Chapter 19: If You Become President, Invade Japan

The pink whirlwind continues.

Kang Jiwoo’s meme-like popularity was growing day by day.

Title: Brought a Presidential Meme.

(A meme showing Kang Jiwoo beating candidates Cho Seoyoung and Yoo Hangseol.)

(A meme of Trump kneeling before Kang Jiwoo.)

This is it, haha.

Even in memes, how is she this cute;

Gratitude Tree Korea Party~

But are people seriously supporting an elementary kid? 

Didn’t she say she became a kid?

Either way, whether it’s the New Wind Party or the National Republican Party, their competence is trash.

Right, haha.

True words.

Title: Kang Jiwoo’s State Farm Scandal

(A picture of Kang Jiwoo’s street campaign.)

It’s too short to be a state farm scandal, haha.

Oh my gosh, haha.

This guy’s crazy, haha.

“One vote for the same.”

It was becoming increasingly clear why older generations criticized young men in their 20s and 30s.

Of course, it wasn’t being consumed purely in a positive light.

In communities supporting the established two parties, many posts ridiculed Kang Jiwoo’s meme expansion.

Title: Thanks to the LOL bros, this country is doomed.

Kang Ji-woo’s approval rating is 15%.

Her intelligence is reportedly at a preschool level, but what on earth are people in their 20s and 30s supporting her for?

I’m happy they’re not voting for candidate 1 and diverting elsewhere, but… thinking about the country’s future makes me sigh.

They don’t think at all. They’re just supporting her because it’s funny, sigh.

But she is kinda cute, haha.

We shouldn’t elect presidents based on cuteness; it’s against the spirit of democracy.

Even Jo Se-young uploaded a “cutie forty shorts” photo.

Kang Ji-woo being cute was a fact.

The recognition of her gaining quite a bit of popularity was also undeniable.

However, doubts were growing about whether she could actually fulfill the duties of the presidency.

Title: It’ll all come crashing down in debates anyway.

No matter how cute she is, what can cuteness do in debates? Haha.

The second TV debate is in a week, and Kang Ji-woo will also appear, so it’ll be worth watching ^^.

If a kid cries on stage, it’ll be pitiful but funny, haha.

I’m also waiting for that day~.

Will Jo Se-young pay her back double for last time’s debate? Haha.

Our candidate is a former prosecutor known for sharp words; no way an elementary kid can match him, haha.

Our party’s reaction to this public sentiment?

“Actually, this is great!”

“It’s good! The fact that we’re still attracting attention is a positive thing. Plus, opposing supporters are spreading the idea that ‘Kang Jiwoo can’t handle debates.’ They’re essentially helping us by saying exactly what we want to emphasize!”

The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment.

Conversely?

If expectations were rock-bottom, people might be surprised.

Han Seoyoung aimed precisely for that.

Her strategy was to lower expectations for my debate skills to the lowest possible point, then deliver a twist.

“Anyway, shall we continue studying?”

“Yesss…”

The point was that my debate skills had to improve, even a little.

That’s why I was diligently studying vocabulary with Han Seo-young.

“What was ‘policy promise’ again?”

“Uh… promises candidates make to the people…!”

My vocabulary level had regressed to that of an elementary schooler.

Even if I understood something, my body didn’t.

My body had to fully comprehend it to be able to articulate it.

“Great job! Now, can you explain ‘economy’ next?”

“Economy is when companies make Tanniping toys, and people buy Tanniping toys…!”

To teach me, Han Seoyoung took extreme measures.

She explained everything in terms of Tanniping!

It boosted my concentration by about fivefold.

The problem was transitioning from Tanniping explanations to regular terminology.

“You need to leave out ‘Tanniping’ when speaking.”

“Leave out Tanniping…?”

“Read the parts with Tanniping analogies to understand the meaning, then say what’s written here…”

Well, these were minor inconveniences.

Just the fact that my light little butt was glued to the chair was already an achievement.

Knock, knock.

Just then, someone entered the office.

“Coming in.”

“DirectorPing…!”

It was Bong Su-hee.

As usual, she walked in with her turtle-like gait and grabbed my cheeks, pulling and stretching them.

“Ouuuh…”

“Oh, come on. Stop pinching my cheeks! My skin’s already delicate!”

“I’m not pinching, just touching.”

“Anyway, just don’t do it!”

At Han Seoyoung’s warning, Bong Soohee took a step back.

“By the way, why are you here? You must be busy.”

“It’s my break time.”

