Chapter 125: Dissolve: His Last Choice

Yoon Jooho took out a pack of cigarettes and offered it, but Song Hyunsoo shook his head. Above Yoon Jooho’s head, the short winter sun burned red at the edge of the sky.

“I like it when you coach me on acting.”

“……”

“I also like that you practice with me specially, just me.”

Kicking the building’s wall lightly with the toe of his sneakers, Song Hyunsoo glanced sideways at Yoon Jooho standing next to him every now and then.

“I felt good when you said we should sign a contract. After all, it means you acknowledged my potential.”

“……”

“As long as it’s not just because of my body.”

“Have we slept together enough for you to say it’s not just because of your body?”

“That’s true, but—”

“Besides, I already said it’s not because of that.”

“I know. So please, keep me believing that.”

Yoon Jooho turned toward him. Whether the hat was too big or his head too small, his eyes were hidden deep under the brim. Still, if it were me, I’m sure I’d recognize him as Yoon Jooho from several meters away.

Searching for the eyes buried deeply beneath the brim, Hyunsoo met his gaze.

“I hate feeling like I owe you something. I don’t want to be tied to you like that.”

“You probably don’t know, but that kind of relationship is the most certain.”

He inhaled through the filter and let out smoke like a sigh, adding quietly.

“The messiest and, at the same time, the most unbreakable.”

Debt, obligation, intertwined interests. When such ties exist, at least one of the two won’t let go. As if from experience of being caught in such messy and tenacious relationships, Yoon Jooho’s tone was flat yet bitter.

“Make me a top star. Then I’ll use the money I earn to move into that house.”

“Until then, you’ll endure in your drafty rooftop room—or worse?”

“Do you think I like living in a small, cold place?”

“……”

“Does it hurt me that much?”

“…It’s an investment to make you a top star.”

As Song Hyunsoo pressed his face closer, almost invading his personal space, Yoon Jooho turned away again, refusing to show sincerity.

“Then I can’t move in either. No, even if we dated, I wouldn’t want that.”

Hyunsoo’s voice trembled slightly.

The more he spoke, the more sadness grew rather than anger. Instead of grabbing the collar of the man in front of him, he just wanted to hold him. They hadn’t even exchanged particularly sad words, so why? It felt like his broken heart was creaking painfully as it struggled to beat. Unconsciously, Song Hyunsoo clenched his fists so hard it hurt.

Yoon Jooho looked down and brushed off the ashes. Biting his lower lip and sighing several times, he shrugged his shoulders as if defeated and said,

“Alright. Then come home with me.”

“What home?”

“My mansion.”

What else could it be but that house? With an obvious tone, Yoon Jooho raised his eyebrows and continued.

“Whether it’s deposit or rent, stay there until you save up. That place… that’s really not it.”

He shook his head firmly, with a tone and expression that made clear he wouldn’t compromise on that.

“Lots of people live like that. I did too, until now.”

He brought the filter to his lips again and muttered quickly.

“I don’t care how others live. They’re not you.”

“……”

Does he know what he’s saying?

Even if he does, he probably won’t take responsibility for those words. As always, he’ll deny it. But just that was enough to fill Song Hyunsoo’s hungry heart with happiness. He decided not to rush him.

Grabbing Yoon Jooho’s wrist, he pulled him through the two cars parked in front. Holding both of his cheeks as he was bewildered, he leaned in and pressed their lips together. Because of the low hat, he had to tilt his head sharply for a long time.

With the cigarette still in his hand raised awkwardly, Yoon Jooho bent forward and accepted the kiss quietly.

When their lips, pressed firmly, rubbed softly and then parted, a suspicious expression, like “what trick is this now?”, glared at Song Hyunsoo.

Strengthening his grip on the cheeks that held his face, Song Hyunsoo smiled slyly.

“Alright then.”

“For what?”

“I’ll be indebted to you at your place.”

“……”

“But I’ll pay rent.”

“How much?”

“Fifty. That’s my budget.”

“Oh… so you want to freeload. That money won’t even cover heating.”

Pretending to complain, Yoon Jooho’s face finally looked a little relieved.

