“Weren’t you saying you’d never have pets again? What made you change your mind?”
Leaning on the dining table, Yoon Jooho held a fork and lightly poked at the strawberry on top of the cake.
Strawberries. Every time they came for script practice, Song Hyunsoo would bring out good strawberries, and each time, he marveled at their taste and size.
He’d always insist that Jooho try them too, almost forcing him.
Turning the strawberry slowly on the fork at eye level as if appraising a gem, Jooho spoke with a voice cracked from fatigue.
“They say if you try to stop affection from growing, it just becomes denial.”
“Oh, that’s true. Who said that?”
“…Some grandmother.”
“A grandmother?”
Ignoring Seo Hae’s puzzled look, Jooho popped the strawberry into his mouth. The sour-sweet juice made him wrinkle his nose.
‘It’s like honey.’
Song Hyunsoo had been interested in the cat family living temporarily in the empty lot from the start.
On days without script readings, he would deliberately go see the cats there and even showed pictures to Jooho. “This one’s this cat, that one’s that cat,” he’d explain with names.
Jooho didn’t like that.
He knew that while Hyunsoo would be happy when a cat got adopted, he’d also feel a bit sad.
And if a cat didn’t get adopted, Hyunsoo would worry about it. He understood the whole ordeal too well.
“Don’t get attached halfway,” Jooho said coldly. “If you’re not going to be responsible, half-hearted kindness is just meddling.”
But Song Hyunsoo flatly denied that.
‘“You said you shouldn’t stop affection from growing. If you forcefully stop it, it becomes denial.”
“Who said that?”
“My grandmother.”’
Looking back, Jooho realized Hyunsoo had been laying the groundwork all along—to persuade him to bring a cat home.
He chuckled at the thought that he had swallowed that bait himself.
“But how come you’re like this physically? You weren’t like this before going to Paris.”
Seo Hae looked over Jooho’s body with concern.
Jooho took a bite of cake from the corner of the plate and glanced down at his upper body. Wearing an oversized black short-sleeved T-shirt, his frame seemed puffier than before.
“Too much?”
“Not exactly too much… but yeah, it’s grown a bit. He wants me to keep going hard today too. Is this role supposed to require that much bulk?”
“I thought you barely did weight training there.”
Jooho touched his shoulders and chest, checking the thickness and volume of his muscles.
“Then you must have had quite a fun time in Paris, huh?”
Seo Hae gave him a sly smile, clearly thinking Jooho had been ‘active’ on the bed.
“I stayed holed up in the hotel except when working. The only time I went out was jogging by the Han River at night.”
“Let me ask again, Jooho. You really just stayed cooped up in the hotel?”
“That’s right.”
“Wow… Could it be that Jooho kept his vows all the way to Paris? Because of Hyunsoo?”
Jooho frowned immediately at the teasing.
“Cut the nonsense.”
“So you had so much energy from being chaste that you just worked out all the time? Is that it? Yeah, that’s gotta be it.”
“Have you ever seen me date a guy?”
“Maybe you changed your mind.”
Jooho dropped the fork onto the plate with a clink and leaned back in his chair.
“Sang-ho hyung too. Why do all of you have these illusions?”
Then reaching for his coffee cup, he added, “But you were the one calling me trash as a man.”
Seo Hae, watching Jooho drink coffee with a detached air, cautiously ventured.
“Or maybe you…”
“What?”
“No, never mind.”
“Don’t hesitate like you’re not yourself—just say it.”
“Are you still hung up on Ji-in?”
“……”
Jooho’s brows furrowed slightly as he sipped his coffee. Hearing that name unexpectedly caught him off guard.
Seo Hae was one of the very few who knew about Jooho’s relationship with Jung Jin. Neither of them had ever told Seo Hae. He was just sharp enough to figure it out on his own at some point.
“That Bali breakup was already a year and a half ago. Do you think I’m some hopeless romantic?”
“Definitely not.”
“Then why do you keep thinking that…”
“But I had never seen you struggle like this because of someone before.”