“We’re still in the middle of things, though.”

“Actually, I came to talk to you.”

“To me…?”

“Yeah.”

Han Seoyoung looked surprised, almost a bit nervous.

“Then let’s take a quick break too. What is it you want to say?”

“We need to talk outside.”

“……”

Han Seoyoung glanced at me, as if seeking permission.

Feeling like I might be treated as a child, I focused on my vocabulary book.

Or rather, I pretended to focus.

None of the words were sinking in, but I felt proud, imagining myself looking mature.

To hide my pride, I deliberately muttered under my breath.

“Candidate, I’ll step out for a moment.”

“Sure. I’ll practice on my own.”

“Hehe, as expected of our candidate. But since it’s break time, don’t overdo it. Why don’t you watch some Tanniping instead?”

“Tanniping…!”

Han Seoyoung handed me her smartphone and left.

My eyes locked onto the small screen, the surroundings blurring into oblivion.

“Chu! I can do this on my own, Chu!”

“HeoChuPing, are you really sure you don’t need my help, DolDol?”

“Thank you for your concern, DolDolPing, but I’ve studied hard too, Chu! Leave the riddle of the evil mummy to me, Chu!”

Season 4, Episode 21 of The Love of HeoChuPing.

It was about Princess Rami exploring mysterious ruins with HeoChuPing and DolDolPing.

“HeoChuPing! Since she’s a RoyalPing, she’s super smart!”

For reference, “RoyalPing” refers to the main Tannipings.

They’re the most outstanding ones, marked with golden crowns on their bellies.

Not only do they have standard magic, but they can also transform the protagonist into various forms of princesses.

Unlike regular Tannipings who appear briefly, RoyalPings are main characters, popular, and even have their own toy series.

Besides HeoChuPing, my favorite RoyalPing has to be the classic from Season 1, OutsiderPing…

Wait, no, that’s not the point.

HeoChuPing saying she studied hard somehow stuck in my mind.

“JiwooPing is studying hard too, Chu…”

My gaze naturally returned to my vocabulary book.

For a moment, I felt a sudden urge to keep studying.

“I want to… become a RoyalPing too, Chu…”

Ah, this kid.

Does she want to be a “Royal JiwooPing”?

How admirable…

Yet the Tanniping episode continued playing.

HeoChuPing’s tempting voice kept holding me back.

What a dilemma!

Should I relax and keep watching Tanniping?

Or should I continue studying and confidently become a “Royal JiwooPing”?

“Life is so complicated, Chu…”

I clutched my head, deep in thought.

Meanwhile, in the break room, Han Seoyoung grabbed a coffee stick.

“Want some coffee?”

“I’ll take HeoChuPing milk.”

“Seriously, a grown adult drinking HeoChuPing milk? That’ll send your blood sugar skyrocketing.”

“I’m muscular, so I’ll be fine.”

“Muscular? You look more like you’ve got skinny fat.”

Han Seoyoung, now holding her drink, leaned against the window.

Bong Soohee checked a video Han Seoyoung had recorded.

It was a live practice session of Kang Jiwoo’s debate, meant to be uploaded on YouTube.

“You can’t film it like this.”

Crack.

A vein popped on Han Seoyoung’s forehead.

She barely held back her temper.

“…If you don’t like it, why don’t you take care of everything yourself, from start to finish?”

“I’m busy drafting Kang Jiwoo’s debate strategies.”

“Then I guess we have no choice but to use my video.”

Without a word, Bong Soohee focused on the video.

She seemed so engrossed, despite claiming it wasn’t good enough.

A surprising critique came soon after.

“You’re treating Kang Jiwoo too much like a child. Are you trying to erase her original personality completely?”

“What?”

Her shoulders twitched in surprise.

Erasing someone’s personality? That was a chilling thought.

“I didn’t mean to do that…”

“The doctor said so, didn’t they? The more you treat her like a child, the more her original personality will fade.”

Han Seoyoung recalled what the doctor had said.

Treating Kang Jiwoo like a child would make her act more like one.

While it’s important not to be too strict, it’s equally critical to remind her of her original personality from time to time.

“That’s true, but this method seems most effective for debate preparation.”

“Have you seen Being John Malkovich?”

“Being John Malkovich?”

“‘Being John Malkovich’ is a movie.”

“No…?”

Bong Soohee, who had just downed a shot of Heochuping Milk, continued.

“The main character, a puppeteer, enters the body of a famous actor named John Malkovich and controls him. It’s a masterpiece. You should definitely watch it when you have time.”