Maybe he was a bit proud that the fact he lived in a cold, cramped place could make Yoon Jooho uncomfortable.

This awkward expression of affection from Yoon Jooho who couldn’t say he liked or wanted to date him was proof that he was important to him.

What Yoon Jooho likes right now is me. Only me. Foolishly.

■

While Song Hyunsoo prepared Kimchi Pot Rice, Yoon Jooho grilled the rib meat from the fridge. In less than thirty minutes, a simple yet hearty and satisfying meal was ready.

“Oh… this is a feast.”

Setting the pot on the round table in the kitchen, Song Hyunsoo began dividing the rice into two bowls.

“What do you usually eat to call this a feast?”

“It’s not just me. Most people who live alone are like this. Not everyone can comfortably order from their favorite restaurant.”

The greasy smell of grilled meat and kimchi stimulated their appetites fiercely. Since all he’d eaten all day was a sandwich and a little snack at the West Sea Bar, Song Hyunsoo felt like he could even chew the bowl.

But unlike Hyunsoo, who alternated between meat and rice, Yoon Jooho’s spoonfuls were reluctant.

“Aren’t you hungry? Why are you nibbling like that?”

Without answering, Yoon Jooho said something random.

“Get rid of all the furniture in that house.”

“All of it?”

“What else can I do? Throw away what’s in the guest room and bring your stuff in?”

“That wouldn’t be right.”

After their kiss in the parking lot, Yoon Jooho suggested going to his place. He said he’d show Hyunsoo the room he’d be staying in from now on. Then, he’d wait there while Hyunsoo packed up his things.

Just after a brief quarrel and quick reconciliation, as if teasing each other, Hyunsoo thought maybe Yoon Jooho was worried about what Seo Hae would say.

But surprisingly, Seo Hae didn’t say much. He just gave his phone number and said to come visit anytime.

They called a driver and went straight to Yoon Jooho’s house.

The room Yoon Jooho showed him was the second-floor guest room. It had two super single beds, a wardrobe, a dresser, and a desk. Whether in comfort, view, or size, it was unquestionably better than the rooftop room.

“That’s good enough. Just bring your personal stuff.”

Putting down his chopsticks and picking up a glass of water, Yoon Jooho immediately corrected himself.

“No, if you get someone to help, it’s fine. But for the furniture, just throw it away and bring the rest. From today, just live here.”

“Fine. I can go get them.”

“I’ll tell you to bring everything except a single pair of socks. Just stay here.”

There was a sharpness in Yoon Jooho’s tone somewhere. He wasn’t angry, but seemed anxious that Hyunsoo might change his mind.

“I know you don’t want to be apart from me even for a second. But I don’t like other people touching my things. You know, there are some… well… personal things.”

Thinking of the Secret Box filled with sex toys and condoms, Song Hyunsoo stirred his rice bowl with chopsticks out of habit.

“Definitely nothing good comes from someone finding out about that masturbation box.”

“W-well… whether you’re delicate or not, pick one.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Then instead of hiring people, you come along to help. Deal?”

“……”

Only then did Yoon Jooho nod in understanding and fell silent.

“But, are you really going to throw all that furniture away?”

“Too bad? You’ve used it enough.”

“Of course it’s old, but I got attached to it since the old dorm. If I move out, I’ll have to buy everything new.”

“Thinking about moving out before even moving in?”

Yoon Jooho’s tone showed clear disappointment, which surprised Hyunsoo a little. Then he couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you already sad because you’re thinking I might move out?”

Yoon Jooho gripped his chopsticks and muttered, avoiding his eyes.

“If you know, just throw it all away.”

“……”

His words hit Hyunsoo like a hard blow to the solar plexus. He’d expected a scolding for nonsense.

“Then I’ll just bring the audio. That’s what Hongseo used.”

“Alright.”

The Bluetooth speaker that also played CDs, not a turntable— who even looks for an audio these days?— was something Choi Hongseo had brought to listen to his collection of CDs.

When moving into the luxurious villa in UN Village that his chaebol boyfriend had prepared, Yoon Jooho left it for Song Hyunsoo.