complexities lie within.
Even without divine powers like the “Wind-Ears,” I can sense the priests below are fake—the undercurrents stirring. At this moment, Lin Qiyou stands alone on a solitary boat.
Will this be the tide that conquers fate, or will the destined waves overturn her? We’ll see soon enough.
“Dreaming again.”
Lin Qiyou pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.
She was currently hiding beside the Rose Church’s tall tower, her ears picking up the dense footsteps and murmurs at the church entrance.
With only minutes until the rumored church negotiations, she felt the time was right to act.
Grasping her sword, she flipped to the back of the church and slipped inside through the large gap in the clock.
Passing through the precise gears, she arrived inside the tower.
A patrolling priest stood with his back turned. She leapt forward and sliced at the back of his neck with a hand strike. The priest collapsed instantly.
A white shadow flickered across the top floor. Lin Qiyou leaned against the wall, quietly sensing how many people were nearby.
She had already “inquired” through Noli’s contacts—soon, a battle would erupt inside the church.
When that chaos came, she would take advantage of the distraction to bring the Saintess Yue Lan away and force her to reveal Aoki’s whereabouts.
This was a mantis stalking a cicada, unaware of the oriole behind scenario.
Still, that Noli… felt so familiar. What exactly did she want?
Lin Qiyou thought that she might meet Noli someday, but what kind of relationship or status that would be, no one could say.
“Aoki, I will save you… I promised you, and I swore, even if you are in this world, I will traverse time and space to rescue you from fire and water, with my power.”
After saying this, Lin Qiyou took a deep breath and descended the stairs.