“What are you trying to say…?”

“John Malkovich, who loses control of his body, still retains his consciousness. So, he’s incredibly terrified by the fact that someone else is controlling him.”

Losing control of one’s body.

It was something similar to Kang Jiwoo’s current situation.

“And so?”

“Maybe Kang Jiwoo feels the same way right now.”

“……”

Han Seoyoung thought deeply.

She had vaguely thought that all she needed to do was take good care of the younger Kang Jiwoo…

But then, what happened to the Kang Jiwoo she knew?

As her young body replaced her, her original self was disappearing from this world.

If, as Bong Suhee suggested, her consciousness remained intact inside her, the feelings she must be experiencing would be indescribably stifling.

“Of course, I prefer the current Kang Jiwoo because she’s so much cuter, but if the original Kang Jiwoo is trapped inside, it’s a bit pitiful.”

“Not just pitiful… Maybe we’re doing something unforgivable to her…”

“That’s why you need to take on the strict role. Don’t treat Kang Jiwoo too much like a child.”

Han Seoyoung felt slightly indignant and argued back.

“Director Bong, you’re the one who’s over the top! You play with her all the time, pinch her cheeks, and rub your face against hers…”

Bong Soohee stared intently at Han Seoyoung.

Somehow, her expression was a bit different from usual.

The usual unreadable poker face was gone, replaced by a look of fear hanging in her eyes.

“…I don’t know how to be strict with people. Since I can’t do it, I’m asking you.”

“A-a request?”

“Yeah, a request.”

In ten years of knowing each other, it was the first time.

The first time Bong Soohee had shown her emotions.

The first time she had made a request.

It felt strange.

“Hmph! A request, really! You just want to dump the bad role on me, don’t you? But it’d be ridiculous for you to act strict, so I guess I’ll have to do it. Hmph!”

“Thank you much korea party.”

“Stop saying that! It’s so childish, I can’t stand it.”

“Alright. Understood korea party.”

The two bickered as they returned to the office.

The office door was slightly ajar, and through the crack, they could see Kang Jiwoo.

“Oh my, the candidate is studying…!”

“Wow.”

Kang Jiwoo was earnestly flipping through a vocabulary book, chirping away diligently.

Her eyes were so focused they seemed to sparkle.

The funny part?

“Isn’t she holding the book upside down?”

“Oh, she really is… What exactly is she reading…?”

Yes, the vocabulary book was upside down!

“She’s just too cute.”

As Han Seoyoung chuckled and tried to enter, Bong Suhee stopped her.

“This is exactly the kind of moment you should film.”

“This? Really?”

“Yeah, it’s adorable.”

That day, a video was uploaded to Kang Jiwoo’s channel.

It was a clip of Kang Jiwoo preparing for a debate while holding an upside-down vocabulary book.

[VLOG: Presidential Candidate Debate Prep – Episode 1]

Through the crack in the door, Kang Jiwoo came into view.

The camera zoomed in on her, and captions appeared at the bottom.

Economy! Making money, spending it, saving it! Check! Plans to make the country happier!!

[Even during her break time, the candidate is studying diligently, haha.]

Kang Jiwoo, holding a stack of documents, chirped away enthusiastically.

On the table, a smartphone played Heochuping.

Kang Jiwoo alternated between reading the vocabulary book and glancing at Heochuping for five seconds.

Voting! Citizens picking the President ping…!

And then back to the vocabulary book.

[We wondered what she was watching,]

[Turns out she’s studying while watching Heochuping~]

The camera zoomed in on Kang Jiwoo again.

Her serious, sparrow-like cuteness was captured in full, and then the focus shifted to the stack of documents.

The text on the back of the documents was also upside down.

[Even the policy book is upside down, lol.]

[Turns out she was testing herself by holding everything upside down~]

[Isn’t that so impressive?]

Views: 1,057,556.

The video surpassed a million views in no time.

Naturally, the comment section exploded with reactions.

“Guys, the presidential candidate is studying…”

So cute, really. Sniff

Like a sparrow. LOL

Tweet-tweet! Tweet-tweet!

If you’re a Korean citizen, please vote for Number 5!!!

The positive response from supporters was expected.

However, there was also an unexpected turn of events:

日本人在5、5番!

(If you’re Japanese, vote for Number 5!)

韓文化利wwww

(Korean culture wins lololol)

大統領になったら日本を侵攻してください。

(If you become president, please invade Japan.)

It seems mysterious Japanese people started appearing.