“……”
Jooho glared silently at Seo Hae, then sighed deeply and looked away. Fidgeting with the coffee cup handle, he bit his lower lip and nodded in admission.
“Yeah. I tried to hold on, I struggled. I even asked to date because I didn’t want it to end. I’m not denying that.”
“……”
“But that doesn’t mean I’ve been dragging that thing along all this time.”
An unchanging person. Someone who, whenever you come back, is always there in the same place, looking the same.
Jung Jin was that kind of person for Jooho, and that was a precious value.
Jooho felt comfortable with Jung Jin maintaining that proper distance and wished he’d always stay that way.
Yeah. He just wanted him to always stay like that.
During the years they were just sex partners, he never wanted anything else from him. He never wished to become lovers or even imagined dating a man.
Maybe that was why Jung Jin denied Jooho’s late realization as love. It was just possessiveness— a stubborn desire to hold onto something he liked but was about to lose.
“So if it’s none of that, is it because you don’t like how close Hyunsoo is with Ji-in?”
“Why does it always come back to that?”
Jooho scoffed and set his coffee cup down. Slouching, he shoved his hands into his pants pockets and shot Seo Hae a rebellious teenage glare.
“Did Ji-in and I live together and get divorced? Or at least date? Why the hell should I care about that?”
Seo Hae clicked his tongue and shook his head.
“Yeah, that’s Jooho. People don’t change that easily.”
Then he smiled meaningfully.
“Then can I glare at Hyunsoo?”
“No way,” Jooho grinned crookedly. “His standards are high.”
“You might lose to him, but I’m good enough. Besides, I have something you don’t.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Why not? Look at you now. You’re unlucky. Rude. I’m the kind of guy who can gently take care of a heartbroken baby cat because of some jerk.”
“Don’t be greedy when you already have two cats. That’s beyond your ability.”
“Looks like you don’t want me to take one.”
“He’s not someone you can mess with.”
Jooho’s tone was firm.
Though Hyunsoo seemed rough and carefree, it didn’t take long to realize he wasn’t heartless. He just didn’t expose his wounds or dwell on them in front of others.
He was a strange guy who feared getting attached yet gave his affection ridiculously easily.
“What about me? I’m a serious person.”
“Pfft,” Jooho scoffed.
“You like serious guys.”
“At least I think I’m more serious than you. If I can’t do it, then who the hell lets someone like you get close?”
“Who said I let you get close?”
Jooho snapped angrily this time. The phrase “letting him get close” really irritated him.
“So are you two serious? Dating or something? No, right? Then it’s just messing around.”
“What’s different if we dated? Doesn’t it always end in breaking up?”
“Sounds like you’re afraid of breaking up, so you don’t want to start.”
“……”
Jooho slowly lifted his eyelids and stared across without a hint of a joke. It was almost a murderous look, like acting out a scene.
At that moment, Seo Hae realized he had touched a truth.
When you touch a truth, people tend to get defensive.
“Alright, shut up already. Jeez, scary.”
Seo Hae leaned back and brought the coffee cup to his lips.
Leaving the cake, now a mess, on the plate, Jooho stood up from the stool.
He went down to the underground parking lot, threw his sports bag onto the passenger seat, and started playing music.
Listening to a melody he was now familiar with, he picked up his phone.
He opened the electronic contract with Song Hyunsoo.
Seoul Special City Yongsan-gu Jangmun-ro.
As he scrolled through the address on the contract, he glanced back at the rear seat.
Several shopping bags sat on the low, cramped back seat, barely big enough for an adult to sit comfortably.
These were things he’d bought all at once at Charles de Gaulle Airport after working nonstop in Paris.
Bags, sweaters, sweatshirts, hats, gloves… none were to Jooho’s taste, but as soon as he saw them, he’d bought them without realizing it.
He had already moved the shopping bags that were brought to the Incheon Airport pickup car into this car at the mansion’s parking lot.
He’d be coming home tomorrow anyway for script practice.
Going there now would only be an excuse to meet.